He is dying now

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  • jimwins
    jimwins Member Posts: 2,107
    KateNTx said:

    Ric Passed at 6pm Central
    Ric Passed at 6pm Central Today. Oddly enough, it was AMAZING. I hurt less tonight than I have for the last several days. The moment we shared Just before he passed was so incredibly beautiful that it is indescribable. I am left with a sense of peace I never expected. He was crying to be leaving me, not from pain, and when I told him (and his best friend did) that I would be ok, he gave me the most incredible smile, opened his eyes wide for the first time since Friday, looked right at me, and smiled and then the light in his eyes just slipped away. It was incredibly peaceful, especially compared to how violent and delusional he was during his last fully conscious day. It took most of the pain of that away.
    I know now that he lived the last 4 days because of our love (medically he should have passed Saturday night), and I am so blessed to have been his wife.
    How incredibly blessed I am to have been with him to the very end.

    Sympathies and joy
    We are all blessed in your sharing of
    this beautiful story.

    Thank you


    (A Pueblo Indian Prayer)

    Hold On

    Hold on to what is good,
    Even if it's a handful of earth.
    Hold on to what you believe,
    Even if it's a tree that stands by itself.
    Hold on to what you must do,
    Even if it's a long way from here.
    Hold on to your life,
    Even if it's easier to let go.
    Hold on to my hand,
    Even if someday I'll be gone away from you.
  • ketziah35
    ketziah35 Member Posts: 1,145
    KateNTx said:

    Ric Passed at 6pm Central
    Ric Passed at 6pm Central Today. Oddly enough, it was AMAZING. I hurt less tonight than I have for the last several days. The moment we shared Just before he passed was so incredibly beautiful that it is indescribable. I am left with a sense of peace I never expected. He was crying to be leaving me, not from pain, and when I told him (and his best friend did) that I would be ok, he gave me the most incredible smile, opened his eyes wide for the first time since Friday, looked right at me, and smiled and then the light in his eyes just slipped away. It was incredibly peaceful, especially compared to how violent and delusional he was during his last fully conscious day. It took most of the pain of that away.
    I know now that he lived the last 4 days because of our love (medically he should have passed Saturday night), and I am so blessed to have been his wife.
    How incredibly blessed I am to have been with him to the very end.

    I am so sorry that Ric had
    I am so sorry that Ric had to leave you, but happy that you got to spend this time with him. May his last gestures bring comfort to you.
  • Barbara53
    Barbara53 Member Posts: 652
    KateNTx said:

    Ric Passed at 6pm Central
    Ric Passed at 6pm Central Today. Oddly enough, it was AMAZING. I hurt less tonight than I have for the last several days. The moment we shared Just before he passed was so incredibly beautiful that it is indescribable. I am left with a sense of peace I never expected. He was crying to be leaving me, not from pain, and when I told him (and his best friend did) that I would be ok, he gave me the most incredible smile, opened his eyes wide for the first time since Friday, looked right at me, and smiled and then the light in his eyes just slipped away. It was incredibly peaceful, especially compared to how violent and delusional he was during his last fully conscious day. It took most of the pain of that away.
    I know now that he lived the last 4 days because of our love (medically he should have passed Saturday night), and I am so blessed to have been his wife.
    How incredibly blessed I am to have been with him to the very end.

    beautiful transition
    I am so relieved to hear that Ric's transition was so full of Grace. I'm so sorry for your loss, but join you in the lightening of your burden. Yes, being loved well is the best of all blessings. Hugs and more...
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    KateNTx said:

    Ric Passed at 6pm Central
    Ric Passed at 6pm Central Today. Oddly enough, it was AMAZING. I hurt less tonight than I have for the last several days. The moment we shared Just before he passed was so incredibly beautiful that it is indescribable. I am left with a sense of peace I never expected. He was crying to be leaving me, not from pain, and when I told him (and his best friend did) that I would be ok, he gave me the most incredible smile, opened his eyes wide for the first time since Friday, looked right at me, and smiled and then the light in his eyes just slipped away. It was incredibly peaceful, especially compared to how violent and delusional he was during his last fully conscious day. It took most of the pain of that away.
    I know now that he lived the last 4 days because of our love (medically he should have passed Saturday night), and I am so blessed to have been his wife.
    How incredibly blessed I am to have been with him to the very end.

    Glad but Sorry
    I am glad you were able to experience some peace and that Ric was too. In the next few days and months you will have hard times but can hold on to those moments of peace to help you through them. Please allow yourself to grieve. It is a process and takes time. I can highly recommend the Grief and Bereavement board here. It helped me a great deal and there are some great people there who can offer you support. Take care of yourself now. Fay
  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member

    Glad but Sorry
    I am glad you were able to experience some peace and that Ric was too. In the next few days and months you will have hard times but can hold on to those moments of peace to help you through them. Please allow yourself to grieve. It is a process and takes time. I can highly recommend the Grief and Bereavement board here. It helped me a great deal and there are some great people there who can offer you support. Take care of yourself now. Fay

    Kate I'm so sorry
    That Ric passed away, but relieved he went peacefully. Take time for yourself when all settles down. Hugs for you, dear lady.
    Jennifer
  • Daisylin
    Daisylin Member Posts: 365

    Kate I'm so sorry
    That Ric passed away, but relieved he went peacefully. Take time for yourself when all settles down. Hugs for you, dear lady.
    Jennifer

    my sympathy to you Kate
    Kate, I've read over your previous posts as well as this most recent one, and I am so terribly sad to hear of Ric's passing. I am glad that you had some tender wonderful moments. I hope this will ease the pain of the last little bit of his life. I can feel the love in your posts, and he obviously felt the same for you. Cancer is a nasty cruel beast, that takes away so much from us. I am again, so sorry for your loss Katie, be well
    Chantal
  • KateNTx
    KateNTx Member Posts: 39
    Daisylin said:

    my sympathy to you Kate
    Kate, I've read over your previous posts as well as this most recent one, and I am so terribly sad to hear of Ric's passing. I am glad that you had some tender wonderful moments. I hope this will ease the pain of the last little bit of his life. I can feel the love in your posts, and he obviously felt the same for you. Cancer is a nasty cruel beast, that takes away so much from us. I am again, so sorry for your loss Katie, be well
    Chantal

    Today
    Today was mostly a good day. I feel like I did most of my Acute grieving as I watched Ric die. I was actually able to make plans to travel with some of our friends (who were his friends before he and I met) and feel ok about trying to find some kind of future for me. Not feeling like I have an actual plan or anything, just open to the idea that I can make plans that include Ric's memory without feeling like I only have to remember the ending of his life. I'm sure I will continue to be hit with waves of all-consuming pain, but for today, I was able to plan and even enjoy time with friends.
    I think it helps that with Ric, there was nothing unresolved between us. Nothing we needed to say, or needed to hear. The look he gave me before he died said more than a million words ever could. Being with him like that was as amazing, and as inspiring, and even as beautiful as watching a child be born.
    His Best Friend, who was also with him, and I have tried to talk about it, but we can't find words to describe it, and trying to explain it to anyone who wasn't there is impossible. All I can say is he was at complete peace, and filled with Love and knew that he was completely loved. I don't know how someone without any ability to speak and only seconds to live could convey all that, but I know Ric did.
    If anyone else has been with their loved one at the moment of their passing, maybe they can tell me if this is "normal" from what I can find as far as stories from Hospice workers in various forums and media, that kind of death is a gift the person leaving gives to those he/she leaves behind. I feel like Ric hung on to life those last 4 days to be able to be with me through the initial impact of my grief for him, and left me with that smile to ease my pain, because he was going to a place where there isn't any pain and he didn't want to leave me hurting as much as I was while watching him die.
    Ric was pure Love in the last moments of his life, and as close as I have ever stood to seeing God. I still don't know why God wouldn't heal Ric and give us more time together, but the Love I saw on his face as he "told" me goodbye was pure and devine, and unspeakable. I get the whole "we see through a glass darkly" thing now, because for those last seconds of Ric's life, I saw Heaven in his love and in his eyes.
    While I intend to live as long as my body is able, my soul can't WAIT to be in that Love again. It was sacred, holy, and complete, and I was blessed to catch a glimpse of it, and have it to guide me home when my time on Earth is over.
    Love,
    Kate
  • ahamric
    ahamric Member Posts: 92
    KateNTx said:

    Today
    Today was mostly a good day. I feel like I did most of my Acute grieving as I watched Ric die. I was actually able to make plans to travel with some of our friends (who were his friends before he and I met) and feel ok about trying to find some kind of future for me. Not feeling like I have an actual plan or anything, just open to the idea that I can make plans that include Ric's memory without feeling like I only have to remember the ending of his life. I'm sure I will continue to be hit with waves of all-consuming pain, but for today, I was able to plan and even enjoy time with friends.
    I think it helps that with Ric, there was nothing unresolved between us. Nothing we needed to say, or needed to hear. The look he gave me before he died said more than a million words ever could. Being with him like that was as amazing, and as inspiring, and even as beautiful as watching a child be born.
    His Best Friend, who was also with him, and I have tried to talk about it, but we can't find words to describe it, and trying to explain it to anyone who wasn't there is impossible. All I can say is he was at complete peace, and filled with Love and knew that he was completely loved. I don't know how someone without any ability to speak and only seconds to live could convey all that, but I know Ric did.
    If anyone else has been with their loved one at the moment of their passing, maybe they can tell me if this is "normal" from what I can find as far as stories from Hospice workers in various forums and media, that kind of death is a gift the person leaving gives to those he/she leaves behind. I feel like Ric hung on to life those last 4 days to be able to be with me through the initial impact of my grief for him, and left me with that smile to ease my pain, because he was going to a place where there isn't any pain and he didn't want to leave me hurting as much as I was while watching him die.
    Ric was pure Love in the last moments of his life, and as close as I have ever stood to seeing God. I still don't know why God wouldn't heal Ric and give us more time together, but the Love I saw on his face as he "told" me goodbye was pure and devine, and unspeakable. I get the whole "we see through a glass darkly" thing now, because for those last seconds of Ric's life, I saw Heaven in his love and in his eyes.
    While I intend to live as long as my body is able, my soul can't WAIT to be in that Love again. It was sacred, holy, and complete, and I was blessed to catch a glimpse of it, and have it to guide me home when my time on Earth is over.
    Love,
    Kate

    Wow..thats all I can say.
    Wow..thats all I can say. You are truly an inspiration. Your strength is amazing. I pray if I ever have to let another loved one go I have the clarity that you have. Thank you for being you. God bless your family,I have you in my prayers this morning.
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    KateNTx said:

    Today
    Today was mostly a good day. I feel like I did most of my Acute grieving as I watched Ric die. I was actually able to make plans to travel with some of our friends (who were his friends before he and I met) and feel ok about trying to find some kind of future for me. Not feeling like I have an actual plan or anything, just open to the idea that I can make plans that include Ric's memory without feeling like I only have to remember the ending of his life. I'm sure I will continue to be hit with waves of all-consuming pain, but for today, I was able to plan and even enjoy time with friends.
    I think it helps that with Ric, there was nothing unresolved between us. Nothing we needed to say, or needed to hear. The look he gave me before he died said more than a million words ever could. Being with him like that was as amazing, and as inspiring, and even as beautiful as watching a child be born.
    His Best Friend, who was also with him, and I have tried to talk about it, but we can't find words to describe it, and trying to explain it to anyone who wasn't there is impossible. All I can say is he was at complete peace, and filled with Love and knew that he was completely loved. I don't know how someone without any ability to speak and only seconds to live could convey all that, but I know Ric did.
    If anyone else has been with their loved one at the moment of their passing, maybe they can tell me if this is "normal" from what I can find as far as stories from Hospice workers in various forums and media, that kind of death is a gift the person leaving gives to those he/she leaves behind. I feel like Ric hung on to life those last 4 days to be able to be with me through the initial impact of my grief for him, and left me with that smile to ease my pain, because he was going to a place where there isn't any pain and he didn't want to leave me hurting as much as I was while watching him die.
    Ric was pure Love in the last moments of his life, and as close as I have ever stood to seeing God. I still don't know why God wouldn't heal Ric and give us more time together, but the Love I saw on his face as he "told" me goodbye was pure and devine, and unspeakable. I get the whole "we see through a glass darkly" thing now, because for those last seconds of Ric's life, I saw Heaven in his love and in his eyes.
    While I intend to live as long as my body is able, my soul can't WAIT to be in that Love again. It was sacred, holy, and complete, and I was blessed to catch a glimpse of it, and have it to guide me home when my time on Earth is over.
    Love,
    Kate

    Healing
    I always say that Doug was not cured, but he was healed. Healing takes many forms. From what you have written, I can't help but believe that Ric, too, was healed. I wish you peace. Fay
  • chemosmoker
    chemosmoker Member Posts: 501
    KateNTx said:

    Today
    Today was mostly a good day. I feel like I did most of my Acute grieving as I watched Ric die. I was actually able to make plans to travel with some of our friends (who were his friends before he and I met) and feel ok about trying to find some kind of future for me. Not feeling like I have an actual plan or anything, just open to the idea that I can make plans that include Ric's memory without feeling like I only have to remember the ending of his life. I'm sure I will continue to be hit with waves of all-consuming pain, but for today, I was able to plan and even enjoy time with friends.
    I think it helps that with Ric, there was nothing unresolved between us. Nothing we needed to say, or needed to hear. The look he gave me before he died said more than a million words ever could. Being with him like that was as amazing, and as inspiring, and even as beautiful as watching a child be born.
    His Best Friend, who was also with him, and I have tried to talk about it, but we can't find words to describe it, and trying to explain it to anyone who wasn't there is impossible. All I can say is he was at complete peace, and filled with Love and knew that he was completely loved. I don't know how someone without any ability to speak and only seconds to live could convey all that, but I know Ric did.
    If anyone else has been with their loved one at the moment of their passing, maybe they can tell me if this is "normal" from what I can find as far as stories from Hospice workers in various forums and media, that kind of death is a gift the person leaving gives to those he/she leaves behind. I feel like Ric hung on to life those last 4 days to be able to be with me through the initial impact of my grief for him, and left me with that smile to ease my pain, because he was going to a place where there isn't any pain and he didn't want to leave me hurting as much as I was while watching him die.
    Ric was pure Love in the last moments of his life, and as close as I have ever stood to seeing God. I still don't know why God wouldn't heal Ric and give us more time together, but the Love I saw on his face as he "told" me goodbye was pure and devine, and unspeakable. I get the whole "we see through a glass darkly" thing now, because for those last seconds of Ric's life, I saw Heaven in his love and in his eyes.
    While I intend to live as long as my body is able, my soul can't WAIT to be in that Love again. It was sacred, holy, and complete, and I was blessed to catch a glimpse of it, and have it to guide me home when my time on Earth is over.
    Love,
    Kate

    WOW
    Kate.
    My heart goes out to you. Your strength is moving. I, too, know that Ric is at peace now, no more pain.

    I wish for you calm and peace as the coming days and months bring the swing of emotions that only those that hold true love in their hearts can possibly know.

    I wish for you strength and courage to face them with dignity.

    We are all STILL here for you, always.

    -Eric
  • DitZy2
    DitZy2 Member Posts: 38
    KateNTx said:

    Ric Passed at 6pm Central
    Ric Passed at 6pm Central Today. Oddly enough, it was AMAZING. I hurt less tonight than I have for the last several days. The moment we shared Just before he passed was so incredibly beautiful that it is indescribable. I am left with a sense of peace I never expected. He was crying to be leaving me, not from pain, and when I told him (and his best friend did) that I would be ok, he gave me the most incredible smile, opened his eyes wide for the first time since Friday, looked right at me, and smiled and then the light in his eyes just slipped away. It was incredibly peaceful, especially compared to how violent and delusional he was during his last fully conscious day. It took most of the pain of that away.
    I know now that he lived the last 4 days because of our love (medically he should have passed Saturday night), and I am so blessed to have been his wife.
    How incredibly blessed I am to have been with him to the very end.

    Your post brings me to tears
    The pain and the beauty of you losss brings back the memories of the loss of my sister. My deepest sympathies to you I am so sorry for you loss.

    I lost my sister Erica on 2/25/11 she was 4o yrs old. It was a heartwrenching time, 2 days before she died i was sitting holding her hand telling her we'd be together again, at that time she wasn't communicating at all but she woke up and gave me the sweetest smile. The day she died my youngest sister was with her and right before she passed she raised her arms and then a tear slipped down her cheek and she was gone. I like to believe it was a tear of joy to where she was going. Erica never cried about her condition the last 6 months of her life.

    Your story touched me so much I know we will be with out loved ones and I know they are in a better place! God has touched us through them!

    ((((Hugs to you)))))

    Diane
  • robertjuy
    robertjuy Member Posts: 45
    comment
    My father left us 12 years ago. 5 days before he died his spirit left. The pain was so unbarelble he told my sister that he was losing control and that it would be the last conversation. He was right, he screamed yelled, bit me, said horrible things. But remember, the person that is hurting you is not the one you love. It is an empty shell with a mind that has left for the afterlife. The body is left behind fueled by nothing but basic insticts. Chemo is not your fault. He's not there. Take care of the vessel and remember the mind and spirit has passed on.