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23 y.o, post treatment social life

luzo06061
Posts: 5
Joined: Apr 2012

I was diagnosed with leukemia a little over 2 years ago when I was 20 years old. Since then I've had a stem cell transplant and thankfully am doing very well physically. 

Emotionally, however, it has been harder than I expected. I am finding it hard to connect with people my age. It seems like all the conversations I have are so pointless and as soon as it starts getting a little more serious and deep the person doesn't know what to say and so I have to change the subject back to the superficial-ness it was before, leaving me feeling like an idiot that I even brought it up. So, to cope, I end up always wanting to talk about the same topics over and over because I know they are safe and won't make anyone uncomfortable which means my conversations end up being pretty dull since I really don't know what else I can talk about... know what I mean??

Does anyone else get this? Maybe I just haven't found a good group of friends but it's hard to find someone I really feel comfortable with.

Cstoutz2
Posts: 3
Joined: Feb 2014

Are you implying that your conversations are dull with people you may want to date or just with friends in general. 

Don't have much to offer In terms of dating because I'm married but I did find that even during my diagnosis and all of my treatment my husband(whom I've know for 14years and been married to for 3)was very difficult to communicate with. Why? the only thing I can think of is fear. 

In terms of friends, while I'm a few years older(30) most people in your age have fortunately never experienced anything of this magnitude and let's just be honest if it weren't happening to you the last thing on your mind would be having a meaningful conversation. I know at that age I was interested in partying, working and school in that order. From my experience through my battle with lymphoma while I've had a very strong support group full of wonderful friends and family you really do start looking for the deeper meaning in life instead of the superficial things that used to occupy your mind. I've made a ton of friends through this. People that may never have talked to me because I wasn't their type or cool enough or that I just wasn't interested in but somehow I managed to have the courage to go out and enjoy an almost normal social life despite having no hair and people really got to see me as a person and took the time to talk to me and get to know me instead of the cover they were judging before. 

Not sure if this was helpful at all but whatever you do "find joy in the journey" and just be you. This forum offers a lot of help and insight from people in atleast similar situations so we'll help you through! 

 

 

 

Britbarnes
Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2014

I have the same problem. I was diagnosed at 16, now 6 years cancer free. I have a hard time connecting with others, especially my age. I've also never met or talked to anyone my age who has been through the same Thing. I understand how you feel.

 

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