Pathology Report - Deciding on Chemo or No Chemo
Comments
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Phil64Phil64 said:Dear So Worried...
sorry you have had to come to this site for support -- I really wish no one would have to deal with any cancer.
I am stage 4 colorectal cancer. I have had a colon resection and three weeks later a lung resection. I'm now going through chemo (FolFox). I have completed treatment 5 of 12 treatments total.
Also, I'm managing to work through the treatments, but I've been "out of work" for a couple days per treatment and I pretty much lose a weekend every other week (sleeping and chemo hangover).
Chemo, for me, has disrupted some things but not completely. So far I'm getting through it.
My doctor basically explained that I had a 70% chance of a recurrence without chemo and about a 50% chance of recurrecne with chemo. I'm also not naive to think that these numbers are exact -- they are simply his best estimates/guesses given his knowledge of studies and reports...
Anyway, we did decide to throw the dice and hope the chemo kicks the odds in my favor.
But I have to admit that with each treatment I wonder if the pain (side effects) of chemo are worth it... Then again, I remind myself that I've thrown the dice and I simply need to endure this stuff and trust in God.
Good luck with the decision!
Keep us posted.
Thank you for the welcome. I wish none of us had to be here either. I never knew there was even such a place until a month and two ago. I wish you a lot of good luck on your chemo. I hope you do very well and get through it with no problems.
Do you get yours hooked up on Wed and then unhooked on Fri? I know some people do this so they can rest on the weekend and try to work on Monday. Do you feel really good on your week off, or still kind of icky?
I just wondered as I am trying to find out the most information I can. (incase he does chemo)
Thank you Phil0 -
I know ginger is good for nausea, but ginger paste? I love pickled ginger. How do yo take ginger paste without burning your face off?jr2012 said:I am in chemo now for Stage III and I am glad I am...
I think most people are afraid of the side effects of chemo... I am on my 5th week right now and I have had no unbearable side effect of xeloda 2000 mg ...
I beat the nausea with ginger paste before taking it
Its better to get rid of all the cancer now when he is young than if it Godforbid comes back and maybe too late...
I kept telling me before starting radiation and chemo that it is nothing but a higher dose of antibiotics and i rather be sick from treatment than sick from the disease itself.
hope u guys make the right choice for his survival and good health.
Hugs
Trisha!0 -
My experience....I get mineSo Worried said:Phil64
Thank you for the welcome. I wish none of us had to be here either. I never knew there was even such a place until a month and two ago. I wish you a lot of good luck on your chemo. I hope you do very well and get through it with no problems.
Do you get yours hooked up on Wed and then unhooked on Fri? I know some people do this so they can rest on the weekend and try to work on Monday. Do you feel really good on your week off, or still kind of icky?
I just wondered as I am trying to find out the most information I can. (incase he does chemo)
Thank you Phil
My experience....I get mine hooked up on Tuesdays and disconnected on Thursdays. I usualyy feel fairly tired Thurs evening through Sunday afternoon. By Monday - Day 6 I am almost back to normal. On my week off - for the most part I feel fairly good.
Alex0 -
Ginger paste @ rickmurtaghRickMurtagh said:I know ginger is good for nausea, but ginger paste? I love pickled ginger. How do yo take ginger paste without burning your face off?
Rick -
I used to get it from the chinese dumpling joints - they usually have that ginger paste on their tables and i wud buy $2 worth it per week - a tablespoonful of it was enough and it didnt burn at all -
I was told I could do ginger capsule too but I didnt wanna take any capsule with chemo..0 -
"If you can provide a validJohn23 said:Phil -
I moved my post to my blog section. After seeing the usual debacle
generated whenever an alternative is mentioned, I felt the "blog"
was a better place for my rant.
Phil.... If you can provide a valid source of information that provides
information of any present chemical or radiation treatment that successfully
targets a single cancer cell specifically, while not harming any good cells,
please provide it here?
There are absolutely no claims of "single cell" treatments from any
source I know of, that tells of any successful use of anything like
what you claim is presently being done.
Thanks Phil.
Stay well, you're proof that cancer can be controlled like any
chronic illness.
(I wish my brother-in-law didn't die last week of stage one pancreatic
cancer; perhaps my objectivity regarding "western medicine" would be
better, had he lived).
Best wishes,
John
"If you can provide a valid source of information that provides
information of any present chemical or radiation treatment that successfully
targets a single cancer cell specifically, while not harming any good cells,
please provide it here?" - John23
When we have to take antibiotic, we are killing all good bacteria along with the bad ones. But we get the good ones back with probiotics and time. Without antibiotic, some of the maladies cannot be cured. So do we let ourselves die hoping that our immunity may not protect us later on for something that is in the future or should we not try to fix the current problem in hand even if it kills some good ones in the process....
A big example of staying away from chemo would be Steve Jobs... he had a milder, more treatable form of pancreatic cancer and if he would not have removed himself from conventional therapy which he later came back to, he might have stopped the damage that was done in the time he was only dependent on alt. treatment.
There is no telling how someone's system will react to the meds. But we should not speculate and let go of something that seems to have been working and lead people in wrong direction. If i did not have an onc at home, I would probably be scared already reading the last post about chemo not working, thinking all these weeks I just wasted my time and brought myself more harm.
I am a proponent of alternative therapy but I discussed thoroughly with both my radiation onc about alternative therapy and using ozone and essiac tea etc and the responses they provided to me were acceptable. My rad. onc told me that when he goes to China for seminars, he finds the two rooms for ca patients - the western treatment and then once the patients finish that, they go to the eastern treatment of qi gong, accupuncture etc to build immunity ... I asked him if I should continue ozone water, he said they love ozone but I rather not do anything that may conflict with the treatment. Ozone builds immunity. So I finished chemo on Thurs and started back on it again.
my med onc, when I asked about doing essiac tea while on chemo, told me, she wants to kill all cell from head to toe, and will not want anything to protect any cancer cell - made perfect sense to me.
I dont think they squirm about alt. therapy but they just want to do whats the norm and then use the alt. to maintain the remission. I have an onc at home so I take second opinion for everything and no, staging never changes.0 -
newMaxiecat said:My experience....I get mine
My experience....I get mine hooked up on Tuesdays and disconnected on Thursdays. I usualyy feel fairly tired Thurs evening through Sunday afternoon. By Monday - Day 6 I am almost back to normal. On my week off - for the most part I feel fairly good.
Alex
"If you can provide a
new
"If you can provide a valid source of information that provides
information of any present chemical or radiation treatment that successfully
targets a single cancer cell specifically, while not harming any good cells,
please provide it here?" - John23
When we have to take antibiotic, we are killing all good bacteria along with the bad ones. But we get the good ones back with probiotics and time. Without antibiotic, some of the maladies cannot be cured. So do we let ourselves die hoping that our immunity may not protect us later on for something that is in the future or should we not try to fix the current problem in hand even if it kills some good ones in the process....
A big example of staying away from chemo would be Steve Jobs... he had a milder, more treatable form of pancreatic cancer and if he would not have removed himself from conventional therapy which he later came back to, he might have stopped the damage that was done in the time he was only dependent on alt. treatment.
There is no telling how someone's system will react to the meds. But we should not speculate and let go of something that seems to have been working and lead people in wrong direction. If i did not have an onc at home, I would probably be scared already reading the last post about chemo not working, thinking all these weeks I just wasted my time and brought myself more harm.
I am a proponent of alternative therapy but I discussed thoroughly with both my radiation onc about alternative therapy and using ozone and essiac tea etc and the responses they provided to me were acceptable. My rad. onc told me that when he goes to China for seminars, he finds the two rooms for ca patients - the western treatment and then once the patients finish that, they go to the eastern treatment of qi gong, accupuncture etc to build immunity ... I asked him if I should continue ozone water, he said they love ozone but I rather not do anything that may conflict with the treatment. Ozone builds immunity. So I finished chemo on Thurs and started back on it again.
my med onc, when I asked about doing essiac tea while on chemo, told me, she wants to kill all cell from head to toe, and will not want anything to protect any cancer cell - made perfect sense to me.
I dont think they squirm about alt. therapy but they just want to do whats the norm and then use the alt. to maintain the remission. I have an onc at home so I take second opinion for everything and no, staging never changes.0 -
If I were...
If I were your husband, I would not take chemo.
I am from the uterine cancer board.
I had 6 months of chemo, which I do not regret.
However, your husband cancer is in early stage.
I would change my life style completely, which I have done myself, and become a vegan.
I juice and eat vegetable and fruits. I get proteins from legumes and nuts.
I will pray for you and family to have a clear mind and make the best decision.
God bless you all!0 -
Back from 2nd Opinion Appt....Fayard said:If I were...
If I were your husband, I would not take chemo.
I am from the uterine cancer board.
I had 6 months of chemo, which I do not regret.
However, your husband cancer is in early stage.
I would change my life style completely, which I have done myself, and become a vegan.
I juice and eat vegetable and fruits. I get proteins from legumes and nuts.
I will pray for you and family to have a clear mind and make the best decision.
God bless you all!
Well, we met with oncologist #2.
When he walked in, he looked at my husband and said : Tell me the whole story.
So my hubby did and got to talk uninterrupted for 10 to 15 minutes.
Then he, himself would talk about his findings.. so he said:
My hubby is stage 2b and not 2a. So, that was kind of expected because the 1st onc said the tumor was clinically a T4..even thought pathologically it was a T3....(good grief) So it went into the serosal (fat)
But MY way of thinking is, if the margins are clear then it's not into the fat anymore. And after the PET scan there is no cancer anywhere else. I wonder if there is a stray cell in the fat???
This is the info he gaves us to help with our decision.
10 people are on a desert island and their cancer is exactly like my hubby's
7 people out of the 10 - their cancer will never come back
3 people out of the 10 - their cancer will come back
If the 3 people who's cancer did come back did chemo supposedly, it will either help or work on 20% of them or 20% of the time and somehow he divided the 20% into 3 people and somehow arrived at 6%.
I do not know if he meant it would help 6% of the people out of the 3 people or if he meant it would have a 6% chance of helping the 3 people. So now I wish I would have taken a tape recorder
I know that there are certain formulas out there ..anyway, he said this was an "absolute" percentage...(i'm pretty sure that is what he said) So somehow I need to find out what the 6% ending result is (I know, I'm really lost) lol
I get soooo stressed out and worried sick at these appts. I must say though, he spent a good hour with us and listened to all of our concerns.
He said that no matter what my hubby decides is not wrong. He said there is no wrong decision and that made me feel good because he was not pushy into him doing the chemo, but when we read between the lines, you could tell that he favored doing the chemo.
He also went on to say what happened to my hubby - this was after my hubby explained everything at the beginning of the appt.
End of 2009 my hubby had an infection in his colon - had a ct scan and colonscopy to verify, they tested for crohns, colitis, cancer. He did not have any of those, but had an infection. Gave him antibiotics and it went away.
The next year, same infection came- took antibiotics, infection went away.
Earlier this year when the infection came back, antibiotics did NOT help and so they did the endoscopy, ultrasound, ct scan, colonoscopy and then YES, it is cancer and the did the colon resection...last month.
So that is the story and the sad thing is, this oncologist told us that all along it was cancer since 2009 and that the infection spewed up because it tried to fight the cancer and that is why when hubby took the antibiotics, the pain went away. And that is what happened the next year too, but then this year, like I said, it did not go away.
So....the first time they missed the cancer (Dec, 2009)!!! He said 5% of the time, they miss the cancer and 95% of the time, it is found via colonscopy.
So....how sad is that? And the funny thing is...well not funny, but sad...my hubby has always and forever said....I had it along and they missed it!!! I said nooo, I do not think so!! He kept saying...I know my own body. On top of all that you would think back then 2.5 yrs ago, they would have wanted to investigate WHERE the infection came from?? But OH NO! They did not. Now Look!!! If they would have, they would have seen it was there to try and fight the cancer.
Strange how we have to go to another oncologist and the surgeon and the first oncologist never ever said, tell us your story and they didn't really care to even find out why or what happened.
Well anyway, I'm really sad and my hubby still has not decided about the chemo. I feel SOOO bad for him
Sorry this is not written in any organized manner, I'm just writing as I am thinking.
Hope you all are doing good and happy Labor Day0 -
Thinking of you as you Start the Cancer JourneySo Worried said:Thank you.
I would love to thank everyone so much for their input.
I did notice the one post who said the cancer was stuck because it went through the wall into the tissue and that it why they are saying it was sticky. Thank you for that, as they seemed to not really want to say that much, but looking at the report, I guess it does say that. (sigh) We are getting a 2nd opinion next week, mostly because of the treatment the onc is choosing, Folfox 6, whereas I think the pill would be fine. (i am hoping anyway)
Ummm, as for one of the other posts, saying stage 2 is no better than stage 3 or 4 -
I find that statement incorrect as stage 2 includes just the spot where the tumor was found.
Stage 3 includes lymph nodes and Stage 4 includes another organ if I remember correctly.
So therefore Stage 2 is not as bad as 3 or 4
I DO know that much.
Actually they say that sometimes stage 3 and 4 could possibly have better outcomes because those people always do chemo whereas stage 2's do not always do chemo, so therefore statistics sometimes show a stage 3 could do better than a 2, because of this.
Anyway, thank you again so much everyone. I just like to get everyones opinion because you are all so educated in all of this. I wish every single one of you super recoveries and I am praying for you all.
So Worried,
You are on the right track. Continue your Research and continue to take it one step at a time. I was told I am in the group to most likely have a recurrance and I could decide to not do chemo. I, of course chose chemo. In looking at final outcomes Stage II T4, having a second opinion is going to be helpful. Chemo is chemo, not a walk in the park as others shared, but doable. Six months of chemo with a watchful eye to avoid the "oxy" effects is doable. The surgeon sounds like he is telling you and your husband that chemo is recommended because of the T4???? The 2nd opinion will be helpful and now with your research you will be able to ask the needed questions. The 2nd opinion could clarify the T4 and the need for chemo. We are here for you and your husband.
NB0 -
Take a deep breathSo Worried said:Back from 2nd Opinion Appt....
Well, we met with oncologist #2.
When he walked in, he looked at my husband and said : Tell me the whole story.
So my hubby did and got to talk uninterrupted for 10 to 15 minutes.
Then he, himself would talk about his findings.. so he said:
My hubby is stage 2b and not 2a. So, that was kind of expected because the 1st onc said the tumor was clinically a T4..even thought pathologically it was a T3....(good grief) So it went into the serosal (fat)
But MY way of thinking is, if the margins are clear then it's not into the fat anymore. And after the PET scan there is no cancer anywhere else. I wonder if there is a stray cell in the fat???
This is the info he gaves us to help with our decision.
10 people are on a desert island and their cancer is exactly like my hubby's
7 people out of the 10 - their cancer will never come back
3 people out of the 10 - their cancer will come back
If the 3 people who's cancer did come back did chemo supposedly, it will either help or work on 20% of them or 20% of the time and somehow he divided the 20% into 3 people and somehow arrived at 6%.
I do not know if he meant it would help 6% of the people out of the 3 people or if he meant it would have a 6% chance of helping the 3 people. So now I wish I would have taken a tape recorder I know that there are certain formulas out there ..anyway, he said this was an "absolute" percentage...(i'm pretty sure that is what he said) So somehow I need to find out what the 6% ending result is (I know, I'm really lost) lol
I get soooo stressed out and worried sick at these appts. I must say though, he spent a good hour with us and listened to all of our concerns.
He said that no matter what my hubby decides is not wrong. He said there is no wrong decision and that made me feel good because he was not pushy into him doing the chemo, but when we read between the lines, you could tell that he favored doing the chemo.
He also went on to say what happened to my hubby - this was after my hubby explained everything at the beginning of the appt.
End of 2009 my hubby had an infection in his colon - had a ct scan and colonscopy to verify, they tested for crohns, colitis, cancer. He did not have any of those, but had an infection. Gave him antibiotics and it went away.
The next year, same infection came- took antibiotics, infection went away.
Earlier this year when the infection came back, antibiotics did NOT help and so they did the endoscopy, ultrasound, ct scan, colonoscopy and then YES, it is cancer and the did the colon resection...last month.
So that is the story and the sad thing is, this oncologist told us that all along it was cancer since 2009 and that the infection spewed up because it tried to fight the cancer and that is why when hubby took the antibiotics, the pain went away. And that is what happened the next year too, but then this year, like I said, it did not go away.
So....the first time they missed the cancer (Dec, 2009)!!! He said 5% of the time, they miss the cancer and 95% of the time, it is found via colonscopy.
So....how sad is that? And the funny thing is...well not funny, but sad...my hubby has always and forever said....I had it along and they missed it!!! I said nooo, I do not think so!! He kept saying...I know my own body. On top of all that you would think back then 2.5 yrs ago, they would have wanted to investigate WHERE the infection came from?? But OH NO! They did not. Now Look!!! If they would have, they would have seen it was there to try and fight the cancer.
Strange how we have to go to another oncologist and the surgeon and the first oncologist never ever said, tell us your story and they didn't really care to even find out why or what happened.
Well anyway, I'm really sad and my hubby still has not decided about the chemo. I feel SOOO bad for him
Sorry this is not written in any organized manner, I'm just writing as I am thinking.
Hope you all are doing good and happy Labor Day
Please do not waste any of your emotions looking backward or trying to cast blame on what might have been a missed diagnosis. You are here now and it will simply just eat at your heart. You need your strength and energy here in the present.
Regarding what the second oncologist said about former doctors missing your husband's initial diagnosis ... it really is just impossible to know this. I am not sure it is helpful for a doctor to diagnose in retrospect without ever treating your husband at that time. The fact is, cancer is often not easily diagnosed unless there is a mass that can be detected in a CT/PET scan, an elevated CEA blood test, or is visually confirmed by a colonoscopy biopsy.
You are both understandably very sensitive and your concern and fears will make you try to identify an enemy ... in my opinion, it is not the former doctors and it is not chemotherapy, it is the cancer. You will need both your strength and courage to move forward now, not look backward in blame.
Regarding doing chemotherapy at this point ... you have the same two choices everyone does.
Your husband can be treated with the suggested chemotherapy as an added assurance that if the cancer cells that cannot possibly be detected at this point, but may be already within his system, are destroyed. There can be side effects that are unpleasant both during treatment and after. It may save his life and it may not.
or
Your husband can refuse the chemotherapy and take the chance that there are no cancer cells circulating in his system now even though clear margins were obtained in surgery. He could live cancer-free for the rest of his life and never have the unpleasant treatments. He could use the opportunity instead to strengthen his body and his immune system and change his life style to a focus on health. He could make this decision and he may be one of the lucky ones.
It is such a personal decision and there is no right or wrong decision, but one must be sure enough of whatever decision you choose to live with the potential consequences.
My husband was diagnosed stage one and was scheduled for colon resection in 2009. I sent his pathology slides all over the country seeking a colorectal surgeon that would say maybe a less invasive surgery could be tried. We finally found one and travelled across country so that instead of a colon resection, a transanal excision could be done. Clear margins were obtained and no cancer found in the immediate lymph nodes during this surgery. Afterward, we again bucked the advice we were given for follow-up radiation/chemo and chose instead to have him under surveillance with CEA testing and CT scans.
One year later, his CEA rose suddenly and a PET scan revealed that his cancer had returned to the original site and had also simultaneously spread to his liver and lungs -- he had gone from Stage One to Stage Four in twelve months. At this point, my husband's cancers are inoperable. He has made the decision to treat his cancers with chemotherapy and hold the beast at bay for as long as possible.
Each choice we made freely. We gambled and it did not work in our favor. We have not looked back with regret. It would be too easy to thrash about with what if we had done this or that ... the point is, we made our decisions and we felt in control because we made our personal choices. This is ultimately what you will do. Your heart will tell you and if you make your choice with free will and conviction you will be able to live with whatever your decision brings in the future.
Chemotherapy is not easy, but I can tell you that my husband worked consistently during his treatments since January 2010 and has only retired a month ago. These treatments can and do wreck havoc on the body and they also can prolong life. Each individual must determine the quantity versus quality life issues at each step of treatment.
I wish you both the very best. I read your pain and fear in your posts. Try to not delve in the past, forget about blaming previous doctors or second-guessing past diagnoses. You are here now and you have some choices to make together. Ultimately, your husband will know in his heart what he wants to do. You can read or be told all the statistics and percentages in the world but, each individual is different.
Take a deep breath. You are both alive and it is quite likely that you can love each other for many, many years to come.
Best to you,
Cynthia0 -
Cynthia,devotion10 said:Take a deep breath
Please do not waste any of your emotions looking backward or trying to cast blame on what might have been a missed diagnosis. You are here now and it will simply just eat at your heart. You need your strength and energy here in the present.
Regarding what the second oncologist said about former doctors missing your husband's initial diagnosis ... it really is just impossible to know this. I am not sure it is helpful for a doctor to diagnose in retrospect without ever treating your husband at that time. The fact is, cancer is often not easily diagnosed unless there is a mass that can be detected in a CT/PET scan, an elevated CEA blood test, or is visually confirmed by a colonoscopy biopsy.
You are both understandably very sensitive and your concern and fears will make you try to identify an enemy ... in my opinion, it is not the former doctors and it is not chemotherapy, it is the cancer. You will need both your strength and courage to move forward now, not look backward in blame.
Regarding doing chemotherapy at this point ... you have the same two choices everyone does.
Your husband can be treated with the suggested chemotherapy as an added assurance that if the cancer cells that cannot possibly be detected at this point, but may be already within his system, are destroyed. There can be side effects that are unpleasant both during treatment and after. It may save his life and it may not.
or
Your husband can refuse the chemotherapy and take the chance that there are no cancer cells circulating in his system now even though clear margins were obtained in surgery. He could live cancer-free for the rest of his life and never have the unpleasant treatments. He could use the opportunity instead to strengthen his body and his immune system and change his life style to a focus on health. He could make this decision and he may be one of the lucky ones.
It is such a personal decision and there is no right or wrong decision, but one must be sure enough of whatever decision you choose to live with the potential consequences.
My husband was diagnosed stage one and was scheduled for colon resection in 2009. I sent his pathology slides all over the country seeking a colorectal surgeon that would say maybe a less invasive surgery could be tried. We finally found one and travelled across country so that instead of a colon resection, a transanal excision could be done. Clear margins were obtained and no cancer found in the immediate lymph nodes during this surgery. Afterward, we again bucked the advice we were given for follow-up radiation/chemo and chose instead to have him under surveillance with CEA testing and CT scans.
One year later, his CEA rose suddenly and a PET scan revealed that his cancer had returned to the original site and had also simultaneously spread to his liver and lungs -- he had gone from Stage One to Stage Four in twelve months. At this point, my husband's cancers are inoperable. He has made the decision to treat his cancers with chemotherapy and hold the beast at bay for as long as possible.
Each choice we made freely. We gambled and it did not work in our favor. We have not looked back with regret. It would be too easy to thrash about with what if we had done this or that ... the point is, we made our decisions and we felt in control because we made our personal choices. This is ultimately what you will do. Your heart will tell you and if you make your choice with free will and conviction you will be able to live with whatever your decision brings in the future.
Chemotherapy is not easy, but I can tell you that my husband worked consistently during his treatments since January 2010 and has only retired a month ago. These treatments can and do wreck havoc on the body and they also can prolong life. Each individual must determine the quantity versus quality life issues at each step of treatment.
I wish you both the very best. I read your pain and fear in your posts. Try to not delve in the past, forget about blaming previous doctors or second-guessing past diagnoses. You are here now and you have some choices to make together. Ultimately, your husband will know in his heart what he wants to do. You can read or be told all the statistics and percentages in the world but, each individual is different.
Take a deep breath. You are both alive and it is quite likely that you can love each other for many, many years to come.
Best to you,
Cynthia
Wow, reading your post just had me with tears streaming down my face. It's the first time I cried in weeks.
You said:
"Please do not waste any of your emotions looking backward or trying to cast blame on what might have been a missed diagnosis. You are here now and it will simply just eat at your heart. You need your strength and energy here in the present."
I know that you are right. It does not do any good at all to look back. You know, I do know that too, so I don't why I keep doing it. I tell my hubby all the time, lets just move forward. Then here I am in a forum moaning and being so sad. I think maybe it's because I am never sad or upset in front of him and I try and keep him positive and upbeat, then when he goes to bed, it's my sad, sad time. It's been my daily and nightly ritual for 7 weeks now.
You also said:
"You are both understandably very sensitive and your concern and fears will make you try to identify an enemy ... in my opinion, it is not the former doctors and it is not chemotherapy, it is the cancer. You will need both your strength and courage to move forward now, not look backward in blame."
You are right, it is the cancer. It is so horrible. I'm so scared. I know deep down inside it's not the Dr's and I know you are supposed to look at the chemo as a life saving medicine, but I think I do look at it as an enemy. So you really gave me something to think about.
I am very sensitive. I have been all my life. I even get sad at certain commercials! I won't even talk about certain movies. I still cry at times about my doggie we had to put down 4 yrs ago. We had her for 17 yrs. I always used to tease and say in my next life I am not going to be such a wimpy type!! And that I would be tough and handle things as they come head on. (my girlfriend is like this) I seriously wish I had that type personality.
I do need some strength and courage to move on. I wonder if I will have enough of either one. I am already feeling all used up and I even quit my job, so I am not working right now. I just try and take care of my hubby and the house. Oh and of course I knew absolutely nothing about colon cancer or any cancer for that matter and had to find out everything on my own about it and so I have been online since June 25th. I found out about all the stages, what them mean, all the treatments, etc... I have found out so much in a couple of the forums I go in. (the Dr's do not tell us much, aside from the last onc). Anyway, I think I have just learned maybe too much information. (if there is such a thing).
I only go to reputable websites though..
As I read down into your post I was totally shocked and saddened about your hubby. I am so sorry!! I would never, ever expect that from a stage 1, but I guess it just does to show what they always say about cancer, that you just never know if it will come back or not. Now that I said that, I realize that is the part I am most scared about. You sound like such a strong person. How do you do it? I know that you look forward, with no blame, and you sound so mature and so strong. I admire you.
I am going to try and take a deep breath like you suggested. Thanks for saying that we are both alive and it is quite likely that we can love each other for many, many years. That really made me feel good.
I am so hoping your hubby takes a turn for the better. I do remember reading that sometimes inoperable can become operable when chemo does it's job. I am so hoping that for you two, so you can also have many, many years.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing. I seriously appreciate it so much.0 -
statsSo Worried said:Cynthia,
Wow, reading your post just had me with tears streaming down my face. It's the first time I cried in weeks.
You said:
"Please do not waste any of your emotions looking backward or trying to cast blame on what might have been a missed diagnosis. You are here now and it will simply just eat at your heart. You need your strength and energy here in the present."
I know that you are right. It does not do any good at all to look back. You know, I do know that too, so I don't why I keep doing it. I tell my hubby all the time, lets just move forward. Then here I am in a forum moaning and being so sad. I think maybe it's because I am never sad or upset in front of him and I try and keep him positive and upbeat, then when he goes to bed, it's my sad, sad time. It's been my daily and nightly ritual for 7 weeks now.
You also said:
"You are both understandably very sensitive and your concern and fears will make you try to identify an enemy ... in my opinion, it is not the former doctors and it is not chemotherapy, it is the cancer. You will need both your strength and courage to move forward now, not look backward in blame."
You are right, it is the cancer. It is so horrible. I'm so scared. I know deep down inside it's not the Dr's and I know you are supposed to look at the chemo as a life saving medicine, but I think I do look at it as an enemy. So you really gave me something to think about.
I am very sensitive. I have been all my life. I even get sad at certain commercials! I won't even talk about certain movies. I still cry at times about my doggie we had to put down 4 yrs ago. We had her for 17 yrs. I always used to tease and say in my next life I am not going to be such a wimpy type!! And that I would be tough and handle things as they come head on. (my girlfriend is like this) I seriously wish I had that type personality.
I do need some strength and courage to move on. I wonder if I will have enough of either one. I am already feeling all used up and I even quit my job, so I am not working right now. I just try and take care of my hubby and the house. Oh and of course I knew absolutely nothing about colon cancer or any cancer for that matter and had to find out everything on my own about it and so I have been online since June 25th. I found out about all the stages, what them mean, all the treatments, etc... I have found out so much in a couple of the forums I go in. (the Dr's do not tell us much, aside from the last onc). Anyway, I think I have just learned maybe too much information. (if there is such a thing).
I only go to reputable websites though..
As I read down into your post I was totally shocked and saddened about your hubby. I am so sorry!! I would never, ever expect that from a stage 1, but I guess it just does to show what they always say about cancer, that you just never know if it will come back or not. Now that I said that, I realize that is the part I am most scared about. You sound like such a strong person. How do you do it? I know that you look forward, with no blame, and you sound so mature and so strong. I admire you.
I am going to try and take a deep breath like you suggested. Thanks for saying that we are both alive and it is quite likely that we can love each other for many, many years. That really made me feel good.
I am so hoping your hubby takes a turn for the better. I do remember reading that sometimes inoperable can become operable when chemo does it's job. I am so hoping that for you two, so you can also have many, many years.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing. I seriously appreciate it so much.
Sounds like you got a helpful second opinion. I think the stats mean that in 30%it comes back and if those 30% had had chemo 20% of them wouldn't have the relapse and that is a total of 6%,of the original group (20% of 30% is 6 ). Not the easiest way to explain it. Perhaps best if you start with a hundred people, the operation cures seventy but thirty will recur. If those thirty have chemo six of them will avoid a recurrence.
That is my guess at what he meant.
Keep looking forward, steve0 -
Stevesteved said:stats
Sounds like you got a helpful second opinion. I think the stats mean that in 30%it comes back and if those 30% had had chemo 20% of them wouldn't have the relapse and that is a total of 6%,of the original group (20% of 30% is 6 ). Not the easiest way to explain it. Perhaps best if you start with a hundred people, the operation cures seventy but thirty will recur. If those thirty have chemo six of them will avoid a recurrence.
That is my guess at what he meant.
Keep looking forward, steve
not stats noooooo, lol, if I followed stats I wouldn't do anything, or even listen to one of my onc who said it will come back, as I'm on the boderline of stage 3/4. so worried hope you and hubby have decided on a plan.0 -
miss blakeSonia32 said:Steve
not stats noooooo, lol, if I followed stats I wouldn't do anything, or even listen to one of my onc who said it will come back, as I'm on the boderline of stage 3/4. so worried hope you and hubby have decided on a plan.
and his sats0 -
Stevedsteved said:stats
Sounds like you got a helpful second opinion. I think the stats mean that in 30%it comes back and if those 30% had had chemo 20% of them wouldn't have the relapse and that is a total of 6%,of the original group (20% of 30% is 6 ). Not the easiest way to explain it. Perhaps best if you start with a hundred people, the operation cures seventy but thirty will recur. If those thirty have chemo six of them will avoid a recurrence.
That is my guess at what he meant.
Keep looking forward, steve
Thanks for that explanation! That sounds about right! After the oncologist explained that, on paper, my hubby looked at him and said "that's not very good" and the oncologist answered "no, it's not", "but it's all we have".
As of today, no, my hubby has not made up his mind. This is just so stressful. I didn't even want to get out of bed this morning. I think once a decision is made (either way), I will feel better. It's just so scary.
I am really so impressed and I admire all of you - you all seem to be so well balanced and upbeat. I wish for every single person here, and not here to beat this!!! My prayers are always with you and I want to say thank you again for all of the GREAT responses. I don't know what I would do without them.0
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