would some of you write some encouraging words to my mother

Joan, I know how difficult it is
when you feel like crap day after day. Intellectually we know we will feel better but when we are in the middle of it, that thought doesn't help. My son used to tell me, mom, you know you'll feel better in a few days. Well, I know he was trying to help and even though I knew what he was saaying was true, it didn't help me feel better. Your daughter says you are tough. That reminds me of my mom. She is 86 and is still working at the same job she has worked at for 42 years. She is working part time now but it keeps her going. She has had rheumatoid arthritis since 1986 and heart surgery in 1999. I retired after my treatment. I had been telling my mom I would retire before her (I'm 63) and I did. Unfortunately it was not for the reason I thought I would. Anyway please stick it out. I ended up in the ER four times and was hospitalized twice during the chemo. But I am feeling great now and am so happy to be alive and with my family and friends. It's hard and I sometimes think those of us with this disease are hand-picked because we are tough and can get through it. I never thought of myself as tough or brave but so many people have told me I am because they saw what I went through. But through it all it was just wanting to survive, not wanting to leave the people I love. I am sorry I rambled Joan, but please hang in there.

Karen

kikz said:

Joan, I know how difficult it is
when you feel like crap day after day. Intellectually we know we will feel better but when we are in the middle of it, that thought doesn't help. My son used to tell me, mom, you know you'll feel better in a few days. Well, I know he was trying to help and even though I knew what he was saaying was true, it didn't help me feel better. Your daughter says you are tough. That reminds me of my mom. She is 86 and is still working at the same job she has worked at for 42 years. She is working part time now but it keeps her going. She has had rheumatoid arthritis since 1986 and heart surgery in 1999. I retired after my treatment. I had been telling my mom I would retire before her (I'm 63) and I did. Unfortunately it was not for the reason I thought I would. Anyway please stick it out. I ended up in the ER four times and was hospitalized twice during the chemo. But I am feeling great now and am so happy to be alive and with my family and friends. It's hard and I sometimes think those of us with this disease are hand-picked because we are tough and can get through it. I never thought of myself as tough or brave but so many people have told me I am because they saw what I went through. But through it all it was just wanting to survive, not wanting to leave the people I love. I am sorry I rambled Joan, but please hang in there.

Karen

sorry
for the threepeat.

Karen

Joan - I do know how you
Joan - I do know how you feel. I feel well on the day of chemo and 3 days following
(currently on 2nd round of carbo/taxol, completed 3 out of 6, possibly 8 ).
On days 4 through 7 I feel so physically bad, I mentally wish I could go to sleep for the bad days and wake up when I feel better, but it's hard to sleep even with meds during those days. My bones ache, I'm numb..all of it. That was me last week.

But through it all my family also continues to encourage me night and day: 'you know you'll feel better in a few days' (sound familiar?)..and in my heart I know they're right and I know they love me dearly and don't want to see me hurting. The one thing I can do and I've allowed myself to (and it's OK with them), is that I cry a few tears. They and I know I don't mean to - but I complain, a little- maybe a little more than just a little. But the best thing for me that my family gives me when I'm feeling that low is like the song that goes- 'when you say nothing at all' - it's the touch, of holding hands with my daughter, of a long hug from my son, just to lean my head on my husbands shoulder..and I keep my eye on the prize - I will feel better, better and more. And I will finally do something that makes me smile. Today I potted some basil and rosemary.

I know I'll have to face the not so happy music again in a couple of weeks, but I keep that saying in my head --- 'the pain will go away, I will get better'. Prayers and Hugs coming your way...Ellen

I know the fatigue
Joan, I know how the fatigue is. No one knows unless they experience it. Very hard to explain to someone that you just can't make yourself go. I have a spot on my liver too and it grew from the last time. Worries me a lot.

You can do it. I am 63 years old and my kids and others tell me I am a tough old bird too. I didn't think I could ever go through something like this. One of my sons told me that he is so proud of me. And I know who is proud of you.... your daughter Lisa. Just keep plugging. We can do this together. Wished I live close to you and we could go out for lunch.

Sending prayers your way for energy and healing.
Linda

Hi Joan,
I just finished 16 doses of taxol, not to mention the 8 that I had, almost 4 years ago. It creeps up on you. One day you feel great, and then BANG! you want to go to bed for life! At least, that has been my experience. But, it does work, and when you come out of the fatigue fog, you feel so much better, you actually forget how bad it was. I guess that is why we keep going, right? I know you had the cisplatin (the hell chemo!) and doxil and lived to tell about it, so I know you can make this one too!

Meanwhile, tell Lisa what you need today to feel better and I know she will do what she can to help you. Maybe,you just need to give yourself a day off to snuggle with your pillow, even. Do you have anything on hand to take for anxiety? I think a lot of the gals take ativan or something like that for those panic days. I take a depas once in a while (a mild tranq) and give myself a couch day. When I do that, I don't lay any guilt trips on myself and just go for it. I used to feel somewhat "lazy" and "gulty" about it, but not anymore.

I cling to an encouraging word I heard from someone close to me. He said, "The road to healing is like the road to the summit of a mountain. Sometimes you have to go through the valleys before you can get there." Just wish it could be more of a straight shot!

Hey, good job on raising LIsa!

Hugs,
kathleen

Dear Joan
You ARE going to feel better! Your CA-125 is showing improvement which means the taxol is doing the job, unfortunatly at the expense of your energy. Do not to let it effect your fighting spirit. Slow down, take lots of naps, focus your mind to the healing powers of the taxol not the side effects.
Teal hugs..Never give up.
Mary