Question from breast cancer board -- any thoughts about pink ribbons & October?

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Comments

  • abrub
    abrub Member Posts: 2,174 Member
    This is a topic I’ve
    This is a topic I’ve thought a lot about. Frankly, I’ve seen way too much pink. Everyone assumes that because I’m a woman and a cancer survivor, of course I had breast cancer. And also because the chemo with breast cancer is associated with losing your hair, the fact that my chemo didn’t cause my hair to fall out means that my chemo wasn’t as “difficult” to tolerate. (Frankly, hair falling out would have been vastly preferable to the side effects I did endure.)

    A lot more needs to be done to encourage awareness of all cancers, and to raise research dollars for all cancers. Breast Cancer is successful because there are so many survivors able to fight for the cause. In other cancers, we don’t have the survivor base to drum up dollars for the cause.

    Cancer is cancer and it is horrible, however you look at it. I’m not going to compare our various journeys through cancer – some of us have had it worse than others; none of us has had it easy.

    But I do hate the emphasis on pink, and almost feel like people are being condescending, offering me what-have-you (a shoe horn, in once situation) while proudly noting “see, we have the pink ribbon on it!” Alternately, people seem uncomfortable when I tell them that my cancer wasn’t breast cancer – I no longer fit their “mold”.

    That being said, over the past few weeks, I’ve turned to the “Pink Sisters” for support as I’ve gone through my major breast cancer scare, complete with every procedure up to and including lumpectomy. You were all there for me and I appreciate it. But you would have been there for me without the pink ribbons, just as we, in colorectal cancer (blue ribbons) would be there for you if you need to visit our site with questions. We cancer survivors know something that no one who hasn’t been through this can know, and for the most part, we share our knowledge and support each other.

    And a side note, like Ruffy7, I’m not colon cancer either. She and I sport the little-known amber ribbons of Appendix Cancer. However, there aren’t enough of us to support our own group. And research dollars for Appendix Cancer? Virtually non-existent. (By the way, Audrey Hepburn died of appendix cancer.)

    Let’s get off the pink band wagon, and find something that represents CANCER, and work together for research on all cancers, not just those who scream the loudest.

    PS - I want one of the T-shirts!
  • RobinKaye
    RobinKaye Member Posts: 93
    abrub said:

    This is a topic I’ve
    This is a topic I’ve thought a lot about. Frankly, I’ve seen way too much pink. Everyone assumes that because I’m a woman and a cancer survivor, of course I had breast cancer. And also because the chemo with breast cancer is associated with losing your hair, the fact that my chemo didn’t cause my hair to fall out means that my chemo wasn’t as “difficult” to tolerate. (Frankly, hair falling out would have been vastly preferable to the side effects I did endure.)

    A lot more needs to be done to encourage awareness of all cancers, and to raise research dollars for all cancers. Breast Cancer is successful because there are so many survivors able to fight for the cause. In other cancers, we don’t have the survivor base to drum up dollars for the cause.

    Cancer is cancer and it is horrible, however you look at it. I’m not going to compare our various journeys through cancer – some of us have had it worse than others; none of us has had it easy.

    But I do hate the emphasis on pink, and almost feel like people are being condescending, offering me what-have-you (a shoe horn, in once situation) while proudly noting “see, we have the pink ribbon on it!” Alternately, people seem uncomfortable when I tell them that my cancer wasn’t breast cancer – I no longer fit their “mold”.

    That being said, over the past few weeks, I’ve turned to the “Pink Sisters” for support as I’ve gone through my major breast cancer scare, complete with every procedure up to and including lumpectomy. You were all there for me and I appreciate it. But you would have been there for me without the pink ribbons, just as we, in colorectal cancer (blue ribbons) would be there for you if you need to visit our site with questions. We cancer survivors know something that no one who hasn’t been through this can know, and for the most part, we share our knowledge and support each other.

    And a side note, like Ruffy7, I’m not colon cancer either. She and I sport the little-known amber ribbons of Appendix Cancer. However, there aren’t enough of us to support our own group. And research dollars for Appendix Cancer? Virtually non-existent. (By the way, Audrey Hepburn died of appendix cancer.)

    Let’s get off the pink band wagon, and find something that represents CANCER, and work together for research on all cancers, not just those who scream the loudest.

    PS - I want one of the T-shirts!

    I think you nailed it...
    it's condescending. Breast cancer gets so much attention by politicians, marketers etc., because they are going after a constituency. What other cancer can you lump one voting category in like breast cancer. They get the funding because it's politically expedient - get the female vote, marketers wanting to sell to the biggest consumer block use pink ribbons on their product to scream "look at us we care about women". Breast cancer awareness advocates have done an excellent job of messaging, they are raising a lot of money for research, some of which might trickle down to other cancers but they have been able to do this because of, for lack of a better word, pandering to women. If you don't support breast cancer awareness you are anti-woman. It's condescending.

    I care about breast cancer just like I care about lymphoma, leukemia, colorectal cancer and so on. Is breast cancer bad, has it affected people I know...yes. It's horrible but no more so than any other cancer. Actually being a caregiver to a rectal cancer patient and seeing how it has created a prisoner to the toilet with all the ensuing pain I know if I had to choose I'd take breast cancer insofar as the effect it would have on my quality of life.
  • bailee2012
    bailee2012 Member Posts: 60
    I am so glad to see that I am not alone
    Reading all of your posts has made me feel that I am not alone in the whole "sick of pink ribbons" thing. Just last week I was berating myself for feeling that I am sick of all this pink ribbons stuff everywhere and what about everyone else who has cancer just not breast cancer. Honestly I had never given it any thought until my husband was diagnosed stage IV in may at 48 years old. I bought tissues last week and didn't realize til I got home that the box is decorated with pink ribbons just like everything else is this month. I was actually aggravated about that. I was tellin myself that I should not feel that way because breast cancer survivors are in the same battle with this monster as we are. Maybe at your church meeting you could pass out ribbons in all the colors of the other cancers and explain what each color represents. This is a great opportunity for you to make those people "aware" of the other cancers that people are battling every day.
    By the way, everyone on this board has been an inspiration to me because I didn't think it was possible to survive stage IV when husband was diagnosed but have realized through all of you that it IS possible. Thank you so much for that!!!
  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member

    I am so glad to see that I am not alone
    Reading all of your posts has made me feel that I am not alone in the whole "sick of pink ribbons" thing. Just last week I was berating myself for feeling that I am sick of all this pink ribbons stuff everywhere and what about everyone else who has cancer just not breast cancer. Honestly I had never given it any thought until my husband was diagnosed stage IV in may at 48 years old. I bought tissues last week and didn't realize til I got home that the box is decorated with pink ribbons just like everything else is this month. I was actually aggravated about that. I was tellin myself that I should not feel that way because breast cancer survivors are in the same battle with this monster as we are. Maybe at your church meeting you could pass out ribbons in all the colors of the other cancers and explain what each color represents. This is a great opportunity for you to make those people "aware" of the other cancers that people are battling every day.
    By the way, everyone on this board has been an inspiration to me because I didn't think it was possible to survive stage IV when husband was diagnosed but have realized through all of you that it IS possible. Thank you so much for that!!!

    Ribbons
    bailee2012, my first thought about a ritual to include in our church service was also to make available ribbons in colors of different cancers, and allow folks to tie them on a tree in honor or memory of a loved one (or themselves).

    But after I downloaded a long list of awareness ribbons from Wikipedia, I realized that unfortunately wasn't going to work. Because there are only so many colors, many causes share colors (yellow, for example, is the color for bone cancer, but is of course also associated with support for the military), or use multicolor striped ribbons (the ribbon for head and neck cancer is burgundy and ivory striped) that I knew I wouldn't have the money or resources to find for our service.

    And I also knew that, even if I did my very best to include every possible color, there would be someone who felt I had excluded his/her loved one.

    So...what we're doing for the service is setting up our big artificial Christmas tree prominently at the front of the church, decorated with lavender silk flowers -- during the service, we'll invite folks to tie lavender ribbons (representing all cancers, according to the ACS) on the tree in honor or memory of anyone. We'll leave the tree there with all the ribbons until it's time to decorate it for Christmas.

    We hope that will be meaningful for our congregation, and make an ongoing statement every Sunday until Christmas about inclusion of everyone whose life is turned upside down by cancer.

    Traci
  • janderson1964
    janderson1964 Member Posts: 2,215 Member
    PhillieG said:

    Ribbons
    I see so many ribbons on almost EVERYTHING that to me, it only signifies that someone is basically give some cause a "Harumph". It doesn't signify wholehearted support to me. It falls under the least one can do. I wish that pancreatic cancer got much more funding than it does get. It's just not as "popular" as breast or colon cancers.

    I'm probably totally off base with this but one of the first things I think of when I see the pink ribbon is the "Susan G. Komen for the Cure" organization and the thoughts are negative due to their copyright of the phrase and not allowing other cancers to use "for the cure" in their fund drives not to mention their stand on "women's issues"...

    In 2007, the organization changed its name to Susan G. Komen for the Cure and trademarked the running ribbon as part of its new branding strategy. Komen has come under fire for legal action against other non-profits or organizations using the phrase "for the cure" within their names. An August 2010 article in the Wall Street Journal detailed a case in which the organization Uniting Against Lung Cancer was told in a letter from Komen that they should no longer use the name "Kites for the Cure" for their annual fundraising event. Komen also wrote to the organization to warn them "against any use of pink in conjunction with 'cure.'" More than 100 small charities have received legal opposition from Komen regarding various uses of the words "for the cure" in their names. Among the offending charitable organizations and events were "Par for the Cure," "Surfing for a Cure," "Cupcakes for a Cure" and "Mush for the Cure".

    I just wish more was spent on less common cancers by our Government and that regular people took cancer more seriously. At some point, everyone's affected by cancer.
    Aren't you glad you asked?

    I couldnt agree with you
    I couldnt agree with you more.
  • Jaylo969
    Jaylo969 Member Posts: 824 Member
    Traci...
    I am delighted that someone "Gets it." Thank you Traci!

    I live on a very busy avenue and 300 pink-adorned motorcycles just roared down the street. Pink on everything...helmets, clothes and pepto colored cycles stopping traffic for over 15 minutes.I stood on my sidewalk and watched and commented on how I wish that people would participate in things like that by sponsoring ALL cancers.We CC folks do good to get a handfull to participate in or even acknowledge things pertaining to the hind quarters of the body.It just ain't sexy.

    I attend an American Cancer Society support group in my area. It is for general cancer, not just breast cancer. I am thinking seriously about stopping my attendance because most of the meetings seem to be focused on breast cancer.Our group took a meal over to Hope Lodge in August and a nice lady came up to me and asked " Did you have both breasts removed?" I wanted to say "No, but I did have half of my A $ $ taken out. Wanna' see?"
    When I was on chemo I had someone tell me, "Hey, I like your wig". ...I didn't lose my hair, just a lot of other things.

    Thank you Traci...I have been wanting to say this for a long time. I feel better now. Oh yeah, I buy NO pink stuff. I don't like the way it has become so commercialized.
























    -Pat...3 yr. Colon Cancer Survivor and proud of it.
  • maglets
    maglets Member Posts: 2,576 Member
    Jaylo969 said:

    Traci...
    I am delighted that someone "Gets it." Thank you Traci!

    I live on a very busy avenue and 300 pink-adorned motorcycles just roared down the street. Pink on everything...helmets, clothes and pepto colored cycles stopping traffic for over 15 minutes.I stood on my sidewalk and watched and commented on how I wish that people would participate in things like that by sponsoring ALL cancers.We CC folks do good to get a handfull to participate in or even acknowledge things pertaining to the hind quarters of the body.It just ain't sexy.

    I attend an American Cancer Society support group in my area. It is for general cancer, not just breast cancer. I am thinking seriously about stopping my attendance because most of the meetings seem to be focused on breast cancer.Our group took a meal over to Hope Lodge in August and a nice lady came up to me and asked " Did you have both breasts removed?" I wanted to say "No, but I did have half of my A $ $ taken out. Wanna' see?"
    When I was on chemo I had someone tell me, "Hey, I like your wig". ...I didn't lose my hair, just a lot of other things.

    Thank you Traci...I have been wanting to say this for a long time. I feel better now. Oh yeah, I buy NO pink stuff. I don't like the way it has become so commercialized.
























    -Pat...3 yr. Colon Cancer Survivor and proud of it.

    sorry Traci
    sorry traci////don't mean to intrude....

    Pat it is cold and rainy here....just sat down with a nice glass of red wine....

    when i read your A$$ and wig comments I started to laugh so hard.....tears rolling down my cheeks. Pat that is THE BEST....thanks for the nice big belly laugh

    have a hug.....

    mags

    oh and I wanted to mention .....went to our Farmers' Market here this morning and there was a couple collecting money for the local Canadian Cancer Society. They were collecting money in a genuine toilet.....that they had painted bright bepto-bismal PINK....whaaaaaaa??????

    is nothing scared.....I thought we semi-colons at least might have some claims on the toilet as a symbol but apparently not.....haha

    mags
  • abrub
    abrub Member Posts: 2,174 Member
    maglets said:

    sorry Traci
    sorry traci////don't mean to intrude....

    Pat it is cold and rainy here....just sat down with a nice glass of red wine....

    when i read your A$$ and wig comments I started to laugh so hard.....tears rolling down my cheeks. Pat that is THE BEST....thanks for the nice big belly laugh

    have a hug.....

    mags

    oh and I wanted to mention .....went to our Farmers' Market here this morning and there was a couple collecting money for the local Canadian Cancer Society. They were collecting money in a genuine toilet.....that they had painted bright bepto-bismal PINK....whaaaaaaa??????

    is nothing scared.....I thought we semi-colons at least might have some claims on the toilet as a symbol but apparently not.....haha

    mags

    I agree with Mags
    No, I still have both my breasts, but I'm only half-@$$ed.

    Pat, your comments are GREAT!

    Alice a/k/a Semi-Colon Alice
  • maglets
    maglets Member Posts: 2,576 Member
    maglets said:

    sorry Traci
    sorry traci////don't mean to intrude....

    Pat it is cold and rainy here....just sat down with a nice glass of red wine....

    when i read your A$$ and wig comments I started to laugh so hard.....tears rolling down my cheeks. Pat that is THE BEST....thanks for the nice big belly laugh

    have a hug.....

    mags

    oh and I wanted to mention .....went to our Farmers' Market here this morning and there was a couple collecting money for the local Canadian Cancer Society. They were collecting money in a genuine toilet.....that they had painted bright bepto-bismal PINK....whaaaaaaa??????

    is nothing scared.....I thought we semi-colons at least might have some claims on the toilet as a symbol but apparently not.....haha

    mags

    oh dear
    I wrote scared but of course I meant sacred.....wow this vino must potent stuff
    and Alice I believe you have two and one half breasts...:)
  • abrub
    abrub Member Posts: 2,174 Member
    maglets said:

    oh dear
    I wrote scared but of course I meant sacred.....wow this vino must potent stuff
    and Alice I believe you have two and one half breasts...:)

    By volume, absolutely!
    I think you're right, Mags!

    (Oh, and I have numerous punctuation issues: not only am I a semi-colon, no more full-colon; but after all the surgical removals, I no longer have a period! The only definitive in my life is a question mark.)

    I should add that I think the idea of the lavender universal cancer ribbons is the right way to go. People can write the person's name and/or cancer on the ribbon if they'd like.

    Another note - I have a pink ribbon blanket a friend made for me, and she doesn't know (or understand why) I can't use it. Anyone want a pink-ribbon fleece blanket? It is nice, but just not for me!
  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    Traci - I think your idea is
    Traci - I think your idea is a lovely one and I can tell you have really gone out of your way to be inclusive and thoughtful to all.

    I asked my teenager what she thought - lots of pink out games and pink in the HS this month. She said it's a good thing and she figured if they find a cure for breast cancer, they'll be that much closer to curing other types.

    I'm not sure how I feel about the pink or really about a lot of the cancer stuff - relay for life, etc. I kind of feel like there is really just too much money thrown at cancer - why would they come up with a cure when they have so much money coming in each year? Maybe if all the money that was raised went directly to people who were suffering with cancer it would be better, or more education about avoiding cancer, etc. It just seems to me that there has been so much money given for research, it makes me skeptical...

    Plus think about all of the other horrible diseases out there and how those people must feel about any type of cancer fundraising - as far as I know there still is not cure for ALS and other diseases.
  • Jaylo969
    Jaylo969 Member Posts: 824 Member
    abrub said:

    I agree with Mags
    No, I still have both my breasts, but I'm only half-@$$ed.

    Pat, your comments are GREAT!

    Alice a/k/a Semi-Colon Alice

    Mags & Alice
    My pleasure to make you smile:))

    -Pat
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331 Member
    jen2012 said:

    Traci - I think your idea is
    Traci - I think your idea is a lovely one and I can tell you have really gone out of your way to be inclusive and thoughtful to all.

    I asked my teenager what she thought - lots of pink out games and pink in the HS this month. She said it's a good thing and she figured if they find a cure for breast cancer, they'll be that much closer to curing other types.

    I'm not sure how I feel about the pink or really about a lot of the cancer stuff - relay for life, etc. I kind of feel like there is really just too much money thrown at cancer - why would they come up with a cure when they have so much money coming in each year? Maybe if all the money that was raised went directly to people who were suffering with cancer it would be better, or more education about avoiding cancer, etc. It just seems to me that there has been so much money given for research, it makes me skeptical...

    Plus think about all of the other horrible diseases out there and how those people must feel about any type of cancer fundraising - as far as I know there still is not cure for ALS and other diseases.

    Hahaha! Mags, Pat,Alice , I'm coughing a lot ,please u gonna
    kill me ,I got a big flu! Hahah, aghhh,aghhhh!.
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    thanks
    Hey, Traci.

    I do have to admit that I have to grit my teeth a lot in October. I do love all my friends who have struggled with breast cancer, but I sure wish people knew that women do get other types of cancer.

    Thank you for asking!

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member
    pepebcn said:

    Hahaha! Mags, Pat,Alice , I'm coughing a lot ,please u gonna
    kill me ,I got a big flu! Hahah, aghhh,aghhhh!.

    "I like your wig"?!?
    Oh, Pat...That's one of those comments to which my grandpa would have said, "You might as well laugh as to cry."

    And PLEASE promise me that, if anyone ever asks you again about your "mastectomy," that you WILL use that line....it's perfect!

    A pink TOILET, Mags? What vino were THEY drinking? I feel as though I should apologize on behalf of all breast cancer survivors for stealing your "sacred symbol"! :-) :-) :-)

    Traci
  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member
    abrub said:

    By volume, absolutely!
    I think you're right, Mags!

    (Oh, and I have numerous punctuation issues: not only am I a semi-colon, no more full-colon; but after all the surgical removals, I no longer have a period! The only definitive in my life is a question mark.)

    I should add that I think the idea of the lavender universal cancer ribbons is the right way to go. People can write the person's name and/or cancer on the ribbon if they'd like.

    Another note - I have a pink ribbon blanket a friend made for me, and she doesn't know (or understand why) I can't use it. Anyone want a pink-ribbon fleece blanket? It is nice, but just not for me!

    Might offer your blanket on the breast cancer board?
    Hi, Alice -

    If you're serious about wanting to offload that blanket, you might post on the breast cancer board, and ask anyone interested to PM you? I'm sure there are ladies going through chemo now in this colder weather who might appreciate a handmade pink-ribbon blanket.

    After all, you and your poor bruised and battered breasts have been through enough to surely make you an honorary "sister" on our board, and at least then your friend's misguided gesture would bring a little comfort to someone else.

    Traci
  • thxmiker
    thxmiker Member Posts: 1,278 Member
    TraciInLA said:

    Ribbons
    bailee2012, my first thought about a ritual to include in our church service was also to make available ribbons in colors of different cancers, and allow folks to tie them on a tree in honor or memory of a loved one (or themselves).

    But after I downloaded a long list of awareness ribbons from Wikipedia, I realized that unfortunately wasn't going to work. Because there are only so many colors, many causes share colors (yellow, for example, is the color for bone cancer, but is of course also associated with support for the military), or use multicolor striped ribbons (the ribbon for head and neck cancer is burgundy and ivory striped) that I knew I wouldn't have the money or resources to find for our service.

    And I also knew that, even if I did my very best to include every possible color, there would be someone who felt I had excluded his/her loved one.

    So...what we're doing for the service is setting up our big artificial Christmas tree prominently at the front of the church, decorated with lavender silk flowers -- during the service, we'll invite folks to tie lavender ribbons (representing all cancers, according to the ACS) on the tree in honor or memory of anyone. We'll leave the tree there with all the ribbons until it's time to decorate it for Christmas.

    We hope that will be meaningful for our congregation, and make an ongoing statement every Sunday until Christmas about inclusion of everyone whose life is turned upside down by cancer.

    Traci

    I love the Tree w/Ribbons!
    When I lived in Cali (Simi Valley), our Relay for Life chapter had a lot of Seven Day Adventists. They also did a Ribbon Tree for all Relay for Life fund raisers. One could donate to put a ribbon up, or just put a ribbon up. Messages and prayers were said. They were powerful joyful events.

    The Christmas Tree with the ribbons sounds really neat! If we were still in Cali, we would come and see you.

    Best Always, mike