Opinons please. relationship problem with mom

Sorry this is so long. What do you guys think of this.  My mom has been taking care of me for the most part since my diagnosos of cancer back in may.  Others have done things to  especially at the begining.  One of my sisters was a huge help when i fisrt found out.  She went to my initial doctors appointment and helped me call every one bought me and my kids pizza that night so i didnt have that on my plate.  Every one in my family helped while i was in the hospital with my kids.  They all came to visit me in the hospital.  One stayed with me one of the whole days. 

My point here is to say that my mom and I are having a hard time at times.  We get in these angry epasodes.  More than once. I feel she just doesnt listen to me and what i need at times and when she does hear me sometimes she cant do the things for me (or at leat she thinks she cant).  Dont get me me wrong here.  She does alot for me a whole lot sometimes.  Last sunday we had one of our angry episodes.  Friday, two days before she called and I was feeling down.  It was a few days after my chemo treatment and was feeling discouraged about going to work.  So she came over and i decided to go stay with her for the weekend.  I was so greatful she called. Things were okay but not perfect until sunday in her car when she took me home. I didnt want to drive.  The epesodes seem to be about me getting what I need. She doesnt understand me.  She told me she thinks that i want her  to treat me like im the only one in the universe. I cant remember how she said it but it felt rude to me and untrue.  There has been many times when i told her to go and do things for herself.  In fact friday i wanted to call her before she called me and didnt because i had a feeling she was doing something she often does on fridays. I wanted her to have that time.  Any ways it bothers me and even hurts when she thinks and complaines that i want special treatment.  The thing is sometimes i feel she wants me to give her special treament as the caregiver. She wants me to excuse her weeknesses if that makes sence.  My mom forgets things sometimes.  Dont we all.  I do.  So she wants me to be the one to help her remember. 

We have been talking on the phone the last week and i have been okay with that.  It took a few days but things were okay this week.  I could have went to her house this weekend again but decided not to. Instead i invited her to go shoping with me.  Not because i have cancer and need her help, just because it would be fun.  She told me not tonight but tomarrow (which is today).  She told me she would call by noon to decide and then she said if i forget to call you call me.  She asked me if i would  call I said maybe.  I figure if she really wants to go she will remember to call.  I can do this stuff by my self.  I really want her to want to go.  I want it to be her choice though.  I guess after all her complaining i especially want it to be her choice.  She didnt like it when i said maybe. She wanted me to call.  I think she does remember things and i do think she can remember if she wants to. Sometimes she just wants to do other things and just says yes because she has a hard time saying no.