My Father has Colorectal Cancer

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Patrie
Patrie Member Posts: 3
in Caregivers #1

Last March 2, 2013, my auntie, who is in the US with my father and their other siblings, called me up in the Philippines and told me that my Papa has stage 4 Colorectal cancer. Since she couldn't contact my mother who was at an out-of-town seminar, she opted to call me instead, and told me to be the bringer of bad news to the rest of my family.  How was I to tell my mother who was busy with work, my eldest brother who was celebrating his birthday that day and his son who is just 14 years old, my second brother and his wife and baby daughter who were living away at the capital city, and my third eldest brother who has autism that our father is sick?  A few days before that news, Papa messaged me and told me that he was scheduled for a check-up in the next days, and that he was afraid.  He also told me that he wished he could have been a better husband to my mother and a better father to us, 4 siblings. 

I've read that it's going to be a tough ride, even if I'm not the one suffering from the disease and I also learned that I'm supposed to talk about my feelings, especially to those who are around me.  But I can't be all too emotional about what I'm going through especially at work (I'm a college instructor) because I can't let it affect my duties.  I am still lucky though because I have very sympathetic close friends (maybe because most of them are nurses).  I have been crying a lot lately, and come April 2, it would be a month since I learned of the news and the thought of not being able to see and be with my papa is so hard for me to take.  I last saw him when I was 3 years old and what's sad is, I couldn't even remember about his visit.  I was only told by my family about it and I only saw it in pictures.  He hasn't been able to come back home for many years because of his diabetes and heart disease.  It has been my lifelong dream to see my Papa. I do hope that I would be able to go to the US soon. I am asking for your prayers for my father, my family and for me that I be able to successfully process my visitor's visa to the states.

I am regularly writing in my blog about my father and my family's ordeal.  Please visit it and thanks in advance for the support and the prayers.  www.mspatsperous.wordpress.com

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  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #2
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    Prayers

    Prayers and hugs. It is always hard to hear and to pass along bad news. I have been there. Since I lived closest to my mother, I was asked to pass on news to her when her brothers passed. You are dealing with emotions of your own as well. Please keep in mind that your father's journey may not be a quick one. New medicines and protocols are being used all the time. My husband lived with  stage 4 colon cancer for 6 years. I know someone else who has made it 7 years and is still going. Hopefully, you will be able to travel here to see him. Take care, Fay

  • Patrie
    Patrie Member Posts: 3
    #3
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    grandmafay said:

    Prayers

    Prayers and hugs. It is always hard to hear and to pass along bad news. I have been there. Since I lived closest to my mother, I was asked to pass on news to her when her brothers passed. You are dealing with emotions of your own as well. Please keep in mind that your father's journey may not be a quick one. New medicines and protocols are being used all the time. My husband lived with  stage 4 colon cancer for 6 years. I know someone else who has made it 7 years and is still going. Hopefully, you will be able to travel here to see him. Take care, Fay

    Hope

    Indeed, I've been reading a lot and I've also been told that with the advances in medical technology in the States, it won't be impossible to make it for many years. And all the more, what you've said is also proof enough.  Thank you so much for the wishes.  I am going for an interview for my visa come april 25, the death anniversary of my mother's father.  My grandfather has been a listening ear everytime, he knew how much I wanted and needed to see my Papa, I know my grandfather will be my angel during the interview.  They say, what's a minute, what's an hour, what's a day... For me, a minute with my Papa will mean a minute of being with the reason for my brave demeanor, he taught m to never be afraid of life.  An hour would mean being able to have an hour of stories, and a day would mean a day of dreams fulfilled.  Thank you so much again for the support. - Patrina Smile

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