Hpv and judgement
Comments
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AngelaAngela_K said:Support groups
Shirlann ~ I'm so sorry. I've heard many times that cancer support groups are mostly boob friendly and that's because of the statistics . . .and because of the exceptional marketing of breast cancer awareness -- it's easier to talk about openly.
A support group should offer just that, SUPPORT. This 'head lady' needs some more guidance regarding her role.
Whether you go back or not is totally up to you and it's understandable if you chose not to. But it could also be a teachable moment. . .an opportunity to talk about the stigma, an opportunity to talk about HPV, an opporunity to talk about the symptoms and brutal treatment side effects. An opportunity to empower yourself.
(And as a side note: I don't care who or what ANYone has sex with, in any oriface of the body. No one 'deserves' cancer.}
Just a few moments ago I mentioned to my husband your post and breast cancer survivors dominating some support groups. And he said, "Lucky for you, I've always been an **** man." :}
Happy dia de los muertos!!
Your hubs comment to you has me laughing hysterically! He sounds like quite a guy who loves you dearly.
I think it's very unfortunate that this country has become so obsessed with boobs and breast cancer, as it puts other types of cancer out of the minds of so many people. I have had many occasions when I've told someone I had cancer and they automatically assume it was breast cancer, judging from the stares at my chest and the questions they ask. The surprised look on their face when I reveal that it was actually **** cancer is too funny sometimes! I have to laugh and am tempted to ask them which they'd rather have if they had to give up a body part--their boob(s) or their ****! To me, that's a no-brainer.0 -
AngelaAngela_K said:Support groups
Shirlann ~ I'm so sorry. I've heard many times that cancer support groups are mostly boob friendly and that's because of the statistics . . .and because of the exceptional marketing of breast cancer awareness -- it's easier to talk about openly.
A support group should offer just that, SUPPORT. This 'head lady' needs some more guidance regarding her role.
Whether you go back or not is totally up to you and it's understandable if you chose not to. But it could also be a teachable moment. . .an opportunity to talk about the stigma, an opportunity to talk about HPV, an opporunity to talk about the symptoms and brutal treatment side effects. An opportunity to empower yourself.
(And as a side note: I don't care who or what ANYone has sex with, in any oriface of the body. No one 'deserves' cancer.}
Just a few moments ago I mentioned to my husband your post and breast cancer survivors dominating some support groups. And he said, "Lucky for you, I've always been an **** man." :}
Happy dia de los muertos!!
Your husband is funny i love that .My husband would say the same.He is a **** man too.Loves my butt lol .I have to stand up for myself this is not like me .Some poeple want you too feel bad about yourself because you have anal cancer.I shouldn't have even thought of telling them i never had anal sex .I was thinking of what someone had said to a lady that i know.She ask her what kind of cancer she had.She told her anal cancer .THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR HAVING SEX IN THE **** She didnt even know this person .And it was said to her another time after that.I have never been to a support groups before.I didn't think i could do it but i did .I;m going to go back and try it again.Thank you , shirley0 -
Anal cancer and hpv awarenessshirlann54 said:Angela
Your husband is funny i love that .My husband would say the same.He is a **** man too.Loves my butt lol .I have to stand up for myself this is not like me .Some poeple want you too feel bad about yourself because you have anal cancer.I shouldn't have even thought of telling them i never had anal sex .I was thinking of what someone had said to a lady that i know.She ask her what kind of cancer she had.She told her anal cancer .THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR HAVING SEX IN THE **** She didnt even know this person .And it was said to her another time after that.I have never been to a support groups before.I didn't think i could do it but i did .I;m going to go back and try it again.Thank you , shirley
I would love to go to schools and educate young people about hpv and the long term ramifications to themselves and others that they may infect. Yes, I would have no problem with that, and if some people in my social circle found out due to that that would be fine by me.
I live in Los Angeles, the land of judgement. This is definitely not utopia... Sometimes I sit and smile at the people who have stabbed me in the back over and over again. That's what we do here. I am certainly not going to help somebody load the gun, if I don't have to.
When I tell people that I have had cancer, it is usually due to the fact that they havent been seeing me. I don't feel that every Tom, **** and Harry needs to know, it's location. I wonder why people even ask, don't you? I never ask personal questions, I usually let people tell me. I grew up in a small town in NJ worked in NEw York City and then moved to LA. I have traveled extensively in Europe and Mexico and the USA, I have a pretty good basis to make this judgement about La. If you go north or south the people are sweet as pie. A poll recently taken puts LA as the rudest city to visit in the country. I love it here, for the weather, the surfing and it's close proximity to many things I enjoy. I have to admit I have a very sensitive nature and can cry over a Hallmark commercial.
I am certainly on board with the bus lady. Maybe we could all organize a format that we could use to bring awareness to the schools thru the Anal Foundation?0 -
phoebesnowPhoebesnow said:Anal cancer and hpv awareness
I would love to go to schools and educate young people about hpv and the long term ramifications to themselves and others that they may infect. Yes, I would have no problem with that, and if some people in my social circle found out due to that that would be fine by me.
I live in Los Angeles, the land of judgement. This is definitely not utopia... Sometimes I sit and smile at the people who have stabbed me in the back over and over again. That's what we do here. I am certainly not going to help somebody load the gun, if I don't have to.
When I tell people that I have had cancer, it is usually due to the fact that they havent been seeing me. I don't feel that every Tom, **** and Harry needs to know, it's location. I wonder why people even ask, don't you? I never ask personal questions, I usually let people tell me. I grew up in a small town in NJ worked in NEw York City and then moved to LA. I have traveled extensively in Europe and Mexico and the USA, I have a pretty good basis to make this judgement about La. If you go north or south the people are sweet as pie. A poll recently taken puts LA as the rudest city to visit in the country. I love it here, for the weather, the surfing and it's close proximity to many things I enjoy. I have to admit I have a very sensitive nature and can cry over a Hallmark commercial.
I am certainly on board with the bus lady. Maybe we could all organize a format that we could use to bring awareness to the schools thru the Anal Foundation?
That would be a good thing to do go to these schools and educate the teens about hpv .I lived in Santa Ana in 72' for about a year.I loved the weather there too but didnt care for the people.If someone ask were your cancer is do you tell them?If i'm out and run in to someone i dont tell them i had cancer.0 -
Hpvshirlann54 said:phoebesnow
That would be a good thing to do go to these schools and educate the teens about hpv .I lived in Santa Ana in 72' for about a year.I loved the weather there too but didnt care for the people.If someone ask were your cancer is do you tell them?If i'm out and run in to someone i dont tell them i had cancer.
No generally I will not tell. Thanks for your support Shirley. I always feel warmth coming from you. I tell some people about the cancer, but not what kind, if they keep pestering I say colon or rectal.0 -
Hi, I have anal cancerPhoebesnow said:Hpv
No generally I will not tell. Thanks for your support Shirley. I always feel warmth coming from you. I tell some people about the cancer, but not what kind, if they keep pestering I say colon or rectal.
Shoot, I tell. I'm not embarrassed over the type of cancer I have. I have no reason to be embarrassed. (Even if I had gotten it from anal sex, which I didn't, even if I had HPV, which to my knowledge I don't, my one factor that I know, I smoke.)
I didn't choose my cancer, I didn't pick its location. I do have it though and I will not allow others to dictate how I feel about myself or what I have.
I have Psoriasis as well, have had it since the age of 3. Judgmental peers made my childhood a living hell. Will they make my adult life one as well. HELL NO!
I didn't come into my own until after High School, my ego was built over jeers and tears, and at the age of 45, I refuse to willingly go back into that box. You want to make me embarrassed over what I have, you're going to need a bigger arsenal than associating my cancer to/with sex. (Yeah, I dipped into embarrassed, but I'm done. I didn't ask for it, I didn't earn it, but I do have it. And the more I hear about how others are fairing with it and the stigma attached, the more determined I am to stand up, bend over, and point them-those with a problem with it- in the right direction.)
Maybe we could adopt a personal slogan, something to think about when others give us that look, or we see them flinch and want to dismiss us.
(Speaking in public, the advice is always, imagine your audience nude. Well, running into that look, feeling depressed over someone elses opinion of you? ..Then think about asking them...
"Have you ever kissed a boo boo to make it better? Yes? Good, then you have practice cause you can kiss my ****.")
I am who I am, I even tell people the causes of anal cancer (that the medical community associates with it) let them make their determinations on how I got it. But I want to look them in the eye while they are digesting it and coming to their decisions, and I don't want them dismissing it. They need to think about it and discuss it as much as I do. And the more people thinking about it, the less it will be a taboo topic.
Anal: I considered myself anal for most of my life. (It isn't a new word in my personal dictionary, it just got applied to another aspect of my life.)
My chemo doc talked down to me when she first met me (I'm not sure if it was the type of cancer I had or if she didn't know my brain span) either way, she's my biggest supporter now. (She's my go to doc, and she takes that position seriously and actually seems honored that I chose her for that role.)
I'm coming back into my own, and I'm not going to let others opinions (even medical ones) get to me or make me feel anything about myself that I don't choose to feel about myself. (I didn't let them win when I was kid, and I'm too old to give them a second chance at stealing something from myself that can't be taken unless I willingly give it up.)0 -
You go! I feel the sameAnn_i_ said:Hi, I have anal cancer
Shoot, I tell. I'm not embarrassed over the type of cancer I have. I have no reason to be embarrassed. (Even if I had gotten it from anal sex, which I didn't, even if I had HPV, which to my knowledge I don't, my one factor that I know, I smoke.)
I didn't choose my cancer, I didn't pick its location. I do have it though and I will not allow others to dictate how I feel about myself or what I have.
I have Psoriasis as well, have had it since the age of 3. Judgmental peers made my childhood a living hell. Will they make my adult life one as well. HELL NO!
I didn't come into my own until after High School, my ego was built over jeers and tears, and at the age of 45, I refuse to willingly go back into that box. You want to make me embarrassed over what I have, you're going to need a bigger arsenal than associating my cancer to/with sex. (Yeah, I dipped into embarrassed, but I'm done. I didn't ask for it, I didn't earn it, but I do have it. And the more I hear about how others are fairing with it and the stigma attached, the more determined I am to stand up, bend over, and point them-those with a problem with it- in the right direction.)
Maybe we could adopt a personal slogan, something to think about when others give us that look, or we see them flinch and want to dismiss us.
(Speaking in public, the advice is always, imagine your audience nude. Well, running into that look, feeling depressed over someone elses opinion of you? ..Then think about asking them...
"Have you ever kissed a boo boo to make it better? Yes? Good, then you have practice cause you can kiss my ****.")
I am who I am, I even tell people the causes of anal cancer (that the medical community associates with it) let them make their determinations on how I got it. But I want to look them in the eye while they are digesting it and coming to their decisions, and I don't want them dismissing it. They need to think about it and discuss it as much as I do. And the more people thinking about it, the less it will be a taboo topic.
Anal: I considered myself anal for most of my life. (It isn't a new word in my personal dictionary, it just got applied to another aspect of my life.)
My chemo doc talked down to me when she first met me (I'm not sure if it was the type of cancer I had or if she didn't know my brain span) either way, she's my biggest supporter now. (She's my go to doc, and she takes that position seriously and actually seems honored that I chose her for that role.)
I'm coming back into my own, and I'm not going to let others opinions (even medical ones) get to me or make me feel anything about myself that I don't choose to feel about myself. (I didn't let them win when I was kid, and I'm too old to give them a second chance at stealing something from myself that can't be taken unless I willingly give it up.)
You go! I feel the same way. The doc who did my colonoscopy told me this was mostly a gay man's cancer with a chuckle. I am a 60 plus mother/ grandmother, so that negates that, and anyway, who says one group of people over another should get this cancer? Will see him one more time to tell him he's a **** and then never again.......
BTW, a lot of doc's talk simpler to patients til they get a read on them.....you must have "read" well, LOL. Lorie cheering you on0 -
AngelaAngela_K said:Support groups
Shirlann ~ I'm so sorry. I've heard many times that cancer support groups are mostly boob friendly and that's because of the statistics . . .and because of the exceptional marketing of breast cancer awareness -- it's easier to talk about openly.
A support group should offer just that, SUPPORT. This 'head lady' needs some more guidance regarding her role.
Whether you go back or not is totally up to you and it's understandable if you chose not to. But it could also be a teachable moment. . .an opportunity to talk about the stigma, an opportunity to talk about HPV, an opporunity to talk about the symptoms and brutal treatment side effects. An opportunity to empower yourself.
(And as a side note: I don't care who or what ANYone has sex with, in any oriface of the body. No one 'deserves' cancer.}
Just a few moments ago I mentioned to my husband your post and breast cancer survivors dominating some support groups. And he said, "Lucky for you, I've always been an **** man." :}
Happy dia de los muertos!!
I hope you hang on to that wonderful man of yours for his humor alone!! You both make me laugh alot!0 -
Right on!!!
All your comments are great!!! When people find out I'm a cancer survivor their eyes go directly to my breasts like they are trying to figure out if they are real or not. I've gotten used to it and just let them guess. I was told by a coworker one time to quit letting my fiancee go to the rodeo. I didn't get it at first, but later realized what she meant. Oh boy was I pissed off! I wasn't HPV positive and was the subject of an anal cancer study. I was prior Farrah and there wasn't much info out there. The doctors told me that I probably got it from a sunburn. ????? I don't know why I got it, it doesn't really matter. I survived it! I could care less about what others think! I'm enjoying my second chance at life!!!! Leave it up to me to get a REAL PAIN IN THE ****!!!LOL0
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