My wife was recently diagnosed with Stage 2a BC

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Comments

  • dthompson
    dthompson Member Posts: 149
    #42
    laughs_a_lot said:

    Hey try not to sweat
    the being angry at God thing. He has some pretty broad shoulders. In fact think how humans react when you are mad at them. Being angry at God is ok for a while till you get things figured out. Remember he is not angry at you.

    Glad you came here. It is a shame you have to join us though. Yes the informal education here keeps us from driving the doctors and nurses bonkers. We also are very frank and will say "You need to take this issue to the doctor"

    Thank you so much,
    I think
    Thank you so much,
    I think the anger is starting to subside, now just the fear of the unknow is the worst. We had a minor setback this weekend as it was time to shave my wifes head and that really bummed her out but it has to be done. Thanks again, I look forward to continuing on this post and maybe I can help others as well. God Bless !!

    Dennis
  • dthompson
    dthompson Member Posts: 149
    #43
    laughs_a_lot said:

    Hey try not to sweat
    the being angry at God thing. He has some pretty broad shoulders. In fact think how humans react when you are mad at them. Being angry at God is ok for a while till you get things figured out. Remember he is not angry at you.

    Glad you came here. It is a shame you have to join us though. Yes the informal education here keeps us from driving the doctors and nurses bonkers. We also are very frank and will say "You need to take this issue to the doctor"

    Thank you so much,
    I think
    Thank you so much,
    I think the anger is starting to subside, now just the fear of the unknow is the worst. We had a minor setback this weekend as it was time to shave my wifes head and that really bummed her out but it has to be done. Thanks again, I look forward to continuing on this post and maybe I can help others as well. God Bless !!

    Dennis
  • Clementine_P
    Clementine_P Member Posts: 518 Member
    #44
    dthompson said:

    Hi Clementine
    Thank you so
    Hi Clementine
    Thank you so much for the reply. It sounds like you and my wife have/had a very similar similar diagnosis. We had a rough weekend as she was ready to shave her head. I did it for her but we were both in tears the entire time. She feels much better physically now because of the hair being gone, but mentally she is not handling it well. She refuses to look in the mirror without a hat or wig on as she does not want to see herself bald. I respect her wishes as hair is much more important to women than to us guys. I bought the book " Breast Cancer Husband" this weekend which helped considerably. We will be getting the BRAC test soon and if it is positive we will do the double mast with reconstruction as neither of us want to have to deal with this nightmare again. Her breast surgeon feels that the tumor will shrink enough to only do a lumpectomy but we do not feel comfortable with this (with family history). Her tumor is definitly shrinking as it is almost undetectable now to the touch, prior to starting chemo it was very easy to find and very obvious to the touch. I look forward to continue speaking with you on this post, you all have been so helpful. God Bless !!
    Dennis

    Hair loss
    Hi Dennis,

    I look forward to answering any questions/concerns you may have and I know that you may have a lot of them going forward. The fear of the unknown in this process is really difficult. Feel free to ask me anything - nothing is off limits. If you prefer to "private message" me, that works too.

    I completely understand your decision to not have just a lumpectomy. I had a strong family history as well and that is one reason why I decided to go for a double (I had the BRAC test and came out negative). I just didn't want the worry to hang over me going forward indefinitely. My radiologist told me that with my history I would need a mammogram twice a year and an MRI twice a year for the rest of my life. For me it was not something that I wanted to deal with every three months. So, for me this decision made the most sense.

    I can also completely relate about the trauma of having to shave your head. For me that was the most traumatic part of this entire process. Everyone is different and for lots of people losing their hair doesn't bother them very much but that was not the case for me. I will tell you that over time I got used to it and as time passed it didn't bother me nearly as much. I suspect your wife will get better at dealing with it soon. At first it is just very traumatic.

    I am so so happy to hear that the chemo is working to shrink the tumor! That is fantastic news. You are really an amazing husband. Your lovely wife is very lucky to have someone as caring as you.

    I hope that she is doing a little better today and that you and she weather this storm together.

    All the best,
    Clementine
  • dthompson
    dthompson Member Posts: 149
    #45
    Clementine_P said:

    Hair loss
    Hi Dennis,

    I look forward to answering any questions/concerns you may have and I know that you may have a lot of them going forward. The fear of the unknown in this process is really difficult. Feel free to ask me anything - nothing is off limits. If you prefer to "private message" me, that works too.

    I completely understand your decision to not have just a lumpectomy. I had a strong family history as well and that is one reason why I decided to go for a double (I had the BRAC test and came out negative). I just didn't want the worry to hang over me going forward indefinitely. My radiologist told me that with my history I would need a mammogram twice a year and an MRI twice a year for the rest of my life. For me it was not something that I wanted to deal with every three months. So, for me this decision made the most sense.

    I can also completely relate about the trauma of having to shave your head. For me that was the most traumatic part of this entire process. Everyone is different and for lots of people losing their hair doesn't bother them very much but that was not the case for me. I will tell you that over time I got used to it and as time passed it didn't bother me nearly as much. I suspect your wife will get better at dealing with it soon. At first it is just very traumatic.

    I am so so happy to hear that the chemo is working to shrink the tumor! That is fantastic news. You are really an amazing husband. Your lovely wife is very lucky to have someone as caring as you.

    I hope that she is doing a little better today and that you and she weather this storm together.

    All the best,
    Clementine

    Hi Clementine,
    Thank you
    Hi Clementine,
    Thank you again for your post. My wife is doing better. She was vey nervous about going to work yesterday and wearing her wig for the first time. All of her staff made her feel very comfortable about it and all commented on how the loved the hairstyle and that the wig looked completely real. That made her feel better. She still will not look at herself in the mirror without something on her head. I think she will get better with time also but I will sit back and let her wait until she feels comfortable with it. Thanks again.

    Gob Bless !!

    Dennis
  • JanPat
    JanPat Member Posts: 25
    #46
    dthompson said:

    Thank you so much,
    I think
    Thank you so much,
    I think the anger is starting to subside, now just the fear of the unknow is the worst. We had a minor setback this weekend as it was time to shave my wifes head and that really bummed her out but it has to be done. Thanks again, I look forward to continuing on this post and maybe I can help others as well. God Bless !!

    Dennis

    The tears that fall
    I remember all too well the day that my husband had to shave my head. It is traumatic and please do not be ashamed of the tears that flow. It took me several days to get over crying every time I looked in the mirror. We were both so excited when the chemo was over and my hair started to come back in. While everyone else was telling me how cute I was in hats all I could think of was that the woman looking back at me in the mirror was not the woman that I knew. Love, love, love on your wife!

    May God bless you both and carry you through this difficult stage in your life.

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