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The beginning

I have finally found the love of my life. Unfortunately, he is a stubborn and private individual. He was diagnosed with cancer last year & his doctor told him that he had better get to work on his bucket list. He refuses all treatment or any test that can shed light on the cancer's progression. It was first diagnosed in his lymph glands under his right arm. In less than a year, the PCP thinks it has spread to his lungs. We can't be sure without a test, which he, of course, refuses. He is coughing up blood on a daily basis, even if it's just a litlle bit. He continues to smoke 2 packs of cigarettes a day. I can see the pain he tries to hide from me. He'll hold his breath or stay very still until it passes & tell me, "I'm fine" but I know he's not. If anybody has any suggestion on what to do.... PLEASE? I love him so very much & respect his right to refuse treatment but I'm selfish & I don't want to let go of him.

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Thank you for telling your story.  I'm sorry for your pain, as well as his.  I wish I had a suggestion, but all I can do is listen.  

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