Please advise: mouth cancer

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hannajw
hannajw Member Posts: 3
edited December 2016 in Head and Neck Cancer #1

Hi there,

A few days back I met with an accident and suffered few injuries and lost 4 teeth. After a few days, I called in a doctor to fix my teeth. I decided to try partial denture or dental implant to fix it. While he checked my teeth he discovered some discolor in my mouth and he recommended to take  Oral brush biopsy to check whether its oral cancer or not. 2 days back results came by and the doctor confirmed it's the starting stage of mouth cancer. He referred me to a cancer specialist near to my place. I’m so tensed to reveal this to my husband and children. I’m planning to treat this without their knowledge.I’m going to meet the cancer specialist tomorrow. Please pray for me.

Thanks

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  • CivilMatt
    CivilMatt Member Posts: 4,722 Member
    #2
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    welcome

    hannajw,

    Welcome to  the H&N forum, sorry that you find yourself here.

    If after you meet with a cancer specialist and it truly turns out to be cancer the chances of you having it treated successfully are very good, the chances of hiding treatments from your family is not so good.  For most of us, this was no walk in the park, no matter how we wished it was.   I’ll pray that you have the wisdom to share what you will know with your family.

    For now, wait to find out what you have and then discuss with your doctor and then go from there.

    Matt

  • hannajw
    hannajw Member Posts: 3
    edited November 2016 #3
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    Even I want to share it with

    Even I want to share it with them. But when I think about the pain and suffering they had to go through because of me. I feel like not to let them know. But I know that eventually, I have to tell them. Anyway, I will decide after my consultation.

  • Tonita
    Tonita Member Posts: 197 Member
    #4
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    Don't underestimate your

    Don't underestimate your family.  You must involve your husband through this journey.  "for better or worse, in good times and bad, in sickness and in health". 

  • swopoe
    swopoe Member Posts: 492
    edited November 2016 #5
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    First, I am sorry you are

    First, I am sorry you are dealing with this. But as a caregiver to my husband who was diagnosed with stage 1 tongue cancer last year, let me offer you my perspective. It was my honor and privilege to be there for my husband...the one I promised on the day that we got married that I would be there for in sickness and health. Do I wish cancer never entered our lives? Of course. But it did, and to be able to help my husband when he needed it the most, for him to trust me to do so, well it was an honor. We have been married for 15 years, and while I though our marriage was strong before, it is even stronger now. Share with your family. You will need their support no matter what, and they will give it to you. Wishing you all my best.

  • cbeaz4626
    cbeaz4626 Member Posts: 35
    edited November 2016 #6
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    I sure do understand where

    I sure do understand where you're at.  When I was diagnosed I had only been married to my husband for 8 months.  I didn't want to tell him.  I didn't want to cause him pain either but the fact that I thought it would cause him pain only meant that he loves me and cares about my future.   My son is older so I did tell him after telling my husband.  However if I had young children I would not tell them, at least not initially.  If they have caught this early then its good but it doesn't mean that your journey will be easy.  Head and neck cancer is one of the hardest to walk through but it is often times treatable.  You obviously have to make your own decisions about when you tell but I would encourage you to share it with your husband.  You'll need his support.  My husband was amazing through my journey.

  • Lorikat
    Lorikat Member Posts: 681 Member
    #7
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    I'm a two time cancer

    I'm a two time cancer survivor, melanoma and anal cancer.  TELL YOUR FAMILY!  You will need their support!

  • phrannie51
    phrannie51 Member Posts: 4,716
    #8
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    You are right in not telling your

    family until after the consultation....that way you have real information for your husband.  I can't see getting through treatment tho, without anyone knowing....that just doesn't happen.  I was nervous telling my husband because I just couldn't see him being a nursemaid to me....it didn't seem to be in his genes.  I lined up my sisters to be caretakers....as much as they could be since they both work.  My husband was very hurt that I didn't trust him to want to care for me.

    All in all....he was the BEST caretaker a person could ask for.  I saw a side to him I didn't know existed (that's after 30 years)...our relationship today is better than it ever was before cancer.  Don't be afraid...cancer is a family disease.

    p

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