Cancer Survivors Network

I used to have a dream of a life so full of love, a home with a white picket fence and rocking chairs on the porch... God willing a child to raise, a home so full of laugher. Then cancer raised it's ugly head and took my life away. Now all I have are memories and dreams of what could have been. The house is empty and I am alone and the child will never be. My footsteps echo around the house with no one but me to hear. I can't smell you anymore.. I can't remember your voice... I can't remember your smile.... You don't come to me in my dreams.

I lied when I told you it was ok for you to go... All I wanted was for your pain to stop but now the pain is mine. My heart is broken.... I will never be the same, I miss you more than words can say and have cried a million tears. If I could just have one more day with you, a day free from hospitals, medications, pain and tears, a day to just love you and have you love me one more time.... we could sit and hold hands, look into each others eyes and know that we were mean't to be. I would make sure that the day would last forever..... But I have learnt the hard way... dreams never come true.. so until we meet again my love.. I will try to be strong... I will try and carry on living in this empty world. xxx

I am new to posting here, but have been reading for months.

My husband was diagnosed with Stage IV Prostate Cancer in May. It has mets in his entire lymph system, and every bone in his body. He was only given one treatment choice by several doctors. Hormone shots. He took the treatment, and continues with it. While it isn't fun, it is our only hope. Our oncologist, whom he likes, said that after a year or maybe two, the hormone shots could make enough of a difference that he might actually become a candidate for chemo. That is his first goal.

When he was first diagnosed, he took a few months off of work by going on catastrophic leave. There were many donations of time for his sick pay bank. He works in law enforcement, so there is never a shortage of help from his fellow deputies. In late September, he decided to go back to work on modified duty. He continues this now.

Hubby has deteriorated drastically over the last week and on Tuesday I had to call the ambulance because he could not move. He is now in hospital. The doctors have suggested he be moved to a hospice unit. Hubby asked me early on to try to keep him home and not in a hospice unit. However all the facilities I have spoken have indicated they will only help with meds and not with any part of his care. Paramjeet is tall and weighs 90kg+ It takes 3 nurses to sponge him down in hospital. How am I supposed to do that at home on my own. I am spending 14 hour days at hospital because they seem short staffed. He cannot talk beyond yes and no and sometimes he says yes when he means no. I feel awful that I may not be able to bring him home. Then there is the need to ensure the kids are involved which is hard because the hospital is an hour away.

Ten years ago, I was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer. I was 59 years old. Here I am at 69, still alive and kicking. My doctors cannot believe it and they've written me up in the medical journals. I've gone through chemotherapy and radiation and I am grateful for the wonderful care I've had at Pennsylvania Hospital. As important, I've had love and TLC from family and friends. I want to share with you the spiritual insights which have kept me alive this long. My co-author, Maria, and I have written a book that we want to share with you. It costs $7.00 which covers our printing costs and postage.

Greetings,

My name is Shanta, my son is 10 years old and one of his bestfriends has Cancer, my son is trying to be a support group by his self for his friend, he also see's how hard it is to deal with the treatment and the mental issues and most of all the heartache of losing your normal childhood. My son has started a Non-Profit organization which is called Life is Love this organization was built to develop support groups to provide direct support with families, and address the critical needs of the families and surviviors.

When my son was 9 years old he asked me to help him with this project I was in tears, I was excited and scared at the same time. I've never dealt with the pain that some parents are dealing with but I know the pain of losing a child because I've lost one. So parents if you would help me to help you in your situation to start up cancer walks, fundraisers to find a cure or to just show kids that Life is Love. We can help so many kids to stay young through laughter and joy. Please email me at lslcmaddox@aol.com or write me back the foundation was just approved and the website will be up next week.

I'm not sure I can take much more... Just over 15 weeks ago I lost the love of my life and now my partners mother is dying.. she was admitted to hospital with complications with her congested heart failure. Two weeks have passed and now the Dr's keep telling me that medically she is back to normal but she is refusing to eat, refusing to drink and just keeps telling me she wants to die. She is 90 and the family have told me... what will be will be ... let her go.. she wants to go. She can't go on much longer without eating... how on earth am I going to get through this... then Thanksgiving... then my birthday... then Christmas and New Years

I received a letter from Jerry today. Holly passed away on Sunday Nov 8th at 10pm. Jerry was right beside her holding her hand. Holly had spent the last 9 days at the Joliet area hospice home. Jerry was by her side with the exception of a few breaks when the oldest daughter or other family members took over. Jerry is trying to learn how to use a computer, so learning about e-mail and all her contacts is a bit hard.
Holly was such a special person in my life. We shared our love of the outdoors and children together. Her will to keep fighting was truly amazing. She appreciated each day she was here.

Yesterday the nurse was here from hospice and as she was getting ready to leave, she asked me if I had made any funeral arrangements yet. I advised that I had not. She recommended that I start making them next week. She caught me off guard. When she called this morning, I asked her if she thought my husband would make it through the holidays. She advised that he would probably be okay for Thanksgiving but not for Christmas. I have spoken with my brother-in-law and asked him to go with me next week to make arrangements. I am at a loss for words.

I finally found a doctor in my state that knows about Carcinoid Cancer and i went to him yesterday for the first time only to be told we don't see patients here at this hospital or cancer clinic that does'nt have health insurance.I finally ended having to scrape up $100.00 just to be seen and talk with this doctor whom i really like but he has an issue of test he wants to do and says i need to do something about health insurance.I was diagnosed in May 2009 with Carcinoid Tumor in my small intestine.Had mastasized to 4 of my lymph glands and he says theres a 50/50 chance i have another tumor th

I haven't heard anything about Holly for sometime now, has anyone got an update on how she is doing? Thanks. Blessings, Bluerose