anyone else finding found OVCA recurrence MUCH harder emotionally than initial dx?

Susan P
Susan P Member Posts: 103
in Ovarian Cancer #1

Again - her I go expecting too much of myself. I think - had been lulled into a false sense of security for over a year- all the while pretty sure it would come back WELL  if it does, "ll just fight it again .  I've lost some of the oomph - this time it issmall bowel restriction. so eating & digesting is a problem - as were vomitting & drreah - until I smarted up my eatng & take my dex & anti nausea. - not feeeling well is making it seeem much more rel thyan the 1st fight.

 

 

I'm crying alot & generally unhappy.

 

I have a physical disability that really hampers mobility & causes fatigue.

 

 

So I get even less done & make trhing harder for hubby when I have more trouble -- feel soi useless& guilty  such a nusense.

 

I kno in my case it is exacerbated by my left side paraysis.

 

 

 

Justr generally wonder if the recurrence seemed to hit emotionally much worse

 

Tks again,

 

Susan P from southern Alberta Canada & TX & WY

Comments

  • kikz
    kikz Member Posts: 1,345 Member
    #2
    It's so hard

    My first recurrence hit me hard because of course it put an end to the dream of it never coming back.  I took the second recurrence in stride because I expected it to return.  I went through six infusions and did not get to remission but my oncologist wanted to give me a break.  After six months it became necessary to resume chemo because what was a small mass became three.  I have had two infusions and although I am generally upbeat, I find I am more pessimistic about the possibility of remission.  My oncologist says it's possible but I have kind of lost my hope.  But of course all we can do is move forward.  My best to you.

    Karen

  • Jue
    Jue Member Posts: 80
    #3
    Hi susan , yes recurrence so

    Hi susan , yes recurrence so much harder , I had 1st carbo thursday after 8 attempts to get a vein they put in a picc line in my arm , then chemo what should have been an 90 min visit it was nearer 4 hours ! I felt well and truly back to the horrible reality of having ovarian cancer , I'm sad im 48 and wondering how many more times I can do this , I love my life my family so I guess I will fight to the bitter end , I'm hoping that's a long way in the future ,  I think this is just an emotional time for us  I knew I would recur and was told from the start by docs but we all hope for nice long remmisions , mine even with Avastin was only a year , I'm hoping for you me and Karen more NED  . Jue x

  • Lily_Anne
    Lily_Anne Member Posts: 39
    #4
    Jue said:

    Hi susan , yes recurrence so

    Hi susan , yes recurrence so much harder , I had 1st carbo thursday after 8 attempts to get a vein they put in a picc line in my arm , then chemo what should have been an 90 min visit it was nearer 4 hours ! I felt well and truly back to the horrible reality of having ovarian cancer , I'm sad im 48 and wondering how many more times I can do this , I love my life my family so I guess I will fight to the bitter end , I'm hoping that's a long way in the future ,  I think this is just an emotional time for us  I knew I would recur and was told from the start by docs but we all hope for nice long remmisions , mine even with Avastin was only a year , I'm hoping for you me and Karen more NED  . Jue x

    Definitely

    I kind of expected to recover from the cancer because my consultant was so upbeat, its only stage 1 etc, etc. So after 3 years of NED it has hit me like a speeding train, especially as it has recurred in the pelvis. 

    It's hard on our loved ones who are as svared as we are, I'm not a crier but I have bee the last couple of days so totally undersatdn how you feel. I'm sending lots of positive vibes your way, there may be a cure near us we just have to pray for it.

     

    LA

  • Jue
    Jue Member Posts: 80
    #5
    Lily_Anne said:

    Definitely

    I kind of expected to recover from the cancer because my consultant was so upbeat, its only stage 1 etc, etc. So after 3 years of NED it has hit me like a speeding train, especially as it has recurred in the pelvis. 

    It's hard on our loved ones who are as svared as we are, I'm not a crier but I have bee the last couple of days so totally undersatdn how you feel. I'm sending lots of positive vibes your way, there may be a cure near us we just have to pray for it.

     

    LA

    I hope so lily Ann ,

    I hope so lily Ann , recurring after 3 years NED must be so hard , I'm guessing life was just getting back to normal a little when it happened , this really is a sneaky unforgiving Cancer it gives us hope then snatches it away .  A cure or way to long ned is needed for all of us , hugs to you lily Ann get fighting . Jue x

  • pandagypsy
    pandagypsy Member Posts: 113
    #6
    YES

    I also had a reoccurance of stage IV OVCA last year.......I really understand where you're coming from............just when I thought it was "safe" to "live again" (as in, make plans) BAM.....it's back after 4 years. Reoccurance was bad, physically & mentally........this time I ended up in the hospital..........had a couple of transfusions........left with neuropathy.......it sucks.  Just when I think I am getting better, the brain drain kicks in.........or the hurt and loss of feeling in hands and feet haunts me and stops me from doing things I used to do. 

    I turned in my car keys after crashing the golf cart into our awning............I think I am too medicated to function........so depressing.........my husband does almost everything............I try to do something and either break something, drop something, hurt myself, or just fail at what I'm trying to do.....but I keep trying to convince myself............ONE DAY AT A TIME. Please know that you are not alone...........try to get a good day in once in a while.......it's all we can do............

Discussion Boards