Aug 27, 2014 - 11:43 am
My father has been dealing with CRC for about four years now, His treatment started in January 11, after diagnosis right before Solstice/X-Mas '10 (Months after I graduated college, go figure)
He had a part of his colon removed, and six months Chemo. Sorry I do not know specifics of his case. It was already in his lymph nodes.
In late 2012 he had a recurrence. In the liver. The chemo was very succesful and made a non-resectable case resectable. Again, I was hopeful.
This time I think it is a whole lot worse. I don't know what the CT scan specifically showed, but it appears to be in multiple places, liver, possibly colon, possibly lungs. PET scan after labor day, along with a colonoscopy. The way everyone is acting this week it is like we are coming up on an execution date (Doing things we never do all together for ex. going to the beach on a weekday)
I am scared that this is it, and I don't know what to do.
I want him to get a second opinion, I've wanted this for years. My parent's won't do it. They trust the Onc. I think part of this is financial we are as a family, quite frankly broke and heavily in debt at this point. My father can't work, my mother was laid off, and I can only find part time work myself am buried in student loans.
Dana-Farber is 40 minutes away, but I fear anything they would do might A. Be too late, B. Be too expensive for us to *literally* afford.
I am really afraid my time with him is running out, I don't know if I can be strong enough to deal with supporting my mother and him. My sister is in school, and my other sister is off in her own life. At least she has a baby and a husband for support. I have nothing besides my parents really. As was said in Star Wars "Most of his friends are gone" and thousands of miles away.
I also feel guilty for pursuing my own goals and ambitions at this point. I am in the midst of a nation wide job search, and he doesn't want me to put it on hold (I am 26 with a masters degree, rapidly approaching the age when I am weird for not being on my own yet) But how can I not put it on hold? Today at work I forgot about 3 things I was supposed to do, I just can't focus. I was already fighting depression, this is not helping.