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I Feel Like No One Understand

I feel like no one understands how I feel or cares like I'm supposed to just act like everything is fine when it's not. Like lossing my hair is the worst thing every and hardest thing that I ever had to go through. And I also feel like I'm fight this alone with no one to have my back or help me on my bad days or encourage me. Sometime I just need someone to hold me while I cry for a few mins cause I been holding it in I feel like if I break down I look weak and I have to stay strong for me cause I have no one else but my self. I tried and keep smiling and keep my head up.

The Journey has started...and here comes the first bump

The journey has begun and we have already encountered our first speed bump. All hopes of my husband's journey being easy have been shattered, and that is not a bad thing. If life were easy, then there would be no point to living life, in my opinion. 

The Beginning

It hadn't even crossed my mind, the term cancer. I knew what it was, I knew people who have had it, but I never thought that it would hit so close to home. My husband had been having problems for awhile now, and a few days ago I took him into out local ER because he was having problems breathing. After a CT scan and X-Rays, the ER doctor came back and said, " I don't have good news for you," he said, looking directly at us, "I have never seen lungs look like this, you have cancer." 

scarlett21's picture

Someone Else

I didn't feel like myself today. I was annoyed and angry and tired. I did go for walk this morning which was positive. I decicded to possibly start really slowly jogging. I want to get back into running but I'm not sure how my hips will hold up. It would be such a great thing if I could run again. After every time I walk or exercise, my hips end up hurting so I have to be careful with the jogging,

scarlett21's picture


I'm angry at what cancer took from me. It's taken time out of my life and given me overwhelming guilt for how it affects the ones I love. I'm so sick of it. I just want things to be normal. This isn't fair.

Newly Diagnosed with Adenocarcinoma-Endometrium

I am hoping to use this blog feature as a journal of questions, thoughts, wonderings etc along this journey through hell. I am not real old but feel so much older than I truely am at 63. I look so much older than before I mean heck Ive always had gray silver hair, worn glasses, have always been fat, well except when I was about 13 to 15 when I started gaining weight for a reason. But not the wrinkles, omg the wrinkles! The horrible texture of my skin, the eruptions are horrible, especially to someone who has never had or been vain about their looks.

scarlett21's picture

Hips Don't Lie

My hips are really hurting today. I every time I try to walk I end up limping an hobbling until it loosens up. I'm hoping a day or so of rest will make it feel better. I have oxycodone but it doesn't seem to help and just makes me sleepy. I don't want to injest any more pills than I have to. Is there anything that helps the pain of vascular necrosis? I tried putting an ice pack on my hip but that didn't work either. I'll try soaking in the bath tomorrow. After 100 days, I am greatful that I don't have anything worse than this.

Positive Cologuard test

My recent Cologuard test came back positive, much to my surprise!   I had a normal colonoscopy 11 yrs ago and opted for this since i was low risk and a bit afraid of i.v.sedation.  Now i am worrying myself sick and wish i had not done the Cologuard and had the colonoscopy.   I have an appt with the GI in a week for an evaluation.  Any encouraging words out there? I have read of the fasle positive result rate but am really scared.  Also, my first coloscopy showed a hemorroid which i sometimes flares up. No other symptoms at all.

scarlett21's picture

100 Days

Tomorrow will mark th 100th day after transplant. Along the way, it felt like this day would never come. I thought I would have a little more freedom than I do, but they started tapering me off of some medications which is I'm so happy about. I'm doing well other than my bladder virus and the vascular necrosis in my hips. My hips have been hurting more because I'm walking and exercising more. I recently had an MRI done of my hips this week. I'm hoping it doesn't say that they're worse but I have a feeling they are. Other than those things I feel good.


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