Cancer Survivors Network

I'm trying to help a friend whose wife recently died. He has school aged children (older elementary and middle school) and this will be their first holiday without their mother.

He's considering taking them on a trip instead of attempting a traditional holiday, but is looking for resources or information on the pros and cons of that. Does anyone have experience with this situation? Or know of books or other internet sites that might address this? Until now their holidays have always been spent at home without extended family around - just the nuclear family.

The wife/mother died unexpectedly a few weeks ago. She did not have cancer, but I'm a recent cancer survivor so I know this board is a great resource, and that's why I'm posting here.

I have shared before, and it has only gotten worse. I work in a hospital and lost my mom only 3 MONTHS AGO!!!! If you anything about grief or decide to do your homework before making horrible conclusions, one might know that at 3 months it could get worse. Reality starts to kick in. But no! Not where I work, they expect me to be over my mom, my best friend in 3 months. I am so angry right now. I want to just walk out. please help me. I am here for my patients not for those who work here. I want to make a difference in my patients that have cancer and sometimes I need to release my cries or need to go for a walk bc i miss her so much and shed some tears and get encouragement from my father and they frown down on that bc they think I should be over that by now.

I am new to this site. I hope to gain friends here that actually understand and feel the pain and agony I do. I also hope to help one another through our pain and share stories of our loved ones that will make us laugh and even some that will make us cry and yet honor those who have moved on to Heaven.

(this may be very long, writing helps me to get out my feelings)

My story begins when I was a 7 year old innocent girl. We had an all american family. It was my mom, dad, and 2 brothers, one older and one younger. My mother had 6 sisters and it we had huge family outings weekly. We were actually at the beach with everyone when we foud out my mom has breast cancer at age 32.

I am new to this website and hope to gain friends and strength.

The subject of this discussion is one that I have been experiencing in my workplace. I am going to write my story when I get a chance, but right now I need to vent. People who have not been through what we have been through have no idea or concept of the word "grief"

"Grief" to us a real emotion, an emotion that is with us at every second of every day. I work in the health field and am 27 years old. I lost my mom 3 months ago and am grieving every day. It is like a rollar coaster and when people tell me they are "sick of the drama" referring to me having to cry or take a walk bc I miss my mother, I get very angry. When you lose someone sooo close to you, it takes years to work through.

My 55 year old wife of 11 years passed away 2 weeks ago, on 10-21-09. She was diagnosed with Stage IV non-small cell lung cancer in 01/2006, after having the disease misdiagnosed for most of 2005. We were told it was an uncurable form of lung cancer and we didn't know how much time we had left together - as it turns out it was a good amount of time compared to so many others. Still, it wasn't enough.

Cancer afforded us many blessings, just not the blessing of her continured life. I miss her so much and I find these days to be much harder than I expected. Between her death and her memorial service I had little time to grieve. Now our families have gone home, my friends have returned to their lives and I feel the profound emptiness that her passing has left in my life.

My husband of 29 years past away on 10/22/2009 after a 5 month battle with esophageal cancer. We married when we was in our early 20's and you think that you will grow old togeather do the thing you plan. after 29 years and two children now age 28 and 24 and 2 grandchildrens that i would not be so lost and feel that my world is upside down or that i would be so lonely. i wonder how i will get through another day the next not any better then the last one.

i know that my husband is now at peace and went home to his savior, but i needed him so he was my friend throught it all i always knew that he would be there when i got home from work, or if i went to my family on vacation.

Hey all I am new to this site. Wished I would have found it a long time ago. My name is Trinity. In Feb of 08, we found out Mom had stomach cancer. Very early, and with a simple surgery she would be like new again... A couple weeks later after futher testing an PET scan they found a tumor in her right upper lobe. 2 weeks later we were in UW of Madison, awaiting Moms surgery to remove her right upper lobe. After what was only supposed to take 2 hours end up taking 4.5hours, we found out that not only was it in her lung is also spread to her chest wall, and her ribs. She needed 5 ribs removed an they also scraped her chest wall. 4 days later Mom was home and in lots of pain, after numerous trips and stays to the hospital and her getting weaker they do her surgery on her stomach, only to find that chemo would have taken care of the tumor since it was so small. After the stomach surgery she went down hill fast and lost alot of weight. On June 20th Mom's 58th bithday, they released her from the hospital. We were all so happy to have her home, she on the other hand wasnt happy at all anymore, she always had a dark look in her eyes, like she had died inside. She then started getting the headaches. A few weeks later a ct scans shows a tumor has grown on her forntal lobe. It was unoperatable (like she could handle another operation anyways) so they gave her 10 rounds of radiation, chemo was out of the question she was already so thin and weak. After the radiation didnt work they sent her home an Hospice came in. Mom was bed bound even b4 coming out of the hospital. She held on for a few more months until November 3rd 2008. She fought an gave the cancer one h*ll of a black eye in those short 9 months.

On July 18, my mom passed away. For two years my dear mother fought her toughest battle. Unfortunately, it just wasn't enough.

She was a single mom with three kids of her own, including myself. It was just me and her in the house because the older two were off at college. I gave my life to her and cared for her as much I could, as much as a 15, 16 year old could do. For that alone, my heart breaks a little more everyday without her. I am so very lost without her. Although the loss of a parent is normal, I deserved a mom for more than sixteen years.

Not a day, minute, or second goes by where I don't think of her and her love. Being with her in her final moments is something that will never leave you. It does bring me comfort knowing she is no longer in pain. I just hope she is happy in heaven. All I want is for her to know I love her soooo much!

My sister who is only 46 years old is losing her fight agaisnst this horribly disease. I was in the ICU with her yesterday along with my mother, my sisters two step daughters, my husband and her 14 year daughter. We all have been fighting this with her for the last 3 years and it has reach her brain, and she is not the person we know. It is extremly hard to see her in that state, she was always the rock in the family. And the go to person...now we all are walking around looking for that person to lean on, and she is not there. Because it is the person we see lying in the hospital one minute she knows us the next she doesn't. My heart is being ripped from my chest. I am scared for her, not knowing what she is thinking or feeling. Need to know how to cope...she is going home tomorrow because that is what she wants.... but we all don't know how long there after she will continue to be with us. We all knew this day could and would come...but it is all still to much to handle.

Hello, im a 24 yr old who just lost my mom from colorectal cancer...she was struggling with severe pain for about 4 months and it hit her really quick...i dont know what to feel but most of the time, i feel normal, then a few times i broke down out of nowhere, like yesterday i was watching this show and they showed elderly, like in their 70s and 80s being homes being visited by their sons and daughters, then i realized my mom never even gotten to that point and i miss her dearly. I went back to work 3 weeks after to get my mind off things and it worked but during this labor day weekend has bee