The hits may be small but..

Nevertheless
Nevertheless Member Posts: 5
in Breast Cancer #1

I'm doing well physically.  Chemo shrunk things so I was able to have a lumpectomy and the 41 lymph nodes removed were all negative and I am grateful for that.  I have a small but terrific support system.  But it seems like the hits just keep on coming.  Things like a port that stopped working before I even finished chemo, chemo "Body reactions", low WBC hospitalization, missing he last 1/4 of the school year because of surgery and a lymph drain that took 5 + weeks to be removed, and now finding out that radiation means I can do nothing much more than walk for the next 2 months and then just have a couple of weeks to do anything before starting school again.  What do you do when you reach the point where you feel like the only reactions possible are curling up in a sobbing ball, throwing things, or isolating yourself and saying "the hell with this.  I quit."  Cuz quite honestly that is where I am right now.

Comments

  • Puffin2014
    Puffin2014 Member Posts: 531 Member
    edited May 2016 #2
    hugs and prayers

    I know, it just keeps coming and coming. Hugs and prayers coming your way. It's easy to focus on what is NOT going our way. Try writing down 3 things every day that you're grateful for, or that are going well for you. Focusing on the good can take away some of the power the bad has over our thinking. Start planning something special that you can look forward to doing those 2 weeks before school starts. With chemo behind you, you really do have the worst done. Though going to radiation every day was an inconvenience, I did start getting my energy back and started feeling better during that time, just made sure I used the creams the way the doctor ordered so my skin stayed good.

    You're in the home stretch now, you can do this.

  • Teach76
    Teach76 Member Posts: 351 Member
    #3
    Looking forward to September

    Hi there.  I was so glad to see someone who shares in my life on a practical level.  Like you, I have gone through treatment this school year - I actually missed the entire year.  I thought I would be all finished by January, then March, then May . . . right now I am waiting to begin radiation as well, and I share your concern of being ready to get back to the classroom in the Fall.  Let's look at our target date in late August and keep reminding our care providers that we have an agenda.  I am passing time by getting a head start on some of the things I will use with the students.  In that way, when I do get back I have some things done so when I get home at the end of the day I can just crash if needed.

    I suppose we can just be nocturnal this summer, but remember, there is still lots of fun to be had after the sun goes down, and we don't have to be up early to get to school!

     

    best regards,

    Kathy

  • button2
    button2 Member Posts: 421
    #4
    But the hits aren't small, they are BIG!

    You have gone thru so much and I remember thinking the exact same way. I was unable to do exercise as well, so I really amped up the walking. A couple of times I even walked home from radiation which was about 12 miles! It's amazing how great walking and a clean diet can make you feel (plus daily naps). A year from now you'll feel better than ever. Don't give up now, you are almost THERE! Hugs, Anna

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #5
    hugs

    hugs

  • Nevertheless
    Nevertheless Member Posts: 5
    edited May 2016 #6
    disneyfan2008 said:

    hugs

    hugs

    Thank You

    Thank you for your encouragement and support.  Hope your journey is going well.

  • Nevertheless
    Nevertheless Member Posts: 5
    #7
    button2 said:

    But the hits aren't small, they are BIG!

    You have gone thru so much and I remember thinking the exact same way. I was unable to do exercise as well, so I really amped up the walking. A couple of times I even walked home from radiation which was about 12 miles! It's amazing how great walking and a clean diet can make you feel (plus daily naps). A year from now you'll feel better than ever. Don't give up now, you are almost THERE! Hugs, Anna

    Thank You

    Thank you for the encouragement.  I have been eating a lot healthier with fresh vegies and fruits and trying new recipes.    We acgtually have a pretty good park system here and Tuesday evening I went to one which had recently opened and walked for a little over an hour.  I was exhausted but the last half hour was on an unfamiliar trail, so I had to finish LOL.  It will be a long time, if ever, before I am up to anything like 12 mile, but it was really good to be outside and active.

  • Nevertheless
    Nevertheless Member Posts: 5
    edited May 2016 #8
    Puffin2014 said:

    hugs and prayers

    I know, it just keeps coming and coming. Hugs and prayers coming your way. It's easy to focus on what is NOT going our way. Try writing down 3 things every day that you're grateful for, or that are going well for you. Focusing on the good can take away some of the power the bad has over our thinking. Start planning something special that you can look forward to doing those 2 weeks before school starts. With chemo behind you, you really do have the worst done. Though going to radiation every day was an inconvenience, I did start getting my energy back and started feeling better during that time, just made sure I used the creams the way the doctor ordered so my skin stayed good.

    You're in the home stretch now, you can do this.

    Thank you

    Thank ou so much for your reply and support.  I will definitely start doing lists of the positives.  Including having weekends free for things and that staying in town will give me time (force me :-) to get a lot prepared for next school year.

  • Nevertheless
    Nevertheless Member Posts: 5
    #9
    Teach76 said:

    Looking forward to September

    Hi there.  I was so glad to see someone who shares in my life on a practical level.  Like you, I have gone through treatment this school year - I actually missed the entire year.  I thought I would be all finished by January, then March, then May . . . right now I am waiting to begin radiation as well, and I share your concern of being ready to get back to the classroom in the Fall.  Let's look at our target date in late August and keep reminding our care providers that we have an agenda.  I am passing time by getting a head start on some of the things I will use with the students.  In that way, when I do get back I have some things done so when I get home at the end of the day I can just crash if needed.

    I suppose we can just be nocturnal this summer, but remember, there is still lots of fun to be had after the sun goes down, and we don't have to be up early to get to school!

     

    best regards,

    Kathy

    Thank you

    Kathy,

    Thank you for your encouragement and support.  It was hard to be so in and out with the kids so much of the year and especially to miss the entire last quarter.  Missing an entire year must have been really difficult.  Here's go a great and healthy 2016 -2017 school year and life for both of us !!!

  • awsmGirl
    awsmGirl Member Posts: 38
    #10
    Hang in there!

    I am at the very start of my journey -- my first Chemo is next week -- and i look to people like you who have been the course, who are owning and expressing the downsides and seeking strength to keep going!  You are my hope!  Best wishes to you!Smile

  • dpletzke
    dpletzke Member Posts: 11
    #11
    awsmGirl said:

    Hang in there!

    I am at the very start of my journey -- my first Chemo is next week -- and i look to people like you who have been the course, who are owning and expressing the downsides and seeking strength to keep going!  You are my hope!  Best wishes to you!Smile

    chemo

    Hi,

    I'm going for my third treatment on Tuesday. I see you're having your first one next week. Having a good nurse helps. Keeping the experience positive helps too. I spend a lot of time on my phone. Some friends got me an adult coloring book and gel pens that helps too.

    Bring somethings to do that will distract you. I brought my son who is 22 and I could keep my chin up because he was there.

    Debbie

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