Is God preparing us?

I don't honestly know if this will help, but I am going to try.  My husband is a 5 1/2 year survivor of stage 4 prostate cancer and eveyday can be a joy and a battle.  My life is a roller coaster, as I am sure yours it. I try to focus always on the positive even when the issues around us are not about the cancer and the battle we are fighting together.  Keep praying and thanking God for every moment whether special or the ordinary.  Laugh and pray every single day...espcially the hard ones.  I listen to Joel Osteen on sirius xm daily...he uplifts my spirit no matter how bad the day.  I only tell you that because of how much his ministry has helped my soul.  I don't consider myself religious, but I do consider myself a woman of great faith.  As much as my husband is my rock and I am his...I rely on faith to get me through. 

I have also found great support and stregnth through Relay For Life.  We have been involved since 2013 and have participated in five Relays.  It truly inspires me and gives me a whole new network of people that can help support you and your husband. 

Lean on the people you love and cherish every single moment you have.  I pray that you have many years with your husband and you fill many volumes of memories.

Take care.

cheatinlil said:

THank you hope for your

THank you hope for your response.  I'm sorry we are both here but I'm glad we are not alone. 

It is hard not to feel alone sometimes.  We have been struggling financially as well.  My husband retired about 1 1/2 after his diagnosis due to several health factors.  Some were cancer related and some not.  I have been considering cashing out my 401K despite the penalty and paying off absolutely everything that I can.  I have very good insurance, but I am being forced to move to a high deductible plan, which means nothing (including prescriptions) is covered until we meet our deductible.  It will be a tough year.  I hate to cash it out.  It my nest egg despite its 'small' size. 

I told my husband the same thing that you did.  I would rather lose everything we have than lose him because we didn't try.  He is several years older than me, so I have always kind of understood that we may not be together 'forever'.  I hope it doesn't come to losing everything, but I'll cross that bridge when we get to it.  I guess my bigger fear is watching him suffer.  You wouldn't know he had cancer if you saw him.  He has no real outward signs.  He does have side effects to his treatments, but he has his hair and he tires easily, but does not look ragged and worn out.  When I start to dwell on the negative I try very hard to turn it over to God.  I pray for strength and grace for every situation I face. 

I continue to wish you strength and peace from God.  All the best.

cheatinlil said:

I don't know much BUT we are

I don't know much BUT we are waiting till my husband is 59 1/2 (February of 2016) to cash in his 401K.  Its an early retireiment age and there is no penalty.  I don't know how old your hubby is but it is also something to consider.  Plus if we are still struggeling this time next year, I'm going to refinance my house for 30 years.  You may think about that becaus it will make your monthly bills lower.  One more thing, in case we have to claim the cash in as income, I'm waiting till next year to at least not have to claim any more this year.  Keep posting.  You are not alone!  Hugs!

 

Another thing is I hope you have a tax person because I count every medical expense as a tax deduction.  It includes mileage for treatment, parking and even hotel stays, and of course the huge bills. 

I'm not sure that God or anyone else can prepare you for the loss of the person you have been joined at the hip with for many years. I have been where both you and Hope are and have now lost my husband and daughter to Cancer within a 14 month period. Did I know it was coming? YES Did I believe it? NO Yet it happened.

I am glad you each have some type of financial plan in the wings. My husband had no retirement and no life insurance. As I continue to struggle with my losses emotionally, I struggle each day to pay bills and buy food. I lost my retirement when the stock market died a few years ago and Social Security does not go far.

Even if you are financially stable, be prepared for your lives to turn upside down.

My thoughts are with you both.

Luv,

Wolfen

cheatinlil said:

I don't know much BUT we are

I don't know much BUT we are waiting till my husband is 59 1/2 (February of 2016) to cash in his 401K.  Its an early retireiment age and there is no penalty.  I don't know how old your hubby is but it is also something to consider.  Plus if we are still struggeling this time next year, I'm going to refinance my house for 30 years.  You may think about that becaus it will make your monthly bills lower.  One more thing, in case we have to claim the cash in as income, I'm waiting till next year to at least not have to claim any more this year.  Keep posting.  You are not alone!  Hugs!

 

Another thing is I hope you have a tax person because I count every medical expense as a tax deduction.  It includes mileage for treatment, parking and even hotel stays, and of course the huge bills. 

I probably need a tax person.  I currently do it myself.  Thanks for the advice!!!

Hugs!