Can I please vent?
Comments
-
Anne
My dear Anne,
I think that the onc's, the radiologists, etc., I have the feeling that they don't understand our feelings on the Scans and the Blood Tests. Me, myself and I, really hate waiting to find it out each time. Three weeks seems like forever, since I'm always eager to hear good news, I want the "good news" time shortened.
I'm sure it'll be okay, but holding your hand and patting it occasionally as best I can cyberly.
You're in my thoughts, a prayer or two, and good vibes pointed in your northern direction!!!
Winter Marie0 -
AnneErinb said:Dear Anne,
I would want to
Dear Anne,
I would want to vent too. I hope you get rid of the bug and feel better soon. If there is anytime to feel lousy and be in bed, it might as well be now during the winter.
Erin
PS I hope you don't live in the southern hemisphere.
ahhhh Anne I am so sorry that your wait time is so long.....we all hate it....
vent away do NOT feel guilty.....I agree with Graci.....just jump in that big yummy bed and pretend you are a Canadian gound-hog and you are not waking up till spring comes....
I am so glad you know you have possible chemo alternatives.....
the bug will go away.....it's everywhere here right now
hugs, mags0 -
Thanks for the recipe. I'lAnneCan said:Thanks Roger!
Roger, thanks for being so pissed off on my behalf; I really appreciate it! My scan results always take ~ 2 weeks. I go to the 2nd largest comprehensive cancer centre in Canada (in the top 10 or so in North America) + I get great care overall, but this is one thing that drives me crazy!
This is how we make green tea latte:
We use Matcha green tea. It is Japanese, which I have read is better for you than Chinese. Matcha tea is made with the whole leaves + is ground up finely. It is actually bright green in colour. There are several brands of this type of tea; the one I use is called "DO". You can google Matcha (Macha?) green tea + get lots of info. Because you use the whole leaf rather than just infusing the leaves in water, it is supposed to be higher in vitamins + antioxidants. It is quite expensive, might be cheaper in the US, but you only use a small amount + it lasts a long time. You add milk, vanilla + sugar + + warm up with the Matcha. It is very yummy! You can also just use this to make regular green tea. We buy it at smaller grocery stories with a "health section", but it can also be ordered on the internet.
By the way, your avatar looks delicious!
Thanks for the recipe. I'l try it.
My avatar is a picture of a pastrami sandwich at Katz's Deli in NYC. It's the only place I eat pastrami. Can't get anything like it in NC. I've had 2 of these in my life. I took this picture a year ago when Kim and I went to Sloan for a second opinion on HIPEC and other options. Not exactly an "anti-cancer" lunch, but it's delicious. I put going for one more of these on my bucket list.
Take Care Anne.
Roger0 -
Thanks MarieLovekitties said:Dear Anne
No need to feel guilty about taking some much needed rest. Your body lets you know what it needs. And any way, every gal is entitled to some 'pamper me' time.
Hope you can put aside the worries about the scan. After all, you can't change the results and whether you know today or next week, you know you are still in this fight with all your might.
Don't let cancer and all that comes with it get you down emotionally. Too many wonderful things to do no matter how much time is left for each of us.
Hugs,
Marie
Your words are very inspirational. I am trying hard not to worry about the scan, but am having trouble not worrying. I am planning to have a really good weekend, though.0 -
Doraluvmum said:All my best wishes to you!!!
Hi Anne,
I am so sorry to hear your current situation! I cannot believe you have to wait two weeks before you get your result! On my birthday (a few days ago), my mum had her PET scan and I was so nervous and anxious that I could hardly eat anything! I know it must be so stressed!y friend asked me not to take CEA and scan results too serious as long as there are plans lining up for you! She has been fighting for a long long time... so just keep you positive attitude and thoughts and you will be fine!!!
You are alway my support and inspirations! I will pray for you for a positive outcome!
Best,
Dora
Thanks so much for your lovely words + prayers. I want to send good wishes to you + your Mum.0 -
ErinErinb said:Dear Anne,
I would want to
Dear Anne,
I would want to vent too. I hope you get rid of the bug and feel better soon. If there is anytime to feel lousy and be in bed, it might as well be now during the winter.
Erin
PS I hope you don't live in the southern hemisphere.
Thanks for your supportive words. I am in Canada, so definitely not in the Southern hemisphere. I love your avatar, you + your baby are gorgeous.0 -
Winter Marieherdizziness said:Anne
My dear Anne,
I think that the onc's, the radiologists, etc., I have the feeling that they don't understand our feelings on the Scans and the Blood Tests. Me, myself and I, really hate waiting to find it out each time. Three weeks seems like forever, since I'm always eager to hear good news, I want the "good news" time shortened.
I'm sure it'll be okay, but holding your hand and patting it occasionally as best I can cyberly.
You're in my thoughts, a prayer or two, and good vibes pointed in your northern direction!!!
Winter Marie
Thank-you! I can use all the hand-holding I can get!0 -
Thanks Mags!maglets said:Anne
ahhhh Anne I am so sorry that your wait time is so long.....we all hate it....
vent away do NOT feel guilty.....I agree with Graci.....just jump in that big yummy bed and pretend you are a Canadian gound-hog and you are not waking up till spring comes....
I am so glad you know you have possible chemo alternatives.....
the bug will go away.....it's everywhere here right now
hugs, mags
I have never been one to lie around in bed + I find myself doing it a lot lately; I just can't get used to it.
Are the wait lines long at your cancer center?0 -
The pictureCrow71 said:Thanks for the recipe. I'l
Thanks for the recipe. I'l try it.
My avatar is a picture of a pastrami sandwich at Katz's Deli in NYC. It's the only place I eat pastrami. Can't get anything like it in NC. I've had 2 of these in my life. I took this picture a year ago when Kim and I went to Sloan for a second opinion on HIPEC and other options. Not exactly an "anti-cancer" lunch, but it's delicious. I put going for one more of these on my bucket list.
Take Care Anne.
Roger
The picture looks like it is out of a food magazine; good photo! I haven't had a pastrami sandwich for a long time; it is hard to find a good one. When I was growing up my parents used to buy it from the grocery in plastic bags that you put in boiling water and then on rye bread - they were actually quite good. I might have to see if it is still sold like that. Montreal also has some great delis with great pastrami sandwiches. I hope you get to enjoy another one soon. Please let me know what you think if you try the green tea latte.0 -
Hi anneAnneCan said:Erin
Thanks for your supportive words. I am in Canada, so definitely not in the Southern hemisphere. I love your avatar, you + your baby are gorgeous.
I have no cancer centre here Anne just a regional hospital with an onc.....my cea's have to go to Toronto and it is usually 2 weeks....
wait times for test are long....yes indeed....
mags0 -
Annie:)
"The Waiting" is the hardest part - at least that's the way that Tom Pette tells it.
Anxiously waiting to hear your results. There is also VECTIBIX, which must be a distant cousin of Erbitux; maybe that one would be something to try as well. Not sure why some of us get assigned to one of those drugs and others get the other one. I tested "not wild" as well, so they have Vectibix in the storage room in case I need it.
I hate to hear you hurtin' but it's completely understandable that anxieties are on "high alert."
Nothing to feel guilty about either - you're sick and need the bed rest - just soak that in and take it for what it's worth - I'm sure you more than make up for it other times when you are doing better.
You've swallowed alot of chemo and I admire how many treatments that you have done; you are much stronger a person than am I:)
You know Tex is pulling for you like a piece of taffy; just want good things for you. I can't wait to hear back from you when you know something.
-Craig0 -
My friend CraigSundanceh said:Annie:)
"The Waiting" is the hardest part - at least that's the way that Tom Pette tells it.
Anxiously waiting to hear your results. There is also VECTIBIX, which must be a distant cousin of Erbitux; maybe that one would be something to try as well. Not sure why some of us get assigned to one of those drugs and others get the other one. I tested "not wild" as well, so they have Vectibix in the storage room in case I need it.
I hate to hear you hurtin' but it's completely understandable that anxieties are on "high alert."
Nothing to feel guilty about either - you're sick and need the bed rest - just soak that in and take it for what it's worth - I'm sure you more than make up for it other times when you are doing better.
You've swallowed alot of chemo and I admire how many treatments that you have done; you are much stronger a person than am I:)
You know Tex is pulling for you like a piece of taffy; just want good things for you. I can't wait to hear back from you when you know something.
-Craig
Thanks for your wonderful words. You are so kind. I have had a lot of chemo + I kind of feel worn out - don't know if it is the stress, the bug I've had or the chemo. It's probably a combo of all three. I really have a hard time dealing with being in bed this much; I know I shouldn't but I do. I feel like I am letting my family down. I really appreciate you pulling for me; I don't know what I would do without that. I am not stronger than you; I am constantly amazed by what you have been through. Thanks again.0 -
Graci, you are right!unknown said:This comment has been removed by the Moderator
My bed is fantastic - it is too comfortable! And I have television/DVD player + even VCR in our bedroon.
When I read your post, I felt a lot of comfort; almost like a hug wrapping itself around me. I think I had a bug, my husband wasn't feeling well either but he got over it faster. I don't think the stress helped though.
Thanks for everything, Graci. And your talk about buffalo has made me want to try it; I don't think I ever have.0 -
Vent away!!
Hey Anne... I think all of these things you have mentioned are grounds for individual vents... so vent away!! I've never really paid attention to when my scans are ready or not... I figure, even if I could read them (which I can't), there's nothing that could/would be done until I saw my oncologist. For example... let's say I could go in the next day and ask for the scan image and someone to tell me what it means. If he/she said, "Well, the tumours in your lungs are twice the size they were at your scan 3 months ago". Ok, so that certainly wouldn't be good news.... but now I'd have that bad news in my head, figuring my tumours are growing at a fast pace even while I'm waiting for my oncologist appt. Of course, I'd be freaking out that whole time too because now I know there's a problem. By the time I got to see my oncologist, I would be a nervous wreck. So, I prefer not to know what the scans say until I'm in the same room as my oncologist. She could give me the bad/good news and then we could discus the next plan of action.
But, either way... whether you have to wait to hear what those results are, or you have to wait until you see your oncologist to find out what the next plan is... the waiting game is probably one of the worst out of all of the things we have to go through. And there's no way of of making that game go quicker. Darn it all anyways!!
Now... let's discuss that comfy bed and guilt
I can soooooo relate to you on that one!! I have set up my bedroom somewhat like yours. I have a super comfy bed with a latex/foam mattress (two steps up from the memory foam mattresses). I also have one of the wireless remote adjustable beds so with a wireless remote I can put the bed up to the point I'm sitting up to read/eat/watch tv. Or any level all the way back to perfectly straight. Likewise with the foot of the bed. AND it has the built in massage under the mattress... very relaxing. Yes, I have a 32" tv, Blue Ray DVD player and the PVR... all in the bedroom. I also have all the cable stations... to the tune of something like 300 stations.. as well as all the HD stations. I have bookshelves on two walls... and I have about 50 books that I still haven't read, but each one is a book I really, really want to read. So from this, you can see that if one has to spend any length of time in bed, I have all the creature comforts.
But, I'm not used to spending a lot of time in bed. I have stuff to do and people to see, shows to see, rehearsals to get to, Media contacts to schmooze with, etc. I can be busy every minute of the day and evening (I should be working on the March 1 Theatre eNewsletter rigtht now!). So when I don't feel well... physically or because of stress, I DO have that lovely bedroom to hang out in... but I feel guilty. And I know I worry my two neighbours (friends) who come here every day to check on me, take my dog for a walk, clean the bird's aquarium, etc. When they see I'm in bed, then they know I'm not well... but sometimes it's just I don't have the energy. I might feel fine, but I have no energy... so I don't like worrying them.... makes me feel guilty.
But hey... if we feel tired or just out of sorts... we must give ourselves permission to just veg out and rest up our bodies.... even if that means a week of doing this. Whatever it takes.... but then once we get some energy back, it's back to the salt mines
Hang in there, Anne!!
Cheryl0 -
Thanks Cheryl!CherylHutch said:Vent away!!
Hey Anne... I think all of these things you have mentioned are grounds for individual vents... so vent away!! I've never really paid attention to when my scans are ready or not... I figure, even if I could read them (which I can't), there's nothing that could/would be done until I saw my oncologist. For example... let's say I could go in the next day and ask for the scan image and someone to tell me what it means. If he/she said, "Well, the tumours in your lungs are twice the size they were at your scan 3 months ago". Ok, so that certainly wouldn't be good news.... but now I'd have that bad news in my head, figuring my tumours are growing at a fast pace even while I'm waiting for my oncologist appt. Of course, I'd be freaking out that whole time too because now I know there's a problem. By the time I got to see my oncologist, I would be a nervous wreck. So, I prefer not to know what the scans say until I'm in the same room as my oncologist. She could give me the bad/good news and then we could discus the next plan of action.
But, either way... whether you have to wait to hear what those results are, or you have to wait until you see your oncologist to find out what the next plan is... the waiting game is probably one of the worst out of all of the things we have to go through. And there's no way of of making that game go quicker. Darn it all anyways!!
Now... let's discuss that comfy bed and guilt I can soooooo relate to you on that one!! I have set up my bedroom somewhat like yours. I have a super comfy bed with a latex/foam mattress (two steps up from the memory foam mattresses). I also have one of the wireless remote adjustable beds so with a wireless remote I can put the bed up to the point I'm sitting up to read/eat/watch tv. Or any level all the way back to perfectly straight. Likewise with the foot of the bed. AND it has the built in massage under the mattress... very relaxing. Yes, I have a 32" tv, Blue Ray DVD player and the PVR... all in the bedroom. I also have all the cable stations... to the tune of something like 300 stations.. as well as all the HD stations. I have bookshelves on two walls... and I have about 50 books that I still haven't read, but each one is a book I really, really want to read. So from this, you can see that if one has to spend any length of time in bed, I have all the creature comforts.
But, I'm not used to spending a lot of time in bed. I have stuff to do and people to see, shows to see, rehearsals to get to, Media contacts to schmooze with, etc. I can be busy every minute of the day and evening (I should be working on the March 1 Theatre eNewsletter rigtht now!). So when I don't feel well... physically or because of stress, I DO have that lovely bedroom to hang out in... but I feel guilty. And I know I worry my two neighbours (friends) who come here every day to check on me, take my dog for a walk, clean the bird's aquarium, etc. When they see I'm in bed, then they know I'm not well... but sometimes it's just I don't have the energy. I might feel fine, but I have no energy... so I don't like worrying them.... makes me feel guilty.
But hey... if we feel tired or just out of sorts... we must give ourselves permission to just veg out and rest up our bodies.... even if that means a week of doing this. Whatever it takes.... but then once we get some energy back, it's back to the salt mines
Hang in there, Anne!!
Cheryl
Your room sounds like mine but you have taken it up a few notches! I just upgraded my cable recently to be able to get more movie channels. I have books ALL OVER my bedroom. I haven't really been in the mood for reading though. I know I have to accept what my body is saying, but I can be stubborn. Fighting the situation does not help!
I am with you regarding reading the scans; I wouldn't know where to begin reading them! My onc's nurse even said the onc isn't great at reading abdominal scans, so how can I expect to be? That's what radiologists are for.
I always follow with interest your theatre tales; my oldest daughter is doing her Masters in Theatre Studies + I find it all fascinating.
Just curious; how long does it take you to get scan results?
Thanks + take good care!0 -
sorry annieAnneCan said:Thanks Cheryl!
Your room sounds like mine but you have taken it up a few notches! I just upgraded my cable recently to be able to get more movie channels. I have books ALL OVER my bedroom. I haven't really been in the mood for reading though. I know I have to accept what my body is saying, but I can be stubborn. Fighting the situation does not help!
I am with you regarding reading the scans; I wouldn't know where to begin reading them! My onc's nurse even said the onc isn't great at reading abdominal scans, so how can I expect to be? That's what radiologists are for.
I always follow with interest your theatre tales; my oldest daughter is doing her Masters in Theatre Studies + I find it all fascinating.
Just curious; how long does it take you to get scan results?
Thanks + take good care!
excuse me anne....just for one sec to talk to that other canuck
cheryl are you using photos from your high school year book?????
you look fantastico
thanks anne
mags0 -
Scans and PhotosAnneCan said:Thanks Cheryl!
Your room sounds like mine but you have taken it up a few notches! I just upgraded my cable recently to be able to get more movie channels. I have books ALL OVER my bedroom. I haven't really been in the mood for reading though. I know I have to accept what my body is saying, but I can be stubborn. Fighting the situation does not help!
I am with you regarding reading the scans; I wouldn't know where to begin reading them! My onc's nurse even said the onc isn't great at reading abdominal scans, so how can I expect to be? That's what radiologists are for.
I always follow with interest your theatre tales; my oldest daughter is doing her Masters in Theatre Studies + I find it all fascinating.
Just curious; how long does it take you to get scan results?
Thanks + take good care!
Hey Anne... I was just trying to figure that out. I usually don't think about it much because when I get a scan, the important thing for me is when my next oncologist appt. is... but of course, she schedules that around when my scan was . I think there's usually a week between the scan and my appt with the oncologist. There was one time when she had not gotten the results from the scan because I had just had it done like two days before. But she called down to talk to one of the radiologists who then gave her a verbal over the phone... and would follow up with the report/results in the usual time fashion. I get all my scans done at the BC Cancer Agency, so they are right there on site (3rd floor) with the oncologists' offices being on the 2nd floor. Two totally different departments but all in the same building.
That's great about your daughter getting her Masters in Theatre Studies! I know when I was still in high school, I soooo wanted to go on to university and major in theatre, but my parents would not let me. Back in those days (early 70s) the only options they gave me were to become a nurse or a teacher.... that is all they would pay for. I wasn't interested in either, so I never went on to University. Little did they know, theatre was my passion then and 40 years later, it's still my passion. On the other hand, if I had pursued Theatre as a career, I probably would have ended up in film, like a lot of my friends did. Good money to be made there but no security. Now, I wouldn't have known way back then that I would one day end up with cancer... so who knows how I would have been able to deal with it since I probably wouldn't have had access to Long Term Disability Insurance... nor would I have the option of retiring with full pension at age 55. So, it all worked out for the best in the long run
Maggie.... keep up those compliments and you will never be able to get rid of me!! LOL!!! The picture I have up now was taken this past Thursday. My hair is literally coming out by the handfuls now... well, even worse... I can grab on to a handful of hair and just slowly pull and it all comes out and I don't feel a thing. So this chemo somehow has released the hair from within the scalp and it just slides out with no pain. If I touch the top and sides of my head, the skin is very sensitive. But I can't feel a thing with the hair coming out. I go for my second chemo on Tues... with this much coming out now after the first treatment, I'm sure the rest will probably all come out by the second cycle. Soooo, the picture that I'm using for my avatar was the first time out in public with one of my wigs. And yes, I happen to like the wig... it's a hairstyle that I've always loved but my own hair would never be able to be cut like that. My hair has a mind of it's own and is too wild to be trained like that . Thanks for the high school yearbook compliment... I go to sleep a happy woman now (hahaha... can you believe, by looking at that picture that in 4 years I'll be 60 years old?? That just freaks me out!! Physically, I will be 60 in 4 years, but mentally, I stopped aging at 30 years)
Cheryl0
Discussion Boards
- All Discussion Boards
- 6 CSN Information
- 6 Welcome to CSN
- 121.6K Cancer specific
- 2.8K Anal Cancer
- 446 Bladder Cancer
- 308 Bone Cancers
- 1.6K Brain Cancer
- 28.5K Breast Cancer
- 395 Childhood Cancers
- 27.9K Colorectal Cancer
- 4.6K Esophageal Cancer
- 1.2K Gynecological Cancers (other than ovarian and uterine)
- 13K Head and Neck Cancer
- 6.3K Kidney Cancer
- 671 Leukemia
- 791 Liver Cancer
- 4.1K Lung Cancer
- 5.1K Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin)
- 234 Multiple Myeloma
- 7.1K Ovarian Cancer
- 56 Pancreatic Cancer
- 487 Peritoneal Cancer
- 5.4K Prostate Cancer
- 1.2K Rare and Other Cancers
- 534 Sarcoma
- 719 Skin Cancer
- 646 Stomach Cancer
- 190 Testicular Cancer
- 1.5K Thyroid Cancer
- 5.9K Uterine/Endometrial Cancer
- 6.3K Lifestyle Discussion Boards