Mar 09, 2014 - 7:26 pm
This is my first post. My mom was just diagnosed with very aggressive metastatic lung cancer. They found multiple diffuse brain tumors after a seizure 3 weeks ago. Before that she was healthy. She just turned 60 in the end of January. I've been sensing that she's been acting off for months already. At one point I actually asked her if she was sick because she was acting just so unlike herself. The problem is I am the only one who noticed it and no one in my family believes me. She makes excuses that I've just been annoying. So, the first week and a half (it's only been 3 weeks), she wanted me at every appointment and I took notes and doctors gave me their cards and cell phone numbers, not her, and she wanted that.
Then last Saturday night she had a very scary episode, perhaps it was the steroids, the oxycodone and the brain tumors combined, but she said awful hateful things to me. She said she's resented me since I was a child and she doesn't love me. I stayed with her that night and at 3am she called me on my cell phone from the next room and said, "room service, I'd like applesauce and cheerios." I got up a bit disoriented and looked all around for applesauce. I told her I found yogurt and cheerios but she then came out of her room cursing at me and saying the most horrid things a child (even an adult) can hear from their mother. She said I make everything worse and have always been a burden and an albatross and she wishes I was never born. She then threw the applesauce at me, which she found and told me was in every other place in her apartment. I was terrified.
Since then she has banned her doctors from speaking to me about her treatment and has not spoken to me in a week. I think this is the longest we've even gone without communicating. My friends and therapist believe me, but my family and my mom's partner think I must have done something to precipitate all of this, since she seems to be acting normally with them. I am her daughter and know her best, yet it seems I have already lost her. I don't know what to do! Please help! How do I convince my family that it is her, not me? And how do I get my mom to be my mom again before she dies?
Thanks so much!