Dealing with too many emotions after treatment and in remission

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cmorales428
cmorales428 Member Posts: 5
in Breast Cancer #1

Hello everyone,

 

I needed some support here.  I am in remission as of June 11th, 2015 and I am a hard time dealing with all these emotions.  First, let me say that I've had to deal with a lot of "other stuff" while going through treatment.  Its hard to discuss here on an open forum, let's just say it was ALOT.. Now, I feel off and unable to really function. I feel like I'm suppose to go back to the way I was before I got sick.  How do does a person handle it?  Just to give you guys a little bit of info, I'm married for 14 years with 3 boys.. Hopefully someone can help me..thank you

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  • RozHopkins
    RozHopkins Member Posts: 578 Member
    #2
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    Well sounds like you have had

    Well sounds like you have had your hands full but come through the treatment no matter what came your way.  That's amazing on its own.  Good for you.  You must be a strong woman.  Life doesn't stop just because we get cancer sadly.  Do what ever it takes to make you feel better, more confident, keep positive friends and family close, it tends to rub off.  Have at least one person close you can say what ever you are going through and can trust with your feelings, who are sympathetic, and listen.  Have any of your other problems been resolved?   To lighten the load.  Because you are just through treatment, very early days.  This time is really all about you and should be and may be for some time yet.  Depending on treatment and your personality as we don't know what you have had done exactly.  The way people view cancer can be hurtful, especially if your partner, family, friends and children.  Some don't know how to cope, some can even turn on you as if it was your own fault, some are wonderful, some dismissive on and on.  Several ladies even found their spouse so cold they divorced and are much happier.  Funny how we don't know who we have really married.  Some have lost friends because of their bad attitude.  Hence keep the best people close and lean on them.  I think you are amazing going through this with a family in tow.  I was lucky mine were grown and left the nest.  By the way, neither child ever asked me how I was doing but it was because they were terrified.  They unloaded and lent on my husband for support and I understood this even though it seems strange to some.  

  • eihtak
    eihtak Member Posts: 1,473 Member
    #3
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    cmorales428......

    Hi,

    Congratulations on getting through your treatment! It is often thought by others that once the chemo, radiation, or surgery, is over we are supposed to return to our old selves.....almost instantly, and then we start to think that too!

    Unfortunately the emotional part of healing from such a traumatic event is an on-going process, and like the other parts of this journey it is different for us all. Having other "stuff" as you said to deal with and raising a family can make moving forward very difficult. I don't think I really ever did go back or will go back to being the person I was 5 years ago, but in time I came to realize that that is just fine as I now like the person I am much better. There are many parts of my life that have remained the same, but the way I look at them is different.

    I joined a couple support groups both on-line and in person and for me that was very helpful. I am lucky to have friends and family that tried hard to be supportive, and they were, but there are just some parts of all this that they just can't know or understand unless they've been there themselves. It is encouraging for me to talk to and listen to others who share a similar experience and make me feel less alone in dealing with this disease.

    Please stay in touch and be patient and good to yourself as you move forward.

    katheryn

  • button2
    button2 Member Posts: 421
    #4
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    Hey there!

    I'm not in remission yet, but I can relate. I think the trick is not going back to how you were. We aren't the same and I think that's ok. I like to think of myself as the "new and improved" version! I try not to waste time on negative people and spend time with those I love. Enjoy your boys and husband, life is a true gift. Hugs, Anna

  • cmorales428
    cmorales428 Member Posts: 5
    #5
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    button2 said:

    Hey there!

    I'm not in remission yet, but I can relate. I think the trick is not going back to how you were. We aren't the same and I think that's ok. I like to think of myself as the "new and improved" version! I try not to waste time on negative people and spend time with those I love. Enjoy your boys and husband, life is a true gift. Hugs, Anna

    Thank you ladies for your understanding

    Thank you ladies for your understanding.. I realized that being different is okay with my family.  Actually, it was me having a hard time, but once I started to think about ways to handle my life with a new persective, I no longer felt afraid.  I realized that during this journay, I found the inner strenght to survive and live one day at a time.  Having my boys and husband truly make life wonderful.. You're right Ladies, my family is a true gift.Smile

     

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #6
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    Sorry you are going through

    Sorry you are going through so much-perhaps keeping a jounal. I rec'd one as a gift from the cancer center and felt goofy , writing it in daily. IN hindsight i was very helpful.

     

    NOT much of a help-but a suggsestion that helped me (7 yrs ago)

    HUGS

     

    Denise

  • bonbondidit
    bonbondidit Member Posts: 116
    #7
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    Hi there!!

    I am a stage 3 also, and had my biopsies on June 30th 2014. I was diagnosed on July 3rd. It isn't easy and was terrifying to think of my mortality at such a young age. I thought, is this really happening? I have 4 kids and just started taking more of a role in my God son's life who was three at the time of diagnosis. I couldn't imagine him losing another mom and I was scared for his sake also.  I ended up doing the double mastectomy, the A/C/T treatment and then 34 rounds of radiation. I am happy that I was able to have the treatments I did as my insurance covered everything.............that is but my mind afterwards! Radiation made me a bit tired but they assured me that it was the treatment and not cancer returning. Since then my upper thighs have been very sore and I don't know why which is bothersom to me and causes me to doubt my health again. That can bring me down at times but it's quick to leave again in my head. I want to be better NOW. In a perfect world. It's draining. When my stamina slows it reminds me again that I have come from a long hard journey and need to allow myself the downtime to get my mind centered again. I will always be here to talk to you as we are both in the same boat, all of us are :)  I now have Sterling three days a week and one day on the weekend. He's a bouncing energized 4 year old boy. Oddly I am doing not so bad of a job keeping up with him. That's a miracle in itself.  I am married , going on 21 years. Twin daughters 20, 17 and 14 year old sons and Sterling my God son. WHEW! 

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