Personal issues!

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lp1964
lp1964 Member Posts: 1,239 Member
edited April 2015 in Colorectal Cancer #1

 

Some of you who know me for awhile know that I had problems with my teenage daughter who under the influence of her mother accused me of being sick in order to avoid child support. The troubles really didn't stopped they were just managed. A few months ago I found out that her mom cancelled her health insurance she was supposed to maintain according to our divorce agreement and I pay half. There was no way I could make her buy health insurance even if she had to pay penalty. Finally I took it upon myself to get my daughter insurance but when I told her that it's gonna take awhile she accused me of lying. I got angry and sent her to her room but after that she stopped talking to me and looks like that's how it's gonna stay. I'm very disappointed and heartbroken that after all my effort of trying to do the right thing she sided with her mom and she has absolutely no consideration for me. An other big wound that will take a while to heal. 

Laz

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  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    #2
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    Difficult

    I am sorry that you are having to deal with this. 

    Perhaps you need to resort to proof in writing for these issues.  Have her call the insurnace carrier herself to see if she is covered by her mother.

    She is a teenager and that can also be influencing her actions.  It can be a tough time for all.

    It may be that she is not so much siding with her mother as she is just rebelling against the parent in charge...you.

    It might be worth looking into a group set up for children of divorce...it may help her to work thru the issues.

    Best of luck.

    Marie who loves kitties

     

  • UncleBuddy
    UncleBuddy Member Posts: 1,019 Member
    #3
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    Divorce can be tough.

    My sister has 3 kids and her divorce has been very hard on the kids. They are grown now, but they still pit one parent against the other. Just be patient and love her. That's all you can really do.

  • Cazz
    Cazz Member Posts: 106
    #4
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    Teens

    Laz, it could also be that she is a teenage girl who is angry that her Dad got sick and is secretly terrified that she will lose you, so she lashes out to test you.  Teens get very confused about their own feelings and seem to be unable to express themselves well.  Hang in there and in time she will see the lie of the land between you and her mother and understand better how one parent uses her against the other - unfortunately its hard on you in the meantime.  My condolences.

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #5
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    Children

    I'm sorry you are dealing with this because children from divorced families can be so influced by their custodial parent.  My husband's children were brain washed as well and he did try to just show them that he loved them and be supportive.  It's definitely hard though.  In the end after they grew up they realized that their mother was not telling the truth, unfortunately, resented her for it.  My husband ended up being the hero in the end.  I'm aware that divorce is tough but trying to tell your daughter sometimes that you are doing the best for her is going to fall on deaf ears.  Hope things work out for you.

    Kim

  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    #6
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    The advice I give you is the

    The advice I give you is the same I'm trying to follow...grow a thicker skin.  I have a 17 yr old daughter.  The are nasty, mean, insane Creatures.  On the inside they are scared, insecure little girls.  Those are the normal teen girls.  The ones without the fear of losing a parent.  I KNOw how difficult it is..my daughter drives me insane.  I don't understand where my little sweet girl went and why she was replaced with a bitchy, mean, sarcastic, manipulative, demanding....well you get the idea.  I'm told she will be normal again some day, and I actually see if for short moments here and there.

    I would guess that divorce in addition to the illness must make things even more difficult.   try to remember your sweet baby girl is still there.  Just love her, demand respect but give her some space, don't bad mouth mom.  Never stop letting her know you love her though.  She needs to know that no matter what, no matter how miserable she gets or how angry you get, she is still the most important person in your life.

  • sharpy102
    sharpy102 Member Posts: 368 Member
    #7
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    jen2012 said:

    The advice I give you is the

    The advice I give you is the same I'm trying to follow...grow a thicker skin.  I have a 17 yr old daughter.  The are nasty, mean, insane Creatures.  On the inside they are scared, insecure little girls.  Those are the normal teen girls.  The ones without the fear of losing a parent.  I KNOw how difficult it is..my daughter drives me insane.  I don't understand where my little sweet girl went and why she was replaced with a bitchy, mean, sarcastic, manipulative, demanding....well you get the idea.  I'm told she will be normal again some day, and I actually see if for short moments here and there.

    I would guess that divorce in addition to the illness must make things even more difficult.   try to remember your sweet baby girl is still there.  Just love her, demand respect but give her some space, don't bad mouth mom.  Never stop letting her know you love her though.  She needs to know that no matter what, no matter how miserable she gets or how angry you get, she is still the most important person in your life.

    Not sure what is the best

    Not sure what is the best response....I don't know really if I am lucky, or unlucky that my parents died by the time I was 12, but....sounds like your daughter is a pretty typical teenager, and I am sure she has a hard time with you guys divorcing. She picks her mom side perhaps because the parent who does not "boss" her around is not around. You are the one raising her it sounds, so of course, you are the one to "blame" for everything. I think, you need lots of patience. And try to just tell her that you love her when she is in a better mood. Of course, I am not the strongest at parenting advice since I'm myself just turned 17 not too long ago, but I think sometimes, it must be hard for children (of all ages) to see the two people they loved the most decided to split their ways. I wish you the best, and recovery and patience and strength. I am optimistic that your daughter will find the best in you soon!

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