Jun 18, 2014 - 12:47 pm
Can't seem to get past this issue. I was diagnosed july 2013. Surgery in august followed by chemo starting in september. I remember getting each bit of news and saying ok ok ok. There was always a feeling of disconnect. It still hasnt sunk in that I have cancer and all this is happening to ME. My first brother died in sept of last year while I was just starting chemo. He was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and had been battling it for 5 years. We didnt have the best relationship, but I did get to tell him I loved him right before he died. I lost my second brother to squamous cell carcinoma in january of this year. By the time they found it, it had spread all over. He ended up in hospice at the local VA. My sisters and I were with him for his final days and minutes. He actually waited for his daughters to leave to get something to eat then he died peacefully. I was caught early. I got through surgery and chemo pretty well. I have no doubt this was the end of my cancer. Why did my brothers and others have to go through what they did and I was spared? I didnt even loose all my hair for petes sake! I'm not looking for pity. Just wanted to "say" some things out loud. Cancer SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS. HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT. Thanks for letting me rant. You think you're handling things well, then bam. Cancer sucks.