41 yrs old, 4 children, 6-13 2 boys 2 girls. Diagnosed 8-19-08 stage iv colon cancer,to some it would make sad,to some they would be scared,to me it made me mad. I like life to much to die,and for someone to tell me my life was limited,I just could'nt agree with that. I'm going to live to a ripe old age one way or another. I believe this is only something I must walk through to get closer to JESUS.
My story is not as critical as some I have heard. But I still struggle. After diagnosis of a small early stage tumor in the anus mid December 2007, I started chemo therapy (2 weeks) in conjunction with a 5 week treatment of radiation(5 days a week for 5 weeks). At the end of the 5 weeks of radiation (and the 2 week chemo) I became very sick. I was hospitalized with a 0 immune system and radiation enteritis. The hospital stabilized me and I was sent home 11 days later on a cream liquid diet with instructions to slowly introduce new foods as the diarrhea began to subside. By June I was feeling mmore energetic and was eating some fresh fruit and vegetables as tolerated as well as meat and carbs. Then my doctor ordered a follow-up CT scan and it turned up a spot on my gall-bladder. The doctors thought it may be another cancer so within 3 weeks I had my gall-bladder removed. Thank God there was no cancer - just an inflamed lymph node. I went home the day after that surgery to begin recovery again. Today, I have resumed most of my daily activity. Some days more energetic than others. I try to walk a mile almost every day and lift weights and do stretching, soaking in my jacuzzi, and icing my bothersome arthritic body parts. I am still using sleep medication and I still have a lot of anxiety. I am still dealing with anal bleeding when passing stool, irritation, itiching and at times sores. But my biggest prooblem is me. Trying to stay positive, social. My husband has been very supportive through all this. But I get very impatient with my body.
I'll tell more of my story later...after a while its all the same...this size lump and that. When did we find it. How long have we been surviving.
I was 34 and now I'm 42. I never said why me. I wrote books and then I hid away. If I learned and say anything its that cancer isn't one disease and no two people have the same experience. People want to put us in categories and we just won't fit. So I exclaim embrace your cancer like your fingerprint. Its all in your DNA. And make the best of what it has given you. (And remind me that I said this when I'm having a bad day.)
I've made a small life endeavor here to help other survivors...mainly younger mindset ones, but just because that's who I am. I used to sing and model so of course I had issues with physicality, even if it did seem silly or vain. (I've since learned that vanity drives most of the world and we deny what is innate in us in the name of being self-actualized. I'm actually quite confident in myself spiritually. But I read those stories of people who say they shouldn't be worried about their hair or a colostomy bag. Really who wouldn't?) But its amazing what we embrace. I've become known a bit for my work in my own program "facing forward", which is like a younger "look good" concept. Working on an ebook now to compliment it. But if anyone has questions or I find a place to help on a message board I'll post.