I'm a tough dude. I must be. I've survived a war, the loss of a stepchild, divorces, two cancers and a near major emotional breakdown. My style was one of going inside myself to draw on deep resources. When that style didn't work, I just endured, not knowing if I could survive or not. While I preached the necessity of everyone having a support group, I didn't feel that I really fit in anywhere; so community was a place for others. I rarely if ever feel lonely; so it was ok. And I made it through cancer.
And I suffered, silently for the most part, and began to become emotionally dead inside. Fortunately, one old friend, a dear soulmate persisted and sought me out, no, dragged me out. She brought the first inklings of a new life to me. Simultaneously, for whatever reason I visited the CSN chat room. These were real people, stripped of pretense, and they welcomed me, comforted me in ways they don't even know. And I began to unthaw and find joy in life again. I cannot ever go back to an earlier time before cancer. And I don't want to. This is much better.