Frank passed this morning...

KLScoville said:

my deepest sympathy
Karen,

I did not realize that you recently lost your husband. I am sooo sorry for your loss! Thank you for all your replies to in the lung cancer forum.

May God Bless you and your family at this time of sorrow!

~Kelly

Karen
I am just reaching out to check up on you and see how you are holding up.

Yesenia

karenbeth said:

Yesenia
Thanks for reaching out. It's hard, but I'm making it through each day. I cry a little every day but I also try to think of him and smile, as well. It's hard being in my apartment alone, I try to keep myself busy. We also worked at the same company, so sometimes the grief hits me there as well. I have gotten a lot of support from family, friends, and coworkers but at the end of the day I come home alone. Well, I have my two furry friends to keep me company

And you? How is your mom, is she still refusing hospice?

Karen

Karen
Crying is normal says the woman who hardly sheds any tears. I sometimes feel like an alien in my own body because of it. Being alone will be hard for some time, see if a friend can stay over or a family member. Just so you have something to look forward to doing that one night. I am not saying that it will be ok, but like you said something to keep you busy or occupied for you not to hurt too much that day/night.

My mother is slowly deteriorating, and she doesn't want to admit that she is sick and we need help. I have the hospice on call, but they call to confirm the nurse and when we don't even realize she calls them back and says that she doesn't need anyone. It is very hard for me and my sister who is finally here with us. She removed herself from school and is going to leave her kids in her fla home so she can be with us and help.

We are going to sit down with her tonight again and see if we can have a conversation to explain how her actions and words are hurting us. If she is going to pass we want it to be as peaceful for her and us as possible. Not that we won't miss her because god knows that we are but we all want to be in harmony together if that makes sense.

Cancer touched me many years ago 16 to be exact my then 22 year old boyfriend died of lung cancer. Sad part was that he didn't smoke so we never found out how it was developed. We didn't live together but he was always at my place hanging out and we went to the same college. After he passed I had mini-meltdowns in the school hall, at the bank where I worked since he picked me up across the street to go to class at night, as well as his parents house.

It was very hard to come to my place, because I always expected him to come at any given time with a movie and popcorn or to study. He wasn't my husband but I thought he was going to be since he gave me a promise ring before he got sick. After he was gone it took me a while to feel semi-whole and I decided to live enough for the both of us. I have traveled and seen all the places that he wanted to go to and see.

I empathasize with you and know that you are in pain and hurting so please reach out if you need to chat. You are not alone, I am here for you!