The End of my Tenure--10 years today
2bhealed
Member Posts: 2,064 Member
Hello you wonderful Semi-colons!
Little did I know ten years ago, December 12, 2001, when I posted my very first post on this board that I would still be here posting away, answering questions, building friendships, mourning the loss of friends, and most recently meeting friends face to face, new and old, at my first Colonpalooza. It has been, for the most part, a very wonderful stint full of laughs, camaraderie, information, support, love and friendship.
Ten years ago I was every bit scared as anyone coming to a cancer board for the first time. I looked for information and guidance. Ron50 replied to my post with kindness. He will always hold a special place in my heart for that. I know there is a collective nod at this statement because I'll bet most of you can remember the person who reached out to you the first time you posted. And since that time, there have been too many replies to count. And until most recently, most of those replies have been full of love and encouragement, if not full of laughter.
Torpedos in Speedos, pool parties with SpongeBob and Barb, carrot juice cocktail parties, Cheetos, silliness and shenanigans, that bound us together beyond the cancer, took precedence at times; but the seriousness of our communal crisis was never far from our minds. We reveled in comic relief and banter. We needed to, because at the time so many of us were new to the cancer gig and didn't know how numbered were our days. It didn't matter if we were Stage I, II, III, or IV--we were all nervous of our outcomes. We listened to Stacy remind us that odds were for Vegas and expiration dates were for dairy products.
And then came Scouty. Our Stage IV pioneer who made a u-turn and embarked on a journey that has forever bonded our two spirits. No surprise we look like sisters from another mother.
And then came the Paloozas that LisaRose diligently documented. How many times did I try to get to one to meet up with the buds that I had made on here.
Dear Nanuk driving 600 miles out of his way to Northern Minnesota in order to spend some time with me and meet my family-- priceless even more so since he did not live to attend another one. I cherish those memories dearly. He was forever grumbling about the boards being down or giving him problems.
How can one even begin to count all the dear souls who have stepped into a different realm, who gave us so much, who shared their struggles and their triumphs....Sweet Baby Girl going for her Masters, Kerry who hosted a Palooza, FitLisa, Cheyenne......the list goes on sadly for way too long.
I don't know how many of you who are still here now contributed to the Semi-Colon Humanitarian Award that hangs on my wall. How humbling that was to receive such a gift from those who had been helped along the way. I cherish that plaque as well.
This is not to self-aggrandize , but to illustrate how wickedly the atmosphere on the boards has changed. I share what is written:
Semi-Colon Humanitarian Award
presented to Emily ---------
Your Grateful Appreciation of
Your Extraordinary Involvement
Unselfish Devotion & Loving Commitment
To the Awareness of Alternative Therapies
In Our Lives
May 2005
Together Forever The Semi-Colons
Barb was the ring-leader on that one and all were in cahoots.
An ill wind has blown in and threatens to destroy much that has been lovingly created by our community. Unfortunately the bullying of a few has brought derision where there had been none. It is permeating our once safe atmosphere.
Yes, there have always been hot-topic buttons and a bit of fussing now and then, but the obvious stalking, baiting and pouncing was never a part of it. This is a new dimension that has reached a level that I, for one, am not comfortable with nor want to be a part of in any way, shape, or form.
It's not healthy for me to engage and sink to that base level and be part of the negative. But more importantly, it's not fair to the newcomers who are scared and confused and reaching out to us, grasping for information, but mostly for HOPE.
The gist of my message has been to provide HOPE wrapped in a different package. Most of the Semi-Colons have tolerated that message with an open mind, and some have even grabbed onto that same hope and formed it into their own unique shape.
So it is with sadness that I realize that I seem to be, as I said in the Gerson thread, a lightning rod for the negative energy from three certain individuals that pervades certain alternative threads and topics.
It grieves me, time and again, to feel the need to defend my truth as my words are being twisted, I am being baited, and stalked. The threads inevitably get derailed.
Never before has it become so personal with lies, perversions and direct attacks toward me. A person can only take so much. I don't need the continuous barrage of attacks when I am just trying to respectfully disseminate information that is asked for in regards to alternative treatments -- treatments that I actually have personal experience with and interest in.
It's no secret that health is my passion. That will not end. But my posting on the boards is becoming a source of contention and division, and the bullies will not stop--I've tried.
It's not fair to our Semi-Colon community. They deserve better behavior. They deserve the freedom to ask any question without fear and deserve the respect that their thread will not be hijacked with personal attacks and hateful discourse.
Today I lost a dear friend and mentor to ovarian cancer. She just had her surgery last month. She was part of our bike club--and she was in her 80's! Her zest for life and love for all was so apparent. Yet, today she is gone from this earth. And to think and say that I would laugh at her dying is reprehensible.
I am hoping by removing the target (me), the bullies will become bored and move on leaving the boards to blossom again in love and support for all. Much like it was before, for the better part of the past 10 years.
It is fitting that I bow out on the anniversary of the day I joined up. It's been a great gig, like I said.
To those who have extended the hand of friendship, I appreciate the love and support. I carry a bit of you all with me, and keep you in my prayers. Thank you so much.
Keep Juicing!!
peace, emily the juice chick (((((((((Semi-Colons)))))))))
Little did I know ten years ago, December 12, 2001, when I posted my very first post on this board that I would still be here posting away, answering questions, building friendships, mourning the loss of friends, and most recently meeting friends face to face, new and old, at my first Colonpalooza. It has been, for the most part, a very wonderful stint full of laughs, camaraderie, information, support, love and friendship.
Ten years ago I was every bit scared as anyone coming to a cancer board for the first time. I looked for information and guidance. Ron50 replied to my post with kindness. He will always hold a special place in my heart for that. I know there is a collective nod at this statement because I'll bet most of you can remember the person who reached out to you the first time you posted. And since that time, there have been too many replies to count. And until most recently, most of those replies have been full of love and encouragement, if not full of laughter.
Torpedos in Speedos, pool parties with SpongeBob and Barb, carrot juice cocktail parties, Cheetos, silliness and shenanigans, that bound us together beyond the cancer, took precedence at times; but the seriousness of our communal crisis was never far from our minds. We reveled in comic relief and banter. We needed to, because at the time so many of us were new to the cancer gig and didn't know how numbered were our days. It didn't matter if we were Stage I, II, III, or IV--we were all nervous of our outcomes. We listened to Stacy remind us that odds were for Vegas and expiration dates were for dairy products.
And then came Scouty. Our Stage IV pioneer who made a u-turn and embarked on a journey that has forever bonded our two spirits. No surprise we look like sisters from another mother.
And then came the Paloozas that LisaRose diligently documented. How many times did I try to get to one to meet up with the buds that I had made on here.
Dear Nanuk driving 600 miles out of his way to Northern Minnesota in order to spend some time with me and meet my family-- priceless even more so since he did not live to attend another one. I cherish those memories dearly. He was forever grumbling about the boards being down or giving him problems.
How can one even begin to count all the dear souls who have stepped into a different realm, who gave us so much, who shared their struggles and their triumphs....Sweet Baby Girl going for her Masters, Kerry who hosted a Palooza, FitLisa, Cheyenne......the list goes on sadly for way too long.
I don't know how many of you who are still here now contributed to the Semi-Colon Humanitarian Award that hangs on my wall. How humbling that was to receive such a gift from those who had been helped along the way. I cherish that plaque as well.
This is not to self-aggrandize , but to illustrate how wickedly the atmosphere on the boards has changed. I share what is written:
Semi-Colon Humanitarian Award
presented to Emily ---------
Your Grateful Appreciation of
Your Extraordinary Involvement
Unselfish Devotion & Loving Commitment
To the Awareness of Alternative Therapies
In Our Lives
May 2005
Together Forever The Semi-Colons
Barb was the ring-leader on that one and all were in cahoots.
An ill wind has blown in and threatens to destroy much that has been lovingly created by our community. Unfortunately the bullying of a few has brought derision where there had been none. It is permeating our once safe atmosphere.
Yes, there have always been hot-topic buttons and a bit of fussing now and then, but the obvious stalking, baiting and pouncing was never a part of it. This is a new dimension that has reached a level that I, for one, am not comfortable with nor want to be a part of in any way, shape, or form.
It's not healthy for me to engage and sink to that base level and be part of the negative. But more importantly, it's not fair to the newcomers who are scared and confused and reaching out to us, grasping for information, but mostly for HOPE.
The gist of my message has been to provide HOPE wrapped in a different package. Most of the Semi-Colons have tolerated that message with an open mind, and some have even grabbed onto that same hope and formed it into their own unique shape.
So it is with sadness that I realize that I seem to be, as I said in the Gerson thread, a lightning rod for the negative energy from three certain individuals that pervades certain alternative threads and topics.
It grieves me, time and again, to feel the need to defend my truth as my words are being twisted, I am being baited, and stalked. The threads inevitably get derailed.
Never before has it become so personal with lies, perversions and direct attacks toward me. A person can only take so much. I don't need the continuous barrage of attacks when I am just trying to respectfully disseminate information that is asked for in regards to alternative treatments -- treatments that I actually have personal experience with and interest in.
It's no secret that health is my passion. That will not end. But my posting on the boards is becoming a source of contention and division, and the bullies will not stop--I've tried.
It's not fair to our Semi-Colon community. They deserve better behavior. They deserve the freedom to ask any question without fear and deserve the respect that their thread will not be hijacked with personal attacks and hateful discourse.
Today I lost a dear friend and mentor to ovarian cancer. She just had her surgery last month. She was part of our bike club--and she was in her 80's! Her zest for life and love for all was so apparent. Yet, today she is gone from this earth. And to think and say that I would laugh at her dying is reprehensible.
I am hoping by removing the target (me), the bullies will become bored and move on leaving the boards to blossom again in love and support for all. Much like it was before, for the better part of the past 10 years.
It is fitting that I bow out on the anniversary of the day I joined up. It's been a great gig, like I said.
To those who have extended the hand of friendship, I appreciate the love and support. I carry a bit of you all with me, and keep you in my prayers. Thank you so much.
Keep Juicing!!
peace, emily the juice chick (((((((((Semi-Colons)))))))))
0
Comments
-
YIKES !
So you're going to leave me here with a bull's eye on my back, all alone?
Youse gotsta' do what youse gotsta' do, sweetie! We talked "off-board",
and you know that we all will miss you dearly here.
The information you provided was helpful to so many, and so difficult to
find elsewhere. I hope you check your PM box from time to time for
those that can use your first-hand experience.
(I'll see you off-line!)
Very best of health!
John0 -
I must agree with Gail.....
You were always a beacon for me in a very murky world, dear Emily....
I, too, remember feeling so lost...and there you were...along with spongebob, and scouty, and many others....and Mark, who I met for the first and last time in Nashville (a lesson learned about the fragility of life, and the need to treat others with respect and care)...
Congrats on the 10 years!!!! WHAT a milestone!!!!
I send my hugs to you, dear friend, and wish you well!
Hugs from a VERY grateful semi-colon....Kathi0 -
Don't post too often
Emily,
I don't post too often. I tend to take on more than I can manage in my 24-hour days and as a result, I am not as useful a member of this group as I would like. I think about what my level of participation might be 10 years out (God willing). I don't think that I would be posting then as much as you have. You have continued to be a support and fountain of information for this group, despite the fact that you are so far out and despite the fact that you are probably even busier than me. I thank you for that. Your posts have always been well thought out and are not cursory in nature. I have derived personal benefit as I have picked up many of your suggestions in my own life. I am three years into this and I still juice and do certain supplements. You and a few others have been a wonderful source of information and I thank you for that. I know for a fact that I would have never have started my juicing regimen if it hadn't been for you.
Very simply, I believe that cancer results in a faulty immune system. To think that infusing one's body with organic juiced fruits and vegetables isn't better to enhance one's one immune system than eating a Snickers and a Big Mac is just ridiculous. I recommend Food Nation as good reading material for anyone. You helped me get to this point. It is not lost on me that some resort to attacks on you and I haven't quite figured out why. But in addition to time fators, that venom is a factor in not participating as much. The environment here has certainly changed in the past three years I have been here.
Best wishes to you in all your endeavors, big and small.
Amy0 -
I am disappointed/saddened
I am disappointed/saddened that you are leaving the Board. I hope you reconsider--maybe with a little time and space?
I LOVE reading the posts/threads on alternative treatments. Cancer is vicious and changeable, so everything that we learn is important. I also like the intelligent rebuttals and questions, as long as they are not mean spirited and I do not indulge the cranks.
Hope to see more, not less of you Emily. As one mother to another, your posts are important to me.0 -
John, don't you even THINKJohn23 said:YIKES !
So you're going to leave me here with a bull's eye on my back, all alone?
Youse gotsta' do what youse gotsta' do, sweetie! We talked "off-board",
and you know that we all will miss you dearly here.
The information you provided was helpful to so many, and so difficult to
find elsewhere. I hope you check your PM box from time to time for
those that can use your first-hand experience.
(I'll see you off-line!)
Very best of health!
John
John, don't you even THINK about leaving!!!!!0 -
Thank You for your Convictions and Sharing
First Congratulations on the 10 years. You are such an inspiration. I found this board after I did Folfox but I used breathing, imagery and relaxation during chemo instead of anti nausea meds during the 5FU phase of Folfox. When I finished Folfox the Integrative Medicine Nurse at Mayo Rochester encouraged me to step it up a notch to prevent recurrence with Tai Chi. I was already doing the Chemo Diet which was the Med. Diet I had been eating for years.
You provided the inspiration for me and so many others for increasing our nutrition with juicing. I sent you a CSN email because I had a few personal questions.
Hope you feel like joining us again as Integrative Medicine becomes part of the total Cancer Treatment Program. Everyone makes choices along the way in our journey through life you were there to provide the information not provided for many on this board.
NB0 -
This makes me sad...
I only recently joined this forum, and I'm sorry to see this level of conflict among people who should be natural allies. Regardless of what route we choose in terms of treatments, we are all fellow warriors in the battle against cancer. I personally do not do a lot of the alternative options, but I do some, mixed with more traditional choices. I like hearing about all the different possibilities, and then picking and choosing which bits work for me. What others choose to do, or not do, has no bearing on my choices. Another person's decisions neither negate nor affirm my own. Why in the world would folks waste precious energy arguing about this? I'm just sorry to have any voices silenced in a community like this...I think the more information that gets put out there, whether alternative or traditional in nature, the better it is for all of us (but maybe that's just the geeky librarian in me). Ann0 -
I am sorry you are choosing
I am sorry you are choosing to leave. I hope that you take with you only the good memories of here and none of the bad. I remember my very 1st post here in June 2009 and I will always cherish the memories of those who reached out to me and helped calm my fears. They are angels, some still on Earth and others not. We are like a family, that sometimes fights and says things we really wish we had not, it is not always easy to see the intent behind a post. But I wish you peace and good health always!!
Good luck in your journey!!
-Chris0 -
Oh, dear...
Oh, my dear Emily.
I have tried to tell you how inspiring and lovely I find you.I fear I have lost out to negativity. I am very sad about that. I want to ask you to stay or take a break and come back at a later time. I will miss your lovely face so much!
It's selfish of me to ask you to stay, if you're feeling bullied or stalked. But if you are leaving because you think it will stop the negative comments, you might as well stay. There's always going to be a negative comment here and there.
I value what you have brought to the board, and I hope that you will still be here. If not,I would love to connect with you via facebook (Gail Hedge Keefe) or email (ilyish@hotmail.com.
Love you!
*hugs*
Gail0 -
Em
You've helped SO many on this site and I'm very grateful for all you've done. I believe it IS important to get different experiences from people especially since no one KNOWS what causes cancer. We all have our theories, suspicions, and personal beliefs but that is all they are. It's especially impressive (to me) that even though you've been clear for a long time that you've stayed to offer your help via your experiences as to how you dealt with cancer. Many people seem to get better, then they get lost. For whatever reason, they seem to not want to be reminded that they had cancer or maybe they feel they have nothing to offer. We all deal with cancer in our own way and that's fine. It does seem to be a shame when they likely DO have something to offer others.
I certainly understand your reasons for leaving. One would think that since we all have cancer (or most of us had cancer) that there would be a comradarie amongst us where we'd want to work together to help others. Sadly, it turns out that's not always the case, especially if you go against the grain. I have to chuckle how some people can easily accept a higher power without any proof at all, yet if you mention that juicing helped cure your cancer they want a panel to review the case and even then it's often treated with extreme skepticism. Why the concept that there could be more than one way to treat cancer is hard for some to grasp is, well, hard to grasp.
This site has changed in the 6 years that I've been here. Progress has been made with how we treat cancer yet the site has seemed to digress with how we treat each other.
Thank you Em for all you've done.
I will stay in touch with you for sure...
{{{hugs}}}
-phil0 -
Love God/alternative stuffPhillieG said:Em
You've helped SO many on this site and I'm very grateful for all you've done. I believe it IS important to get different experiences from people especially since no one KNOWS what causes cancer. We all have our theories, suspicions, and personal beliefs but that is all they are. It's especially impressive (to me) that even though you've been clear for a long time that you've stayed to offer your help via your experiences as to how you dealt with cancer. Many people seem to get better, then they get lost. For whatever reason, they seem to not want to be reminded that they had cancer or maybe they feel they have nothing to offer. We all deal with cancer in our own way and that's fine. It does seem to be a shame when they likely DO have something to offer others.
I certainly understand your reasons for leaving. One would think that since we all have cancer (or most of us had cancer) that there would be a comradarie amongst us where we'd want to work together to help others. Sadly, it turns out that's not always the case, especially if you go against the grain. I have to chuckle how some people can easily accept a higher power without any proof at all, yet if you mention that juicing helped cure your cancer they want a panel to review the case and even then it's often treated with extreme skepticism. Why the concept that there could be more than one way to treat cancer is hard for some to grasp is, well, hard to grasp.
This site has changed in the 6 years that I've been here. Progress has been made with how we treat cancer yet the site has seemed to digress with how we treat each other.
Thank you Em for all you've done.
I will stay in touch with you for sure...
{{{hugs}}}
-phil
and anything in between
Emily sorry you are bowing out, hope it won't be for to long. Will see you on facebook in the meantime. 0 -
WOW
I sure hope I can type amongst the tears my dear friend!
I so completely understand where you are coming from. I never dreamed cyberbullying would actually happen on a cancer support board. WHO KNEW!!!
But sweetie, I so thank you for helping me learn there were things I could actually control and help within my body. I had no idea way back then.
There is no doubt in my mind that without you on this site, I would most likely be dead today. The opinionated bullies will never understand that since they are so blinded by their opinions and hatreds.
I thank you from the depths of my soul honey and to quote my of my favorite movies "it has been an honor doing battle with you".
I find it very appropriate that my last post on this board will be to you!
My love and sincere thanks always,
Lisa P.0 -
2bEmily
Hey gal:)
We missed you at the karaoke bar in Chicago...but knew you had to split...perhaps I'll get another opportunity to butcher a note for you at the next gig:)
It was great meeting you - knew who you were right away. You give the best hugs! Unfortunately, due to our proximity from the main event, I did not have enough of an opportunity to get to talk to you enough and time flew by fast.
I wasn't sure what to expect when I met you - was not sure how you would receive me. But, I found you to be very warm and inviting. You treated me nicely and I appreciate the time we did get to spend....Lisa too...we had a nice chat on the boat tour and at the Blue Frog.
I came away with a better understanding of both of you and I'm glad I got to meet both of you. The years you have invested on the board often go unappreciated. I can honestly say that it takes some kind of commitment to be here on the board daily, weekly or whatever and contribute in a meaningful way. It can definitely take alot out of you.
So, I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to do that. Congratulations to 10-years on the board and to 10-years with a clear status. Monumental achievements if one just steps back and takes a strong look at all that entails. It's easy for folks to lose sight of those kind of things.
Those of us that serve here on a regular basis when we have or don't have cancer is essential to the growth of this community. I remember seeing some new folks asking questions and the other new folks not having the experience to answer those questions, so you could just see the void in the conversation.
You were here when the board started and the changes you must have seen over the years...I know what I've seen during my tenure here. The board is bigger than any one person can be - by its very nature it has to be. If we're doing it right, then we must serve our time and write our chapters in the book and then one day, pass the torch along to the next generation of cancer fighters. It's hard for me to see myself still being alive in 10-years, much less still posting. But who knows?
I've often wondered how many folks that I grew up with would still be around? I've lost a bunch of friends here as well.
I've always appreciated hearing all sides to cancer and people's approach to it. There is always much to learn, even if we don't act on it right away. It makes an imprint and gives one an idea that they may not have had before.
I've just got this feeling that we will see you again....this place is like a train wreck and as hard as we try, we can't help turning our heads and coming back to check it out.
-Craig0 -
Thank you
I would love, one day, to shake your hand. You do know you saved my husbands life right? And probably mine too. There are no words to express how I really feel about... everything...the journey we've been on... And the role you played. You changed my life Emily, and I will be forever grateful. Honestly, I will never ever forget.0 -
Emily,
Emily,
You have been special to me since I joined the board almost 3 years ago. Your encouraging spirit has lifted me up numerous times. I will stay in touch with you so I won't say good bye. I am sad that new people will miss your tender spirit, your encouraging words and your very important story. **** knows all about your story as we have talked about you and Scouty often.
Go in peace my friend. Breath the fresh air, enjoy your lovely family, rest in God's light.
With love and aloha,
Kathleen0 -
Hey Emily,
I've just posted
Hey Emily,
I've just posted a message to 'Scouty' Lisa and want to say essentially the same to you
I'm coming up to the 9th anniversary of my diagnosis. You have been a wonderful friend to me during my journey. I don't want to loose touch. I'm not very good at PM but would love to exchange email addresses with you.
I support your decision. I often think about how frightened I was when I came to this board as a newcomer and how much love and support I got at that time. I worry so much that newcomers today might be put off by the b*sh*t going around these days and really miss out.
Live strong!
Tara0 -
dearest peaceful juicing chick
just don't go, i love you, we all do, even those that maybe reject your approach unkindly.
obviously they don't know they love you, they may never.
you have dared to be different, when it was less trendy to be different.
your story helped me so much, it still does.
we are all dealing with the challenge of crc, and the emotions and friendships around it as well. some don't deal with crc challenges with grace and style and patience. i have occaisionally been less then sensitive in my desire to share info.
i understand, where you are coming from, all i can say is thanks from the bottom of my heart.
you are an inspiration, go if you must with love. come back if you can or want to.
noone can replace your unique contribution, health and juicing and peace.
i have been so focussed on radical alternatives, if i posted here it would get me banned.
thats why i am doing my own blog now and not posting controversial things here, except with the occaisional link.
from where i am at, fighting my likely recurrence you are positively simply mainstream commonsense cancer treatment. variety is the spice of life.
just peace back at you now and always.
hugs,
pete0 -
sad
Emily,
This is so very sad to read. Because of you - and the other Emily - I have learned about juicing. You have been one of my inspirations here and with all of the reading I have been doing I believe that you were truly ahead of your time ten years ago. I wish you health and a lifetime of love with your children . . . . . and grandchildren to come.
I do hope that you leave your past posts behind so that those of us still here - and others yet to come here - will have the benefit of your knowledge.
yoga jo0
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