I thought I was done ...... ;(

I had my hysterectomy in Feb. Went through 25 treatments of radiation after, and thought I was "all clear".... Well my pap came back with abnormal cell readings, precancerous readings. So now I have to get more testing done (getting what they need from there) to see if it is precancerous cells. Dr says it may be false readings from radiation, but I am losing hope as I have to keep going back, after I am told I'm "done". I found out last year Dec.30th that I had Cervical cancer and now here we are the holidays again, one year later. I can't seem to tell my family I may not be in the clear. I have been avoiding the what if's and trying to not worry till I know for sure, but I am just really so scared. Nothing seems to be all clear does it? I don't want to ruin the holidays again. Really I just want to run away on vacation with my son and enjoy life. I can't even afford to do that. I'm usually positive, but today I just want to cry and feel sorry for myself. I thought I was a survivor, and now does this mean I may not be? Thanks for listening to me rant.....

Comments

  • ccfighter
    ccfighter Member Posts: 476
    I hope that everything works
    I hope that everything works out for you. I do believe that abnormal pap smears after radiation are common on account of the radiation injurying the cells. Usually this clears up on its own after a few months. I hope that that is all it is in your case. This cancer journey is so hard. Stay strong and positive the best you can. You are not alone.
  • Mo
    Mo Member Posts: 9
    ccfighter said:

    I hope that everything works
    I hope that everything works out for you. I do believe that abnormal pap smears after radiation are common on account of the radiation injurying the cells. Usually this clears up on its own after a few months. I hope that that is all it is in your case. This cancer journey is so hard. Stay strong and positive the best you can. You are not alone.

    Thanks for the kind words
    Thank you. Glad to know and hear that bit of information. I ended radiation end of May so I am hoping that is all it is. As my Dr. feels the same, but every time I think I'm past all of this something else comes up. I hope you are doing well yourself :)