Dealing with a Timeline
Comments
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pondering
Vicki,
I'm reading your post and the replies to your post. And I’m reflecting on my own predicament as well.
The bible verse says “This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”
And I can’t help but think that it is so easy for some people (the young and healthy) to rejoice and be glad in this day. But those of us who are burdened with cancer or other afflictions causing physical and mental pain and anguish – well, it’s a lot harder for us to rejoice and be glad in this day.
And yes this day is a blessing from God. We are not promised ten more years, twenty more years.. Even the young and healthy are not promised this. Death can come like a thief in the night to any of us.
So, even though it is sometimes hard for me to choose to rejoice and be glad; that is the choice I aspire to make every day!
Yes, I want to see my children grow, finish school and college, get married… I want to love and spoil my future grandchildren. And I ask God to grant me these things. And yes, I will seek out second and third opinions and make sure I’m getting the best medical help available; hoping that God will work through my health care providers.
But in the end I don’t really know what the master plan is.
So all I can do is Thank God for the blessing of this day! And in spite of the pain and suffering I may have to endure; I still have the choice!
This IS the day the LORD has made; I WILL rejoice and be glad in it! And I WILL love my children and wife and brothers and sisters and friends!
Love and hugs to you.
Philip0 -
I truly hate it when doctors do this.
If I'm going to keel over in a matter of months, then yes, I would want to know...get my affairs in order and all that. But otherwise, it's better for us to just take it one day at a time, and acknowledge that none of us has an expiration date stamped on his or her forehead. During my last surgery, I worked with a surgeon who had seen a few women with my bizarre tumor type (it's usually uterine, rather than colon), and she said "Wow! I'm not usually sitting here having a conversation about surgery with someone almost three years into this process!". In other words, I should be dead, but here I am...got my first NED scan in March. That could change at any time, of course, but it still goes to show that there is a lot of variation when it comes to the world of averages. There is still reason to have hope. Many hugs coming your way-Ann0 -
PhiPhil64 said:pondering
Vicki,
I'm reading your post and the replies to your post. And I’m reflecting on my own predicament as well.
The bible verse says “This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”
And I can’t help but think that it is so easy for some people (the young and healthy) to rejoice and be glad in this day. But those of us who are burdened with cancer or other afflictions causing physical and mental pain and anguish – well, it’s a lot harder for us to rejoice and be glad in this day.
And yes this day is a blessing from God. We are not promised ten more years, twenty more years.. Even the young and healthy are not promised this. Death can come like a thief in the night to any of us.
So, even though it is sometimes hard for me to choose to rejoice and be glad; that is the choice I aspire to make every day!
Yes, I want to see my children grow, finish school and college, get married… I want to love and spoil my future grandchildren. And I ask God to grant me these things. And yes, I will seek out second and third opinions and make sure I’m getting the best medical help available; hoping that God will work through my health care providers.
But in the end I don’t really know what the master plan is.
So all I can do is Thank God for the blessing of this day! And in spite of the pain and suffering I may have to endure; I still have the choice!
This IS the day the LORD has made; I WILL rejoice and be glad in it! And I WILL love my children and wife and brothers and sisters and friends!
Love and hugs to you.
Philip
About a week and a half after my dx, I'd made a comment to a friend that "it's a great day to be alive." After reflecting for a second, I told her "come January when we're getting two feet of snow an hour, it's going to be a great day to be alive." Two years, one month and three days later, I still say those words at least once a day. On my last day, I will say those words, and you are so right: this is the day the Lord has made.
God Bless
Doc0 -
Man on sanddanker said:oncologist
Don't listen to such nonsense!!The onc. doesn't kkow when you are going to die any more than I do. They make such statments based on previous experience, But you already know we are all unique, So averages don't count. My favoite average story is the barefoot man standing on a surface with an average temperature of 80 degrees. Doesn't sound bad untill you find out one foot is on a bed of hot coals and the other on a piece of dry ice. Averages can completely mislead us. LOL I think I'm cured and expect to live to 90.
What a great story. I need to remember that one.0 -
Similar situation
I'm in a similar situation -- I recently asked my oncologist -- felt I needed to know, for a variety of reasons. He gave me a frank answer, with the usual caveats about no-one can ever know, and I wasn't to regard this as a "sell-by date" (my words, not his!). The time frame for me was much shorter than 5 years.
I agree it's difficult to hear -- and a little difficult not to obsess. I know it sounds simplistic, but when I am obsessing, I do try t actively shift my thoughts and "count my blessings" - yes, really! OK, I also take Xanax every evening!
It sure does focus the mind. I'm struggling with what to do about work. Everyone seems to think I should go on sick leave or such but I want to keep working -- it gives me some structure and helps me think about something else.
Also, I don't know how long it is since you heard the news but time helps! I'm better now than I was a few days ago.
Agree with what others have said about 5 years -- a lot can happen in 5 years, in terms of advances in treatment ('traditional' and 'nontraditional'). I'm exploring some options now....
Hang in there, darling
Tara0 -
living the future, now?taraHK said:Similar situation
I'm in a similar situation -- I recently asked my oncologist -- felt I needed to know, for a variety of reasons. He gave me a frank answer, with the usual caveats about no-one can ever know, and I wasn't to regard this as a "sell-by date" (my words, not his!). The time frame for me was much shorter than 5 years.
I agree it's difficult to hear -- and a little difficult not to obsess. I know it sounds simplistic, but when I am obsessing, I do try t actively shift my thoughts and "count my blessings" - yes, really! OK, I also take Xanax every evening!
It sure does focus the mind. I'm struggling with what to do about work. Everyone seems to think I should go on sick leave or such but I want to keep working -- it gives me some structure and helps me think about something else.
Also, I don't know how long it is since you heard the news but time helps! I'm better now than I was a few days ago.
Agree with what others have said about 5 years -- a lot can happen in 5 years, in terms of advances in treatment ('traditional' and 'nontraditional'). I'm exploring some options now....
Hang in there, darling
Tara
Tara, congratulations on the progress with the gemzar, 5FU, oxy. My wife's tumor cells were tested against 5FU, irinotecan, oxy, and gemzar in combinations. All pairs failed and Gem+5FU+Oxy worked so-so, the best combination of conventional chemos. 5FU + vit C + MK4 was hands down best, 5FU + vit C + K3 was #2. I assume her cells had cimetidine because she was getting a *lot* for surgery itself. I had her path slides stained for CA19-9, CSLEX1 and COX2, all positive so she gets cimetidine and many, mostly natural COX2 inhibitors, among the components. The combination is still working 2 yrs later, augmented with beta glucans (PSK, mushroom extracts+WGP). One prime difference is that she has never had immunological erosion from "normal" chemo as she started immunologically first and then this immunochemo.0 -
Dear Vicki
The timeline starts when we are born, it ticks away everyday, we can't stop it, but... we don't know when it ends, 1 year, 2 years, 5 years, 90 years??? It is never enough, but it is what we are given.
However... having stated that, the timeline in cancer seems to have an end, the end to me is when they say there is nothing more we can do for you, we need to call hospice. Those words are the only timeline for me. They told me go home, forget chemo, enjoy the life you have left, and I didn't, I said, well... I would kind of like to try the chemo. I did, and here I am.
The clock ticking never ticks the same anyway for anybody, did I just say the timeline ends when hospice is called in??? Well, that's a lie too, because there have been a few that years later have proven that is wrong too.
Am I just a "sunnyside up" person??? NO, I think a few will let you know that I fear everything, and am gently surprised when it doesn't come to happen.
What I am trying to say is, unless you feel like giving up, your time isn't up or close to it. If they tell you nothing MEDICALLY will save you, well, then don't go into heroics with medical crap, but be there as much as you can with physical life, it can last a very long time, until you feel that the end is near, then it isn't per someone else's thoughts or diagnosis.
Keep strong, keep hanging along, keep going on.
Winter Marie0 -
Thank you!tootsie1 said:Prayign for you
I'm sorry, and I hope you get your "mojo" back soon. Even if it turns out to be absolutely true that your time is limited, I do hope you will still have some very good days ahead. I hope you will find much to savor and drink in.
*hugs*
Gail
Thank you everyone for all of the responses. Cannot tell you how many times I have read and re-read them. They mean a lot to me and are a great source of comfort and encouragement. I'm getting a better about ignoring the timeframe comment. I have my moments of ups and downs but I am working on focusing more on the ups and dismissing the downs. I am so glad we have this website to come to for support, answers and just a fellowshp of people going through the same issues.
Much love and big hugs for all!
Vicki0 -
Timeline is no reason
Vicki,
I was diagnosed and told I had maybe a 50 percent chance to live 18 to 24 months. Well, it has been only 16 months since diagnosis but the treatment has gone so well they are talking about resection and a long life. When the doctor came out and put his arm around me and said "Oh, John John John, this is not survivable, make your peace" it was definitely a shock. And now it is more of a shock that treatment has gone so well, it's been a wild ride, but I just have to thank Jesus for all he has done for me..
Just hang in there... Doctors give you the generic answer. So there is no telling how long you have, and that could be a very long, and it will be, time!
Keep your head up, Aloha from S. Korea!!!!0 -
Timeline is no reason
Vicki,
I was diagnosed and told I had maybe a 50 percent chance to live 18 to 24 months. Well, it has been only 16 months since diagnosis but the treatment has gone so well they are talking about resection and a long life. When the doctor came out and put his arm around me and said "Oh, John John John, this is not survivable, make your peace" it was definitely a shock. And now it is more of a shock that treatment has gone so well, it's been a wild ride, but I just have to thank Jesus for all he has done for me..
Just hang in there... Doctors give you the generic answer. So there is no telling how long you have, and that could be a very long, and it will be, time!
Keep your head up, Aloha from S. Korea!!!!0
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