“The Trials and Struggles of This Journey That We Call LIFE” (NEW UPDATE to the UPDATE)

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Comments

  • smokeyjoe
    smokeyjoe Member Posts: 1,425 Member
    nikkers said:

    Thank you!~
    I read through your posts here and all I can say is that I am amazed at your ability to write and give help and assistance to me when you yourself were going through so much. I read with such recognition the relationship you had with your sister as it so reflects mine with my brother. Even though we live thousands of miles apart, we have stayed as close as two people can be and he is my most favorite man in the world after my husband, who is another wonderful man. We have worked hard to have our children be as close as brothers and sisters and feel each other's children close in our hearts, which is why my niece's prognosis and present situation cuts me like a knife.

    I thank you deeply for your strength, straightforwardness, self analysis and example. I wish you and Kim a long, happy, and fulfilling life together and that your present stresses will seem like insignificant specks on a distant planet ----- seems like you're already shrinking them to a manageable size anyway... re: sisters as insects. Way to go! Nikky

    Awesome Craig!!

    Awesome Craig!!
  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    Sundanceh said:

    Thank You Wonderful Community and Dear Friends...
    Just a big, big thank you again for responding to this post!!!

    Just a quick funny:

    Kim and I had cut off the free handing out of information regarding my dad's health condition...you know the HIPA act?

    We set it up where only the 2 of us would receive any information and that if anybody called or asked, they are referred to the nurse's station and asked what the password is...

    So, the most blatant "Adopted Daughter" marches up there the other day and 'inquires.' The nurses cut her off at that legs and said, "only family is to receive that information."

    Apparently, she had a major fit on the hospital floor and stormed out of there - WITHOUT going in to see my dad...so no more money, no more access, and soon to be no more access to my dad's house....and I told my dad's friend to pick up his car because she drove up to his house in a HUMMER - what does she need that extra car for?

    Well, so her daughter can 'have a car' to drive around in...we think she has read his will somehow and figured she was not written in - "So if she can't have it - she is going to make sure that neither will we."

    That's got to be the plan unless she can find a way to make a claim on the estate, but I don't see how...but nothing surprises me anymore.

    Anyway, she dropped her pants and showed her **** - her virtues, or lack of them, are on full display and it's not a pretty sight...I await the next counterpunch, but not before I throw a couple of my own.

    I may not be good at much - but I know how to fight - and I know the correct way to do it - you never see it coming...

    Thanks again, guys....if I need some character references from my atty, I hope a few of you might put in a good word for me and Kim, if it comes to that. I may need The Sundance Army to squash her like a bug before we're through.

    Thanks again!

    -Craig

    Dear Craig
    Just tell us where to send them and I am sure we can get many more than a few references from the folks here!

    By the way, when do you expect to hear back on the tests for Kim? Please let her know, the family here is thinking of her and sending best prayers and wishes for her.

    Hugs,

    Marie who loves kitties
  • janie1
    janie1 Member Posts: 753 Member
    smokeyjoe said:

    Awesome Craig!!

    Awesome Craig!!

    Vultures!!!!
    OH.....that was the OTHER thread (Goldie).
    Dang, there's just greed everywhere.
    However.....isn't it the best feeling to beat 'em at their own game. WINNING!!!!
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    Sundanceh said:

    "The Lion's Roar"
    I woke up this morning feeling dog tired and did not want to embrace the morning. While I was getting ready for work, my mind resumed all the thinking I’ve had to do. By the time I pulled out of the driveway and made it to the highway….guess what?

    I felt this sudden rush of “Feeling Good.” I mean I feel good today, really good. Strong, virile, resilient, energetic, enthusiastic, confident, yet combined with a surreal calm that also washed over me this morning – at this time, I can’t explain it any better than that right now.

    I don’t know if it was Big Billy whispering in my ear, but this morning I’ve once again found “The Fightin’ Side of Me.”

    Do you hear that?

    That’s the blood rushing through my veins with a deafening roar – feeding that mighty warrior heart of mine - that’s the sound of my spine stiffening as I stand up tall and straight, filled with the resolve of that, which I must overcome.

    I’ve sloughed off the “Victim’s Shroud” and I find myself suddenly able to see what must be done with a clarity that is quickly coming into much sharper focus.

    I realized this morning, that what I’ve been experiencing is much like it is when we first discover we have cancer. It’s very much like our opening chapter in the book – “The Diagnosis.”

    Where we get the news – our world turns over – it’s all so overwhelming because we’re in an unknown spot with no road maps or sign posts to show the way. We are stunned – we are confused – we are lost – and we are uncertain.

    This is where I am right now with all of this mess with my dad. I’m in the land of the unknown with all of the secrets and back stabbing and the ugliest side of our natures on display. There is a legal world I must learn about – there are other legal obligations on all levels that I’ve never had to contend with before, so that’s always unnerving until you can find your footing.

    And there’s the innuendo and church folk talking about us – acting as the “family” and getting away with it, because dad set it all up that way. So, there’s so many dynamics coming into play. It resembles a very bad soap opera.

    And here I was just thinking I didn’t have any fight left in me…but The Lion is ready to fight now and he’s on the prowl and ready to do what is necessary to watch out for his dad’s interest and do what is the right thing to do to resolve everything in a satisfactory manner.

    And I’m going to see this thing through to its rightful conclusion. It’s the right thing to do. All of you know that I’m a man of my word….I say what I mean – and I mean what I say.

    I aspire to all the great human virtues that we have to offer…Honor – Trust – Loyalty – Commitment – Virtue.

    It’s not going to be easy along the way – nothing in this life ever really is. But, I now have found the resolve to see it all the way through…I’m tired of running – I’m tired of pretending – and I’m tired of the victim role.

    I found out that once a warrior – always a warrior. I found that missing gear that I was looking for and it arrived in the form of my wife. I see a new side of her – I see the gal who’s saddled up and battled beside me for 22 years – she’s in the fight mode now and is united in spirit and walking back in-step “with me.”

    My heart is filled with joy, because I thought we could never re-capture any of our past glory – I thought that part of us had died along the cancer trail. But like the Phoenix, we rise from the ashes – to be together and ride out into battle once more – “As One.”

    It’s a blessing for all to see:)

    I’ve got tears in my eyes as I write this…Tootsie, are you out there, darlin’? Maybe your prayers really were answered after all…I know this news will make your heart sing - I know, you have prayed for this for so long – bless you for everything, honey.

    Tina – I know you will appreciate this part of the story as well, if you’re reading.

    We’re off to a great start – and maybe this is the good news from all of this…we’re always looking for the silver lining in any tragedy – this is as close as it can be right now. And it feels so good to have Kim “with me” again…hell, she’s actually blowing the trumpets and sounding the charge!

    She’s off and down the trail going “rogue” on their **** – she’s a tough customer. I’m so proud to have her with me again…I’ve needed her and have missed her – and I think that’s where all of this loneliness was stemming from all these past many months. I tried to pass it off as ‘other’ family members not being there for me – but it wasn’t that – it was not having her with me that was hurting me at the deepest core. Of course, if my sister and uncle were alive, they are “the family” that I had and lost – and it is empty without them – and has been for many, many years.

    But I thought that substituting other family was the answer – and since they were really never there, they couldn’t be now, or ever. The crux of the whole issue was I had lost Kim and we had become “roommates” and not partners – and it hurt me – and I’m sure it hurt her. But, that $hit is all over with now…the clouds have lifted and I see the sun over the horizon now – I think we both see it clearly.

    Cancer nearly broke us – and now this is going to save us…who knew?

    Yeah, I feel good now – I’m ready to fight – I love a good fight. I just need to get my lip bloodied and taste my own blood – and then the $hit is on – Hell is coming with us both now…Big Billy may be out of a job, LOL!

    I love the sting of battle – it tastes like…….like….Victory!

    We are going to see about a free consultation with an attorney – and lay out the story and see what options are available – or could be made available to help keep his estate from falling to the state. Then, we would see what it took to retain their services. Apparently, we’re going to need representation as something is going on that we haven’t figured out. But, it will all come out in the wash somehow.

    I still would like to bury him honorable and let his friends say their good-byes. He set the money for his funeral aside, but of course, made it where I can’t help him at a time when he needs help the most.

    As always, I’ve got to be the bigger man in the relationship, always have had to be. And I’m doing this more for myself now, even though I still don’t want to see dad hurt and taken advantage of.

    I’ve got to be able to live with this, you see? I’ve got to have my conscience and the slate wiped clean, so that I won’t have to carry the guilt around with me for the rest of my days. My bill for all of this will have been paid in full.

    In the end, everything that he has done is bad, real bad. But, I can’t sink to his level, because I march to a different drummer and my name has to stand for something. I would run for awhile, but never be able to hide – and I would remain haunted and I know this.

    So, there it is…The Lion has roared.

    Thank you so much for all your supportive posts – I guess I’m finally at a time where I need you more than I ever have in my life…I know it sux to have to wade through this with me, but I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you continue to stand by me.

    I hope to one day be able to return the favor.

    -The Lion

    As predicted, you made me cry
    Thank you for making sure I would see this message! I've been so tied up with work and then feeling lousy the past few days, and I haven't done much on this board. I might very well have missed this fabulous post if you hadn't sent me a message to make sure I would read it!

    You are right. I do have tears in my eyes right now. Tears of joy that a very, very dear man is feeling "his oats" again. I'm SO happy to know that you feel well and strong and manly and ready to take on anything. That's something I've wanted for you for so long.

    And the best part, the VERY, VERY best part of all this is that your lovely Kim is once again by your side. Not there because she has to be, or because she hasn't yet figured out how to gracefully get out of something that is not working well for either partner. No, she is there because you WANT her there and she WANTS to be there. You're a team, a very happy team.

    I've always believed in the power of prayer, and now I believe even more strongly.

    Craig, I love you, and I'm starting to love your Kim as well (my facebook friend!). I am overjoyed at this lovely phase you two are in now. Happy, happy day!

    Love you both!

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • thingy45
    thingy45 Member Posts: 632 Member
    tootsie1 said:

    As predicted, you made me cry
    Thank you for making sure I would see this message! I've been so tied up with work and then feeling lousy the past few days, and I haven't done much on this board. I might very well have missed this fabulous post if you hadn't sent me a message to make sure I would read it!

    You are right. I do have tears in my eyes right now. Tears of joy that a very, very dear man is feeling "his oats" again. I'm SO happy to know that you feel well and strong and manly and ready to take on anything. That's something I've wanted for you for so long.

    And the best part, the VERY, VERY best part of all this is that your lovely Kim is once again by your side. Not there because she has to be, or because she hasn't yet figured out how to gracefully get out of something that is not working well for either partner. No, she is there because you WANT her there and she WANTS to be there. You're a team, a very happy team.

    I've always believed in the power of prayer, and now I believe even more strongly.

    Craig, I love you, and I'm starting to love your Kim as well (my facebook friend!). I am overjoyed at this lovely phase you two are in now. Happy, happy day!

    Love you both!

    *hugs*
    Gail

    I love the ROAR
    Hi Craig,
    This is what I meant when I wrote to you privately. You ARE the better and bigger man. You can only be a victim if you let them make you a victim. YOU have the law at your side.
    I have learned that it is harder to deal with the "so called" Christian people, although I am Christian my self, but a very free thinker and I love all people, not only the people in MY church. After all God is there for everybody, not only for Lutherans,Katholics Prostestants etc.

    Yes your father made a mess of things, you have to protect him from himself also.

    Great to read that you feel great, you can, with kim at your side move mountains. Awesome to hear that all is well in your world. Besides the on going problem with your Dad.
    Yes, I deffinately regard you as family. On this board we are one big family, and we jump in to help one of our own. As I wrote earlier, if I was closer by I would come over and help.

    Keep the feeling of greatnerss and power.
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member

    Dear Craig
    Just tell us where to send them and I am sure we can get many more than a few references from the folks here!

    By the way, when do you expect to hear back on the tests for Kim? Please let her know, the family here is thinking of her and sending best prayers and wishes for her.

    Hugs,

    Marie who loves kitties

    Marie
    Kim said she will be redoing the tests at the end of the month and then should know something at the end of this month or the first week of April.

    I will be sure to tell her that everyone here is thinking of her and hoping for the best.

    Thank you!

    -Craig
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    "Update to the Update..."
    Team Sundance is kicking **** and taking names this past week..."From Worst to 1st!"

    Well, after getting sucker punched and temporarily stunned, we've come roaring back throwing a couple of "Haymakers" of our own...and we landed 'em too - square on the jaw:)

    We've got the mail controlled now so we can keep track of his bills due - post office stopped delivering to his house and holds the mail there at the station - we go pick it up weekly now.

    Pulled the trigger and had all the locks changed on his house - unplugged garage door units to eliminate garage entry access - bolted all doors as well. There is stuff missing, but we've at least stopped the bleeding there and his house is secure.

    My aunt and uncle came through with a great referral for a high-powered attorney and we contacted them and explained the situation...they immediately jumped on it and we did all the paperwork they required and gathered forms etc. etc. The big man himself showed up to make sure it was handled properly - a very nice guy and very intelligent.

    What a relief to know you've got the "Long Arm of the Law" on retainer if things pop up. I had told Dad what we were doing to protect his estate and he was relieved. After he got over the initial shock, he asked me several different days when it was going to happen.

    Since, he went to ICU and got over that initial hump, I find his memory and mind are coming back and he's remembering his money and where it is at - he knows the locks were changed and thought that was good, etc. etc.

    Kim and I suspect that he was being brought 'meds' in addition to the regular ones that the facilities were giving...he's been way out there at times...but since we've cut off access and the money train, he's sobering up, so to speak.

    While, he's not perfect, he's certainly alot more lucid and making more sense than he was...we are not sure who could have been doing this, if they were, somebody had to be bringing something by....he had several of us out "running" for him every day.

    So, the attorney came to the hospital with the notary and dad signed the papers and legally put me over the estate, in the event he becomes incapacitated.

    I can't tell you what a huge relief this is - Team Sundance did the hustle and our attorney gave us the muscle. Now, we're ready to fight if anymore cockroaches coming crawling out of the woodwork.

    I expect more action - but at least we're ready for it...and this guy doesn't play...it's comforting to have a smart man who knows the law...we're very lucky to have access to a guy of his caliber. They are "movers and shakers."

    Everybody knows that I can take my licks - and everybody knows that I can give 'em too. It's been a stressful time trying to navigate all the things we've had to do and make decisions and get it done. I may get knocked down - but I don't stay down for too long.

    Dad is still being dad...he's been yelling at me some (loudly) and called me a derogatory name. My aunt and uncle came to visit him the other day and dad made me feed him - just to see if I would.....he's a control freak and is always 'testing' you.

    He kind of got nasty with Kim - and a friend and his wife stopped by and he sort of got short with her. He's being belligerent with his speech therapist and won't look at her and won't cooperate - in fact, if he doesn't want to talk, he doesn't...he just points and expects you to figure it out what he wants...and if you can't do it quick enough or make the wrong choice, he lets you know.

    They got him to sit up on the edge of his bed, but then that was it he wanted to lay back down...so with no rehab, I can't see him walking or even standing and thus, he's going to be somewhere he doesn't want to be...and somewhere he's going to make it very hard on me that he can't go home...but I can only go by what the doctor says.

    And we all know to live independently, you need to be mobile in some degree - be able to go to the restroom on your own and prepare or heat up a meal or two...and he's got health issues at this point...he's on oxygen and his heart is still beating too fast. Pneumonia is getting better though. I would imagine if he gets well enough, they will release him back to the new facility that we got him too...it is nice 5*. It will probably get real interesting from there.

    I'm tired and exhausted....work all day - go to ICU for the evening - get home grab a bite and straight to bed...our life has been his life...at least for now. At some point, when I can stabilize this, I'll have to set up some ground rules, because I just can't keep going at this pace...I'm gonna' burn up and Kim too.

    I want to thank everyone for their support and advice. In this life, it always comes down to TIME and MONEY - and in cases like this one, BOTH!

    -Craig
  • Buckwirth
    Buckwirth Member Posts: 1,258 Member
    Sundanceh said:

    "Update to the Update..."
    Team Sundance is kicking **** and taking names this past week..."From Worst to 1st!"

    Well, after getting sucker punched and temporarily stunned, we've come roaring back throwing a couple of "Haymakers" of our own...and we landed 'em too - square on the jaw:)

    We've got the mail controlled now so we can keep track of his bills due - post office stopped delivering to his house and holds the mail there at the station - we go pick it up weekly now.

    Pulled the trigger and had all the locks changed on his house - unplugged garage door units to eliminate garage entry access - bolted all doors as well. There is stuff missing, but we've at least stopped the bleeding there and his house is secure.

    My aunt and uncle came through with a great referral for a high-powered attorney and we contacted them and explained the situation...they immediately jumped on it and we did all the paperwork they required and gathered forms etc. etc. The big man himself showed up to make sure it was handled properly - a very nice guy and very intelligent.

    What a relief to know you've got the "Long Arm of the Law" on retainer if things pop up. I had told Dad what we were doing to protect his estate and he was relieved. After he got over the initial shock, he asked me several different days when it was going to happen.

    Since, he went to ICU and got over that initial hump, I find his memory and mind are coming back and he's remembering his money and where it is at - he knows the locks were changed and thought that was good, etc. etc.

    Kim and I suspect that he was being brought 'meds' in addition to the regular ones that the facilities were giving...he's been way out there at times...but since we've cut off access and the money train, he's sobering up, so to speak.

    While, he's not perfect, he's certainly alot more lucid and making more sense than he was...we are not sure who could have been doing this, if they were, somebody had to be bringing something by....he had several of us out "running" for him every day.

    So, the attorney came to the hospital with the notary and dad signed the papers and legally put me over the estate, in the event he becomes incapacitated.

    I can't tell you what a huge relief this is - Team Sundance did the hustle and our attorney gave us the muscle. Now, we're ready to fight if anymore cockroaches coming crawling out of the woodwork.

    I expect more action - but at least we're ready for it...and this guy doesn't play...it's comforting to have a smart man who knows the law...we're very lucky to have access to a guy of his caliber. They are "movers and shakers."

    Everybody knows that I can take my licks - and everybody knows that I can give 'em too. It's been a stressful time trying to navigate all the things we've had to do and make decisions and get it done. I may get knocked down - but I don't stay down for too long.

    Dad is still being dad...he's been yelling at me some (loudly) and called me a derogatory name. My aunt and uncle came to visit him the other day and dad made me feed him - just to see if I would.....he's a control freak and is always 'testing' you.

    He kind of got nasty with Kim - and a friend and his wife stopped by and he sort of got short with her. He's being belligerent with his speech therapist and won't look at her and won't cooperate - in fact, if he doesn't want to talk, he doesn't...he just points and expects you to figure it out what he wants...and if you can't do it quick enough or make the wrong choice, he lets you know.

    They got him to sit up on the edge of his bed, but then that was it he wanted to lay back down...so with no rehab, I can't see him walking or even standing and thus, he's going to be somewhere he doesn't want to be...and somewhere he's going to make it very hard on me that he can't go home...but I can only go by what the doctor says.

    And we all know to live independently, you need to be mobile in some degree - be able to go to the restroom on your own and prepare or heat up a meal or two...and he's got health issues at this point...he's on oxygen and his heart is still beating too fast. Pneumonia is getting better though. I would imagine if he gets well enough, they will release him back to the new facility that we got him too...it is nice 5*. It will probably get real interesting from there.

    I'm tired and exhausted....work all day - go to ICU for the evening - get home grab a bite and straight to bed...our life has been his life...at least for now. At some point, when I can stabilize this, I'll have to set up some ground rules, because I just can't keep going at this pace...I'm gonna' burn up and Kim too.

    I want to thank everyone for their support and advice. In this life, it always comes down to TIME and MONEY - and in cases like this one, BOTH!

    -Craig

    Good job!
    Sounds like your on the right track, and the best part is now the story starts to get fun! It is hard to read about someone getting kicked over and over, but it is great to see them rise up and hit back! Keep hitting them back Craig, and know your csn family is standing in your corner and rooting for you!

    Btw, we all like to make fun of lawyers, but I bet it feels good to have one working on your behalf, eh?
  • nikkers
    nikkers Member Posts: 25
    Sundanceh said:

    "Update to the Update..."
    Team Sundance is kicking **** and taking names this past week..."From Worst to 1st!"

    Well, after getting sucker punched and temporarily stunned, we've come roaring back throwing a couple of "Haymakers" of our own...and we landed 'em too - square on the jaw:)

    We've got the mail controlled now so we can keep track of his bills due - post office stopped delivering to his house and holds the mail there at the station - we go pick it up weekly now.

    Pulled the trigger and had all the locks changed on his house - unplugged garage door units to eliminate garage entry access - bolted all doors as well. There is stuff missing, but we've at least stopped the bleeding there and his house is secure.

    My aunt and uncle came through with a great referral for a high-powered attorney and we contacted them and explained the situation...they immediately jumped on it and we did all the paperwork they required and gathered forms etc. etc. The big man himself showed up to make sure it was handled properly - a very nice guy and very intelligent.

    What a relief to know you've got the "Long Arm of the Law" on retainer if things pop up. I had told Dad what we were doing to protect his estate and he was relieved. After he got over the initial shock, he asked me several different days when it was going to happen.

    Since, he went to ICU and got over that initial hump, I find his memory and mind are coming back and he's remembering his money and where it is at - he knows the locks were changed and thought that was good, etc. etc.

    Kim and I suspect that he was being brought 'meds' in addition to the regular ones that the facilities were giving...he's been way out there at times...but since we've cut off access and the money train, he's sobering up, so to speak.

    While, he's not perfect, he's certainly alot more lucid and making more sense than he was...we are not sure who could have been doing this, if they were, somebody had to be bringing something by....he had several of us out "running" for him every day.

    So, the attorney came to the hospital with the notary and dad signed the papers and legally put me over the estate, in the event he becomes incapacitated.

    I can't tell you what a huge relief this is - Team Sundance did the hustle and our attorney gave us the muscle. Now, we're ready to fight if anymore cockroaches coming crawling out of the woodwork.

    I expect more action - but at least we're ready for it...and this guy doesn't play...it's comforting to have a smart man who knows the law...we're very lucky to have access to a guy of his caliber. They are "movers and shakers."

    Everybody knows that I can take my licks - and everybody knows that I can give 'em too. It's been a stressful time trying to navigate all the things we've had to do and make decisions and get it done. I may get knocked down - but I don't stay down for too long.

    Dad is still being dad...he's been yelling at me some (loudly) and called me a derogatory name. My aunt and uncle came to visit him the other day and dad made me feed him - just to see if I would.....he's a control freak and is always 'testing' you.

    He kind of got nasty with Kim - and a friend and his wife stopped by and he sort of got short with her. He's being belligerent with his speech therapist and won't look at her and won't cooperate - in fact, if he doesn't want to talk, he doesn't...he just points and expects you to figure it out what he wants...and if you can't do it quick enough or make the wrong choice, he lets you know.

    They got him to sit up on the edge of his bed, but then that was it he wanted to lay back down...so with no rehab, I can't see him walking or even standing and thus, he's going to be somewhere he doesn't want to be...and somewhere he's going to make it very hard on me that he can't go home...but I can only go by what the doctor says.

    And we all know to live independently, you need to be mobile in some degree - be able to go to the restroom on your own and prepare or heat up a meal or two...and he's got health issues at this point...he's on oxygen and his heart is still beating too fast. Pneumonia is getting better though. I would imagine if he gets well enough, they will release him back to the new facility that we got him too...it is nice 5*. It will probably get real interesting from there.

    I'm tired and exhausted....work all day - go to ICU for the evening - get home grab a bite and straight to bed...our life has been his life...at least for now. At some point, when I can stabilize this, I'll have to set up some ground rules, because I just can't keep going at this pace...I'm gonna' burn up and Kim too.

    I want to thank everyone for their support and advice. In this life, it always comes down to TIME and MONEY - and in cases like this one, BOTH!

    -Craig

    Wow. This looks like such
    Wow. This looks like such good news and your father toeing the line and signing you as Power of Attorney in the case of his becoming totally incapacitated. My brother and I, after a lot of difficult discussion, managed to persuade my mother after her knee surgery at 88 (way too late to have surgery in life, but she was determined and did it when my brother was away) to do the same thing and it was a wonderful relief when she started having strokes that we already had everything in place. Old people can become so suspicious of family when they feel their independence fading, BUT they deep down know that you are there for them. It sounds as if your father, even though he doesn't seem able to control his negative ways toward you, acknowledges you are the one he can rely on! What a relief for you.

    Now to work on finding some more time for you and Kim, eh?

    Good luck, Nikky
  • janie1
    janie1 Member Posts: 753 Member
    nikkers said:

    Wow. This looks like such
    Wow. This looks like such good news and your father toeing the line and signing you as Power of Attorney in the case of his becoming totally incapacitated. My brother and I, after a lot of difficult discussion, managed to persuade my mother after her knee surgery at 88 (way too late to have surgery in life, but she was determined and did it when my brother was away) to do the same thing and it was a wonderful relief when she started having strokes that we already had everything in place. Old people can become so suspicious of family when they feel their independence fading, BUT they deep down know that you are there for them. It sounds as if your father, even though he doesn't seem able to control his negative ways toward you, acknowledges you are the one he can rely on! What a relief for you.

    Now to work on finding some more time for you and Kim, eh?

    Good luck, Nikky

    Your update to the update.
    Man, I wouldn't want to be face to face with Team Sundance (unless I wanted a thorough arse-kicking).
    Would I love to see the "Goddesses" trying to use the garage door remote controls now. Probably they don't have a clue there's electricity involved. LOL.
  • thingy45
    thingy45 Member Posts: 632 Member
    janie1 said:

    Your update to the update.
    Man, I wouldn't want to be face to face with Team Sundance (unless I wanted a thorough arse-kicking).
    Would I love to see the "Goddesses" trying to use the garage door remote controls now. Probably they don't have a clue there's electricity involved. LOL.

    new book
    Hi Craig,

    I can feel another book in the making. Many of us have been the road you are traveling regarding the care of your Dad. Reading these posts by itselve is a book.
    Hugs, Marjan
  • lauragb
    lauragb Member Posts: 370 Member
    Sundanceh said:

    "Update to the Update..."
    Team Sundance is kicking **** and taking names this past week..."From Worst to 1st!"

    Well, after getting sucker punched and temporarily stunned, we've come roaring back throwing a couple of "Haymakers" of our own...and we landed 'em too - square on the jaw:)

    We've got the mail controlled now so we can keep track of his bills due - post office stopped delivering to his house and holds the mail there at the station - we go pick it up weekly now.

    Pulled the trigger and had all the locks changed on his house - unplugged garage door units to eliminate garage entry access - bolted all doors as well. There is stuff missing, but we've at least stopped the bleeding there and his house is secure.

    My aunt and uncle came through with a great referral for a high-powered attorney and we contacted them and explained the situation...they immediately jumped on it and we did all the paperwork they required and gathered forms etc. etc. The big man himself showed up to make sure it was handled properly - a very nice guy and very intelligent.

    What a relief to know you've got the "Long Arm of the Law" on retainer if things pop up. I had told Dad what we were doing to protect his estate and he was relieved. After he got over the initial shock, he asked me several different days when it was going to happen.

    Since, he went to ICU and got over that initial hump, I find his memory and mind are coming back and he's remembering his money and where it is at - he knows the locks were changed and thought that was good, etc. etc.

    Kim and I suspect that he was being brought 'meds' in addition to the regular ones that the facilities were giving...he's been way out there at times...but since we've cut off access and the money train, he's sobering up, so to speak.

    While, he's not perfect, he's certainly alot more lucid and making more sense than he was...we are not sure who could have been doing this, if they were, somebody had to be bringing something by....he had several of us out "running" for him every day.

    So, the attorney came to the hospital with the notary and dad signed the papers and legally put me over the estate, in the event he becomes incapacitated.

    I can't tell you what a huge relief this is - Team Sundance did the hustle and our attorney gave us the muscle. Now, we're ready to fight if anymore cockroaches coming crawling out of the woodwork.

    I expect more action - but at least we're ready for it...and this guy doesn't play...it's comforting to have a smart man who knows the law...we're very lucky to have access to a guy of his caliber. They are "movers and shakers."

    Everybody knows that I can take my licks - and everybody knows that I can give 'em too. It's been a stressful time trying to navigate all the things we've had to do and make decisions and get it done. I may get knocked down - but I don't stay down for too long.

    Dad is still being dad...he's been yelling at me some (loudly) and called me a derogatory name. My aunt and uncle came to visit him the other day and dad made me feed him - just to see if I would.....he's a control freak and is always 'testing' you.

    He kind of got nasty with Kim - and a friend and his wife stopped by and he sort of got short with her. He's being belligerent with his speech therapist and won't look at her and won't cooperate - in fact, if he doesn't want to talk, he doesn't...he just points and expects you to figure it out what he wants...and if you can't do it quick enough or make the wrong choice, he lets you know.

    They got him to sit up on the edge of his bed, but then that was it he wanted to lay back down...so with no rehab, I can't see him walking or even standing and thus, he's going to be somewhere he doesn't want to be...and somewhere he's going to make it very hard on me that he can't go home...but I can only go by what the doctor says.

    And we all know to live independently, you need to be mobile in some degree - be able to go to the restroom on your own and prepare or heat up a meal or two...and he's got health issues at this point...he's on oxygen and his heart is still beating too fast. Pneumonia is getting better though. I would imagine if he gets well enough, they will release him back to the new facility that we got him too...it is nice 5*. It will probably get real interesting from there.

    I'm tired and exhausted....work all day - go to ICU for the evening - get home grab a bite and straight to bed...our life has been his life...at least for now. At some point, when I can stabilize this, I'll have to set up some ground rules, because I just can't keep going at this pace...I'm gonna' burn up and Kim too.

    I want to thank everyone for their support and advice. In this life, it always comes down to TIME and MONEY - and in cases like this one, BOTH!

    -Craig

    Way to go Team Sundance!
    Way to go Team Sundance! You've been doin some serious butt kickin' Keep on keepin on.

    In the light.

    Laura
  • janderson1964
    janderson1964 Member Posts: 2,215 Member
    Sundanceh said:

    "Update to the Update..."
    Team Sundance is kicking **** and taking names this past week..."From Worst to 1st!"

    Well, after getting sucker punched and temporarily stunned, we've come roaring back throwing a couple of "Haymakers" of our own...and we landed 'em too - square on the jaw:)

    We've got the mail controlled now so we can keep track of his bills due - post office stopped delivering to his house and holds the mail there at the station - we go pick it up weekly now.

    Pulled the trigger and had all the locks changed on his house - unplugged garage door units to eliminate garage entry access - bolted all doors as well. There is stuff missing, but we've at least stopped the bleeding there and his house is secure.

    My aunt and uncle came through with a great referral for a high-powered attorney and we contacted them and explained the situation...they immediately jumped on it and we did all the paperwork they required and gathered forms etc. etc. The big man himself showed up to make sure it was handled properly - a very nice guy and very intelligent.

    What a relief to know you've got the "Long Arm of the Law" on retainer if things pop up. I had told Dad what we were doing to protect his estate and he was relieved. After he got over the initial shock, he asked me several different days when it was going to happen.

    Since, he went to ICU and got over that initial hump, I find his memory and mind are coming back and he's remembering his money and where it is at - he knows the locks were changed and thought that was good, etc. etc.

    Kim and I suspect that he was being brought 'meds' in addition to the regular ones that the facilities were giving...he's been way out there at times...but since we've cut off access and the money train, he's sobering up, so to speak.

    While, he's not perfect, he's certainly alot more lucid and making more sense than he was...we are not sure who could have been doing this, if they were, somebody had to be bringing something by....he had several of us out "running" for him every day.

    So, the attorney came to the hospital with the notary and dad signed the papers and legally put me over the estate, in the event he becomes incapacitated.

    I can't tell you what a huge relief this is - Team Sundance did the hustle and our attorney gave us the muscle. Now, we're ready to fight if anymore cockroaches coming crawling out of the woodwork.

    I expect more action - but at least we're ready for it...and this guy doesn't play...it's comforting to have a smart man who knows the law...we're very lucky to have access to a guy of his caliber. They are "movers and shakers."

    Everybody knows that I can take my licks - and everybody knows that I can give 'em too. It's been a stressful time trying to navigate all the things we've had to do and make decisions and get it done. I may get knocked down - but I don't stay down for too long.

    Dad is still being dad...he's been yelling at me some (loudly) and called me a derogatory name. My aunt and uncle came to visit him the other day and dad made me feed him - just to see if I would.....he's a control freak and is always 'testing' you.

    He kind of got nasty with Kim - and a friend and his wife stopped by and he sort of got short with her. He's being belligerent with his speech therapist and won't look at her and won't cooperate - in fact, if he doesn't want to talk, he doesn't...he just points and expects you to figure it out what he wants...and if you can't do it quick enough or make the wrong choice, he lets you know.

    They got him to sit up on the edge of his bed, but then that was it he wanted to lay back down...so with no rehab, I can't see him walking or even standing and thus, he's going to be somewhere he doesn't want to be...and somewhere he's going to make it very hard on me that he can't go home...but I can only go by what the doctor says.

    And we all know to live independently, you need to be mobile in some degree - be able to go to the restroom on your own and prepare or heat up a meal or two...and he's got health issues at this point...he's on oxygen and his heart is still beating too fast. Pneumonia is getting better though. I would imagine if he gets well enough, they will release him back to the new facility that we got him too...it is nice 5*. It will probably get real interesting from there.

    I'm tired and exhausted....work all day - go to ICU for the evening - get home grab a bite and straight to bed...our life has been his life...at least for now. At some point, when I can stabilize this, I'll have to set up some ground rules, because I just can't keep going at this pace...I'm gonna' burn up and Kim too.

    I want to thank everyone for their support and advice. In this life, it always comes down to TIME and MONEY - and in cases like this one, BOTH!

    -Craig

    Sounds like you are kicking
    Sounds like you are kicking some serious **** after being down like the legend John Force. I agrre with what you say at the end. At some point you need to start taking care of yourself. We all care about you hear and expect you to be around for a very long time.

    Jeff