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Farewell Friends!

snommintj's picture
snommintj
Posts: 602
Joined: Mar 2009

My friends! My liver has failed and there are no other options available for me. I was sent home today on hospice care and they will monitor me at home until my last few days. I believe I will get to fully enjoy this weekend and perhaps some of next week. Soon after the start of next week rising ammonia levels in my body will make my brain loose awareness and then I will die.
Please know that many of you have inspired me to live better and fight harder. I wish victory, peace, and solace for each and everyone of you.

Lilmiss82's picture
Lilmiss82
Posts: 257
Joined: Dec 2009

this breaks my heart tremedously... I cry as i write this. You befriended me instantly and I felt so close to you. You have inspired me in many ways, more than words could ever express. You are so passionate, so loved and I dont want this to happen to you. John I want to say the right things but I just can't nor do I know the right words. I want to take this away from you and not let this world have another one of my friends be taken so soon, so young. My heart is truly breaking for you and your beautiful family. John Please know that there are so many of us that you have help, moved, encouraged, and I need to thank you my friend. You are and always will be on my mind and in my heart. -Melissa

Crow71's picture
Crow71
Posts: 681
Joined: Jan 2010

This is tough to hear John. Please know that you have been a great source of strength, inspiration, and information to me. Knowing you has made me a better cancer fighter. Knowing you has also made me a better person. Many times you have lifted me up.
I wish you peace and happiness.
Roger

SisterSledge's picture
SisterSledge
Posts: 342
Joined: Feb 2011

Although I joined this group too late to get to know you much, I wish we'd had more time... peace be with you and thank you for your all of your efforts.
Janine

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

Should my tears stop, I would be smiling at all that you have taught me, watching and seeing your posts for the year I've been on here.
Your hopes, your joys, your sadness, your pain, you've shown, allowing us to know that we too, can carry on through all the hardships, and my good man, you've had plenty.
Go with God John, from your posts I believe you have lived and loved well, and there is only a better place for you. I'm sure there are wings and warmth awaiting you John, I know that you can go in peace.
Thank you for the inspiration that you have given me, making me fight hard for my surgeries.
Take care my friend, I shall be thinking of you now and in the future.
My love to you,
Winter Marie

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

I am carrying you with me, all of the time, safe in my heart. Rest, dear one...you have fought a noble battle!

All my love and warm hugs, Kathi

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3908
Joined: Nov 2010

Oh John,

This is the sadest news.
You have inspired me a huge amount.
I cannot thankyou enough.
I will miss you here,
I won't forget you,
I'll pray for your family and your son.

Godbless you again and may the rest of your days be filled with peace and love.

love,
Pete

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Sonia32's picture
Sonia32
Posts: 1078
Joined: Mar 2009

You and I both came to this board the same time. I was afraid of you at first, just thought you were so strong and I admired your courage. Then I saw you were just a gentle giant, oh John I really don't know what to say. I am in tears as I write this. You have fought so hard.
Can't say anything any more. You are in my thoughts and prayers my csn brother.

Love and hugs to you

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

John,
As I was signing on I knew we would hear from you. You came to my mind right away. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I pray that your journey over the next few days will be free from pain and filled with love and peace. You are a wonderful person John and you will be remembered. I am honored to have known you. Go in peace my friend.

Aloha,
Kathleen

ron50's picture
ron50
Posts: 1721
Joined: Nov 2001

We will remember you,Ron.

khl8
Posts: 810
Joined: Nov 2009

John,
I don't know how to digest this news. You will be in my thoughts as you complete your journey.

Kathy

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

ever vigilant, always blunt and to the point,precise in every word, and dedicated to his family as well as all of us here. We hold you in utmost honor and love in our hearts. Although we will miss you greatly, we know where you will be, and that thought will comfort all. Go in peace my friend, the world is a much better place because of you......We will meet again.........Clift

tina dasilva's picture
tina dasilva
Posts: 644
Joined: Sep 2010

I dont know what to say as i sit here and cry.all i know is that i will never forget you .go in peace and may God hold you in his arms lots of love Tina

betina61's picture
betina61
Posts: 644
Joined: Aug 2006

No words to tell you how I feel,you have been an example of courage on this board,I will miss you.
Big hug for you and your family.

taraHK
Posts: 1961
Joined: Aug 2003

Thank you for all the wisdom, grace and love you brought to us all. I wish you peace for your remaining time.

Love,

Tara

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Oh, dear, dear John.

You say you believe you will be able to enjoy the weekend and some of next week. The only comfort I have in this news is that well beyond next week, you will be at peace and in no pain.

You have been such a wonderful, inspiring contributor to this board, and I will miss you, my friend. You have fought the good fight, and I was so hoping you would be able to stare down the BEAST one more time.

I'll be praying for a peaceful, pain-free journey for you,and I will look forward to finally meeting you one day.

With much love,
Gail

geotina's picture
geotina
Posts: 2117
Joined: Oct 2009

Thank you for sharing your knowledge and your encouragement to all. May your journey now be free of pain. I'm so sorry it has now come to this.

Have a peaceful and pain free journey my friend, you will be missed and not forgotten.

Hugs to you and your family -

Tina

dianetavegia's picture
dianetavegia
Posts: 1953
Joined: Mar 2009

I'll be praying for you and your extended family. We won't forget you and neither will they.

Diane

johnnybegood's picture
johnnybegood
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

i will not cry for you.you are one of the toughist people on here i know.have the faith because i know you will be going to a beautiful place where i am sure other family members and friends await you.i hope you do not suffer much on your journey to the other side.Godbless forever...johnnybegood

dorookie
Posts: 1736
Joined: Jul 2007

I dont want to say goodbye, so I will say I will see you later, as I know you will be up there in heaven with the angels....I am so very sorry, you fought so hard, and we are all so blessed to have had the honor of knowing you. From one VET to another, Thank you for your service as well, and America thanks you!!

God Bless you
HUGS
Beth

LindaJS
Posts: 20
Joined: Feb 2011

I didnt get to know you but I wanted to share my thanks and love. This board and its posts kept appearing everytime I searched for information on my husbands diagnosis. Please know that the information you have shared has been like a beacon to me and my family. Inspirational and comforting. Thank you.

lizzydavis's picture
lizzydavis
Posts: 893
Joined: May 2009

Dear John,

Please know that we love you. May you be blessed from heaven.

You will leave behind a legacy of a time spent here on earth in good deeds which will continue to grow through your son.

Your eternal soul will continue to be a source of inspiration and encouragement, especially to all whose lives were touched by you.

May memories of happiness be helpful and comfort you now.

Please know that we love you. May you be blessed from heaven.

Lizzy (Lou Ann)

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

John

Read the title and knew something was amiss. After reading your post and the responses that followed, I sit here trying to soak it all in and trying to make sense of it all, but I cannot.

I know you explored every avenue that there was to try - you did so many good things here and for yourself. You shared the information you acquired along the way. You traveled down paths that few of us would dare follow - you were a trailblazer.

I only pretend to have strength, but yours is the real deal. I've "listened" to you for almost 2 years now and just don't want to see you not be here and in this world. I know you've had much pain and suffering during your journey and I hope the other side is all that it is being billed to be. I'll be anxiously awaiting your post once you get there and get the lay of the land.

You're a good man and a tower of strength to all who have known you. I will miss you. And thanks for "listening."

Semper Fi!
-Craig

soccermom13's picture
soccermom13
Posts: 226
Joined: Feb 2010

I am impressed with your words and I hope that when it is my time I will let go with the grace, peace and love that you show. May God bless your family and keep them safe until you meet again and may God wrap you gently in his arms as he guides you home. Thank you for the time that you gave to our country - you will not be forgotten.
hugs
Shanna

TMac52's picture
TMac52
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2010

to express how this makes me feel (horrible, saddened, fearful) John I have known you only for a short time and only by reading a few post's but you have touched me and I am deeply saddened by your apparent destiny. I will pray for your son and your family. Semper Fidelis my friend as I wipe away some tears.
Tom

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Hi John,

I'm not wanting to believe that this is really it for you. You fought hard and, indeed, were a trailblazer. Due to information you shared, I looked into several new things and discussed a few different things and possibilities with my oncologist. I thank you for that and for showing such bravery in the face of fire. As you said in a post awhile back, your doctors said you should have already been dead several times, but you always found some new treatment and came through. You are tough as nails, John!
But every human is just that- human, and I guess a body can only take so much.
I'm so sorry it has really come to this.
Your wife and son will have it hard, but they will come through & your son will always know that his dad fought hard and kept going for a long time because of him and because of your strong love for him.
Walk to Jesus, John- and I hope to meet you on the other side one day.

Affection and strength-
Lisa

mom_2_3
Posts: 964
Joined: Nov 2008

Your courage is astounding. Your calm in the face of this adversity is inspiring to me. I keep you and your family in my prayers. I thank you for your service to our country. Peace be with you John.

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be at your back.
The sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again, til we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

--Irish blessing

Amy

Lifeisajourney
Posts: 217
Joined: Apr 2010

that was posted are my thoughts to you also. I have not posted on your threads, but have watched your journey, my prayers to you and your family. Pat

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 3330
Joined: Jan 2010

May the remaining days be spent with your loving family around you.

May you have peace in your heart and no pain in your body.

Thank you for being you.

Your legacy to each of us here at CSN is without measure.

Big hugs to carry you forward to the next part of the journey.

Marie who loves kitties

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4888
Joined: May 2005

I am truly sorry to hear this. I know we've had some differences in the past, but life's boring if everyone agrees with each other all the time. You've been an inspiration to me and others by your strong will and determination.
I wish you and your family peace.
-phil & family

luvmum
Posts: 457
Joined: Dec 2010

Dear John,

I am relatively new here and I have only known you for a short period of time but I don't want to say goodbye to you. My heart is broken when I read this post. I have never had this feeling in this board.

May your days fill with love, happiness and peace!
Love Dora

pepebcn's picture
pepebcn
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

Didn't want to hear that!
God bless you amigo mio!

krf's picture
krf
Posts: 99
Joined: Dec 2009

Thank you, John. Your wisdom and courage have been a great help to everyone on this board.
Peace be with you.
Kim

plh4gail's picture
plh4gail
Posts: 1238
Joined: Oct 2010

John, your post touched me and breaks my heart. I have always enjoyed reading your comments here and learn something from each of them. And that something is used and passed on to another friend. That's how I figure I use my cancer. Tears are streaming down my face and I want to wrap my arms around you! Thank you for your commraderie and friendship! And this goes for now and forever!! I still have in my heart you will be around with me and the others to see us all through the issues we share on here as we will be here for you, not in the way you described will happen. You're going to be here with us!

Love and hugs to you and your family, Gail

Lori-S's picture
Lori-S
Posts: 1287
Joined: Sep 2010

I am so sorry to read this. So sad. I want to thank you for sharing this journey with me and all that you have contributed. May you and your family find strength and peace during this time. Please know that you have made a difference here and that your valiant fight was not in vain. Many hugs and prayers to you and those you love.

sharpy102's picture
sharpy102
Posts: 370
Joined: Apr 2009

@Snommintj: John!!!! Please don't leave!!! We need you! I need you!!! Don't say things like that!! Maybe you'll hang around much longer because you are strong!!! I can't believe this!! I get sooooo upset anytime I hear someone failing due to cancer! I hate cancer!!! Now, I'm so pissed...not at you!!! At the cancer! And it is awesome to know you and I'm not willing to accept that you are ready to leave!!! You have to be around!!! But at the same time, I will cross all my fingers for you (Sorry, I don't have a god to pray to) so that you won't suffer at all!!!
Please take care,
Sophie

LivinginNH's picture
LivinginNH
Posts: 1458
Joined: Apr 2010

Dear John, You have been an inspiration to us and we will not forget your brave struggle. May God bless you for all of eternity. Rest well. -- Cynthia and Rick

Kenny H.'s picture
Kenny H.
Posts: 503
Joined: Aug 2010

You fought so hard, its what we all fear wont happen to us with this dreadful disease.
prayers to you and your family.

lesvanb's picture
lesvanb
Posts: 911
Joined: May 2008

Holding you, and your family, in the light. I will not forget you, and I will miss you.

much love, Leslie

christinecarl's picture
christinecarl
Posts: 545
Joined: Sep 2009

So sorry to hear this news. Your strength and courage will continue to inspire everyone who has ever read a post by you. Please say Hi to my mom and the other CSN friends for me, see you on the other side.

:(

sasjourney
Posts: 395
Joined: Jul 2010

You are an inspiration to everyone of us. My heart aches for you and your family. I know the Lord with wrap His loving arms around you and you will not suffer anymore. May God bless you and your family.

With all my love,
Sara

CherylHutch's picture
CherylHutch
Posts: 1399
Joined: Apr 2007

Are so not appropriate at a time like this. Goodbyes, Farewells, See you on the other side.... they all are so meaningless. Yet, hearing from your friends both here on CSN and in real life, have to have some sort of closure for you. I just want to say that you have contributed so much to this board and everyone's journey. What a fight you have put up... which I know you have learned so much from that fight and probably have no idea how many others have learned from you. It's your turn to rest now... and enjoy the time you have left with your family.

Go in peace, my friend!

Cheryl

Buckwirth's picture
Buckwirth
Posts: 1272
Joined: Jun 2010

You will be missed. As it seems with everything else you have posted, you are leaving us with the same sense of honor and commitment that has ruled your life, from your service to our country to the loyalty and care you have shown for your family.

Rest well, and let your family know that we are here if there is anything that we can do for them in the weeks ahead.

Yours,

Blake

tanstaafl's picture
tanstaafl
Posts: 1292
Joined: Oct 2010

I am so sorry to hear this, John. We will all miss you. Thank you for all your candid thoughts and advice, bringing a light to the trail for the rest of us, and those that follow. Your fight has been an inspiration and a phenomenon.

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

I am so sorry to read this post. You have been a strong courageous warrior in this fight. You have opened our eyes to new treatments + ways of fighting this this disease. Please know you + your family are in my thoughts.

Jaylo969
Posts: 827
Joined: Jan 2010

I read your post this morning when I logged on and I had to take a few hours to gather my wits about me because I know that I don't have the words in my vocabulary to express my feelings. Please know that my heart is with you and your loved ones at this time.

Thank you John for your inspiration, your help, and your care for all of us semi's.Thank you for always being 'real'. I appreciate it more than I am able to express.

Hugs to you John and know that you have a host of friends and our hearts and minds will be with you in this phase of your journey also.

Peace & Love,
-Pat

kersha
Posts: 63
Joined: Jul 2009

John I am very sorry to hear about what is happening to you now, after all that you have done. You tried so hard to beat this. I hope and wish a peaceful and painless end although I wish it was not the end. Would keep you and your family in my prayers and thoughts. Keep reminding your son of all the good times you all shared. He will always remember you and the love you have for him.

God bless

daydreamer110761's picture
daydreamer110761
Posts: 497
Joined: Dec 2008

I don't really know what to say. I logged on to facebook this morning and saw your post. Had to come here and make sure thats what I really saw. A close friend of mine had problems with his right foot on sunday. then his left arm went numb. we thought maybe a small stroke although we weren't sure how that could affect different sides, and all urged him to go to the ER, he waited a couple days - "because his wife had to work." yesterday, they diagnosed him with a huge mass in his lungs, and 4 masses in his brain. inoperable.

You came to this board about the same time I did. This is too much for me to digest in a day. Peace be with you and your family. I am soooo sorry. Love to you - Sherrie

Love2Cats's picture
Love2Cats
Posts: 127
Joined: Dec 2010

I am new to this board, but I must say that I have been impressed by your courage, and selflessness in the short time I have been here. You are a brave and honerable man, and I wish all the the best to you and your family in this difficult time.

Sandy

karguy's picture
karguy
Posts: 1024
Joined: Apr 2009

I am sorry that you are leaving us,I hope your journey is a peaceful one.You have helped everyone here in one way or another,and you will be missed greatly.I will see you when I reach the other side.Semper fi.

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