Cancer Survivors Network

I feel so special to have been missed here! But Mom's last couple of weeks were so intense that there was no time for computers. Then, after returning home from 10 weeks as 24/7 caregiver, I feel like I slept for a week.

Mom passed away on January 19 after a 3-year battle with ovarian cancer. If you would like to see her tribute page, please google "Elaine Lundgren Duke".

For the past few days I have been writing thank-you notes to the many people who supported us for so long. I didn't want to do it, kept putting it off (by Southern standards of courtesy I'm running late), but it has turned out to be such a healing thing to review the many kindnesses that were generated by Mom's unfortunate circumstances. I also want to thank the many people here for your wisdom and support. On many days, this bulletin board was the best place to be.

Hello all,

I went back to the time I first started posting on CSN to reread what I have wrote and all the great replies. I saved them to my computer to reflect on the Journey that my loving husband took in 2011. I still miss him so much. I have a journal that I write in daily to Mark. I constantly cry crocodile tears from the time I wake up 'alone' in the morning til the time I go to bed at night 'alone'. I absolutely hate my new life without Mark. I have never ever experienced this pain of a broken heart in my life. Everyday is a reminder of last year's events.

I have been going to a support group on Tuesday nights (except for the last two) and have a grief counselor come by once a week or every other week. I am constantly sad and everyone I know has accepted the fact that I will never be the "same old Kelly".

My husband has Stage 3 Melanoma (was diagnosed in Feb last year) since then he has went through 2 surgeries, 6 weeks of radiaion, and is going through a year of interferon-alpha.

Technically he is cancer free, but yet we still have a long road ahead of us with the cancer being caught at a later stage. (hopefully not, but you have to be prepared that it could come back)

So...the interferon-alpha (chemo) is just a preventive measure, to help reduce the risk of cancer coming back. First 4 weeks of it he received the chemo through an IV every day, now he receives a shot 3 times a week. His side effects are flu like symptoms... he has days that are good, and days that are bad. He has to go through this for over a year to increase surivial rates by 5%.

I know it's the right thing to do but I am having anxiety over selling my husband's car this week. It's financially the right thing to do. He hadn't driven since June and I don't even like the car. I have been paying car insurance since then too so it doesn't make sense to keep it in the driveway.
That is the only thing that I was planning on getting rid of at the moment. I don't want to empty out the closets or his dresser yet either.
I thought the hardest was taking care of him, watching him deteriorate or watch him die but this is right up there!!!

Hi, my mom, 65, was just diagnosed with stage 3 follicular lymphoma. She wants to be seen at Dana Farber. Anyone know a good oncologist there? I'm sure they're all good, but looking expecially for one a patient/family member would recommend as having a great bedside member. Thanks.

I need to buy a chemotherapy ice cap for my mom , does anyone know where I can buy one?

Hi, hope everyone is hanging on. I wanted to share this feeling I have. My stomach is queasy and I feel overwhelmed. today when my husband awaken and was getting ready for chuch I heard his voice. His voice sounds muffled-as if his throat is sore. THis has been happening for a while but he got upset when I mentioned it. It sounded clogged. As I watched him, he struggled to get dressed, out of breath just going from the bathroom to our bed- about 15 feet. I get this queasy sick feeling when I watch him. I see a frighten young man-constantly on med. The up and down cycle is taking a toll on me. Sometimes I feel like I want to drink or take a drug to ease my mind. Please pray for us.

Hi Barbara. Just wondering how your mom is doing (and how you are holding up) It seems like You haven't posted for awhile. I hope you're still hanging in there.
Big hugs,
Cindy

Caregivers, I have written elsewhere that cancer is a family affair.
The role of the caregiver is that of the unsung hero in a war that kills
over a thousand people each day in America. The story is so sadly
repeatable - the patient dies and is buried and that is a finality. On
the other hand when the visitors leave, the flowers wilt and the
casseroles are all gone, the poor caregiver is left alone in what can be
a pit of grief. The deeper the love, the more the tendency to self
recrimination and wishing we could have done more. If not dealt with
this can in extreme cases be an uncalled for death spiral . The hope

I registered, did the email confirmation, filled out the about me etc. every time i click on the chat it comes up just long enough that i think the red lettering says im not registered then goes back to the same page i was on. It says im signed in on the website i desperate to talk to someone...