CSN Login
Members Online: 10

You are here

Quality of Life

dmj101's picture
dmj101
Posts: 527
Joined: Nov 2011

I really really hate this term..
It makes me feel like why bother to fight...
It makes me want to write am my will and run to the notary...

How does it make you feel...

When I hear this phrase everything that follows is just BLAH<>BLAH<>Blah..
I hear nothing else..
It makes me feel like I am dieing and while I know that is inevitable for all of us.. this just brings it so much closer to me.

I really wish there was another phrase they could use..
I even told my doctor this phrase is not a good news phrase and I think she tries not to use it too often.. but still she uses it..

Coppercent
Posts: 158
Joined: Jan 2012

I think of quality of life as a good thing. My oncologist spent a great deal of time talking about it on my first visit. His point was that he wants me to control the cancer but he doesn't want me to be cancer free and end up with lasting issues for the rest of my life. He asked me about my job and things I did in my free time. So with my responses, he said he wanted to make sure after treatment I was still able to do those things. And with each treatment we talked about the current side effects so we could adjust the treatment to allow me to have a long term life doing the things I enjoy most. It is a balance between getting rid of the cancer and keeping a good quality of life. I have to live with the decisions so he always spent time discussing this balance so he knew it was something I could live with long term.

Brenda Bricco
Posts: 579
Joined: Aug 2011

I'm with you on that! It's hard to stay positive with words like that. Stay strong and try not to let words bring you down. We are all different, none of us know how many days we have on this earth (exept maybe Danker, he plans on staying here until he is 90 ;)

marbleotis's picture
marbleotis
Posts: 693
Joined: Mar 2012

But "quality of life" aplies to everyone. Us cancer patients might hear it more, but it is all the same. Look around you at some people that live selfish, mean and horrible lives (of their doing). Where is the quality there. Yes we have unique challenges (surgery, chemo, medications, scans, and on and on) but if we take control of all the other time we have and truely enjoy it no matter if we live to 20 or 100 we have had a life full, rich and meaningful. I know as cancer patients we , me included, get caught in all the negatives (because we hear them all the time), but the negative or what if's are just another piece to manage. I am a CC 3B at 49 had the surgery, and on chemo #11 of 12 with no mets. I started with clean scans. I re-scan in 6 weeks and colonoscopy in Jan (at 1 year mark0, then scan every 6 months in the beginning (my CC was "aggressive" so we are taking those extra steps). This is all stuff I am weaving into what the new me needs to look like. This also has helped me immediately reprioritze my life.

Do not let words control you, they are just words that can change in an instant. I have read alot of your posts and they are amazing.

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

"Quality" is what separates our lives from Existence...

Go ahead and get it out, Donna:)

When there is no more quality - there is no more life.

Our jobs here on this earth is to discern the difference between the two worlds, so that we will know what they look like when we see them.

Standing at the 8.2 year mark of the journey, "Quality vs Quantity" is ALL that I'm looking for at this point of the journey. As last year's fight wound down, I was searching for The Path of Acceptance about where I was - and where I might be going.

Now, 15-months post treatment, I'm still looking for Quality in my life minus the cancer. Those reflections can be found on The Sundance Channel:)

Take care!

-Craig

Doc_Hawk's picture
Doc_Hawk
Posts: 685
Joined: Jan 2012

Quality of Life started to be a big issue for me when I had to stop working and go on disability. I pretty much had none, limited to bed most days unable even to get myself into the bathroom. Compound that with a family life that aspired to be dysfunctional and it's no wonder I had no will to live.

Flash forward a few years, a divorce and a lot of diet and exercise and my QoL with Stage IV cancer is much better. I'm sharing bed and shower with my pump right now, but it beats the hell out of spending my days in bed or a wheelchair. Going in for chemo every two weeks is, to me, preferable to the pain it took it get into my wheelchair and having my 15 year old daughter have to help me on the toilet or lying on the shower floor waiting for paramedics to come get me out after a bad fall. QoL is what we make of it not what it makes for us.

here4lfe
Posts: 306
Joined: Jan 2010

Quality of life sounds too subjective to me. Who is to determine that but the person themselves. Not even worth talking about. The new normal is a natural progression of life to me. We all, as we grow older, gain/lose friends, change jobs, and yes deal with health issues need to adjust to the new normal in our lives.

Best.

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4880
Joined: May 2005

It's important (to me) but I can understand some people's dislike of it.
I don't think there are many people who want to live a miserable life just to prevent what everyone eventually faces...

What would you rather they use if you don't mind?
-p

abrub's picture
abrub
Posts: 2044
Joined: Mar 2010

The torture that I went through for my treatments; surgery, different types of chemo, would not have been worth it to me simply to keep me breathing a few months longer. However, I am now painfree, and doing well, enjoying all aspects of my life. If I only had suffering to look forward to, I wouldn't want it.

I know many people want life at any cost. I don't. Life has to have value to me, and that's where quality of life comes in for me.

I hope my drs will be straight with me, should the time come that treatment options/results are limited.

But that's me. We each approach life differently, and that's one of the things that makes living interesting.

Alice

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 3299
Joined: Jan 2010

I beleive there comes a time in our lives when it is an appropirate choice to make. And there is no right or wrong choice. Just what we feel is best for us.

For some, holding on to the very last possible treatment or alternative has been tried and experienced is the only way.

For some, being free of doctor appointments, tests and treatments that are not working to enjoy doing things with family and friends for the last days is best.

For me, I vote for quality, but then of course I have had a big bite of the quantity at age 65. Our personal circumstances and beliefs play a big role in the choice.

If life was 'fair' then we would all get a big portion of both quality and quantity.

It is a choice we may some day be asked to make, but hopefully not before it is time.

Marie who loves kitties

dmj101's picture
dmj101
Posts: 527
Joined: Nov 2011

*

dmj101's picture
dmj101
Posts: 527
Joined: Nov 2011

I think you may have missed my point..
It isn't what it represents that I dislike.. it is just the word and what is has come to mean in our society and to whomit is used..
When used to a caner patient who is in treatment and looking for positive results it leads to believe thay are managing the bad that is to come and mentally that is just heartbreaking. I mean I know you have to take the bad with good.. but the term itself just breaks my high and calm state. It leads me to think of all he bad things. I know reality is necessary to face but come on.. there should be a easier way to come to terms with all this..
The term just turns all my postives into problems and I loose site of what I am doing already that works and start to think I need to manage what's to come as if I am going to be leaving this world sooner than I plan..

Danker I am with you.. based on my family history I was meant to be on the earth till at least 95 till cancer hit me.. but then again my good mother had heart issues and she lived to be 96 so ..

I just don't want to have to plan.. I tell people I don't live with a bucket list as live brings us what we need.. we should plan it .. I guess I am simplist that way.. I don't go looking for life... I always believed it would find me.. though some has past me by.. I still believe the best is yet to come.. we just have to recognize it when it lands.

abrub's picture
abrub
Posts: 2044
Joined: Mar 2010

You're seeing something in the term that I'm not.

I know that we are constantly referring to Quality of Life with my 94 year old mother - we won't let her have unnecessary tests or uncomfortable treatments, because they make no sense. She's lived a good long life, and no longer comprehends the world around her.

I see quality of life as a lifelong consideration, not just one for cancer patients.

So, no, I'm not seeing your point. I don't understand your comment that "they are managing the bad that is to come and mentally that is just heartbreaking." I'm completely missing your point.

Btw, based on my family history, I should be here for a good long time. Mom is 94 1/2; Dad died at 97 1/2. Longevity is in my corner.

Alice

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 3299
Joined: Jan 2010

It sounds as if your personal experience with your doctor has caused this phrase to come up often. There is nothing wrong in telling her that you are expecting to have both.

I take it that you feel that picking quality over quantity means giving up, calling it a day, ending all hope. I am not sure all would agree with you. Some might feel a relief, as they struggle on for their loved ones not themselves.

In the end they are just words. It isn't the quality/quantity that makes the phrase objectionable to some. It is the word "OR".

Tell your doc you want her plan for you to be always the best you can have of quality "AND" quantity. If she doesn't get it, then move on to another who does.

Don't let a little two letter word like "or" put you into a tail spin or lower your determination to live your way.

Marie who loves kitties

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4880
Joined: May 2005

Now I see. I know how you feel about certain words.
I don't care for "cancer survivor" and what's even worse is "cancer victim".
They don't make me feel differently but they don't represent how I feel at all...

I think it's best to take things as they come since that's the way it goes.
Waiting for what may or may not happen might make one miss something.
-p

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

I've always had to go out and find it - and take from it what I needed - at the time that I needed it.

As Phil used to say in the old days - "Tomato, Tamato"

If you don't like the word quality, that's cool.

I believe in Quality vs Quantity....

"Do we measure our lives by the days on the calendar - or do we reach out and grasp the moments along the way with the days we've been afforded?"

-Craig

taraHK
Posts: 1961
Joined: Aug 2003

This one doesn't bother me -- but there are other terms/phrases that do! For example, I have *never* said "I have cancer" (!). I say "I was diagnosed with cancer" (??). I think you are right to tell your doctor that you don't like the phrase -- let us know if you come up with an alternative! Living life fully! Joyfully?

Best,,
Tara

Subscribe to Comments for "Quality of Life"