Lost husband June 28

HuttonFam
HuttonFam Member Posts: 19
20 months after being diagnosed with EC, my husband, Bernardo Hutton, Sr. lost the war. He had surgery on 11/15/10 to remove the tumor at the GE Junction. The doctors also removed 5 inches of his esophagus and 30% of his stomach. He had chemo and radiation following the McDonald Regimen beginning in January of 2011 and completing April 29, 2011. He went back to work 7/5/11 and was slowly getting better. He was regaining his weight and starting to do the things he loved again. Then in March of 2012, he started having pains in his back, which he attributed to working out. In April of 2012, he thought he had pulled a muscle and was slowly unable to move his right arm. Then, on April 27, 2012, he was admitted to the hospital for what they thought was a blood clot but turned out that the cancer had metasticized to his right axilla. He did 10 rounds of radiation in hopes of shrinking the tumor and he was discharged from the hospital on May 30, 2012. He was on a lot of medication to help relieve the pain (Fentanyl patch, Neurontin, Decadron and Morphine Sulphate) because surgery was not an option, as the tumor was encased around the nerves. He did have stents places in his veins and arteries to keep the blood flow going in his right arm but other than that, the arm was usless.

On June 5, 2012, the oncologist told him that since the cancer spread, it was stage 4 and terminal. His life span was now in terms of months and not years. He was adamant about fighting this disease until the very end and we were in the process of getting him appointments at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota as well as UCSF Comprehensive Cancer Center in San Francisco. He didn't live long enough to get to the appointments. He went down hill pretty fast and we're not sure why. His sisters' seem to think the Fentanyl patch had a lot to do with it but we don't know for sure. It was heartbreaking to watch him go from 6' 4" and 250lbs. in 2010 to probably less than 150lbs. when he died. He was in so much pain but he said he would win this battle as well. He had the mindset that he would win the war but it was not to be.

It was horrific watching him die slowly but we know he is at peace now. We asked people to donate to ACS in his name so that more research may be done to find a cure for this disease so that one day, EC will just be a bad memory.
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Comments

  • stephikindred
    stephikindred Member Posts: 140
    So sorry
    I want to extend my condolences to you and your family for the loss of Bernardo. Thank you for sharing your heart-wrenching story and for asking for donations in his name for research. June was a tough month for us on this board as we lost many to the beast and each loss brings pain to us all.
    Stephanie
  • poosmom
    poosmom Member Posts: 7
    Very sorry
    I'm so sorry. I know from reading your other post he had the arm problem that my daughter has. My sister passed away in March and being with her was very hard. One of the nurses told me it was an honor to be with someone when they die. I like to think that maybe there's some truth in that. My thoughts are with you and your family.
  • paul61
    paul61 Member Posts: 1,391 Member
    My Condolances
    I am so sorry that your husband has passed on. I remember your post when the tumor was first found in his arm. It seems like such a short time ago. You are very kind to think of donations to help the people who are still fighting this disease in your time of grief.

    With my condolences,

    Paul Adams
    Grand Blanc, Michigan
  • JReed
    JReed Member Posts: 428
    Very sorry to read about Bernardo's battle
    I am so sorry to read of Bernardo's battle with EC. When I read of a family who has lost their loved one to this God awful battle, I cannot help but think of the warrior who fought and hope that someday, somehow God will allow them to know that because of their battle - another warrior will win the battle.

    May God surround you each with comfort, peace and strength and may you hold your memories close to your heart in the coming days and weeks.

    Peace be with,
    Judy
  • TerryV
    TerryV Member Posts: 887
    I am SO Sorry for your loss!
    What an incredible attitude your husband had! Bless him for his willingness to fight the battle all the way through. If only positive thinking were all it took, we would all be richer, wouldn't we?

    Bless you for continuing the research so others may not have to suffer the same heartbreak and loss. I know (all too well) there are no words to comfort you. Please know that we are here for you though if we can help.....

    Terry
    PROUD wife to Nick, age 49
    adinocarcinoma T3N1M0 05/19/11
    26 rads & 2 weeks inpatient Cisplatin & 5FU
    THE 09/08/11
    NED until 05/11/12
    EC spread to brain (3 tumors with a mist of mini tumors across the brain) with Leptomenengial disease
    lost battle to FEC 06/19/12
  • oriontj
    oriontj Member Posts: 375
    JReed said:

    Very sorry to read about Bernardo's battle
    I am so sorry to read of Bernardo's battle with EC. When I read of a family who has lost their loved one to this God awful battle, I cannot help but think of the warrior who fought and hope that someday, somehow God will allow them to know that because of their battle - another warrior will win the battle.

    May God surround you each with comfort, peace and strength and may you hold your memories close to your heart in the coming days and weeks.

    Peace be with,
    Judy

    Sympathy for your loss
    This is such an incidious cancer and the victums are such fighters. My heart breaks a little more every time I hear another has passed. My prayers are lifted for you and your family

    jan
  • mmr19
    mmr19 Member Posts: 75
    So sorry
    So very sorry for your heartache and loss.
    Bernardo was a brave man who put up a good fight.
    My deepest sympathies to you and your family. May you find comfort in your memories of better times.

    Marta
  • sandy1943
    sandy1943 Member Posts: 824
    So sorry Your husband has
    So sorry Your husband has lost the battle. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Someday soon I hope we hear that the beast hasn't got a chance of claiming another life.
    Sandra
  • mrsbotch
    mrsbotch Member Posts: 349
    Your husband was a HERO. All
    Your husband was a HERO. All of our men and women who have this vile cancer are Heros.
    I lost my angel on Feb 23, 2011 after a 2 year battle and I still see and feel all ther pain we went thru.

    I am on 2 different sites that have helped me. One is called the Dawns and the other is the Esophageal cancer education foundation led up by a man named Bart.

    If you would like to join either of these please contact me at 706-897-4056 and I will get you in touch with the proper people. You need to be invited by a member to join the dawns.


    Once again I am so very sorry for your loss


    Barbara
  • Donna70
    Donna70 Member Posts: 852 Member
    mrsbotch said:

    Your husband was a HERO. All
    Your husband was a HERO. All of our men and women who have this vile cancer are Heros.
    I lost my angel on Feb 23, 2011 after a 2 year battle and I still see and feel all ther pain we went thru.

    I am on 2 different sites that have helped me. One is called the Dawns and the other is the Esophageal cancer education foundation led up by a man named Bart.

    If you would like to join either of these please contact me at 706-897-4056 and I will get you in touch with the proper people. You need to be invited by a member to join the dawns.


    Once again I am so very sorry for your loss


    Barbara

    so sorry for your loss
    So sorry to hear of your loss and what a battle your husband fought. It saddens me to hear about end stage patients having so much pain. Personally, I do not think the Fentanyl patch did anything but try to alleviate the terrible pain that he was suffering from. I am no medical expert but you want to do your best that the patient doesn't suffer and he was such a fighter. Hope that soon you will remember the good times and not this last part of a life well lived. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
    Donna70
  • mardigras
    mardigras Member Posts: 215 Member
    So very sorry
    I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. Bernardo was very special and a real trooper.
    His bravery in the face of all that he suffered will be remembered and help all the others who are facing this dreadful disease.
    May God comfort and care for you and make a special place for Bernardo. He deserves one.
    Hugs and prayers
    Marci
  • Carol1018
    Carol1018 Member Posts: 6
    So Sorry for Your Loss - New
    I was looking for information on pain meds and came upon your story,the date your husband passed caught my eye.. I was diagnosed with BC in Oct. 2011, I have finished with my chemo and radiation, 2 weeks after my diag My son and daughter in law told me they were expecting, it really lifted my spirits and got me thru my treatment knowing my first Grandchild was coming...He was born June 28th
  • jaycc
    jaycc Member Posts: 122
    I will not surrender - sadness
    Thank you for sharing your very difficult story, my husband also battled EC, in his words "I will not leave the battlefield". My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. Similar, once the cancer got ahead things got worse quickly, and life seemed to move at the rate of 10 years/week and not enough knowledge in the medical world to know how to stop it.
    You are both a very brave couple. I will share a few things phrases that other women have shared with me during this time.The body is just a container, love goes so far beyond it. "Don't be to hard on yourself, take breaks when you need them and a few extras".
    Hang in there, and again thank you for sharing, joining you too on the battle to change the way EC is handled.
  • HuttonFam
    HuttonFam Member Posts: 19
    Carol1018 said:

    So Sorry for Your Loss - New
    I was looking for information on pain meds and came upon your story,the date your husband passed caught my eye.. I was diagnosed with BC in Oct. 2011, I have finished with my chemo and radiation, 2 weeks after my diag My son and daughter in law told me they were expecting, it really lifted my spirits and got me thru my treatment knowing my first Grandchild was coming...He was born June 28th

    Your first grandchild
    First of all, I thank you for your condolences and I pray that you are doing well in your cancer fight. Secondly, congrats on your first grandchild. I tell myself that the best day in one person's life just may well be the worst day in another's but no matter the circumstances, life will move forward. Who knows, maybe your grandchild will be the one to find a cure for all cancers. :) Thanks again for your support and enjoy your grandchild.
  • HuttonFam
    HuttonFam Member Posts: 19
    jaycc said:

    I will not surrender - sadness
    Thank you for sharing your very difficult story, my husband also battled EC, in his words "I will not leave the battlefield". My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. Similar, once the cancer got ahead things got worse quickly, and life seemed to move at the rate of 10 years/week and not enough knowledge in the medical world to know how to stop it.
    You are both a very brave couple. I will share a few things phrases that other women have shared with me during this time.The body is just a container, love goes so far beyond it. "Don't be to hard on yourself, take breaks when you need them and a few extras".
    Hang in there, and again thank you for sharing, joining you too on the battle to change the way EC is handled.

    Thank you for your support
    I know it's been a while since I even logged in but I just wanted to thank you. EC is a beast but hopefully, one day it will be tamed. I'm keeping a positive outlook and a smile on my face even when tears are streaming down my cheeks.
  • HuttonFam
    HuttonFam Member Posts: 19
    mardigras said:

    So very sorry
    I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. Bernardo was very special and a real trooper.
    His bravery in the face of all that he suffered will be remembered and help all the others who are facing this dreadful disease.
    May God comfort and care for you and make a special place for Bernardo. He deserves one.
    Hugs and prayers
    Marci

    Thank you so much
    Thank you, Marci, for your support. I know Bernardo is in a better place and while we miss him a lot, I know his fight was not in vain. Maybe he will inspire others to fight harder or inspire someone who has the abilities to find a cure for EC. Peace and blessings be with you and all of us always.
  • HuttonFam
    HuttonFam Member Posts: 19
    mrsbotch said:

    Your husband was a HERO. All
    Your husband was a HERO. All of our men and women who have this vile cancer are Heros.
    I lost my angel on Feb 23, 2011 after a 2 year battle and I still see and feel all ther pain we went thru.

    I am on 2 different sites that have helped me. One is called the Dawns and the other is the Esophageal cancer education foundation led up by a man named Bart.

    If you would like to join either of these please contact me at 706-897-4056 and I will get you in touch with the proper people. You need to be invited by a member to join the dawns.


    Once again I am so very sorry for your loss


    Barbara

    Thank you so much
    Thank you, Barbara, for your support. I know I haven't logged on in forever but I will keep your number in case I want to joing Dawns.

    I know our angels are by our sides, even though we cannot physically see or touch them anymore. We will meet again where EC has no hold on anyone. Thanks again and peace be with you.
  • HuttonFam
    HuttonFam Member Posts: 19
    Donna70 said:

    so sorry for your loss
    So sorry to hear of your loss and what a battle your husband fought. It saddens me to hear about end stage patients having so much pain. Personally, I do not think the Fentanyl patch did anything but try to alleviate the terrible pain that he was suffering from. I am no medical expert but you want to do your best that the patient doesn't suffer and he was such a fighter. Hope that soon you will remember the good times and not this last part of a life well lived. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
    Donna70

    Thank you Donna70
    I appreciate your support. I am focusing on the good times and keeping a smile on my face. When I hear a song on the radio or go places where we used to go, I smile because I know he's always with me. Thank you for the thoughts and prayers. Maybe one day soon, we'll see a time when EC is just a distant memory.
  • HuttonFam
    HuttonFam Member Posts: 19
    sandy1943 said:

    So sorry Your husband has
    So sorry Your husband has lost the battle. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Someday soon I hope we hear that the beast hasn't got a chance of claiming another life.
    Sandra

    Thank you Sandra
    I'm just logging back in after many months and I just wanted to thank you for your support, thoughts and prayers. It will be a great day when EC has claimed ZERO victims. I hope I'm here to see it but if not, I hope those who benefit from not having to watch their loved on succumb to EC will be truly grateful.
  • HuttonFam
    HuttonFam Member Posts: 19

    So sorry
    I want to extend my condolences to you and your family for the loss of Bernardo. Thank you for sharing your heart-wrenching story and for asking for donations in his name for research. June was a tough month for us on this board as we lost many to the beast and each loss brings pain to us all.
    Stephanie

    Thank you Stephanie
    I appreciate your support. I will continue to do what I can monetarily to help find a cure for EC. It is truly a horrible beast and I look forward to the day when the beast is no more. All of us on this board will rejoice when that happens.