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What a crappy week. . .

Double Whammy's picture
Double Whammy
Posts: 2422
Joined: Jun 2010

First, the news of Jeanne on Here, then Olga's new lesions, and today, news of Carrie passing.  I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach.

THEN - my oldest friend (we've been friends since we were 4) called me late this morning after we'd just been together at the gym earlier .   Hmmmmmm.  I could tell from her voice that something was up.  She is a 5-year kidney cancer survivor.  Actually 5 1/4 years.   She went to her pcp this morning because of nagging cough.  They xrayed.  You know the drill.  She had a CT scan this afternoon and a visit to her oncologist after.   I went with her (she's single).   There is "something" there and while it does not look like obvious cancer (new or mets), it's there and it's rather large (egg) and she will next have a PET scan and visit to the thoracic surgeon for biopsy because they don't know what it is, but it is.  And it wasn't there 2 years ago. 

I had my mammogram at 12:45 and I have absolutely no concerns about it, but I will feel much better when I get the results and can breathe easier, especially after all of the news we've had. 

Wishing all of us good health and a happy life.

Suzanne

camul's picture
camul
Posts: 2213
Joined: Dec 2010

You are right sometimes there us nothing you can do but hope, and I am hoping for your friend that whatever it is, it is not cancer. For you I am hoping that you get the good letter with the results that say, see you next year.
Hugs,
Carol

New Flower
Posts: 4231
Joined: Aug 2009

Suzanne

sending positive thoughts to your and friend way

Next week will bring hope

hugs

disneyfan2008
Posts: 5701
Joined: Oct 2010

Thinking of you...

 

Denise

Christmas Girl's picture
Christmas Girl
Posts: 3687
Joined: Apr 2009

Sending hopeful best wishes your way, Suzanne. For good mammo results, and for your friend.

Kind regards, Susan

SIROD's picture
SIROD
Posts: 2204
Joined: Jun 2010

Dear Suzanne,

I am sorry about your oldest friend.  The Thoracic surgeon will be helpful and hopeful the egg size mass they are seeing is benign.

I wish you the best with your mammo.  Keep us posted on your friend.  

Best,

Sirod

 

TraciInLA's picture
TraciInLA
Posts: 1904
Joined: Jul 2009

Suzanne,

This is so much to try to process all at one time -- difficult, and overwhelming, and frightening.

Your friend is very lucky to have you by her side, but please remember that we can't take care of others unless we take care of ourselves.  Be gentle with yourself right now, and be sure to take good care of you.

Traci

 

 

 

Jean 0609's picture
Jean 0609
Posts: 2395
Joined: Jun 2010

It has been a horrible week.  Sending hugs to you all.

xoxo,

Jean

debi.18's picture
debi.18
Posts: 850
Joined: Jun 2011

This week has just been awful.  Losing Jeanne was bad enough, but then Carrie also.  I'm so heartbroken.  Suzanne, your friend will be in my prayers.  I'm thinking positive and know your mammo will be just fine.

 

Hugs, Debi

GlowMore's picture
GlowMore
Posts: 566
Joined: Feb 2008

Well no week is good when friends die.........but I think that every week that we are still survivors is a pretty good one ladies.....

GlowMore's picture
GlowMore
Posts: 566
Joined: Feb 2008

Well no week is good when friends die.........but I think that every week that we are still survivors is a pretty good one ladies.....

CypressCynthia's picture
CypressCynthia
Posts: 4017
Joined: Oct 2009

I am so very sorry to hear about your friend.  You have a lot to deal with right now and I am just so sorry!  Hugs and prayers for a good mammo result.  Please keep us posted!!!

Pixie Dust's picture
Pixie Dust
Posts: 343
Joined: Jan 2014

Suzanne, sorry about your friends passing. I have not been a member on here very long but I do remember Jeanne comments. She seemed as if she really cared about everyone of her BC friends. It even hurt me when I heard of her passing and did not even know her. All we have to do is take 1 day at a time, but my problem is I cannot due that and have cancer on my mind constantly. I am going to let this cancer kill me mentally before it may kill me pysically,(spelled wrong). Every passing hurts. MY mother passed away in 1996 with BC and that is my problem. I cannot let it go. I hope all your emotional feelings gets better soon and hope all of your tests turn out great.  Donna

GlowMore's picture
GlowMore
Posts: 566
Joined: Feb 2008

Oh Donna....please do let it go ... one thing I do believe is we have to watch our words.   I remember making up my mind NOT to live in Fear....because you just CANNOT do that.  Just so hate to hear any of us say that we are goinng to let it kill us.  Facing Death isn't the hardest thing....Living with Fear makes it much harder.   If we can but find Peace ...and let go of our fear....things get better in so many ways.  I pray that you will be able to do that.    I look at Death now as just stepping across into another dimension....into a New Life perhaps.  I refuse to give Death the power to keep me in Fear.    Many prayers to all.   Glo

disneyfan2008
Posts: 5701
Joined: Oct 2010

CHecking back to see if things are going any better/ smother?

Double Whammy's picture
Double Whammy
Posts: 2422
Joined: Jun 2010

Wednesday my friend had a PET scan.  We don't know the results.  Friday I took her to see the thoracic surgeon who seemed pretty sure the mass is cancer, just doesn't know whether it's mets from kidney cancer or a new primary lung cancer.  There is still a possibility that it's an infection, but he said that is remote and something must have all those cancer docs thinking it's cancer and that worries me.  He was rather evasive about what the PET results were except that this is the only area they're concerned about, but I'm thinking it must have showed something active because he said he won't know what kind of cancer it is until he biopsies it.  It's also pretty big and in a difficult part of the lung to access but he said he had the best skills and equipment (why do surgeons have such big egos?) and she is in excellent hands, came to the right place, best in the area, blah, blah, blah.  Crap.  They're doing a biopsy tomorrow morning.  We have to be at the hospital by 7:00 a.m. so that means leaving here at 6:00 a.m. zzzzzzzzz.  She doesn't want her friends and family to know until there is something to tell them and right now there isn't.  The surgeon will give me the preliminary pathology report since she'll be under anesthesia.  I hope he tells her himself when she wakes up! 

We've been through a lot together.  Been friends since Sunday School when we were about 4 - 63 years!  I'll probably be back home by noon tomorrow.

My mammogram was perfect.

Suzanne

 

 

Clementine_P's picture
Clementine_P
Posts: 426
Joined: Feb 2011

Suzanne,

I am sending good thoughts your way.  I'll hope that your friend wins the lottery and only has an infection.  Failing that, I am sending strength your way to help you continue to be the great and supportive friend that you are.

Clementine

Double Whammy's picture
Double Whammy
Posts: 2422
Joined: Jun 2010

Biopsy went well.  She's home sleeping anesthesia off.  Surgeon said we won't have pathology results for a few days and hopes he got enough tissue.  He told us Friday they would have preliminary results at surgery, but now he says she has to wait for final pathology.  We all know how that goes.  So we wait - maybe Thursday.

Suzanne

GlowMore's picture
GlowMore
Posts: 566
Joined: Feb 2008

We all hate the wait....but I have found that the bad news comes fast........... hope all will turn out ok....... 

 

bonbondidit's picture
bonbondidit
Posts: 53
Joined: Jul 2014

I am officially tired of waiting for my surgery date but I know it's all the right s step taken to this point. 24 days ago I was dx with IDC and DCIS on left side. I did the MRI with dye and it shows the tumor larger then they thought. They say that I look great, temp is great, no swelling anywhere and am not tired or getting light headed , all good signs. But the wait for surgery is messing with my head and I need to get it under control. Also it shoed in the MRI suspicion for lymph node involvement.  I feel like the wait time is putting me further in danger but I know because of what I read that the wait is normal for all the tests to come in to form a perfect plan for my surgery and treatments afterwards. Still I am human and that horrid fear tries to get me. Breathing slowly and calmly to keep from getting vertigo.

Sorry for the rant, but thankful I can vent here,

 

Bonnie

Pixie Dust's picture
Pixie Dust
Posts: 343
Joined: Jan 2014

Bonnie, the first thing I would like to say to you, rant and vent all you want on here. I know I did onced and after I did I felt alot better. Sometimes it best just to let it all out of your system and you feel alot better. The beast can really get to us at times but what we have to do is get back on our two feet again and fight like heck and not let it tackle us but we tackle it. Hope your surgery is scheduled soon and all goes well with you. Please keep us all posted with what is going on. Hugs Pixie

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