Apr 30, 2014 - 9:47 pm
My 2 year "cancerversary" is in a few days. I was first diagnosed on May 3rd, 2012.
Physically I am exactly in the same condition as I was 2 years ago. Recurrent cancer is uncontrolled, CA125 is 800+, moderate pain, yesterday I had 4.4 liters ascites drained and as of tomorrow I will be getting daily IV fluids at home in addition to the trial drug.
Some negative things I aquired in those 2 years: scars, peripheral neuropathy, memory loss, weight gain and menopausal symptoms. Some things I lost: uterus, ovaries, omentum, hair (it grew back), my job (good riddance!), and sense of control.
Compared to 2012 today I have a new appreciation of life, friends and family, plenty of free time and more medical knowledge. I no longer have job-related stress and BS drama, I don't worry about getting old, I can get away with morbid jokes and most importantly I've met many wonderful people along the way whom I am proud to call my friends.
I see my progressive L.M.C. (or Low Marble Count) as a defense mechanism: I can't focus on being sad, scared or anxious long enough for it to affect my mood.
All things considered, life is good.