Vultures on the fence

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Comments

  • Doc_Hawk
    Doc_Hawk Member Posts: 685

    Wow
    Just can't understand this. I've wrote a post and got lost. My family never asked what they could get from me but were there for me for help. I'd just say to your family and friends that what you have is your's and if it is willed to someone then they have to accept that. Just can't imagine family and friends being so bold as to ask for personal property from you because you had cancer. When my mom died, from cancer, I'd wanted certain things that I'd bought for my mom for Christmas or birthday and my dad gave those back, but it was afterwards. Tell your family and friends, "I'm not dead and don't count on anything for a long time." Sorry but they are selfish.

    Kim

    My brother
    Hi Kim,

    My older brother is, as I've said, a jerk. I wish I could come up with another word that was not vulgar to describe him. I'd told my best friend, Laurie, that if anything ever happened to me I'd leave her my bike long before I was diagnosed. When I told her that, she kissed me and said that she'd rather have me around than the bike. Not being able to see her whenever we want is one of my biggest regrets about leaving Flagstaff.

    Doc
  • Semira
    Semira Member Posts: 381 Member
    Doc_Hawk said:

    Fur-kids
    Hi Holly,

    It is truly amazing at how easily dogs, cats and other pets can become full members of a family. I've been blessed with having several very wonderful dogs, my fur-kids. But the bond between Lu and I is very special and much stronger than any of the other dogs that have been part of my life. She has literally saved my life on three occasions and she always knows when her daddy is feeling down. When that happens, she gets very cuddly which is exactly what I need at those times. Just one little example of how special she is: 50 years ago, my mother was attacked by a Saint Bernard and needed 33 stitches in her head. She's been afraid of dogs since then, even though we had a few while I was growing up. She never got very close to any of them, but she says that Lulu is HER baby and she gets very protective of her.

    Doc

    fur-kids
    What a great term :-)
    Never heared this before... but sure will use it from now on because we've also 2 wonderful fur-kids in cat shape

    A grin from Germany
    Petra
  • Doc_Hawk
    Doc_Hawk Member Posts: 685
    Semira said:

    fur-kids
    What a great term :-)
    Never heared this before... but sure will use it from now on because we've also 2 wonderful fur-kids in cat shape

    A grin from Germany
    Petra

    Howdy Petra!
    I have two grandsons who are feline-Americans. Indy is an orange tabby (he looks like the cat Jones from the movie Alien) and Nick, a long haired black one with the greenest eyes I've ever seen.

    Grinning back at ya from Utah,
    Doc
  • dmj101
    dmj101 Member Posts: 527 Member
    Doc_Hawk said:

    My brother
    Hi Kim,

    My older brother is, as I've said, a jerk. I wish I could come up with another word that was not vulgar to describe him. I'd told my best friend, Laurie, that if anything ever happened to me I'd leave her my bike long before I was diagnosed. When I told her that, she kissed me and said that she'd rather have me around than the bike. Not being able to see her whenever we want is one of my biggest regrets about leaving Flagstaff.

    Doc

    Family Ugh
    You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family...

    I have solved the whole issue.. I have nothing.. Nothing anyone would want..

    I spemd my money and burn what I can't spend.. I own nothing.
    I have my moms jewlry that my brothers made me buy from her estate.. I will leave explicit instructions that someone buy that if I still have it when I die.. otherwise it is to be sold and the proceeds given to charity.. ACS and St Judes..

    Phil Yes cancer makes us better people.. too bad - the really bad people don't get cancer...
  • marbleotis
    marbleotis Member Posts: 720 Member
    dmj101 said:

    Family Ugh
    You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family...

    I have solved the whole issue.. I have nothing.. Nothing anyone would want..

    I spemd my money and burn what I can't spend.. I own nothing.
    I have my moms jewlry that my brothers made me buy from her estate.. I will leave explicit instructions that someone buy that if I still have it when I die.. otherwise it is to be sold and the proceeds given to charity.. ACS and St Judes..

    Phil Yes cancer makes us better people.. too bad - the really bad people don't get cancer...

    Cancer Makes you realize material positions....
    Cancer Makes you realize material positions....mean nothing. I tell my kids even if we had a billion dollars in the bank I would still have cancer and still need chemo just like everyone else in my position. The less "things" you have in life the better. Just before my Dx we sold (finally) our large house and moved (for a job) to NC and bought a down-sized beautiful home. This was God working in the background because after my Dx I could not handle the 2 mortgages. My advise to all is to have your treasures and give via a will to those who you want to have. The others - who cares. They lead shallow meaningless lives. I pity them!
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    Hi Doc:
    Gosh, people are so insensitive and greedy. Pisses me off. One time when I told a neighbor that George had cancer and just got home from surgery she actually said, "Well, when is he going to die from this" what, huh, are you kidding me. I just smiled and said well not for a long time. What I really wanted to say was he is not going anywhere until after we dance on your grave.

    Another person actually said last summer when George wasn't feel well, "What are you going to do when....I stopped her in mid sentence with a staredown. Again, are you kidding me, what kind of thing is that to say. What I had in my mind but too much of a lady to say was "go after your husband and money".....

    Hugs - Tina
  • steved
    steved Member Posts: 834 Member
    geotina said:

    Hi Doc:
    Gosh, people are so insensitive and greedy. Pisses me off. One time when I told a neighbor that George had cancer and just got home from surgery she actually said, "Well, when is he going to die from this" what, huh, are you kidding me. I just smiled and said well not for a long time. What I really wanted to say was he is not going anywhere until after we dance on your grave.

    Another person actually said last summer when George wasn't feel well, "What are you going to do when....I stopped her in mid sentence with a staredown. Again, are you kidding me, what kind of thing is that to say. What I had in my mind but too much of a lady to say was "go after your husband and money".....

    Hugs - Tina

    People's insensitivities
    I have to say I have become fairly immune to people's reactions. I used to take offence (though I have never had anyone ask for aspects of my possessions) but then realised I wasn't really sure how I wanted people to respond to the news I had cancer or was terminal. In many ways there is no 'good' response (though there are definitely bad ones with great examples above). People struggle to know how to respond and eachof us probably wants something a bit different from people so how can we expect them to know what we want.I guess I have lived with this so long I have become moreforgiving than I was and don't swaet over people's reactions- though have never had any of the real shockers above.

    steve
  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,459 Member

    On a similar topic, would
    On a similar topic, would you believe a long time coworker said the following to me last week when I expressed sadness that Rick was so ill. "Don't worry, we'll find you a new boyfriend.". For the first time in a long time, I was completely speechless. What, does he think my Rick is a goldfish?

    Ha, I just used the goldfish
    Ha, I just used the goldfish sentiment when my daughter fainted and had contractions twice at just 22 weeks pregnant and the nurse said "oh you're a first time grandma so you're overreacting". I replied "this is my grandbaby, not a goldfish." Thankfully baby is fine and we're at 30 weeks. I think people are disconnected and don't get that we're all people because they can't feel the actual love we feel.
  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,459 Member
    Doc_Hawk said:

    Howdy Petra!
    I have two grandsons who are feline-Americans. Indy is an orange tabby (he looks like the cat Jones from the movie Alien) and Nick, a long haired black one with the greenest eyes I've ever seen.

    Grinning back at ya from Utah,
    Doc

    feline-americans! lol LOVE
    feline-americans! lol LOVE IT! I have Fancy my granddog and whiskers (my daughter picked that name when she was 7) my fleabag best friend.
  • annalexandria
    annalexandria Member Posts: 2,571 Member
    Doc_Hawk said:

    My brother
    Hi Kim,

    My older brother is, as I've said, a jerk. I wish I could come up with another word that was not vulgar to describe him. I'd told my best friend, Laurie, that if anything ever happened to me I'd leave her my bike long before I was diagnosed. When I told her that, she kissed me and said that she'd rather have me around than the bike. Not being able to see her whenever we want is one of my biggest regrets about leaving Flagstaff.

    Doc

    I think the toy idea is excellent...
    any chance you could find a little biker guy to put on it, preferably with hand uplifted and middle finger prominently extended? Although it was not anywhere near as obnoxious as your brother's comment, I do have a SIL who asked me what my "bucket list" was, about two weeks after i got diagnosed.. Cancer definitely brings out the stupid in those around us sometimes. Ann
  • janie1
    janie1 Member Posts: 753 Member

    I think the toy idea is excellent...
    any chance you could find a little biker guy to put on it, preferably with hand uplifted and middle finger prominently extended? Although it was not anywhere near as obnoxious as your brother's comment, I do have a SIL who asked me what my "bucket list" was, about two weeks after i got diagnosed.. Cancer definitely brings out the stupid in those around us sometimes. Ann

    Hey Ann
    I had to chuckle......and you sure can't fix stupid, that's for sure.
  • Doc_Hawk
    Doc_Hawk Member Posts: 685
    janie1 said:

    Hey Ann
    I had to chuckle......and you sure can't fix stupid, that's for sure.

    can't fix stupid
    You're right there, but you can always get a bigger hammer and try harder.
  • Doc_Hawk
    Doc_Hawk Member Posts: 685
    geotina said:

    Hi Doc:
    Gosh, people are so insensitive and greedy. Pisses me off. One time when I told a neighbor that George had cancer and just got home from surgery she actually said, "Well, when is he going to die from this" what, huh, are you kidding me. I just smiled and said well not for a long time. What I really wanted to say was he is not going anywhere until after we dance on your grave.

    Another person actually said last summer when George wasn't feel well, "What are you going to do when....I stopped her in mid sentence with a staredown. Again, are you kidding me, what kind of thing is that to say. What I had in my mind but too much of a lady to say was "go after your husband and money".....

    Hugs - Tina

    Shoulda!
    Hey Tina,

    That go after your husband line was classic, you should have said at set her right on her ear!

    Hugs

    Doc
  • annalexandria
    annalexandria Member Posts: 2,571 Member
    geotina said:

    Hi Doc:
    Gosh, people are so insensitive and greedy. Pisses me off. One time when I told a neighbor that George had cancer and just got home from surgery she actually said, "Well, when is he going to die from this" what, huh, are you kidding me. I just smiled and said well not for a long time. What I really wanted to say was he is not going anywhere until after we dance on your grave.

    Another person actually said last summer when George wasn't feel well, "What are you going to do when....I stopped her in mid sentence with a staredown. Again, are you kidding me, what kind of thing is that to say. What I had in my mind but too much of a lady to say was "go after your husband and money".....

    Hugs - Tina

    @Tina-
    LOVE the "go after your husband" comment! You should definitely use that one if you ever get the chance again (which unfortunately you probably will, given how some people are).