May 17, 2014 - 4:40 pm
Two days ago, we found out my husband has colon cancer. Now he's facing a battery of tests - MRI, CT SCAN, SURGERY, POSSIBLY RADIATION AND CHEMO. I love him with all my heart but my first instinct was that I wanted to run away - just simply run away from it all.
For the past 10 years, my husband has been sick. He's had open heart surgery, a huge, huge battle with arrhythmias including life-threatening ones, seizures, then the addition of stents where his body rejected the first set and they had to re-do them. His heart has been a constant battle. Then along came prostate cancer 5 years ago.
Four years ago he had a colonoscopy and had benign polyps removed. He was told to get another one in 3 years, but we had to wait 4 because of the stents - he was not allowed to come off his bloodthinners for one year. So when the doctor asked to see me after his colonoscopy, I figured it was that he had more polyps and they'd have to test them. Instead I was greeted with pictures of his colon and how he needs a battery of tests and surgery and that it was cancer.
I felt completely exhausted and worn-out by it all. It's been 10 years of waiting in waiting rooms several times a year to hear what the diagnosis is for his many many ailments. Ten long years of dealing with his mood swings and ten years of stress.
Of course I will stay by his side and do everything in my power to help him but man oh man, I just want to run away.
Anyone else feel this way at times?