Aug 15, 2014 - 9:02 am
I went to see the oncologist yesterday to discuss the recent scan findings. As previously posted last Friday's MRI detected three new tumors near the incision line from a liver resection done on 2/7/14 (six months ago). The doctors are very concerned about the quickness of this recurrence and this is now factoring into the treatment planning.
The onc reported that if this was a year or two since the previous resection they would recommend another resection followed by chemotherapy. Given that these tumors have popped up so quickly they are debating agressive chemotherapy first followed by a resection. Part of the reason they are recommending this is that if the chemo fails (e.g. new cancer appears while undergoing the chemo) they probably will not resect.
We made clear our desire to do the resection first followed by the agressive chemotherapy. And therefore they will now do a PET scan. If the PET scan shows any other involvement (e.g. lymph node involvement or tumors in other locations) they will likely not agree to do the resection first.
The aggressive chemotherapy he is recommending is FOLFOXIRI/avastin. I already received the FOLFOX (eleven treatments) followed by FOLFiRI + Erbitux (twelve treatments). The more agressive chemo he is proposing is basically both FOLFOX and FOLFIRI + avastin.
As patients - How are we supposed to KNOW we are getting the best regimen? How are we to know if there is better treatments available? If feels like I could do a better job of researching treatment options but I think that would take years to do... That is why we have doctors...
My wife wants me to get a second oppinion to be sure we have the best plan. If I do that, how do we know which is the best cancer center to consult with?
I am so discouraged. I know that it comes down to picking a doctor, feeling comfortable with the doctor (based on intuition) and then trusting them. But this seems too trivial of an approach for a life/death decision.
Deep breath (a lot of those lately).
I suppose I'm ranting and maybe on the verge of panic?
What are you feelings? What is your thinking?
Should I buy a plane ticket to Houston (MD Anderson)? Or get in the car and drive to Cleveland (Cleveland Clinic)?
I HATE CANCER!!!
Part of me wants to fire all the doctors and just ride it out for as long as I can. No treatments, no scans, no f____g doctors... Instead, retire early, take a trip to somewhere exotic and beautiful...
But then comes the morning. I have a fourteen year old child. I have a daughter planning a wedding next July. I have two other daughters hoping to plan weddings after that.
And I still have to mow the grass too... Three acres of grass... lol
That's another story. I have a large house fit for five children and two parents. We are now down to my wife, me, and a fourteen year old son. And there is a lot to care for in this larger house. My wife is terrified that if I'm not around she will not be able to manage this house. So now she wants to downsize. Wouldn't that be fun? To move during the "agressive" chemo???
I wrote a poem... But I'm afraid to share it with anyone... I have'nt updated my blog in a while and simply don't want to blog anymore... But I know many of you have been through everything I'm going through and more and so shareing with you all seems like a little easier task...
Sometimes (by me)
Sometimes I’m confused
Sometimes the storm rages
Sometimes the blackness envelopes
Sometimes you must have faith!