Dreaded tests - Again

Hi Everyone,

I haven't been on the boards for a long time so I doubt anyone will remember me. Short history. I was dx 2005 with stage 3 and on my birthday had it removed. I went through chemo and only was able to do 9 out of 12 because of my diabetis. Chemo plays havoc with that. I found out about a month ago that my CEA was slowly climbing. Granted it is still under 'normal' (hate that word!) but it is still climbing. I have a colonoscopy Thursday so finding myself slowly freaking as it draws near. I just wanted to post something since I know many of you understand and it is so hard to talk to people that don't go through this. I'm now at the 'Canceritis' state again. Afraid that it is back but I know that I will fight it again with all I have if it does. Trying to cope with humor. Telling people in my life that if it is back, I lost a ton of weight before on chemo.... maybe I can get to my goal weight this time with it?? I try to see the positive side. LOL. I'm pretty sure I'm fine but there is that 1% chance I'm not. HUGS to everyone here fighting against the beast.