Anchor has been cut and here I am adrift

herdizziness
herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
My mother passed away yesterday morning Friday the 10th. I received the call as I was turning into my oncologists office.
I had tickets to see her one more time, I was supposed to have left at 6:30 AM today.
I was lucky, back in March I purchased tickets to see her from June 4th to June 7th to celebrate her 90th birthday which was June 1st. I didn't go until the 4th because I had finals and my son was graduating also on the 3rd from college. 6 months ago, my mother told me she was tired and ready to go, I said "Mama, your almost 90, can you make until your 90?", and she said well, yes, she could do that. Two months ago, my Mama said she was tired and ready to go. I told her well Mama, your 89 years old you can do what you want (I always said that to her, whatever her age at the time, because one of us would want her to visit or such and she'd say she was too tired etc., and I'd tell her that she was of decent enough age that she could do what she wanted, not what we wanted)but could you stay until I can get up there in June? She replied she would. Two weeks ago my Mama said she was real tired and she really wanted to go, I said Mama, could you please wait, I'll be up June 4th. And she said all right honey. My Mama knew who I was when I got there, her sentences were never finished though, she kept telling me I had the most beautiful eyes, we kept telling each other we loved one another so much. I kept thanking her and telling her what a wonderful mother she had been to me, she became my mother when I was 5 years old, she had already raised her children, then she married my Dad and had to raise 6 more from ages of 9 months to 7 years old. The next day she wasn't talking much anymore, I saw a robin outside and sang the song that goes "The red, red robin goes bob, bob, bobbin along" and she surprised me by smiling and singing it back. The morning of the 7th on the day I was flying back home she hadn't spoken at all and had a far away look in her eye. I told her, Mama, I've got to go back home today, you haven't talked to me at all, I need to hear you say something before I go, anything, just let me hear your voice Mama. She turned and looked at me and rasped out those three beautiful words "I love you."
I had expected her to live another week or two, so I had purchased another ticket upon arriving home to go back Saturday, instead I will go back Monday and attend her burial of her ashes at her step-daddy's foot of his grave. She loved her step-daddy so much, he came into her life when she was 5, she would tell of stories of sitting at his feet listening to him tell them (her sisters and her)stories. Her grave marker will read, "Here she lies at her daddy's feet"
She was my mother completely, she had my love, my respect and I always felt as if I had been born of her because she returned my love that well.
I miss you Mama so much already.
Winter Marie
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Comments

  • ron50
    ron50 Member Posts: 1,723 Member
    Hugs darlin
    Ron.
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    Winter Marie
    I'm very sorry for your loss.
    hugs
    -phil
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331 Member
    PhillieG said:

    Winter Marie
    I'm very sorry for your loss.
    hugs
    -phil

    Deepest condolences winter !
    Feel sorry for the loose!
    Hugs.
    Pepe.
  • maglets
    maglets Member Posts: 2,576 Member
    pepebcn said:

    Deepest condolences winter !
    Feel sorry for the loose!
    Hugs.
    Pepe.

    winter marie
    I am so sorry winter Marie.....more hugs

    maggie
  • pete43lost_at_sea
    pete43lost_at_sea Member Posts: 3,900 Member
    you were so lucky
    dear winter marie,

    this is lovelly tribute to your mum, i should say you are that tribute in a sense.
    your mum sounded so lovelly.
    she reminded me of my mum, who fostered me at 6 months.
    something we have in common.
    she is at peace and resting now.

    love,
    pete
  • tina dasilva
    tina dasilva Member Posts: 641
    Sorry
    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss R.I.P mama <3
  • traci43
    traci43 Member Posts: 773 Member
    condolences
    Winter Marie - It sounds like you have such wonderful memories of your mom. May these memories confort you as you deal with your loss. Traci
  • plh4gail
    plh4gail Member Posts: 1,238 Member
    I'm so sorry Winter
    I'm so sorry Winter Marie...hugs to you!

    Gail
  • rogina2336
    rogina2336 Member Posts: 188
    Sorry for your loss. What a
    Sorry for your loss. What a beautiful memory of your last visit gave me goose bumps. Beautiful story. Kim
  • daBeachBum
    daBeachBum Member Posts: 164
    Very sorry for your loss
    Winter Marie,

    My condolences on the loss of your mother. I am glad you were able to spend quality time with her. She obviously loved you very much.
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    Sorry
    So sorry for your loss. What a beautiful story you told. Sounds like you had a wonderful mother.

    Kim
  • mom_2_3
    mom_2_3 Member Posts: 953 Member
    Condolences
    My condolences to you on the loss of your mom. She sounds like quite a woman and you were blessed to love her and be loved by her. May she rest in peace.

    Amy
  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    Winter Marie
    Winter Marie,
    What a lovely tribute to a beautiful woman. Thank you for sharing. My prayers go with you in the days ahead.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • christinecarl
    christinecarl Member Posts: 543 Member
    I am very sorry for your
    I am very sorry for your loss. It is hard to lose a mom, no one loves you the way they do. Peace be with you.
  • wolfen
    wolfen Member Posts: 1,324 Member

    I am very sorry for your
    I am very sorry for your loss. It is hard to lose a mom, no one loves you the way they do. Peace be with you.

    Winter
    She will be forever in your heart as you were in hers. And those wonderful memories that you have will always be your anchor. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

    Wolfen
  • AncientTiger
    AncientTiger Member Posts: 130
    I know how hard it is
    My dad just turned 94, and my mom is turning 84 in July. Each time we get a chance to go visit them, I always think to myself when I'm giving them a hug and a kiss goodbye, "Is this going to be the last time I get to do this". It's heartbreaking. And even though I've been preparing for it most of my life, I know it's going to be hard to let them go.

    Like you Winter, I was brought into their lives from outside. Somewhere I have a biological mother and father, but I KNOW where my true Mother and Father are and I love them very much.

    You'll be in my thoughts and prayers Winter, in the weeks and months to come. I'm very sorry to hear about your loss, and know that right now your heart must be in pieces... I pray that the good Shepard, and your friends/family helps you put those pieces back together over time.
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member

    I know how hard it is
    My dad just turned 94, and my mom is turning 84 in July. Each time we get a chance to go visit them, I always think to myself when I'm giving them a hug and a kiss goodbye, "Is this going to be the last time I get to do this". It's heartbreaking. And even though I've been preparing for it most of my life, I know it's going to be hard to let them go.

    Like you Winter, I was brought into their lives from outside. Somewhere I have a biological mother and father, but I KNOW where my true Mother and Father are and I love them very much.

    You'll be in my thoughts and prayers Winter, in the weeks and months to come. I'm very sorry to hear about your loss, and know that right now your heart must be in pieces... I pray that the good Shepard, and your friends/family helps you put those pieces back together over time.

    Winter Marie
    much love and warmth to surround and comfort you in the days ahead...I'll keep you in my thoughts for all to be ok for you.......love to you, buzz
  • PGLGreg
    PGLGreg Member Posts: 731
    I'm sorry that your mother
    I'm sorry that your mother has died. My mother died at age 89 two years ago, and I cared for her the last two years of her life. I think your mother was fortunate, that her end came so peacefully. My mother was not so lucky. Let's try to take lessons for ourselves, as we approach our end of life.

    --Greg
  • marqimark
    marqimark Member Posts: 242 Member
    Anchor
    What a blessing you were to your mum, and she to you. Hugs...

    Mark
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    Sad
    I'm so sad for you. I wish you could have had one more visit.

    *Hugs*
    Gail