* If You Could Change Something About Yourself, What Would It Be? *

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Comments

  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    SIROD said:

    Tears and Cleaning

    Dear Jamie,

    No one gets bad news without a reaction.  Some are better than others to camouflaging the news and some just have delay reaction to the shock.  I'm in the last category but I found that even with years of bad news, I fell apart in the oncologist office when I agreed to chemotherapy.  I burst out crying like a school girl who lost her boyfriend.  It totally surprised me, embarrased me and made me feel like a food.  Then I realize that it was ok, to show emotions.  Were human and we all do cry.

    My first at diagnosed, I cried 2 minutes as I was going down my hill at the bottom, I said, "pull yourself together or go home to cry".  I knew I couldn't drive that way.  I pull myself together.  I was my children's only caretakers, I had to work, I didn't have the luckury of a good cry because I felt if I did, I wouldn't pull myself together again, so I didn't.  It became a habit to put my life into compartments, doing one step at a time.  

    When I pick up my reports on scans and etc.  I picked them up at medical record and wait until I'm in my car alone to read it.  Usually, I know before I read it as symptoms will tell me.  I learn that one sheet is good and more sheets are bad news.  I can tell by feeling the envelope they put the results in.  I never cry because I usually know my news.  That might be why there is no reaction at the oncologist office because I have a plan to offer.  I knew chemo was going to be it, but I had thought Xeloda over Taxol.  Therefore, the shock!

    Do what you can, and I don't think anyone will say anything 20 years after your death like "oh, she couldn't keep up with the dust on the furniture" standing over your grave.  Do you honestly believe they will say such a stupid thing?  It will be more like she was "a hard fighter with an awful disease and kept up and did all that was required".  Don't let it bother you if it does, ask for help from your family, from your friends.  Not the time to be to proud.  Stage IV is a leveller.

    Best to you,

    Doris

    Thanks a lot!  Now I am

    Thanks a lot!  Now I am wanting some of those Girl Scout Cookies!

    Anyone feel generous in sending me some of those mint ones?

    HEHE!

  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    susie09 said:

    Thanks a lot!  Now I am

    Thanks a lot!  Now I am wanting some of those Girl Scout Cookies!

    Anyone feel generous in sending me some of those mint ones?

    HEHE!

    To answer your question Susie..

    They are all MINE!  lol 

    Sue Surprised

  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    SIROD said:

    For Linda: Chemo, Eye Conditions and Docs

    For Linda,

    Chemo went smooth far better than I expected though I was more nervous for this than anything in the past 18 1/2 years.  I had my mother to worry about in addition.  She bagan to vomit blood from her stomach and they did find blood in that area.  She is going to have an endoscopy today to find the cause.  She is very old, with some dementia so it is a concern to all the others.  We are tough women, we will do it.

    My laser was easy.  Done in a doctor's office.  I did one eye at a time due to the uveitis problems and in a window time frame that it had quiet down.  I went in, it's like minutes and you don't feel one things and it's over.  I had the eye covered as I drove home in the dark, with one eye covered wearing tinted glasses.   I had broken my good pair the day before I went to the doc's office.  Driving like blind and I prayed that I wouldn't hit a jogger that was to stupid to have reflectors on.  Then 2 weeks later I did my other eye.  A month later the uveitis was back in full form, so I was gladd that I had the opportunity to have it done in the short frame time.  Uveitis are inflammatory cell in the uvea of the eye and can lead to blindness.  My only drug is Methotrexate with folic acid and that is why Xeloda wasn't available for me to use this time.  It has been over 5 years since I began Methotrexate and since it is finally working, I am not doing anything to disturb it like you.  Leave well enough alone.

    Wish you well at your appointment with the  other doc.  Let us know.

     

    Doris

    I am going to have to think

    I am going to have to think about this one.  And, I might post more than one.  lol

    I'm so very happy with my life, but, I know I've got a few things that might need worked on.  Just a few.. lol

  • Pink Rose
    Pink Rose Member Posts: 493
    Ritzy said:

    To answer your question Susie..

    They are all MINE!  lol 

    Sue Surprised

    To not be so quick to judge

    To not be so quick to judge people.  Since having bc, I seem to not be as patient and I seem to rush to judging people much more quickly.  I would change that.

    Rose

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    wow...I think anything I have

    wow...I think anything I have control over I have changed-I feel llike I change/ adjust myself but not many other works in return (IF that makes sense)

     

    IF issues with family-i try to see my faults (rest in denial)-i go to therapy to work on my issues. Perhaps I could excercise-i never sit still, always on the go. I have been trying to make time for MYSELF...which I never do. So that would be my biggest change. I DID BOOK a cruise in 61 days no kids or grands (2nd adult only trip).

     

    Denise

  • telecomjd
    telecomjd Member Posts: 66
    More Joy

    I need to live my life with more joy and less anxiety everyday.

  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    telecomjd said:

    More Joy

    I need to live my life with more joy and less anxiety everyday.

    Less anxiety would be a good

    Less anxiety would be a good thing for me to change.  Not that I have it all of the time, every day, as I don't, but, when I have my cancer tests come up, it is awful how tense I get. :(

    My onco finally gave me an anti-anxiety pill to take prior to my tests, which does help a LOT.

  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930

    Hi,
    I gave this lots of

    Hi,

    I gave this lots of thought and finally decided that I would change my eyes.  I hate not being able to see clearly, and I am very tired of deciphering blurry stuff.  I'm tired of enlarging the screen or holding things two inches from my face.  I would like to have 20/20 vision again.

    Hugs,

    Linda

     

    If I could make wishes come

    If I could make wishes come true Linda. I would make a wish that you had 20/20 vision!  I'm going to wish for it anyway..who knows..maybe my wish will come true for you!

     

  • SIROD
    SIROD Member Posts: 2,194 Member

    wow...I think anything I have

    wow...I think anything I have control over I have changed-I feel llike I change/ adjust myself but not many other works in return (IF that makes sense)

     

    IF issues with family-i try to see my faults (rest in denial)-i go to therapy to work on my issues. Perhaps I could excercise-i never sit still, always on the go. I have been trying to make time for MYSELF...which I never do. So that would be my biggest change. I DID BOOK a cruise in 61 days no kids or grands (2nd adult only trip).

     

    Denise

    For Denise

    A cruise sounds like a lot of fun.  Enjoying it and I think they have excercise area that could make you promise to your self come true while  enjoying doing something a lot of others are doing.  It has to be fun otherswise no one would do them.

     

    Best to you and starting counting down, 

     

    Doris

  • Pink Rose
    Pink Rose Member Posts: 493
    jnl said:

    Less anxiety would be a good

    Less anxiety would be a good thing for me to change.  Not that I have it all of the time, every day, as I don't, but, when I have my cancer tests come up, it is awful how tense I get. :(

    My onco finally gave me an anti-anxiety pill to take prior to my tests, which does help a LOT.

    My onco also gives me nerve

    My onco also gives me nerve pills when I have my mammo, ultrasound and MRI, especially for the MRI.  I really hate that machine!  And, it is so noisy.  Does anyone know why?  I really don't know.

  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member

    wow...I think anything I have

    wow...I think anything I have control over I have changed-I feel llike I change/ adjust myself but not many other works in return (IF that makes sense)

     

    IF issues with family-i try to see my faults (rest in denial)-i go to therapy to work on my issues. Perhaps I could excercise-i never sit still, always on the go. I have been trying to make time for MYSELF...which I never do. So that would be my biggest change. I DID BOOK a cruise in 61 days no kids or grands (2nd adult only trip).

     

    Denise

    Have fun on your cruise

    Have fun on your cruise Denise!  Where is it going?

     

    Leeza

  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
    Ritzy said:

    Because

    my hubby bought a bunch of those chocolate mint cookies from the Girl Scouts and I just keep eating them.  LOL  I even had him order some more and I froze them. 

    Do you think I have an addiction?  Yikes!

     

    LOL Ritzy!   I love those GS

    LOL Ritzy!   I love those GS mint cookies too.  Do you know that you can buy the same thing at the grocery store?  Or, I think they taste the same.  I think the brand is Keebler.  It's been awhile since I've bought them, but, they really do taste the same.  Have you tried those?  ( just incase you run out of the girl scout ones LOL )

  • Angie2U
    Angie2U Member Posts: 2,991
    Pink Rose said:

    To not be so quick to judge

    To not be so quick to judge people.  Since having bc, I seem to not be as patient and I seem to rush to judging people much more quickly.  I would change that.

    Rose

    My temper seems to be worse

    My temper seems to be worse anymore and I have to bite my tongue a lot more than usual.  I keep praying for more patience...

  • telecomjd
    telecomjd Member Posts: 66
    Pink Rose said:

    My onco also gives me nerve

    My onco also gives me nerve pills when I have my mammo, ultrasound and MRI, especially for the MRI.  I really hate that machine!  And, it is so noisy.  Does anyone know why?  I really don't know.

    Because a guy designed it...

    LOL.  That's my answer for everything.  The machine is noisy or uncomfortable because a guy designed it.  I told my tech at my last (ever) mammogram before my mastectomy that if a women designed that machine, it would like like Daniel Craig, and it would not mind it.  ;-)  Choose another gorgeous male or female celeb if you're so inclined, but my theory still stands.  

  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    telecomjd said:

    Because a guy designed it...

    LOL.  That's my answer for everything.  The machine is noisy or uncomfortable because a guy designed it.  I told my tech at my last (ever) mammogram before my mastectomy that if a women designed that machine, it would like like Daniel Craig, and it would not mind it.  ;-)  Choose another gorgeous male or female celeb if you're so inclined, but my theory still stands.  

    Oh, I like that a man

    Oh, I like that a man invented it!  lol  I sometimes try to sleep while getting a MRI, but, then you hear that clank clank clank and it is like..ok...thanks a lot..now I can't sleep!

    It sounds like someone hitting it with a hammer.  :(

  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000

    I would like to have been a

    I would like to have been a scientist.

    The one that discovers the cure for cancer.

    Hugs

    Donna

    PS. I would also have loved to have been a skinny vamp.

    A skinny vamp!  I like that

    A skinny vamp!  I like that Donna!   Guess what too?  My hubby brought us home a bunch of those mint cookies!  Apparently someone still had a bunch to sell.  Lucky us, huh? :)

  • SIROD
    SIROD Member Posts: 2,194 Member
    Pink Rose said:

    My onco also gives me nerve

    My onco also gives me nerve pills when I have my mammo, ultrasound and MRI, especially for the MRI.  I really hate that machine!  And, it is so noisy.  Does anyone know why?  I really don't know.

    Good Question on Why the Noise in an MRI

    To understand why MRI scans are loud, you need to have a basic understanding of how MRI works. MRI stands for magnetic resonance imaging. In the simplest terms, MRI machines use extremely powerful magnets combined with electromagnetic fields, and coils which produce radio waves, to produce detailed images of organs and tissues in your body. MRI machines do not use radiation and are non-invasive. They are, however, noisy.

    Noise is created when magnetic fields are cycled on and off, and when magnets exert an opposing force to each other. (There are several magnets in each MRI machine.) The noise is not harmful, but some people may find it alarming or annoying. At Zwanger-Pesiri Radiology, we have invested in special sound dampening walls in our MRI waiting rooms so that you do not hear sounds from other scans while you are waiting. While you are having the exam itself, we provide you with headphones to diminish the sound and increase your comfort.

     

    http://zpradiology.blogspot.com/2012/11/why-are-mri-machines-so-loud.html

     

    Though I did read a wonderful story once by the guy who invented the MRI.  He was laughed at with his idea before the MRI and after he finally fine tuned it and said he did it, people didn't believe him.

     

    Doris