might be starting chemo, will know tomorrow, UPDATED no chemo hipec instead

2

Comments

  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    Good luck...I pray all goes
    Good luck...I pray all goes well. I'm sure it will. I bet your other attempts have slowed things down. Just keep moving forward!
  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    Good luck...I pray all goes
    Oops....repost several times!
  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    Good luck...I pray all goes
    Oops
  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    Good luck...I pray all goes
    Oops
  • toyfox
    toyfox Member Posts: 158 Member
    Dear Pete
    Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
    Keep on fighting.
    Hugs...Linda/Andrew
  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    Good luck...I pray all goes
    Oops
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    Sorry
    Sorry that it has come back. Wishing you the best outcome with the upcoming procedure and if you need treatment in the future hoping that goes well for you too. Hope that you can gain some weight and build yourself up. Thinking of you.

    Kim
  • Maxiecat
    Maxiecat Member Posts: 544 Member
    Hang in there Pete. You
    Hang in there Pete. You have a plan now... Focus on gaining weight and muscle. Hopefully they will fast track your hipec... So glad to hear that your surgeon has so many under his belt. It will go well... One foot in front of the other.... All will be good. It is a long recovery after the shake and bake but this is what you need to do.

    Alex
  • abrub
    abrub Member Posts: 2,174 Member
    Lots of good advice here
    Extra weight is your friend now, as surgery/HIPEC will take a lot from you. You need physical and emotional reserves. However, it is an effective treatment.

    I'll be thinking of you and cheering you on!
    Alice
  • pete43lost_at_sea
    pete43lost_at_sea Member Posts: 3,900 Member
    a real big thanks everyone, my beautiful wife is not coping
    we will find a way. this is a chilling twist to me stage 4 story.

    so yesterday as a fluke i was interviewing a nurse/house keeper. i have asked in our local community for domestic help, friends and neighbours have been tremendous. now all this was just before i knew hipec consult and the opportunity for surgery. it was apart of the getting the affairs and house in order process.

    so the nurse who turns up, the same day as my positive consult with doctor morris, well she knows prof morris, she was managed the after hours mobile at this big hospital. she knows the issues with peritoneal mets as said 2 years best was her experience. she also said prof morris is a good man. i like to get supportive positive feedback regarding surgeons and doctors, even if its just an opinion. the recommendation was unsolicited. but it builds my confidence.

    her advice is that i won't make it if i don't leave the family home due to anger and hoarding. her view was based on a 5 minute discussion with my wife.

    I have mentioned my wifes ocd hoarding before, but not often.

    in epigenetics and in the alternative and now in the conventional i am getting the message its the environment. so now the home environment is crucial.

    I have been with my wife 22 years, now the last 2 years with colorectal have been an extra challenge for her. for us all in different.

    the advice i have to leave her for even 6 months to convalese and cope with irenoteacan hard core is stressful in itself.

    in my heart i cannot leave her or the kids at this stage of my illness or my life. i don't want to exist in a ground floor unit on my own. to lonely, but yes some pluses.

    tonight was the last day of the school term, the kids principle took the kids home. she stayed and cleaned out the kids room to 8pm. my son has a bed to sleep for the first time in 6 months. the kids helped the principle, who is gifted and respected by my wife. all the bags of rubbish were removed after serious protests by my wife. if i had done this I would have been assulted by her, we are not allowed to throw anything away. life with a wife with ocd hoarding has its challenges, no offense but i find stage 4 easier to deal with at an emotional level anyway.

    what i am sharing is a reflection on the backdrop that our cancer has on our families, this is just my story. so my walking and holidays are a form of escape from a difficult domestic environment. the kitchen is my battleground, i lost the war in the house along time ago, but i control the kitchen and bathroom.

    the big issues of my wife and kids future with her illness and its classed as an illness, well is uncertain, like all our futures. in many ways i am proud of how my wife and kids are going, despite the challenges around us. yes i have questioned the efforts i have put into integrative and functional medicine, but not in a negative way, just in a constructive way given the need i see in my family.

    I took the kids out to thank them working with the principle between 4 and 8pm, my wife came as well but did not talk, she was really down. her words were "she was rape", not by me, but tonight by the principle. i however was really glad that my little 6 year old boy has a clean room and asleep in his bed, that all the bags of rubbish from the kids room have been removed into the principles car and taken away. you see if they are put outside, my wife would be going through them now and bringing back most of the "rubbish" because to her these things are precious memories not rubbish.

    just another day in the colorectal journey, my journey. the 1% mortality from the op is a wakeup. my asking for help, from anyone around me reflects the knowledge that i got an exciting challenge before me, but i will shoot for the 50% curative intentive op. they are nice numbers, and my alt therapies need some help.

    doing all the hipec workup scans in 6 hours, i picked up my mri primostist liver scans this arvo. all the info is being presented at the radiological review meeting monday. i hope and pray i get on the list. i want this operation, but only if they ( the doctors ) support me for it.

    yes i am going to sacrifice all my health on this very very big operation. I have many pluses, ironically my wife and kids are a big plus, the nurse/housekeeper who will be my "alice" from the brady bunch, and great health going into the theatre. its still a 4 week lead time likely 6 weeks, its also

    if the home is not suitable for my convalesence then i have private health insurance and i will get an option close by. hopefully my wife and all the mum's from the school will have the house at a level thats healthy for me to comeback to. thats likely 10 weeks down the track and time will tell as craig says.

    I went out and purchased 4 more ukrain viles, adding them to my vit c bag tomorrow. going to get the nurse to admister them for me, i will take them to the hospital and see if i can get them to slip them into a drip. google ukrain and surgery and cancer and read. its got some supportitive methods of action, i goto stop the seeds.

    I also saw alt doc 3 my chelation expert, he has never heard of antabuse to chelate platinum. so i am using this based on alt doc 5 out of denmark and no local support. alt doc 3 just smiled and shook my hand. he said you are doing it all and your marker is still rising. the good news is alt doc 3 is a far infared sauna junkie, he smiled and nodded that an hour at 50 minutes twice a day should get the metals moving.

    the stategy issue is now the sauna also contributes to weightloss as does the catabolic nature of our cancer. so it comes back to diet again, and ensuring ample calories, every meal with enymes to ensure muscle gain. especially given i won't be fed for 2 to 3 weeks post hipec op. its into the vein for dinner for that time frame. oh yum. glad i went 2 weeks no food from the low anterior resection 2 years ago, so i know the score.

    i am still chelating like crazy, taking my supplements and juices. I figured I wanted to present the full picture here so the alternative therapies have a backdrop. you see all natural healing approaches talk about emotional healing. I have made a pretty good effort at the alternatives certainly given my resources and environment. I could have done a far better job in a more peaceful supportive home, but the reality is we implement these therapies in the real world, with real budgets and into real families.

    I hope the scans tomorrow go well, i hope I get onto the hipec list, I am ready and willing to go at the drop of a hat, so who knows when. they have two patients preped for each surgery window, because after they open you up and do your tumour score, saddly they just close you back up and say no go. that why they have two patients on the burner. I do count myself blessed with our hospital system, its only 5 minutes to the kids school.

    how lucky am i to have the best hipec surgeon in australia operating out of my major local hospital.

    I also popped in this afternoon and gave onc 1 receceptionist a hug, we actually both cried. i explained the stats, she said onc 1 has not dumped you, just that you needed to see onc 5 who ordered the pet. now onc 3 is the hipec onc. are you getting confused well i am. but the time and effort in being real with all the people around me is helping. now alison is still the best receptionist in the world. I asked her for a few kilograms as she has been on a weightloss program. we just laughed because now i am on the weight gain program. she would have lent me a few kilograms if she could.

    having caring doctors and friends makes this journey a positive experience. that includes all of you as well.

    hugs,
    Pete

    ps my wife actually googled me herself, she read all your kind comments and suggestions. she was smiling when she told me this.
    PPs tomorrow is a big day, its actually today. so i got to go to sleep.
    ppps getting the nurse house keeper on board is essential to removing the strain from my wife, as all the help i provide soon will stop. it will also give the kids some practical domestic support. school holidays started today and it should be alot of fun.
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member

    a real big thanks everyone, my beautiful wife is not coping
    we will find a way. this is a chilling twist to me stage 4 story.

    so yesterday as a fluke i was interviewing a nurse/house keeper. i have asked in our local community for domestic help, friends and neighbours have been tremendous. now all this was just before i knew hipec consult and the opportunity for surgery. it was apart of the getting the affairs and house in order process.

    so the nurse who turns up, the same day as my positive consult with doctor morris, well she knows prof morris, she was managed the after hours mobile at this big hospital. she knows the issues with peritoneal mets as said 2 years best was her experience. she also said prof morris is a good man. i like to get supportive positive feedback regarding surgeons and doctors, even if its just an opinion. the recommendation was unsolicited. but it builds my confidence.

    her advice is that i won't make it if i don't leave the family home due to anger and hoarding. her view was based on a 5 minute discussion with my wife.

    I have mentioned my wifes ocd hoarding before, but not often.

    in epigenetics and in the alternative and now in the conventional i am getting the message its the environment. so now the home environment is crucial.

    I have been with my wife 22 years, now the last 2 years with colorectal have been an extra challenge for her. for us all in different.

    the advice i have to leave her for even 6 months to convalese and cope with irenoteacan hard core is stressful in itself.

    in my heart i cannot leave her or the kids at this stage of my illness or my life. i don't want to exist in a ground floor unit on my own. to lonely, but yes some pluses.

    tonight was the last day of the school term, the kids principle took the kids home. she stayed and cleaned out the kids room to 8pm. my son has a bed to sleep for the first time in 6 months. the kids helped the principle, who is gifted and respected by my wife. all the bags of rubbish were removed after serious protests by my wife. if i had done this I would have been assulted by her, we are not allowed to throw anything away. life with a wife with ocd hoarding has its challenges, no offense but i find stage 4 easier to deal with at an emotional level anyway.

    what i am sharing is a reflection on the backdrop that our cancer has on our families, this is just my story. so my walking and holidays are a form of escape from a difficult domestic environment. the kitchen is my battleground, i lost the war in the house along time ago, but i control the kitchen and bathroom.

    the big issues of my wife and kids future with her illness and its classed as an illness, well is uncertain, like all our futures. in many ways i am proud of how my wife and kids are going, despite the challenges around us. yes i have questioned the efforts i have put into integrative and functional medicine, but not in a negative way, just in a constructive way given the need i see in my family.

    I took the kids out to thank them working with the principle between 4 and 8pm, my wife came as well but did not talk, she was really down. her words were "she was rape", not by me, but tonight by the principle. i however was really glad that my little 6 year old boy has a clean room and asleep in his bed, that all the bags of rubbish from the kids room have been removed into the principles car and taken away. you see if they are put outside, my wife would be going through them now and bringing back most of the "rubbish" because to her these things are precious memories not rubbish.

    just another day in the colorectal journey, my journey. the 1% mortality from the op is a wakeup. my asking for help, from anyone around me reflects the knowledge that i got an exciting challenge before me, but i will shoot for the 50% curative intentive op. they are nice numbers, and my alt therapies need some help.

    doing all the hipec workup scans in 6 hours, i picked up my mri primostist liver scans this arvo. all the info is being presented at the radiological review meeting monday. i hope and pray i get on the list. i want this operation, but only if they ( the doctors ) support me for it.

    yes i am going to sacrifice all my health on this very very big operation. I have many pluses, ironically my wife and kids are a big plus, the nurse/housekeeper who will be my "alice" from the brady bunch, and great health going into the theatre. its still a 4 week lead time likely 6 weeks, its also

    if the home is not suitable for my convalesence then i have private health insurance and i will get an option close by. hopefully my wife and all the mum's from the school will have the house at a level thats healthy for me to comeback to. thats likely 10 weeks down the track and time will tell as craig says.

    I went out and purchased 4 more ukrain viles, adding them to my vit c bag tomorrow. going to get the nurse to admister them for me, i will take them to the hospital and see if i can get them to slip them into a drip. google ukrain and surgery and cancer and read. its got some supportitive methods of action, i goto stop the seeds.

    I also saw alt doc 3 my chelation expert, he has never heard of antabuse to chelate platinum. so i am using this based on alt doc 5 out of denmark and no local support. alt doc 3 just smiled and shook my hand. he said you are doing it all and your marker is still rising. the good news is alt doc 3 is a far infared sauna junkie, he smiled and nodded that an hour at 50 minutes twice a day should get the metals moving.

    the stategy issue is now the sauna also contributes to weightloss as does the catabolic nature of our cancer. so it comes back to diet again, and ensuring ample calories, every meal with enymes to ensure muscle gain. especially given i won't be fed for 2 to 3 weeks post hipec op. its into the vein for dinner for that time frame. oh yum. glad i went 2 weeks no food from the low anterior resection 2 years ago, so i know the score.

    i am still chelating like crazy, taking my supplements and juices. I figured I wanted to present the full picture here so the alternative therapies have a backdrop. you see all natural healing approaches talk about emotional healing. I have made a pretty good effort at the alternatives certainly given my resources and environment. I could have done a far better job in a more peaceful supportive home, but the reality is we implement these therapies in the real world, with real budgets and into real families.

    I hope the scans tomorrow go well, i hope I get onto the hipec list, I am ready and willing to go at the drop of a hat, so who knows when. they have two patients preped for each surgery window, because after they open you up and do your tumour score, saddly they just close you back up and say no go. that why they have two patients on the burner. I do count myself blessed with our hospital system, its only 5 minutes to the kids school.

    how lucky am i to have the best hipec surgeon in australia operating out of my major local hospital.

    I also popped in this afternoon and gave onc 1 receceptionist a hug, we actually both cried. i explained the stats, she said onc 1 has not dumped you, just that you needed to see onc 5 who ordered the pet. now onc 3 is the hipec onc. are you getting confused well i am. but the time and effort in being real with all the people around me is helping. now alison is still the best receptionist in the world. I asked her for a few kilograms as she has been on a weightloss program. we just laughed because now i am on the weight gain program. she would have lent me a few kilograms if she could.

    having caring doctors and friends makes this journey a positive experience. that includes all of you as well.

    hugs,
    Pete

    ps my wife actually googled me herself, she read all your kind comments and suggestions. she was smiling when she told me this.
    PPs tomorrow is a big day, its actually today. so i got to go to sleep.
    ppps getting the nurse house keeper on board is essential to removing the strain from my wife, as all the help i provide soon will stop. it will also give the kids some practical domestic support. school holidays started today and it should be alot of fun.

    Hoarder House(s)
    I agree with you, Pete...that would be a difficult environment to live in, much less try to heal in. I've seen some of the shows on TV and I understand all of the feelings and emotions that you are emoting today.

    It's truly tragic when things overrun your life to that degree...

    And it's a shame that the illness bled over into your childrens's lives and forced them out of their beds due to compulsive disorders like that. I've seen it on tv just like you described...it's unbelievable.

    We're busy clearing out my dad's hoarder house and have already thrown out close to 200 bags of trash...and there's so much more to go through and dispose of...as you say, mostly rubbish and unusable, very little of any value, intrinsic or otherwise.

    And my mom is a compulsive hoarder...and her house used to drive me out of there so fast....just stuff stacked everywhere, in every corner and crevice...etc. etc.

    Fortunately, I did not get that gene...when it's time for something to go, it's time.

    On another note...

    I told you that "weight" was not necessarily a bad thing not too long ago...there was a study that said overweight folks actually fared better than thinner folks with cancer, especially when nutrition became an issue...more reserves to draw from.

    My corpulent **** is doing fine over 8-years later...gotta' be some truth there...

    So, bulk up...if you were in Texas, we'd start you out on chicken fried steak with mashed 'taters:) ...with a side of organic green peas, and a hot, buttered roll, with some sweet tea...LOL! And for dessert, maybe a slice of southern pecan pie:) Or some Blue Bell ice cream with a coca cola or A&W poured over the top of it...to convert it to a float:)

    Next day, we'd do some southern bbq...brisket sandwiches with some tasty sauce...some okra...and a helping of bananna pudding...ummm:)

    We'll get something stickin' to those ribs:)

    Anyway...

    You know, it's hard, Pete...any way you cut it...cancer is not easy. I've tried to be your big brother and keep you in between the white lines and try and explain the things I've seen with the hopes that you would understand what I was trying to tell you one day.

    I've realized all along that much like a thoroughbred, you and all of us "Must Run Our Own Race."

    And I've patiently waited for certain conclusions to settle in and come to light for you...I've found it is always hard to understand another's perspective, until you find yourself smack dab in the middle where they were - or are.

    "Time", Pete...always it is time..."Time is the Fire in Which We Burn..."

    Time is the great equalizer...Time knows all...Time tells all...and Time decides all.

    That's never gonna' change...ever...

    I hope you get more time...one of my hopes is that one day, you will look up to the sky and think to yourself..."Sundance was really just trying to help me...I didn't understand then what he was telling me, but he really wasn't a bad bloke after all..."

    And that's true, Pete...the seeds of personal growth are planted in the present - with the hopes that they take root and blossom in the future...your seeds may have just been planted with this post.

    Patiently standing by...good luck, Pete.

    -Craig
  • Kenny H.
    Kenny H. Member Posts: 502 Member
    Sundanceh said:

    Hoarder House(s)
    I agree with you, Pete...that would be a difficult environment to live in, much less try to heal in. I've seen some of the shows on TV and I understand all of the feelings and emotions that you are emoting today.

    It's truly tragic when things overrun your life to that degree...

    And it's a shame that the illness bled over into your childrens's lives and forced them out of their beds due to compulsive disorders like that. I've seen it on tv just like you described...it's unbelievable.

    We're busy clearing out my dad's hoarder house and have already thrown out close to 200 bags of trash...and there's so much more to go through and dispose of...as you say, mostly rubbish and unusable, very little of any value, intrinsic or otherwise.

    And my mom is a compulsive hoarder...and her house used to drive me out of there so fast....just stuff stacked everywhere, in every corner and crevice...etc. etc.

    Fortunately, I did not get that gene...when it's time for something to go, it's time.

    On another note...

    I told you that "weight" was not necessarily a bad thing not too long ago...there was a study that said overweight folks actually fared better than thinner folks with cancer, especially when nutrition became an issue...more reserves to draw from.

    My corpulent **** is doing fine over 8-years later...gotta' be some truth there...

    So, bulk up...if you were in Texas, we'd start you out on chicken fried steak with mashed 'taters:) ...with a side of organic green peas, and a hot, buttered roll, with some sweet tea...LOL! And for dessert, maybe a slice of southern pecan pie:) Or some Blue Bell ice cream with a coca cola or A&W poured over the top of it...to convert it to a float:)

    Next day, we'd do some southern bbq...brisket sandwiches with some tasty sauce...some okra...and a helping of bananna pudding...ummm:)

    We'll get something stickin' to those ribs:)

    Anyway...

    You know, it's hard, Pete...any way you cut it...cancer is not easy. I've tried to be your big brother and keep you in between the white lines and try and explain the things I've seen with the hopes that you would understand what I was trying to tell you one day.

    I've realized all along that much like a thoroughbred, you and all of us "Must Run Our Own Race."

    And I've patiently waited for certain conclusions to settle in and come to light for you...I've found it is always hard to understand another's perspective, until you find yourself smack dab in the middle where they were - or are.

    "Time", Pete...always it is time..."Time is the Fire in Which We Burn..."

    Time is the great equalizer...Time knows all...Time tells all...and Time decides all.

    That's never gonna' change...ever...

    I hope you get more time...one of my hopes is that one day, you will look up to the sky and think to yourself..."Sundance was really just trying to help me...I didn't understand then what he was telling me, but he really wasn't a bad bloke after all..."

    And that's true, Pete...the seeds of personal growth are planted in the present - with the hopes that they take root and blossom in the future...your seeds may have just been planted with this post.

    Patiently standing by...good luck, Pete.

    -Craig

    Craig, No meal in Texas is
    Craig, No meal in Texas is complete without the jalapeno on the side.
  • pete43lost_at_sea
    pete43lost_at_sea Member Posts: 3,900 Member
    Sundanceh said:

    Hoarder House(s)
    I agree with you, Pete...that would be a difficult environment to live in, much less try to heal in. I've seen some of the shows on TV and I understand all of the feelings and emotions that you are emoting today.

    It's truly tragic when things overrun your life to that degree...

    And it's a shame that the illness bled over into your childrens's lives and forced them out of their beds due to compulsive disorders like that. I've seen it on tv just like you described...it's unbelievable.

    We're busy clearing out my dad's hoarder house and have already thrown out close to 200 bags of trash...and there's so much more to go through and dispose of...as you say, mostly rubbish and unusable, very little of any value, intrinsic or otherwise.

    And my mom is a compulsive hoarder...and her house used to drive me out of there so fast....just stuff stacked everywhere, in every corner and crevice...etc. etc.

    Fortunately, I did not get that gene...when it's time for something to go, it's time.

    On another note...

    I told you that "weight" was not necessarily a bad thing not too long ago...there was a study that said overweight folks actually fared better than thinner folks with cancer, especially when nutrition became an issue...more reserves to draw from.

    My corpulent **** is doing fine over 8-years later...gotta' be some truth there...

    So, bulk up...if you were in Texas, we'd start you out on chicken fried steak with mashed 'taters:) ...with a side of organic green peas, and a hot, buttered roll, with some sweet tea...LOL! And for dessert, maybe a slice of southern pecan pie:) Or some Blue Bell ice cream with a coca cola or A&W poured over the top of it...to convert it to a float:)

    Next day, we'd do some southern bbq...brisket sandwiches with some tasty sauce...some okra...and a helping of bananna pudding...ummm:)

    We'll get something stickin' to those ribs:)

    Anyway...

    You know, it's hard, Pete...any way you cut it...cancer is not easy. I've tried to be your big brother and keep you in between the white lines and try and explain the things I've seen with the hopes that you would understand what I was trying to tell you one day.

    I've realized all along that much like a thoroughbred, you and all of us "Must Run Our Own Race."

    And I've patiently waited for certain conclusions to settle in and come to light for you...I've found it is always hard to understand another's perspective, until you find yourself smack dab in the middle where they were - or are.

    "Time", Pete...always it is time..."Time is the Fire in Which We Burn..."

    Time is the great equalizer...Time knows all...Time tells all...and Time decides all.

    That's never gonna' change...ever...

    I hope you get more time...one of my hopes is that one day, you will look up to the sky and think to yourself..."Sundance was really just trying to help me...I didn't understand then what he was telling me, but he really wasn't a bad bloke after all..."

    And that's true, Pete...the seeds of personal growth are planted in the present - with the hopes that they take root and blossom in the future...your seeds may have just been planted with this post.

    Patiently standing by...good luck, Pete.

    -Craig

    thanks craig
    I love ya too big brother! just send me a few kilograms for a few months.
    that slow rising cea over 11 months did take its toll in many ways.

    what you said about weight, well it was in my mind today as i was at my onc's office, she was telling me to stop the vegan, to keep the kilos on.

    As you said we all take time to learn, hopefully by our sharing and caring we can speed up the learning cycle so we get better results as a community. thats at the heart of all my alternative posts, the reality of our crc's persistent nature is frustrating but we have to be cool in the face of adversity.

    sorry to here that hoarding has touched your life, the principle is from our local catholic school, while I was helping her, we discussed the poverty of the poor overseas and the irony the some in the rich western world are drowning in garbage.

    life is magic despite its challenges, sometimes I loose sight of it, but not for long and not when we have so much support here. i have always known you were there, my friend. I have thought of your challenges this week while i have been racing between doctors and hospitals.

    I never thought you were a bad bloke, ok we have differences of opinion, who doesn't. but what unites us, is far greater than our differences. thats true of all of us here.

    I just pray i wakeup tomorrow, and have sweet dreams tonight. ok getting on the hipec list would be a nice birthday present, i did not get much. its up to the doctors now, i have done my bit.

    I loved the time stuff, its the moments that count, there goes another one. precious like a drop of water in the ocean or a tear in the rain.

    be well my friend!

    hugs,
    Pete

    ps i called my wifes old shrink today, she also said get of the home, when we talked about the kids, she said the hoarding is not genetic, that was a relief. she actually said arguing is what harms kids the most. so i take some solace in the fact the my peaceful acceptance of my wife's illness, like my own has had the kids best interests at heart.

    pps and yes giving my wife the business for these last years was well an extra challenge that she could not cope with. i could have been more assertive and just sold our business when i said thats what i wanted to do on 21nov11 when the cea started to rise. but my wife insisted on keeping it. as our stresses increased with my illness, and the business so did the hoarding.

    ppps as the house is being cleaned out hallway by hallway, room by room. i imagine so to is my cancer. my life revolves around my family, leaving them to heal is a question i defer, i hope the house is suitable for me post op. sadly most of the junk is ground floor, where i need to live post op.
  • janderson1964
    janderson1964 Member Posts: 2,215 Member

    thanks craig
    I love ya too big brother! just send me a few kilograms for a few months.
    that slow rising cea over 11 months did take its toll in many ways.

    what you said about weight, well it was in my mind today as i was at my onc's office, she was telling me to stop the vegan, to keep the kilos on.

    As you said we all take time to learn, hopefully by our sharing and caring we can speed up the learning cycle so we get better results as a community. thats at the heart of all my alternative posts, the reality of our crc's persistent nature is frustrating but we have to be cool in the face of adversity.

    sorry to here that hoarding has touched your life, the principle is from our local catholic school, while I was helping her, we discussed the poverty of the poor overseas and the irony the some in the rich western world are drowning in garbage.

    life is magic despite its challenges, sometimes I loose sight of it, but not for long and not when we have so much support here. i have always known you were there, my friend. I have thought of your challenges this week while i have been racing between doctors and hospitals.

    I never thought you were a bad bloke, ok we have differences of opinion, who doesn't. but what unites us, is far greater than our differences. thats true of all of us here.

    I just pray i wakeup tomorrow, and have sweet dreams tonight. ok getting on the hipec list would be a nice birthday present, i did not get much. its up to the doctors now, i have done my bit.

    I loved the time stuff, its the moments that count, there goes another one. precious like a drop of water in the ocean or a tear in the rain.

    be well my friend!

    hugs,
    Pete

    ps i called my wifes old shrink today, she also said get of the home, when we talked about the kids, she said the hoarding is not genetic, that was a relief. she actually said arguing is what harms kids the most. so i take some solace in the fact the my peaceful acceptance of my wife's illness, like my own has had the kids best interests at heart.

    pps and yes giving my wife the business for these last years was well an extra challenge that she could not cope with. i could have been more assertive and just sold our business when i said thats what i wanted to do on 21nov11 when the cea started to rise. but my wife insisted on keeping it. as our stresses increased with my illness, and the business so did the hoarding.

    ppps as the house is being cleaned out hallway by hallway, room by room. i imagine so to is my cancer. my life revolves around my family, leaving them to heal is a question i defer, i hope the house is suitable for me post op. sadly most of the junk is ground floor, where i need to live post op.

    Pete i am sorry that i
    Pete i am sorry that i havent been supporting you through your recurrence. I stayed away from the forum for selfish reasons. All the bad news was really effecting me. Imagine my shock when i came back to the forum and heard about you. I was devastated. I felt sick to my stomach for over a day after that news. Anyway i am here for you now. You are in my prayers everyday. You will win this next battle because you are fighter and very passionate about it. Keep doing what you are doing.
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    Kenny H. said:

    Craig, No meal in Texas is
    Craig, No meal in Texas is complete without the jalapeno on the side.

    LOL!
    You're so right, Kenny....even grilled:)

    From NTX to STX!

    -c
  • lauragb
    lauragb Member Posts: 370 Member
    Pete, Know that I am sending
    Pete, Know that I am sending light and love your way. I am sorry for what you and your family are going through. It is hard to see the effects on family which we can't control, working so hard to keep our own selves together.

    About weight, I am skinny and I found it to be a problem during my treatment. At one point, even knowing what I've read about sugar, I went on an ice cream binge, eating some every day until I had gained 12 lbs. The smoothies just didn't get it. Anyway, I'm just mentioning it as a way to gain that worked for me, even though I know many don't recommend it. I want you to get heftier and get that surgery!

    Keeping you in my woods meditations.
    Laura
  • Cathleen Mary
    Cathleen Mary Member Posts: 827 Member
    lauragb said:

    Pete, Know that I am sending
    Pete, Know that I am sending light and love your way. I am sorry for what you and your family are going through. It is hard to see the effects on family which we can't control, working so hard to keep our own selves together.

    About weight, I am skinny and I found it to be a problem during my treatment. At one point, even knowing what I've read about sugar, I went on an ice cream binge, eating some every day until I had gained 12 lbs. The smoothies just didn't get it. Anyway, I'm just mentioning it as a way to gain that worked for me, even though I know many don't recommend it. I want you to get heftier and get that surgery!

    Keeping you in my woods meditations.
    Laura

    Pete

    So sorry for all that you are going through. I am praying that you are accepted for HIPEC. Praying for your family, too.

    Cathleen Mary
  • janie1
    janie1 Member Posts: 753 Member

    Pete

    So sorry for all that you are going through. I am praying that you are accepted for HIPEC. Praying for your family, too.

    Cathleen Mary

    Praying for you, Pete, that
    Praying for you, Pete, that you are able to have surgery and that the path smooths out. The uncertainties are the worse....hope you will get plenty of love from your community and things get easier and calm all around you.
  • pete43lost_at_sea
    pete43lost_at_sea Member Posts: 3,900 Member
    thanks for the prayers
    I am praying also for me, for us all
    I had an anguo CT at the hospital all day.
    I will know in a few days.
    I have my hopes on surgery as well as my alternatives.
    Hugs,
    Pete
  • ron50
    ron50 Member Posts: 1,723 Member

    thanks for the prayers
    I am praying also for me, for us all
    I had an anguo CT at the hospital all day.
    I will know in a few days.
    I have my hopes on surgery as well as my alternatives.
    Hugs,
    Pete

    Good luck mate
    Hugs To you and the family,Ron.