Book Suggestions?

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malloryc17
malloryc17 Member Posts: 4
in Esophageal Cancer #1
My fiancé is diagnosed with advanced esophageal cancer. This was sudden. It seemed to have metastasized to one of his lung, but we don’t know yet.

 

We were going to get married this fall.

 

I’m hanging by a thread. My best friend stops by more often and my other friend is stepping up. I know I will need all the support I can get. 

 

Could people recommend good books on how to cope emotionally? I don't really want an overly optimistic book that tells you that everything is going to be alright. What I'd like to find is that literally talks about taking it one day at a time and what emotions I should expect, written with compassion.

 

Medical books... I'll get there. I know someone who kept telling me all the hard facts and I couldn't deal with it. Right now I need to lessen the feeling that I'm drowning.

 

I don't know how to cope. He's my everything. But I need to try and stay strong for him.

 

Thank you.

Comments

  • siutis12
    siutis12 Member Posts: 11
    #2
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    The Holy Bible

    The Holy Bible

  • paul61
    paul61 Member Posts: 1,391 Member
    #3
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    Here is a book that may be helpful

     

    Hello Mallory,

    I am so sorry to hear of your fiancé’s recent diagnosis. Here are some suggestions that have helped me as a cancer survivor:

      

    1.   Ignore the frightening statistics on the internet. They are usually not current, and are not specific to an individual patient.
    2.  Don’t let your mind race ahead to the “worst case scenarios” of possible treatment outcomes and test results. Just deal with today. Tomorrow is often much different that we assume it will be.
    3.  As much as you don’t want to know all the specifics of esophageal cancer and its treatment and prognosis, understanding the diagnosis, staging, and treatment approaches can remove some of the fear of the unknown. Educate yourself about treatment approaches and what to expect.
    4. Know that irrespective of how “advanced” your fiancés cancer may be, there are many survivors out here who have completed treatment and are still living productive and happy lives. Even Stage 4 cancer patients.
    5. Don’t ask your oncologist to give you a “survival” prediction, and if he volunteers one, ignore it. Cancer patients respond to treatment in very individual ways.
    6. Be sure to take care of you. You can’t help your fiancé if you are physically or mentally unwell.
    7. Come here often for support and help. You will find many survivors of all stages of cancer who are here to help 

     Here is a book that you might find helpful:

    https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-compassionate-caregivers-guide-to-caring-for-someone-with-cancer-bonnie-bajorek-daneker/1017859810?ean=9781425989743&st=PLA&sid=BNB_DRS_New+Core+Shopping+Top+Margin+EANs_00000000&2sid=Google_&sourceId=PLGoP213156&gclid=CjwKCAjwqarbBRBtEiwArlfEIFal94x-1Z04HoBdJkL12J5mqRuZI835MR173iYb4NcMxzFa6fxGCxoCB9kQAvD_BwE

     

    Remember, with today’s treatment options, cancer is not longer a “death sentence”, even at Stage 4 it is often chronic illness that can be treated and managed.

    Wishing you and fiancé the best as you complete your path trough treatment,  

     Best Regards,

     Paul Adams

    McCormick, South Carolina
    DX 10/2009 T2N1M0  Stage IIB - Ivor Lewis Surgery  12/3/2009 - Post Surgery Chemotherapy 2/2009 – 6/2009
    Cisplatin, Epirubicin, 5 FU - Eight Year Survivor

     

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