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At that point: clinical trial or hospice

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2319
Joined: Jan 2009

Dear Friends,
I just haven't been able to write this because I guess it means it's really true.  Dick is having a very, very difficult time.  We are waiting to see if any immune therapy trials come this way in the next few days (honestly not likely) or we will be calling hospice.  Dick has been at this fight (and he does consider it a fight) for 5.5 years, over 100 chemo treatments, 5 surgeries, too many to count scans and all that goes with all of that.  Despite all of that he has lived so fully up until that last months.  He never really recovered from March and has been getting weaker and weaker since then.  We have not been on our boat all summer and he has only been down to the beach a handful of times.  We are really working on pain control and have it under control most of the time but not all of the time. 
In a way, because of all on here who have gone before us, I think I know what is coming but then again I have no idea.  Family has been visiting and I think we will bring our daughter home for a bit before she heads back to college.  This is a difficult time.  Not sure how to navigate it all but I do know that I want Dick to be at peace.  He is such an incredibly brave man and I respect him and love him beyond anything.  I will be by his side as we go forward.

Aloha,
Kathleen

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 2995
Joined: Jan 2010

My heart aches for you both.

No one has tried harder than Dick and no one has been a better caregiver than you.

I know how difficult your current situation is...wanting that miracle...not fully believing that it will come...wanting to have him pain free...not wanting him to suffer.  The mix of emotions is more than a person should have to endure, but endure it we do because of our love.

Prayers and hugs to you all.  If there is anything which can be done for you from a distance please just ask.

Marie who loves kitties

coloCan
Posts: 1873
Joined: Oct 2009

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24943235

(don't really know what it all means but its rather recent and sounds promising)

 

Luv2lunch
Posts: 257
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi Kathleen,

I just wanted to say how sorry I was to read this. I've been following Dick's story for a while now. I don't post much here but do read always. He seems to be such a strong person so this news was very sad to read. I will continue to pray for you two, your girls and the rest of your family. I believe in miracles and will pray that one comes your way.

Please take care of yourself. We will be thinking of you and Dick.

Sincererly,

Linda and Miss Ellie

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3041
Joined: May 2009

Kathleen,  I'm so sorry to hear this.   There are trials out there.  Have you called Standord to see what trials they have?  

Have you tried Cannabis oil? Do you have medical mj?  

I don't know know where and how many tumors he has; cyber knife, chemoemobilization are they options?  

I'm just speechless. You are correct, as we see us following other's journeys that have passed you start to think you are going in that same path,  but have to stay strong and keep fighting. Fight any way possible, juice, supplements, prayer, anything. 

Hang in there and try to take care of yourself, we care about you too.  

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5016
Joined: Feb 2008

Kathleen,

Your picture is one that brightens my day! You have such a sunny smile, and I can tell you have the personality that matches it. And for most of the time that I have known you online, your pictures have so often included your dear husband Dick. He has looked so athletic and strong, and it's very difficult to imagine him in pain and not thriving. I know it must be tough for all of y'all. I will be praying that a wonderful answer will present itself.

You have always been such a wonderful, supportive caregiver, so I'm glad you will call in "the troops" if it's no longer possible for you to manage Dick's pain. Hoping they will be a comfort to you, as well.

You're in my prayers!

 

*hugs* Love,

Gail

 

 

Momof2plusteentwins's picture
Momof2plusteentwins
Posts: 474
Joined: May 2012

It's so hard to read this.  I just feel like we lose someone on here everyday, like we're all lining up and next to go.  I have always followed you and Dick.  It just seems so unfair to be so young and get this awful disease.  I know we don't want to believe the inevitable, it just seems too much to take.  I hope he can remain pain free and have a little more quality time with the family.  I will be thinking of you and your girls.

Sandy

thingy45's picture
thingy45
Posts: 588
Joined: Apr 2011

Dear Kathleen, So very hard to read about you and Dick. It seems that every day there is more and more pain and heartache here. I so very much hate this terrible decease.

It breaks up families, causes financial problems but most of all sadness.  In the few years I have been on this board we have lost so many good people. The only thing we have incommon is this decease.

My heart goes out to you and your family, but most of all to Dick. He has been fighting so hard with you by his site every step of the way. If love alone could cure him he would be better.My love and prayers go out to you, remember you are not alone, we are only a mouse click away. Good to hear he is mainly painfree.

Love to you and family, Marjan

 

 

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 1709
Joined: Jan 2013

Dear Kathleen, Dear Dick, I can't express the sorrow in my heart. 

I will pray for that miracle, it could be right around the corner. 

I hurt as I try to find the words. I can't find the words. 

God bless, may the miracle trial appear for you both. 

SUE/TRU

 

fatbob2010's picture
fatbob2010
Posts: 461
Joined: May 2012

Kathleen,

Shocking news at the least.  He has looked so virile in your profile picture and the incident on vacation seemed to have resolved.  

Can not begin to share my personal sorrow at your situation and all that can entail.  

You are an excellent caregiver and partner.

<<HUGS>> of Peace, Comfort, and Sympathy,

Art

Yolllmbs's picture
Yolllmbs
Posts: 261
Joined: May 2014

I haven't been around the boards very long, but I have gone back and read quite a few of the posts.  Your support of others and the contribution to the board is invaluable.  My prayers are with you and your family.

 

Yolanda

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2319
Joined: Jan 2009

You are wonderful friends. I know you will be with us as we go forward.
For the short term, think of us as a hurricane, which should weaken to a tropical storm, comes our way at the end of the week. We don't need any more challenges.
My sister and bil will be here tomorrow through Saturday. They introduced Dick and I to each other 29 years ago. It will be good to have them here.
It is good to have you here too.

Aloha,
Kathleen

Semira's picture
Semira
Posts: 303
Joined: Mar 2012

... what a damn disease this is :-(

Sending a hug from Germany

Petra

ron50's picture
ron50
Posts: 1322
Joined: Nov 2001

             You know well that we are behind you one hudred percent and that each and evryone of us here would do annything possible to help. I just wish that the sum of the love we have for you both somehow helps to lighten your load. My deepest respect to both of you,,,Ron.

janderson1964's picture
janderson1964
Posts: 1830
Joined: Oct 2011

I am so sorry that things are getting tougher.

annalexandria's picture
annalexandria
Posts: 2322
Joined: Oct 2011

Whatever the future holds, I really hope there is more time to be spent on the water, enjoying your beautiful surroundings.  And I hope that beauty brings a sense of peace to you both.

LindaK.
Posts: 361
Joined: Apr 2013

Kathleen, I was so sad to read your update.  I fear I may be facing the same with my husband sooner rather than later.  He has also been struggling these past few months.  I have been strong throughout but this past week or so, reality has set in.  It stinks for all of us!  It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders but I feel your stress and pain.  I wish you and Dick peace, that is what I hope for myself also.

Linda

Fight for my love
Posts: 1346
Joined: Jun 2009

As a caregiver, my heart couldn't hurt anymore than seeing this kind of news. You are the best caretaker. I pray miracles for you and your family.

jen2012
Posts: 1255
Joined: Aug 2012

So sorry to read this Kathleen.  I'm hoping you find a trial that give Dick more time and better quality of life. 

UncleBuddy
Posts: 714
Joined: Aug 2013

I hate this disease. It is taking too many of our friends. I pray for better health and absence of pain for Dick. I do believe in miracles, so I'll keep praying. maybe you'll find a trial that he can get into. Hugs!

Lin

Dyanclark's picture
Dyanclark
Posts: 272
Joined: Apr 2012

I feel your pain.  Where will this all end.  My husband is on 6th year with no hope of remission.  It seems they will never really find the cure for cancer.

Hugs from George & Diane

 

Helen321's picture
Helen321
Posts: 927
Joined: May 2012

All of my love, Helen

Cathleen Mary
Posts: 645
Joined: May 2011

Kathleen,

My heart aches for you, Dick, and the girls. I will continue to pray for a clinical trial that helps and pain free time for Dick. Know that a lot of people have you in their heart, thought, and prayer. You epitomize how close we can feel to people we have never met in person.

Be safe in the hurricane.

Hugs,

CM

 

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 7948
Joined: Aug 2005

There is such a weariness that comes with cancer...I am sad that you both have endured so much!

 

Please give a big hug to Dick, and save one for yourself, dear friend!

 

Hugs, Kathi

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