need to vent i am tired

Been there,
doing that Bruce.

I think just about everyone that's fought and won this battle reaches a point of coming to grips with the reality of what we've been through... and yes, I feel like I could sleep a year and feel like my brain has just jogged 10 miles in 110 degree heat. It's called depression and post-traumatic stress syndrome.

Don't know if that's what's going on in your world Bruce, but I'm muddling through it in MY world.... if so, you're NOT alone

Ahh Heck
Their just busy pretending it never happened. Shoot, I was given the ole' your gonna die business from the onc and just about everybody else in the medical field, so I figured the family would rally round, and they did of course, for about a week, then they got bored and I found I was still cooking dinner, rousing them up for work, and cleaning house like usual, what the heck people??? I've only got so long to live and it's NORMAL???
So don't feel alone, denial is the best of the best for those that surround us, it lessens the pain and the depression they feel. So please don't be hurt by it, I think sometimes for those that love us, it's a defense mechanism because cancer has such a bad reputation, often known as a killer and it's difficult for those that love us to deal with. Sure it's hard for us to deal with, but we're the ones in the direct "this can kill you disease" so somehow we manage to deal with it the best in what I think is our survivor mode.
So, what I'm saying rather long windedly, is I'm sure your family is happy your still here, they're just scared of the future, and therefore seem to shut down more around us. Also don't forget "we look good" so sometimes that means they think we should feel good and are good.
So Bruce, just keep fighting along, and remember sometimes, our families just want things to be normal, and normal is YOU dealing with the bills, so maybe you should SAY something not just expect something from them, every once in a while you've got to get out the old electrical prod stick and remind them of what is what.
Winter Marie

Caregivers take
Bruce, I am new at this game so really not qualified to offer advice but my husband and I had a discussion last night which might be pertinent. I think one of my jobs in this battle is to keep things as normal as possible to the ways things were before diagnosis. What we were doing before worked. We were a happily dysfunctional family. What I am saying is that we are not going to cut him any breaks because of his illness. If I would've called him an a--hole before for something he said or did, I am still calling him that. Maybe your family hasn't changed much but the gift they give you is treating you the same? Lisa

Sundanceh said:

Lisa:) I had to laugh.....
Sounds like you went to the same onc that me and my wife first started with, LOL!

First thing he told her was, "Just treat like him the same ol' @sshole he was before cancer."
And you know what? She hung onto that line like it was gold - and never has let go:)

No kidding - no joke - true story.

Just gave me a chuckle this morning reading your reply.

Go easy on him sometimes, ok?

-Craig

My husband has been sweet
My husband has been sweet through this whole thing, but I do have to dump the garbage, clean the pool, fix dinner, and such, but I go back to work this week! watch out fella, 50/50!! I/m ready to feel normal again, and get these pounds off of me!

And the kids are back to normal, all is good. If the cancer don't kill, my family sure will, HA, HA!

Take care of you and the rest will follow. There is anxiety meds out there that can help yu. Try them, you might see that things are more normal then you think! Blessing!

Good to vent
Hey Bruce -- Glad you vented here -- this is the place! I know many of us (including me) can relate to what you are saying. It's one hell of a rollercoaster ride -- and the physical stuff is the least of it. I'm a little concerned that you are sleeping a lot dear -- may be depression? Might you consider counsellor/therapist/antidepressants?? One thing is sure -- you have a loving family HERE -- as I do....

Love,
Tara

2bhealed said:

Vent Away my friend
Bruce,

Every so often I had to pitch a fit to remind them that our "new normal" meant that I wasn't going to be at their beck and call and that I needed to take care of myself for a change.

Sorry you're going through this.

To quote a friend:

Never give up!

peace, emily ;-)

Guess Im not the only one.....
I think mine came to the end of her rope of caregiving, and all else that entails it..so for now I have found myself doing everything alone, after having someone at my side through all of this now I find myself doing it all. I do realize that in spite of it all, I have more will than ever to rise to the top, to show them all that even though help is needed it is not something that will cause me to quit, even though I am tired. I have as you fought the dragon and still fighting as all of us are, but no matter how bad it gets or how down I feel, I will show the dragon, or anyone or thing that stands in my way, that I will beat this and come out the other side be it with my family or be it alone. Hopefully, I will have my family in tow, but in any matter I will persevere nonetheless, and never ever give up...........buzz

Fedster
how are things going? How are you doing, are you feeling any better, are things getting any better with the family? Just checking in to see how you are and say I was thinking of you.

HUGS
Beth