mood changer

foxhd
foxhd Member Posts: 3,181 Member
in Kidney Cancer #1

Not enough good news here. It's an old one I probably posted in the past, but it's time to share again.

A scruffy old biker is sitting in Mcdonalds having lunch. He sees an old couple slowly walk in. The little old lady takes a seat next to him and the husband goes up to order some food. He returns and sits across from his wife. He opens the bag, takes out a napkin and carefully tears it down the middle. He places half in front of her, and half in front of himself. Then he takes out the hamburg, cuts down the middle, places half on her napkin and half on his. He puts the fries into 2 equal piles and again gives her half and he takes half. He does the same with the soda. Slowly pouring some into a second cup and making them even, giving his wife hers, and he takes his.

The biker figures that they must be on some limited income and says to them, "I couldn't help notice how you split your meal in two. I would be very happy to buy each of you your own meal." The old lady, tells him, "We've been married a very long time and we share everything. So, thank you for your offer, but no thanks." So he says "OK, I understand." and he goes back to eating his lunch.

He again looks over and notices  the husband eating his half of the burger. Then he has some soda and eats his fries one by one. Meanwhile the little old lady is just sitting there. Food untouched. His curiosity gets the best of him and he leans over and says to the lady, "I understand that you share everything, but why aren't you eating your meal? Your husband has been eating away." She says, "Oh, I'm just waiting for my turn to use the teeth!"

Comments

  • aamdsi
    aamdsi Member Posts: 284
    #2
    8-/

    Oh dear. 

    Thaank you for the morning snicker though

  • icemantoo
    icemantoo Member Posts: 3,361 Member
    #3
    aamdsi said:

    8-/

    Oh dear. 

    Thaank you for the morning snicker though

    Very foxy

    I did remember this one. An old classic.

     

    Icemantoo

  • APny
    APny Member Posts: 1,995 Member
    #4
    icemantoo said:

    Very foxy

    I did remember this one. An old classic.

     

    Icemantoo

    I remember this one too :) My

    I remember this one too :) My favorite joke from the collection here was the Chinese lady and the "fluctuations." That was a classic, lol.

  • danbren2
    danbren2 Member Posts: 311
    #5
    APny said:

    I remember this one too :) My

    I remember this one too :) My favorite joke from the collection here was the Chinese lady and the "fluctuations." That was a classic, lol.

    Thanks for the Laugh!

    Fox,

         That was very funny, I had not heard that one.  Thanks for the laugh, it was much needed this AM!

                           It's good to laugh!

                           Brenda

                           

  • pamstayner
    pamstayner Member Posts: 111 Member
    #6
    Love this

    Fox, now I know why you are so endearing to everyone on CSN...  Just the mood changer I needed right now....

    I am sitting with a blank stare on my face thinking of really nothing...

    decided to go on line and check up on everyone, and here is your joke of the day....

    good laugh, now I feel pretty good and energized... Thanks a bunch..

     

    Pam.....battle on

  • Phredswife
    Phredswife Member Posts: 162
    #7
    Thankyou Fox. You just made

    SmileThankyou Fox. You just made Phred and I laugh our heads off. Yuck. We are really close but not that close!!!

  • donna_lee
    donna_lee Member Posts: 1,042 Member
    #8
    Phredswife said:

    Thankyou Fox. You just made

    SmileThankyou Fox. You just made Phred and I laugh our heads off. Yuck. We are really close but not that close!!!

    I come here for a breath of sanity...

    As we deal with my Mother-in-law, who now has Hospice coming in; age 98, pancreatic cancer that is really starting to take effect, and all the family dynamics/disfunction/anger directed at me, the daughter in law who has no standing in the family but who lives here and does all the gruntwork.

    You guys know the routine.  Sh** runs down hill and I'm at the bottom of the slope.  I'm trying to be with her several hours a day (she's in assisted living), do her laundry, all her bookkeeping/bill-paying/phone calling, run her errands, shop for her, handle an address change when she had to change apartments...But, I'm being bossy because I wasn't named the first person on any POA and the daughter 5 hours away was at the head of the list.

    At least I know I'm doing everything I can to keep her safe, comfortable, happy, and encouraging her to live her remaining weeks and few months to her best capability.

    If I can say one thing to any of you, have your affairs in order and share them with your family.  Don't ever make an impending death a reason for a family feud.

    Meanwhile, keep those cards, letters, and good jokes coming.

    Jeeze...my daughter will be 48 tomorrow and her oldest graduates from HS next weekend.

    Donna

  • todd121
    todd121 Member Posts: 1,448 Member
    #9
    Thanks!

    I had not heard that one. Thanks for sharing! I appreciate a good laugh.

    Todd

  • GSRon
    GSRon Member Posts: 1,303 Member
    #10
    donna_lee said:

    I come here for a breath of sanity...

    As we deal with my Mother-in-law, who now has Hospice coming in; age 98, pancreatic cancer that is really starting to take effect, and all the family dynamics/disfunction/anger directed at me, the daughter in law who has no standing in the family but who lives here and does all the gruntwork.

    You guys know the routine.  Sh** runs down hill and I'm at the bottom of the slope.  I'm trying to be with her several hours a day (she's in assisted living), do her laundry, all her bookkeeping/bill-paying/phone calling, run her errands, shop for her, handle an address change when she had to change apartments...But, I'm being bossy because I wasn't named the first person on any POA and the daughter 5 hours away was at the head of the list.

    At least I know I'm doing everything I can to keep her safe, comfortable, happy, and encouraging her to live her remaining weeks and few months to her best capability.

    If I can say one thing to any of you, have your affairs in order and share them with your family.  Don't ever make an impending death a reason for a family feud.

    Meanwhile, keep those cards, letters, and good jokes coming.

    Jeeze...my daughter will be 48 tomorrow and her oldest graduates from HS next weekend.

    Donna

    Donna.. ya gotta know.. we

    Donna.. ya gotta know.. we all look up to you..!!  Laughing

    Ron

  • NewDay
    NewDay Member Posts: 272
    #11
    todd121 said:

    Thanks!

    I had not heard that one. Thanks for sharing! I appreciate a good laugh.

    Todd

    I needed that!

    Thanks Fox,

    It's been a stressful week and that brought a smile to my face.  

     Donna,

    I know what you mean.  When my cancer was first discovered I went through the "get your affairs in order" duties.  I went to  the attorney just to draw up a will, not because I had much to leave anybody, but to keep them from having to deal with the probate hassel.  I was just keeping everything simple and basic when the attorney said "Sometimes these things can cause fights in the family.  Are you sure you don't want to be more specifc about who gets what and who has control of what?"  I just said "No, my family pretty much gets along.  I don't think it's necessary."  At that time I only saw my family about once every couple of months.  When I got home I had a flashback to the last time my mother was in the hospital and I was playing peacemaker between my younger and older siblings.  That was a mess.  How did I forget that?  I called my attorney the next day.  Those situations can bring out the worst in otherwise reasonable people.  Sounds like you have a lot to handle.  Hang in there.

    Kathy

  • Jan4you
    Jan4you Member Posts: 1,330 Member
    #12
    donna_lee said:

    I come here for a breath of sanity...

    As we deal with my Mother-in-law, who now has Hospice coming in; age 98, pancreatic cancer that is really starting to take effect, and all the family dynamics/disfunction/anger directed at me, the daughter in law who has no standing in the family but who lives here and does all the gruntwork.

    You guys know the routine.  Sh** runs down hill and I'm at the bottom of the slope.  I'm trying to be with her several hours a day (she's in assisted living), do her laundry, all her bookkeeping/bill-paying/phone calling, run her errands, shop for her, handle an address change when she had to change apartments...But, I'm being bossy because I wasn't named the first person on any POA and the daughter 5 hours away was at the head of the list.

    At least I know I'm doing everything I can to keep her safe, comfortable, happy, and encouraging her to live her remaining weeks and few months to her best capability.

    If I can say one thing to any of you, have your affairs in order and share them with your family.  Don't ever make an impending death a reason for a family feud.

    Meanwhile, keep those cards, letters, and good jokes coming.

    Jeeze...my daughter will be 48 tomorrow and her oldest graduates from HS next weekend.

    Donna

    HUGS to you Donna~ for ALL

    HUGS to you Donna~ for ALL you give, all you do and for just being YOU!!

    Sending healing prayers to you and your mother in law.

    May she know peace, kindness and be pain free.

     

    Warmly, Jan

  • Skagway Jack
    Skagway Jack Member Posts: 224 Member
    #13
    Thats a good un.

    Fox,  I hadnt heard that one so I got a good laugh and shared it with my wife.  Thanks for the humor...tomorrow I go for my Dr. visit to get scan results.  Levity is appreciated.  

     

    Thanks again.

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