Worried about my daughter

Double Whammy
Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
Not particularly worried about cancer (endometrial tissue was fine), but it's still girl parts, so I'm going to vent here.

My daughter is 39 and had a uterine ablation on the 6th because of excessive almost daily bleeding. She also has pretty significant cramping and has all the hormonal pms stuff. The hope was that the ablation would take care of the bleeding and then the rest of the stuff wouldn't seem as bad. I packed up and got on the airplane to stay with her after surgery. She was absolutely fine the next day, went to the gym and has been actively exercising since. We had a nice time together. And she may have done too much, but she was told to do whatever she felt like.

Last week (around the 16th) she called upset because she had severe cramping. She figured it was about time for her period and was worried that while the ablation may have taken care of the bleeding, she was still cramping significantly. The pain got worse and she ended up in urgent care Friday evening. They tested for UTI and did a CBC and everything came back fine, so they sent her home on pain meds and an appointment with her gynecologist early this morning.

More tears this morning. She's so frustrated and frightened. The gyn didn't know what was going on, but ordered a CT scan and told her to come back in a week and to keep taking pain meds as needed. Now we're waiting for the CT appointment and she's a wreck (so am I). She's worried about missing work, worried about what might be wrong with her, and hating to be in pain.

I'm telling you, the older I get, the more discouraged I am about all the things that can go wrong with women. It seems like if something doesn't go wrong when you're younger and end up having a hysterectomy for whatever reason, it all just sits there and festers and gets cancer! Grrrrrrr.

Thanks for "listening".

Suzanne
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Comments

  • Chickadee1955
    Chickadee1955 Member Posts: 355 Member
    Suzanne,
    I am so sorry. Its

    Suzanne,

    I am so sorry. Its frustrating and upsetting enough when something happens to one of us, but when it happens to one of our kids, its worse. I'll keep you and your daughter in my prayers. You know that old song from 'Flower Drum Song'--"I Enjoy Being a Girl"? I think it was almost definitely written by a man.

    Hugs and Best Regards,

    Deborah
  • Ro10
    Ro10 Member Posts: 1,561 Member
    Suzanne sorry for your worries
    Hope your daughter gets her CAT scan soon, and it comes back normal. No matter how old our children get to be, we mothers worry about them. Unfortunately we think the worst until we know differently. Sending prayers for both you and your daughter. In peace and caring.
  • nempark
    nempark Member Posts: 681
    Hi Susanne
    First of all please tell your lovely daughter to stop worrying about missing work. My daughter was in pain for a long time and all she worried about was missing work and the truth is they feel bad for you at work when you get sick but after a while they really don't care. My daughter worried how she was going to take care of bills, well she is still paying her bills even though she is out of work. I remember her telling me when she was leaving work early one day to go to the Doctor for adjustments for her back, her lovely boss told her that he didn't think that this will work out much longer.
    When your daughter gets the result of the scan I will tell you in detail about my daughter's illness she is 46 single, no boyfriend and no children (thank God).
    Right now your daughter is doing the right thing. The Ablation she had was just a few weeks ago and maybe and hopefully, she over exhausted herself causing the cramps.
    Oh Boy!!! Do we know what the waiting game is like.I pray to God that this will soon pass and she will start to enjoy good health. You too Susanne do your best to think positive and (I know it is not easy)try not to worry too much. Please keep us informed. Be well my friend. Love June
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    nempark said:

    Hi Susanne
    First of all please tell your lovely daughter to stop worrying about missing work. My daughter was in pain for a long time and all she worried about was missing work and the truth is they feel bad for you at work when you get sick but after a while they really don't care. My daughter worried how she was going to take care of bills, well she is still paying her bills even though she is out of work. I remember her telling me when she was leaving work early one day to go to the Doctor for adjustments for her back, her lovely boss told her that he didn't think that this will work out much longer.
    When your daughter gets the result of the scan I will tell you in detail about my daughter's illness she is 46 single, no boyfriend and no children (thank God).
    Right now your daughter is doing the right thing. The Ablation she had was just a few weeks ago and maybe and hopefully, she over exhausted herself causing the cramps.
    Oh Boy!!! Do we know what the waiting game is like.I pray to God that this will soon pass and she will start to enjoy good health. You too Susanne do your best to think positive and (I know it is not easy)try not to worry too much. Please keep us informed. Be well my friend. Love June

    Kidney stone!
    Daughter ended up in ER last night because she stared bleeding. They did a CT scan. Kidney stone. Don't know what that has to do with any vaginal bleeding, but at least this isn't a result of the ablation gone wrong.

    Thank you for your support. I'll talk to her this morning and see how the night went and get more details. You never stop being a mom.

    Suzanne
  • jazzy1
    jazzy1 Member Posts: 1,379

    Kidney stone!
    Daughter ended up in ER last night because she stared bleeding. They did a CT scan. Kidney stone. Don't know what that has to do with any vaginal bleeding, but at least this isn't a result of the ablation gone wrong.

    Thank you for your support. I'll talk to her this morning and see how the night went and get more details. You never stop being a mom.

    Suzanne

    Suzanne
    Whooooo so happy it's a kidney stone. Never would have thought as you said, be related to vaginal bleeding, as to more reasoning why difficult to diagnose.

    Once a mother always a mother is my motto! Whether they're 6 or 36 yrs we still worry...I do with my daughter at 20 yrs.

    Best to you and your daughter....
    Jan
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    jazzy1 said:

    Suzanne
    Whooooo so happy it's a kidney stone. Never would have thought as you said, be related to vaginal bleeding, as to more reasoning why difficult to diagnose.

    Once a mother always a mother is my motto! Whether they're 6 or 36 yrs we still worry...I do with my daughter at 20 yrs.

    Best to you and your daughter....
    Jan

    The latest
    "They" say the kidney stone is not what's causing the pain. It's teeny and still in the kidney and may never come out and as long as it stays there, there should be no pain. They're thinking it is still pain from the ablation and that maybe she did too much (has been exercising like a maniac). Since they did a CT scan, you know they looked at everything and there is nothing to explain it.

    Back to worrying.

    Suzanne
  • nempark
    nempark Member Posts: 681

    The latest
    "They" say the kidney stone is not what's causing the pain. It's teeny and still in the kidney and may never come out and as long as it stays there, there should be no pain. They're thinking it is still pain from the ablation and that maybe she did too much (has been exercising like a maniac). Since they did a CT scan, you know they looked at everything and there is nothing to explain it.

    Back to worrying.

    Suzanne

    Hi Susanne
    My daughter went to ER with stomach pain and they did a CT Scan and ER docs told me that there were no grounds for my daughter to be admitted because they saw nothing on the CT, fortunately my sister-in-law was there and she asked my daughter if she think she should stay in and get further checks or would she like to go home. My daughter's response was "I feel too sick to go home and I don't want to go home and have to come back" so my sister-in-law told the Docs that she is not going home she is staying and that they should run some more tests.I was ready to take my daughter home because I thought she had a CT what could they have missed. She did stay in and spent a few days----OF COURSE THEY FOUND OUT WHAT THE PROBLEM WAS. Not to scare you, but I would like you to continue pursuing the reason why your daughter is having this problem. I will let you know what the problem is when you are assured that your daughter is okay. Do not waste too much time, make sure she gets a complete blood work-up. I think it is called CBC. LOL to you both and I really do hope this is just over fatigue, at the same time its better to be safe than sorry. June
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    nempark said:

    Hi Susanne
    My daughter went to ER with stomach pain and they did a CT Scan and ER docs told me that there were no grounds for my daughter to be admitted because they saw nothing on the CT, fortunately my sister-in-law was there and she asked my daughter if she think she should stay in and get further checks or would she like to go home. My daughter's response was "I feel too sick to go home and I don't want to go home and have to come back" so my sister-in-law told the Docs that she is not going home she is staying and that they should run some more tests.I was ready to take my daughter home because I thought she had a CT what could they have missed. She did stay in and spent a few days----OF COURSE THEY FOUND OUT WHAT THE PROBLEM WAS. Not to scare you, but I would like you to continue pursuing the reason why your daughter is having this problem. I will let you know what the problem is when you are assured that your daughter is okay. Do not waste too much time, make sure she gets a complete blood work-up. I think it is called CBC. LOL to you both and I really do hope this is just over fatigue, at the same time its better to be safe than sorry. June

    What I have done from 600 miles away
    I think this situation is just crazy! She should be getting better, not worse. She's currently in bed, on oxycodone, and still feeling crampy and sick. She has also been taking Ibuprofen, so not be running a fever may be because of Ibuprofen. There is a reason she's in pain, she should be healed from a normal ablation! I know her stress is adding to the whole situation, but she's stressing for a reason, doggone it!

    I called her husband and let him know I'm really worried (nothing like an interfering MIL). He's a good guy, but we all know men don't get involved much about girl parts beyond the vagina. Anyway, he's trying to remain positive, but will call gyn tomorrow if nothing's better, and be the man in charge. I also emailed the NP in my gyn/oncs office asking for a referral in Las Vegas (that's where my daughter lives, not exactly the epicenter of world reknown medical care). I may or may not hear back from her, but I'm looking for who might know someone she should see. I had my daughter's permission to do this. She typically works in gynecology, but has been pulled in to gyn/onc because of a shortage of physicians. She will know about ablations (I sure don't).

    June, she had a CBC,a urinalysis and a CT scan. I do think, they've done what they're supposed to up to now, but things still aren't better. Does anyone know anything about ablations and complications? I'm beside myself 600 miles away but know if I were there I'd only be in the way and add another layer of things for them to worry about. On the other hand, I may hop in the car tomorrow with the dog and my husband and stay not with them - just to be there.

    And yes, Deborah, whoever wrote "I Enjoy Being a Girl" was definitely a man!
    S
  • nempark
    nempark Member Posts: 681

    What I have done from 600 miles away
    I think this situation is just crazy! She should be getting better, not worse. She's currently in bed, on oxycodone, and still feeling crampy and sick. She has also been taking Ibuprofen, so not be running a fever may be because of Ibuprofen. There is a reason she's in pain, she should be healed from a normal ablation! I know her stress is adding to the whole situation, but she's stressing for a reason, doggone it!

    I called her husband and let him know I'm really worried (nothing like an interfering MIL). He's a good guy, but we all know men don't get involved much about girl parts beyond the vagina. Anyway, he's trying to remain positive, but will call gyn tomorrow if nothing's better, and be the man in charge. I also emailed the NP in my gyn/oncs office asking for a referral in Las Vegas (that's where my daughter lives, not exactly the epicenter of world reknown medical care). I may or may not hear back from her, but I'm looking for who might know someone she should see. I had my daughter's permission to do this. She typically works in gynecology, but has been pulled in to gyn/onc because of a shortage of physicians. She will know about ablations (I sure don't).

    June, she had a CBC,a urinalysis and a CT scan. I do think, they've done what they're supposed to up to now, but things still aren't better. Does anyone know anything about ablations and complications? I'm beside myself 600 miles away but know if I were there I'd only be in the way and add another layer of things for them to worry about. On the other hand, I may hop in the car tomorrow with the dog and my husband and stay not with them - just to be there.

    And yes, Deborah, whoever wrote "I Enjoy Being a Girl" was definitely a man!
    S

    I feel better Susanne
    Okay, I feel better. Then she probably hurt herself by over exercising. By the way, you will not be in her way, she probably would be delighted, both her and her hubby. Just go. I pray that you guys get quick answers and closure. June
  • daisy366
    daisy366 Member Posts: 1,458 Member
    nempark said:

    I feel better Susanne
    Okay, I feel better. Then she probably hurt herself by over exercising. By the way, you will not be in her way, she probably would be delighted, both her and her hubby. Just go. I pray that you guys get quick answers and closure. June

    so sorry
    for both you and your daughter. I hope docs get to the bottom of this soon. I also think that being a "squeaky wheel" is in order here. It's too easy for docs to dismiss things.

    Hugs and prayers, Mary Ann
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    daisy366 said:

    so sorry
    for both you and your daughter. I hope docs get to the bottom of this soon. I also think that being a "squeaky wheel" is in order here. It's too easy for docs to dismiss things.

    Hugs and prayers, Mary Ann

    Last 2 days much better
    She finally saw another gyn in same practice who actually examined her (no one else did) and dilated her cervix (ouch). The theory was that there might be some trapped blood that was not able to pass. That relieved a lot, but not 100%. She has an appointment for an ultrasound Tuesday. Things are definitely better.

    In the meantime, I got a recommendation from my gyn oncology group for a gyn for future care for her. I hope she will look into that. My research into the one who did her surgery was very disappointing - not board certified, just out of residency and a graduate of a Caribbean medical school. Doesn't mean he's not smart, but it doesn't mean he is, either.

    thanks for the support. I think she'll eventually end up with a hysterectomy, and she's ok with that.

    Suzanne
  • debrajo
    debrajo Member Posts: 1,095 Member

    Last 2 days much better
    She finally saw another gyn in same practice who actually examined her (no one else did) and dilated her cervix (ouch). The theory was that there might be some trapped blood that was not able to pass. That relieved a lot, but not 100%. She has an appointment for an ultrasound Tuesday. Things are definitely better.

    In the meantime, I got a recommendation from my gyn oncology group for a gyn for future care for her. I hope she will look into that. My research into the one who did her surgery was very disappointing - not board certified, just out of residency and a graduate of a Caribbean medical school. Doesn't mean he's not smart, but it doesn't mean he is, either.

    thanks for the support. I think she'll eventually end up with a hysterectomy, and she's ok with that.

    Suzanne

    Poor kid! How old is she?
    Poor kid! How old is she? I have been trying to get my daughter-of-the-heart to get a hysterectomy, without success. She has stage 4 "pre-cancer" of the cervix. It is a genetic thing with the women in her family. Dr. has been doing freeze treatments and it keeps comming back. I just want her to do something before the "pre" turns into the real thing! Best wishes for your daughter and you. Best, debrajo
  • marieinlv
    marieinlv Member Posts: 47
    las vegas
    I know what it feels like to be at your wits end! Great Drs are hard to find. I had surgery with an Oncology OBGYN, i stayed with her for awhile, the surgery went great. Later I found another that worked better for me. Dr Camille Faulkner, she is calm, soothing, takes her time, was referred by another ONC OBGYN. I'm very pleased with her. The office is in the Galleria Mall area. We all have our preference, but for me, I can't say enough obout the office staff(AWESOME) or my Dr. I will be thinking of your Daughter untill we hear, she's allright. Marie
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    marieinlv said:

    las vegas
    I know what it feels like to be at your wits end! Great Drs are hard to find. I had surgery with an Oncology OBGYN, i stayed with her for awhile, the surgery went great. Later I found another that worked better for me. Dr Camille Faulkner, she is calm, soothing, takes her time, was referred by another ONC OBGYN. I'm very pleased with her. The office is in the Galleria Mall area. We all have our preference, but for me, I can't say enough obout the office staff(AWESOME) or my Dr. I will be thinking of your Daughter untill we hear, she's allright. Marie

    Marieinlv - of course, Las Vegas!
    thanks so much for the recommendation, Marie. She doesn't need a gyn oncologist (thank God!) but it's still good to know about Dr. Falkner and that might be another place to call for a recommendation for a gyn. My daughter is 39 (almost 40, but it's hard to acknowledge that my youngest is almost 40!) and she does live in Henderson.

    Maybe she simply overdid the exercise thing after her ablation. She felt wonderful and had no restrictions and was told to do whatever she felt like, so she exercised.

    I feel pretty comfortable that she's going to be ok now, but it sure was a helpless feeling from here because whatever was going on for whatever reason was really awful. I bet the ultrasound on Tuesday will be fine and she can move on. It will be interesting to see if this pain is cyclic because if it is, all the ablation did was relieve the bleeding and that's only half of the problem with her. And that will mean she'll need a hysterectomy which of course, I'm just fine with because then I don't have to worry about it just sitting and festering and getting cancer 20 years down the road!

    Thanks everyone.
    Suzanne
  • Fayard
    Fayard Member Posts: 438 Member

    Marieinlv - of course, Las Vegas!
    thanks so much for the recommendation, Marie. She doesn't need a gyn oncologist (thank God!) but it's still good to know about Dr. Falkner and that might be another place to call for a recommendation for a gyn. My daughter is 39 (almost 40, but it's hard to acknowledge that my youngest is almost 40!) and she does live in Henderson.

    Maybe she simply overdid the exercise thing after her ablation. She felt wonderful and had no restrictions and was told to do whatever she felt like, so she exercised.

    I feel pretty comfortable that she's going to be ok now, but it sure was a helpless feeling from here because whatever was going on for whatever reason was really awful. I bet the ultrasound on Tuesday will be fine and she can move on. It will be interesting to see if this pain is cyclic because if it is, all the ablation did was relieve the bleeding and that's only half of the problem with her. And that will mean she'll need a hysterectomy which of course, I'm just fine with because then I don't have to worry about it just sitting and festering and getting cancer 20 years down the road!

    Thanks everyone.
    Suzanne

    Suzanne
    How is your daughter?
    Did the new doctor confirmed the original suspicion (blood that needed to come out)?
    Did she have the ultrasound?

    I hop everething is well!
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    Fayard said:

    Suzanne
    How is your daughter?
    Did the new doctor confirmed the original suspicion (blood that needed to come out)?
    Did she have the ultrasound?

    I hop everething is well!

    She's scheduling a hysterectomy
    Sorry I didn't update everyone. All of my daughter's tests, exams were fine. The ultrasound did show some "fluid" in her uterus - whatever that means. She also has some ovarian cysts (old ones gone). Apparently sometimes ablations make things worse. Well . . . really?

    Anyway, the decision has been made for a hysterectomy and she will be scheduled in about 8 weeks. I think this is a good direction for her. She's 39 and doc wants to leave her ovaries. I'm not sure how I feel about that given my history of breast cancer. I know we don't have to worry about her having uterine cancer with no uterus, but I worry about keeping her ovaries and developing ovarian cancer or taking the ovaries and artifically managing her hormone levels and increasing the risk of breast cancer. Probably, the route she's taking is the safest. I will just worry regardless.

    Thank you for your concern and help.

    Suzanne
  • debrajo
    debrajo Member Posts: 1,095 Member

    She's scheduling a hysterectomy
    Sorry I didn't update everyone. All of my daughter's tests, exams were fine. The ultrasound did show some "fluid" in her uterus - whatever that means. She also has some ovarian cysts (old ones gone). Apparently sometimes ablations make things worse. Well . . . really?

    Anyway, the decision has been made for a hysterectomy and she will be scheduled in about 8 weeks. I think this is a good direction for her. She's 39 and doc wants to leave her ovaries. I'm not sure how I feel about that given my history of breast cancer. I know we don't have to worry about her having uterine cancer with no uterus, but I worry about keeping her ovaries and developing ovarian cancer or taking the ovaries and artifically managing her hormone levels and increasing the risk of breast cancer. Probably, the route she's taking is the safest. I will just worry regardless.

    Thank you for your concern and help.

    Suzanne

    Isn't it possible to take
    Isn't it possible to take out just one ovary and tube? That cuts the ovc, tube cancer in half. My sister-in-law had this done at her hysterectomy and it has worked out great. The one ovary provides all the hormones she needs with half the chance for ovc. Just a thought, best debrajo
  • HellieC
    HellieC Member Posts: 524 Member

    She's scheduling a hysterectomy
    Sorry I didn't update everyone. All of my daughter's tests, exams were fine. The ultrasound did show some "fluid" in her uterus - whatever that means. She also has some ovarian cysts (old ones gone). Apparently sometimes ablations make things worse. Well . . . really?

    Anyway, the decision has been made for a hysterectomy and she will be scheduled in about 8 weeks. I think this is a good direction for her. She's 39 and doc wants to leave her ovaries. I'm not sure how I feel about that given my history of breast cancer. I know we don't have to worry about her having uterine cancer with no uterus, but I worry about keeping her ovaries and developing ovarian cancer or taking the ovaries and artifically managing her hormone levels and increasing the risk of breast cancer. Probably, the route she's taking is the safest. I will just worry regardless.

    Thank you for your concern and help.

    Suzanne

    Glad tests are fine, Suzanne
    I'm so pleased your daughter's tests and exams were fine, Suzanne. It's a difficult call about whether or not to take the ovaries. I was 43 when I had my hyst and my consultant advised me to lose them - for the reasons your mention - and because he said the even if you leave them, a fair percentage will fail over the coming five years (not through cancer - they just stop working). I went on to manage my early menopause with hormones (and look where that got me - it probably "fed" those cancer cells which doing such a good job of hiding that they weren't found!). However, there is no history of breast cancer in my family. As you say, the route she is taking is probably the best given your family history.
    I know there's no point in telling you not to worry - you're a Mum - it goes with the territory! But I hope all goes well for your daughter.
    Kindest wishes
    Helen
  • April
    April Member Posts: 34

    She's scheduling a hysterectomy
    Sorry I didn't update everyone. All of my daughter's tests, exams were fine. The ultrasound did show some "fluid" in her uterus - whatever that means. She also has some ovarian cysts (old ones gone). Apparently sometimes ablations make things worse. Well . . . really?

    Anyway, the decision has been made for a hysterectomy and she will be scheduled in about 8 weeks. I think this is a good direction for her. She's 39 and doc wants to leave her ovaries. I'm not sure how I feel about that given my history of breast cancer. I know we don't have to worry about her having uterine cancer with no uterus, but I worry about keeping her ovaries and developing ovarian cancer or taking the ovaries and artifically managing her hormone levels and increasing the risk of breast cancer. Probably, the route she's taking is the safest. I will just worry regardless.

    Thank you for your concern and help.

    Suzanne

    Will you be going ou to be
    Will you be going ou to be with her during her recovery
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    April said:

    Will you be going ou to be
    Will you be going ou to be with her during her recovery

    The latest
    My poor darling continues to have pain, I continue to receive tearful and emotional phone calls, she misses work some days, and still no hysterectomy date or insurance approval. Thursday she had an appointment with her "old" gyn only to learn she hadn't done her homework and needed to change insurance coverage in order to see him (you know how these things work). Somehow she was able to do that and she felt so good after seeing him. He concurred that there's nothing really wrong with her except "post ablation syndrome", but can do her hysterectomy on the 24th (next Friday). She was elated.

    Then she learned that her change in insurance was to a PPO and yep, you guessed, it - huge out of pocket expense. So she paniced again and Friday she cancelled the surgery for financial reasons. She apparently can change back to her original HMO within 30 days or some such thing and will stay with gyn group who did her ablation. But she still cannot get scheduled for hysterectomy at least until October if she stays with the HMO/first gyn group. I don't know why. This whole thing is just making me flippin' crazy! So she called old gyn office back to say please don't cancel my surgery on the 24th, but the office closed at noon. She's hoping they didn't have time to cancel it yet.

    So - what I think is happening is that she will have the surgery on the 24th with the gynecologist she's most comfortable with and she will stay with the PPO and pay a lot of money. If nothing changes (and it might), I will go to Las Vegas on the 26th to help herd grandkids for a week while she recovers. The surgery will be done laparoscopically so her "down time" will be pretty minimal I hope.

    And - 3 different gyns want her to keep her ovaries so she will.

    Stay tuned, this all can change tomorrow. Will someone please fix our health care in this country so people don't have to deal with all this emotional/financial crap in addition to medical issues?

    Suzanne