Adult Medullarblastoma and aftermath

In all respects, I am extremly lucky and I know this. I was diagnosed with Medullarblastoma in October 2016 at age 31. I’ve had muiltiple surgeries will have finished my chemo a year in April. Before cancer, I was a very active person- I have a four year old, I fostered cats, I enjoyed yoga very much, and I was an avid gardener. But after having cancer I can barely even keep my house clean! I am also left with very low self-estee- I lost all my hair and I am left with huge dark circles that even makeup doesn’t hide. doing the activities that would have boosted my self esteem, like yoga or walking, are often times too much for me. It’s incredibly frustrating because I am relatively young and have always been in decent shape. My doctors tell me that in time things will get better. But that prognosis is difficult to believe. I look nothing like I used to and that is very upsetting to me. I feel that going through cancer and the treatment was quite enough. 

Not to mention that I was very ill for almost nine months of my child’s life. The guilt is almost too much at times. We are making progress together but I still feel awful when I think of those months. 

I guess, I really love to hear some encouragement from other survivors. l’d like to hear how others got through this fatigue and depression.