Apr 04, 2014 - 7:17 pm
Hello, I'm new here but would like some advice please.
I finshed my treatmet two and a half years ago.... but i still feel awful? I had a lumpectomy, 4 nodes removed (all clear) 3 months of chemo, Doxetaxal and the C of FEC.....and 20 sessions of radiotherapy, i also suffered for a year afterwards with problems with myheart, which are now seeming to get better.
The troulbe i have is that i am still not back to 'normal'....i am so extremely tired all the time, i now have sleep apneao and have a machine i am meant to use to help me, but i just can't get used to it so have not used it properly yet, but i am so weak, i can only do half the things i used to....im so exhausted, severly exhausted all the time, i do have an underactive thyroid but im on meds to make that normal. I ache from weakness, i get spasms all over my body???? For example, when i go to the toilet for a number 2 ( sorry) everytime i try to wipe my bottom my stomach muscles go into a severe spasm, it makes me cry out, so i have to sit there and keep trying....if i turn around my back muscles or belly muscles go into this awful painful spasm, i get it in my calves and it is soooo painful i scream out loud, i get it in my toes, the spread apart painfully, i get it in my hands sometimes and i now get it in the front of my thighs, it feels awful but is so painful....i also still get a bit of the neuropathy in my hands and feet. But the weakness and tiredess is my main problem....my family keep saying to me,,,,,, come on get a grip, your ok now...you should be back to normal and doing all the things you used to, they sometimes say im just being lazy, and my daughter has said that she feels i sometimes use iit as an excuse not to do things and be lazy, she is very outspoken im afraid.....but this just makes me feel so unhappy, because i feel so unwell in myself..... i have actually said to my husband that i feel it best if i leave the family home, then they wont all keep going on at me to do things and stop being lazy, because i know i cant do all the things they want me to do, i just don't feel strong enough, or well enough, sometimes my wrist go so weak i can't open a jar.
I just don't know what to do anymore as this gets me down...I do suffer with some depression and i take anti depressants for this, but its more anxiety than depression...i have an adult special needs child and this can really be hard work sometimes. But, does anyone else still feel so badly exhausted so long down the line, somedays it takes all my strength to get out of bed and just do the basic housework..... i don't want to feel like this, it upset me massively, but i don't know what else to do.
Sorry to go on.